30s TTC - We Started TTC When the LAST Coalition Government Was In Power

[Muser]

BESH is BACK for Spring. Come in, admire the cocktail bar stylings I have created for you. It's all lowlights and smooth sounds, and there's a rehearsal room in back for the GLEE practice.

The barman are beautiful, the Pit has been well stocked with beanbags and gin. So roll up all you 30-something BESHies who stopped counting cycles sometime in the last century, and grab a martini.

Not the sane,but mr gin relies on my family for all his parenty-type emotional needs and support. His are spectacularly rubbish.

This is not my usual form figgy...but you can have a go on Fight Club Brad if you want. He has a surprising amount of energy,and is quite creative

sane same. fucking phone.

I am appreciating the go on Father-of-Thirty-One-Brad and am giving you a dead leg and a clove to shove in your toothy peg. [smooches]

"We will fix it, we will fix it!" When I have my lap, I'm going to insist that the Docs let the mice from the mouse organ in there for a look-see; if anyone can sort me out, it's GOT to be them

Bossfriend keeps telling me my 'do looks like Aunt Flo's from Bod WE ARE SO OLD!

GirlsGoneWILD, so good to hear from you, but sorry to hear of your pain. Lorra blue BESHes about at the mo; unless they're in it, no-one can understand the sheer grinding awfulness of babyfail. Good for you for opening a can of whoopass on MIL - hopefully she'll think twice in the future before filling her big gob with feet Please don't give up - I sooo want you to win

Poor scorps & the cold. I've kept my germs to meself. I also have that there asthma. No sympathy from the boyf, just him following me around waving anything light saber-ish in the air saying "Luke, I am your father".

fig what a cow of a MIL. If it helps I've fired an actual gun - MP5 semi-automatic machine gun. The guy in "The Gun Store" (does what it says on the tin) told me I was a natural born killer (in the proud way only an American can). Managed to shred my target imagining a picture of the ex there . However, I think the BESH AK47 is prolly the most deadly of all weapons. Just sorry you had the need to use it.

I went to bed with my head in a spin last night. To grapefruit juice or not grapefruit juice, EPO v starflower oil, chesty cough medicine v tickly cough medicine. How do you ladies know all these things? Seriously, this is one point I've constantly whinged to the boyf about, I really think I'm missing some kind of gene where everyone else in the history of the world (prone to dramatics? Moi?) seems to know such things, while I remain clueless.

gin you losing the nasty tooth today? Hope you're OK. Also hope its a back tooth, & you don't end up looking like me circa 1978!

Yep lorry...and tho this will do no good for my DHB status I'm actually quite scared....

I have also just visited AIBU. Dunno why,I really don't like it there...

I think your DHB status is in tact for firstly lasting this long & secondly actually going to the dentist to have said tooth removed.

Don't worry, I won't tell anyone you're scared

I love AIBU. Full of angry, sarcastic people. I don't know of another fred like it

I have had my rat out this morning, lovely smear test. Nurse asked if I wanted a chaperone, so many people have stared up my chuff recently that I no longer care. I'll get my rat out for anyone with a vague medical qualification.

Hope today goes well gin. You are still a dbh.

Good luck with Dr Mengele, Gingangooly.

I loved Wilds BESH onslaught!

Also mad on AIBU, but don't really post on there - well I did yesterday, but it killed the fred, so

I am NOT HERE as have NOTHING TO SAY (CD10 so about to commence SWI), just popped in to wave at fignewton.

The place where everybody knows your pain, eh figgy? Sounds like a perfect thread title to me. My MIL had both children in her mid 20s so is similarly baffled at our failure to reproduce. My mum was a 70s BESH - had me at 34, sis at 38, several MCs and a baby who died , so is more understanding.

Also also also - Chris Addison is a worthy addition to our menagarie, thanks for dropping him in. HO went to uni with him and is v. of his success, whilst grudgingly conceding he is fab. His chest is AWFULLY hairy though, did you see him on HIGNFY?

