30s TTC - We Started TTC When the LAST Coalition Government Was In Power

[Muser]

BESH is BACK for Spring. Come in, admire the cocktail bar stylings I have created for you. It's all lowlights and smooth sounds, and there's a rehearsal room in back for the GLEE practice.

The barman are beautiful, the Pit has been well stocked with beanbags and gin. So roll up all you 30-something BESHies who stopped counting cycles sometime in the last century, and grab a martini.

ewww, Casserole. Another BESH I will never be able to meet irl...

Ocarina not sure where you're off to, hope it's somewhere good like a lovely sunny holiday...

Have a triffic time Occy. Jealous? Moi?

Cass - this is terribly exciting! I too am on day 12. I too have S-edWI today with pillows under arse and I even took the advice for him to have his turn first then me.

Diffular buddies we we come. Well there's nothing like being positive is there?

Ooh, sorry, that smile was for Bess Pisces, not you. Are we exactamundo same day then? It seems so!

Yes, I took that advice too.

Shall we book ourselves a joint labour room too?? As obv will both diff this month...

Morning ladeez,

Well it appears yesterday was a shag-tastic time, cass, aries, I too had the sexy time + pillows under arse eve (Bess sorry, another BESH off your list). However, I cannot join your day 12 club as I was day 19, nnnnnn nnnnn 19. Seeing as we're all diffed this month (hobviously), if I eat a curry & squeeze really hard mebbe I can have baby-laurie on the same day as youse. I mean, how hard can it be?

gin you dribbling fool, hope the tooth removal went OK & you're on your way to being pain free. You DHB, you.

scorp you've only got to look at your posts here to realise you're a born journo! I honestly couldn't think of anything you are better suited to. Glad the course went well, long may it continue. Also glad needles lady continues to make you feel good.

head sorry about the droid. Tis really a nasty, evil little bastard.

oca hope you're off somewhere fabulous. Have a good time & don't forget to come back diffed. Them's the rules.

Story of the day yesterday (not Twat Fat Lying Moonface, another colleague so more inclined to believe) - their friend's ages 37 (lady) & 40 (fella) just found out she's updiffed. However, they have a 19 year old, & 13 year old & fella had the snip after 13 year old was born. Its, ahem, his baby. Oh, and she's 7 months gone .

I work with some strange people, don't I?

Roundhouse kicks to everyone else.

Morning BESHes, PollyPoop calling in for duty.

Gin I hope the removal of the tooth has given you some relief. You are def a DHB. Did you bite the dentist?!

Oca I hope you have a fabulishous holiday and come back tanned, relaxed and diffed.

Scorp my stalking skills have obviously been offline lately as I did not know of the course - must try harder. I am so glad it went well and cannot think of another career you'd be better suited too.

too to, FFS.

without it falling out Sorry sorry sorry. Reading back it sounds stupidly insensitive. I use that phrase with TG all the time to get him to do stuff I don't want to/buy me chocolate/not tickle me, i.e. 'I can't possibly take the bins out, the baybee will fall out'. Just kind of trips off my tongue.

chcc choc for fucking hells sake. Typing skills seem to have deserted me, gah.

polly panic not about talking about baby falling out. Makes me laff.

I'd worry more about your typing skills!!!

Its like Tales of the Unexpected here. Wonder what mysteries & stories today will bring

Nice dancing skills Laurie, watch that flame doesn't get too close to your arse now. Surely one of your colleagues will provide us with much laffing fodder today? Pray tell, what kind of place do you work? I'm intrigued.

Don't worry poopy we are all glad baybee hasn't fallen out

Well,I'm still in bed,which is quite weird. As normally I would have been jumping about with moo since 6am (well actually I cheat and bring him into our bed to watch telly n play cars n bake cupcakes on my iPhone)

but lovely childminder insisted I would be stupid not to rest today after having been so ill so she's looking after the moocher. Which is actually quite good as I couldn't sleep last night and am feeling fairly weird today. Am also not sure when I'll ever want to eat again....

Mr gin has been ace too. Took me to dentist and drove me home,admired the giant bloody crater in my gob,dealt with moo's giant lark tendancies this morning (he normally doesn't actually wake up even once we start building a garage in the bed...)

glad to hear much swi and positivity. May the duff fairy bring you all joy.

I too would like news of Lyra. and think scorp should be a journo. And am jealous of oca.

Oh and after a brief and strange conviction I was gonna be pg this month I now think I was just hopin' n dreamin'. Norkage no longer has anything interesting to bring to the table. Just don't think it happened. Not much shagging and I was so ill at should've-been-ov-time my body prob wasn't working properly.

I might try n sleep a bit more now. Having to sleep sort of propped up as otherwise seem to keep getting a mouthfull of blood. I shall dream of angel and spike. (sees silver lining in cloud)

Poooooor Gin. At least the bastard is out. Abscesses can be very dangerous. Sounds bloody bloody awful.

Aw, you guys are making my blush wiv all your lovely journo compliments! Although I think Aspie Dad got it right when he says 'you talk so bloody much you ought to turn it into a job' Poll, I shall, in time, forgive your non-stalking of me. Couldn't you check the footage from the hidden cameras whilst you were away? Pah, lightweight!

Am glad BooTwo has no intention of falling out. Fuzzy felt baybee, innit. The only thing that gives me some relief when 2WOOFLing is telling TYF I can't do anything around the house 'in case' I was pregnant and it 'knocks it out'. And I barely do owt around the house anyway!