I am still NOT HERE, but -

Good luck to Gin Lorry stop necking all that shit!

Cheering tongue sandwiches to Scorps and Head

Hope BooTwo is all settled in Poll?

A question - why am I being sent for HyCoSy but have never had dildocam? Feel am missing out on some funs.

Good luck with the toof Ginsters. Hope you get lots of lovely drugs.

Punches to Figster - how are you this morning?

Muse - gosh you've had your rat out already? You must have been the dawn session. Am very admiring of the blase nature all you wimminz discuss showing strangers your inner workings. It still scares me stiff and makes me want to die of humiliation, even just the thought of it. Is that very un-BESHly?

MORNING BESHES!!!!!!!!

Lolz I have been LOLing at your colleague. Sorry and all that, but 'tis fucking funny.

Scrofulous, I'm so sorry about the twatting cold. You any better this fine morning? I have a weak chest (much to the hilarity of all who see me) and stave off chest infections by an endless succession of luxurious purely medicinal steaming hot baths. Inhale inhale inhale etc. Funz!

How's the tender buzzwams, Ginster? Tho I daresay as you're about to face the dentist any tenderness below the neck is likely to be unnoticed. Lucks to you. Though I myself would far rather have an extraction than a filling - takes half as long and there's no whiny drilling...

WeAllWantSomeFiggyPudding do please feel free to throw the MIL in the BESHpit, where I can maul her.

Well now. Thanks to you all for your nicenesses yesterday. Is all brilliance unconfined. I am trying to break things down into manageable pieces. I think it's the agony of decision-making that's getting me: SOMETHING needs to change career-wise but darling friends who know me better than myself are cautioning against the Bar for various reasons I can bore you with upon application. There are other positions I can take up that suit me, would be challenging and well paid, but which would not require 2 more years of poverty and study all whilst also working nearly full time (a virtually unheard-of feat). So I am now in the position of having called in favours and contacts from half a dozen folk assisting me with the whole Bar thing, and in the other direction people who know me well advising me to apply for other jobs that are less terrifyingly 'work 12 hours a day for the rest of your life' ish. And I know it all comes down to this: MAKE YOUR OWN FUCKING MIND UP WOMAN.

I am now going to the park to work on the PhD stuff in the sunshine.

oh and in other news, droid not really showing itself other than perhaps 2 brown strings and half a teaspoon of Ovaltine (thanks to whoever came up with that perfectly apt description). I imagine stress is delaying it, but we'll see. I'll POAS Friday if still no proper blood.

Thanks chaps. Appt is 2.45...do you think they intentionally avoid 2.30 appts?

lorry I don't do any of the grapefruit juice and etc type things.

whothefuckisalice it's still gasping for breath...I may possibly have finished it off tho

I was the first appointment Aries. I have never been that bothered about doctorly examinations. I figure the nurse sees all sorts and probably isn't that interested in mine.

heads what a frustrating time. I hope you get answers soon.

laurie I don't actually do any of the grapefruit juice/EPO/wotnot. And I only knew about EPO because I googled it.

Finally, the smear appears to have made me bleed lots. Is that normal? Never happened before. I wonder if it brought on droid (not due for maybe a week.

I always bleed at smears (said in wistful manner of 'I always cry at weddings'). Is coz I am/have a delicate flower, innit? Docs tell me some laydeez have more sensitive cervixuz or they can be more sensitive at certain times in your cycle. Now, would you care to get your rat out for me, Artist'sMuse? I've heard you dropped your kecks the other day when overhearing someone discussing hayfever, so it's only fair I get a gander

Gin, good luck with the tooth! As you know, I've had one out so you know I feel your pain. But ANYTHING will be better than the agony. Be strong, my DBH. MWAH! MWAH!

Lyra, that was a lush snog. Hope I haven't given you my cold But it was worth it

Shebangsthedrum, glad to see you're feeling a bit more on top of things. Fabulousness such as yours must be very overwhelming at times (genuine, not disingenuous)

As for stupid caaahs being tactless about BESHery, well, my Mum had me at 24 and she gets the BESH pain. It's called 'not being a thoughtless cunt' and is not connected to the age you became a mother yourself. MIL had her kids at 29, 31 and 35, so was a back-in-the-day BESH and is still tactless. When can we arrange a collective MIL-kicking down in the pit? Should be just the tonic!

Me? Feel like shit, have slept late on me day off and don't have time to get stuff done I need to do, needles later then start a journalism course thingy later, but feel like cold-ridden shit and don't look much better. Hate the world SULK!

You're starting a journalism course? Fucking top news. And exactly that you should be doing and all. Would write more but am shivering in a park and fingers failing to function.

Why are you shivering, sun's out up here? And I agree, journalism course sounds ace (for Scorps, not me, I'd be rubbish).

Hope the tooth-removal is untraumatic gin.

Went into Boots to buy more vitamins earlier and the woman on the till decided to try and engage me in conversation about 'getting ready' and telling me that her daughter's friend's 2 year old is a genius because her Mum took prenatal vitamins . Why couldn't I just buy them in peace? (still, at least she managed to deactivate the security tags so I didn't keep setting alarms off like last time I bought the things....)

We took LOADS of kit to the park for a long sunny stay and managed 1.5 hours before it got overcast and chilly...

Droid has started in earnest. First time I've had personal experience of stress affecting the cycle (extending it by a full 2 days. What gives, man?! Can our bodies be any more complicated? Jeez!). At least it means I can apply for this job in clear conscience...

Arse about the droid. They always manage to trick us - even if we know we're not really. It's evil, evil I tell you.

Bangers...yes the body truly does fuck with you when trying for diffification...this is from someone who has always had perfectly normal uneventful cycles until the last year or so. Now it's all over the place and as menkul as the mind, therefore disproving any dualistc theories QED.

Scorps, excellent news re journalism course- don't let anything stand in your way, particularly your own ridonkulous perceptions of yourself, if ever you feel a bit 'stick your Jack up your arse'* about what you ate doing and what might be standing in your way, then just ask TYF what he thinks you are capable of, and act accordingly!

*a moral tale about how we put the mockers on something before it's even begun, courtesy of me mam, happy to share when not typing into iPhone!

Aw shucks, fanks PamAyers and NogginKnocker *! I really enjoyed tonight's course intro and the leader complimented me massively on the work I produced AND he happens to be someone who serendipitously comes into my work a lot (network, network) so it's all gravy. I dunno what 'stick your jack up your arse' means exactly, but I get the gist - and here was me thinking I hid my tendency to constantly shoot myself in the foot with an uzi 9-mm of pessimism from you really well

Gin, I has relied to your AIBU and hope your tooth removal went fine - being a DBH, did you just tie some string round it and the other half to a door handle and then slammed the door? My Dad used to joke he was going to do this to me and my bro whenever we had toothache as kids - there is clearly no connection between that and me and my bro now having mild phobias of dentists, ahem.

Needling went well today; am hoping it'll stop my cold in its tracks or at least make it not so bad. Can't handle thought of having to cancel lap and then waiting another 6-8 weeks for another and therefore having to put off TTC for 2 more months

BUT! Am trying to make concerted effort to be a bit more positive. Think if I try new stuff then that gives out the vibe that I'm open to new life. Man.

*That one was care of TYF - I asked him to think of a smartarse twist on your moniker and came up with that!

Just popping in to say farewell, don't have too much fun without me (OK, do) and I hope when I get back in 2 1/2 weeks there'll be cobwebs cos you're all in the deli. Snogs all round.

Hello all. Sorry about the droid Head. Drink?

Well, I am posting from my SWI bed, how's that for dedication (not to mention too much information!). Day 12.

Arse up on pillows? Check.
His and hers orgasms? Check.
Deafblind mutant sperm? Check.
Psychotic cold frigid bitch egg? Any day now.

la la la....

Have a fanfuckingtabulous time, AngelinaOcarina! Don't forget to get diffed

Quick grope for the road?