Lozza, your colleague's 'miracle' updiffment sounds intriguing and gossip-tastic. It's obvious her partner's, just like it was obviously the white husband of our white family friend who was the father of their mixed-race baby when I was 10. The fact that they had a black lodger was entirely irrelevant to the whole affair

BTW, I once did a Tales of The Unexpected dance to make TYF laugh when I was in the nudd a few years back, cos he kept opening his curtains and they kept closing themselves. It was only when I squinted that I realised that the curtains were now firmly open and had stayed open...

Gin, glad you are able to get you time for yourself to recuperate properly. Even DBHs like you need to chillax sometimes

Well, today is Dildocam Day and Return To Sex Day! The two are not, I repeat, NOT connected. Am scared I will break TYF later...

BTW, Needles Lady asked me why I'm having a Lap but not a Lap and Dye (does the job of a HSG without the pain and foofoo intrusion). So am going to hassle hospital about this too. Cold isn't any worse than yesterday, so am hoping massively that the needling stopped it in its tracks.

Right, have written more than enough but my excuse is that I am now a leading journo

Just popping in for a quick hello from my sick rest bed (don't ask, it involves every orifice ) and I discover that the lovely ScorpAdie is doing the journo thang! Excellent news. It's my trade, as you know, but you are way better at writing and far more clued up on the world and its ways, so I see nothing but Good Things ahead. And, of course, sod's law will have it that as soon as you are on a new career track you will get diffed. Please to tell me all about it here or in ovver place?

My sympathies for anyone undergoing internal examinations. I had some speculum fun this week too, so feel your "pain".

I'm going to steal some of the gin now, but first giggly gropes all round and a selection of deli cheeses for anyone in the pit. Catch up properly when my internet it not being driven by hedgehogs winding cogs.

Fanks all. Gin I'm glad you are getting the chance to rest. Let me fluff up those pillows for ya.

Scorps I am still working my way through all that footage... I keep replaying the bit where you are rubbing the bodycreme into your norks whilst pouting at the 'secret' camera, you dirty hussy. Good luck for today, will be thinking of you my sweet. (especially when you are doing the 'return to sex' bit later, hehe.)

Really must get off my arse, I am still in dressing gown on sofa, Boo still in her PJ's. I am a shocking mother.

p.s just caught up with the nastiness, gin. I know abcesses can be pure Hell so I'm glad you are getting a chance to rest. Take care

And nice to see you back poohead. Hope all is going well. (sorry, slow pony internet not letting me catch up with the many, many pages I have missed)

Yeah, great, now I will be getting my sexy on later with visions of Poobum watching from a window and eating popcorn. As per usual.

I'm still in me nightie and I don't have the excuse of being either full with child or a Mama. Embrace the slattern within, I say!

CurlyTwirlsBarbie (does anyone remember that ad?), am sorry to hear you feel so urrrrgh. I hope you feel better asap (remember that the end result will be worth it )And as a wordsmith wot gets actual cashes for writing, your words touch me deeply. Can I tap you shamelessly for contacts, etc.? I'd snog ya, but you've, erm, got a little bit of spew above your top lip Although I am slightly grumpy that I can't give up the journalism now out of uselessness like I usually do everything else, cos have weight of BESH/PESH expectation on me. Am I allowed to write articles about TTC madness? Was actually thinking of setting up a 2nd blog, all about Teh Menkul of Babyneed/fail.

poo I work for the public sector - nuff said, innit?

There is a fast-track box on the app? "Are you insane in the membrane?" Tick hell yeah!

Tis a bit boring here today. Only drama is grad student having some cash crisis, taking landlord to court etc. Apparently landlord is Pakistani mafia. Diversity in the workplace? What's that?

But that's not as exciting as vasectomy baby or whole family collapsing, is it? (I'm a cold hearted biatch. When Twat Fat Lying Moonface was telling us about girlfriend in a coma I just came over all Morrisey on him).

scorp good luck with dildocam, try not to get too hot with it. Enjoy this evening too!!! Curly twirls barbie - genius!! I decided to use the twirly device on my sister. Had to be cut out of her hair...
Where is your blog I wanna read.....

gin barf at thought of mouth full of blood. Hope you feel better soon. Sounds like you're surrounded by nice caring people (in RL, goes without saying we all fit that bill).

casp hope your orifices / ofifici feel better soon. Is that too personal? Nah, well beyond that stage I think!

Pliz to stop talking about PJ's. I've been suited & booted since 7am. Well, I work for a professional organisation

Bastards in pyjamas. I AM STRESSED. WORK IS HARD. PEOPLE KEEP SHOUTING AT ME.

figgy Hello! Nice to see you, even with tales of unpleasant and tactless MIL.

Hello everyone else. Have read all posts and am v excited for all the bonkage and career gubbins but BECAUSE PEOPLE KEEP SHOUTING AT ME I have to be speedy.

cameltoe can't you just shout back to FECK OFF?

" Curly twirls, barbie doll"...circa 1985 I believe.

Polly Toynbee Scorps, hope dildocam is all you dreamed it would be (but then I am a physcial and moral coward). Have been FBing a friend in Aus who's recently popped and she dropped dark hints about a traumatic birth but didn't elaborate as didn't want to put me off! Might give up on the idea.

Like a virgin! Dildocammed for the very first time!

Sing along with me now!

See you later, cats & kittens!

PS Big bum pinch to Camelot

I mean the pinch is big, not her perfect, ripe derriere