30s TTC - We Started TTC When the LAST Coalition Government Was In Power

[Muser]

BESH is BACK for Spring. Come in, admire the cocktail bar stylings I have created for you. It's all lowlights and smooth sounds, and there's a rehearsal room in back for the GLEE practice.

The barman are beautiful, the Pit has been well stocked with beanbags and gin. So roll up all you 30-something BESHies who stopped counting cycles sometime in the last century, and grab a martini.

Gin wins best thread title evah. We have 50ish more posts before she has to be the hostess-with-the-mostest.

Re: Dickens. I likes Bleak Arse, I do. Had to read it for university, which felt like a giant waste of time, then reread it on the tube while doing my first commute in London, and it suddenly made sense. The Victorian serial novels are made for commutes.

Aries Love the idea of ill, sad books. I auto-read 1930s novelists when ill and sad - the bracing stiff-upper-lip-ness of it all cheers me up enormously.

I also read shitloads of romance. But you lot knew that anyway.

Cassie if the droid starts later in the weekend ie Saturday afternoon rather than Friday(WHICH IT WON'T OF COURSE) then you should probs go Monday morning. Then it wouldn't be day 4 exactly, more like day 3. Day 3.1 tops. That was my reasoning. It makes more sense in my head...

Cassiopeia I'd check with your GP, but would think that earlier is better. FSH levels increase during the first week of your cycle, so Day 2/3 gives you the best baseline. Does your GP do bloods at the weekend? Mine opens on a Saturday for appointments and blood tests.

I don't actually like dickens. I don't like eastenders either

do y'know I have actually never,in the thousand years I have frequented the ginpalace, hosted a thread ???

stew by the way,wasn't ignoring your query,am just clueless on the subject,sorry.

Comma overload. I blame Dickens.

Haven't watched Eastenders since I left home many years ago. Not that I don't like it, just that it's on SO many nights a week and then all my other lovely telly would start to feel left out and then I'd never leave the house again.

Ginnyreckon On that basis, you absolutely have to open the bar on the next thread. I think I did one, in the dim and distant past.

Depressing thought: aren't we due an anniversary party soon? I'm pretty sure we both delurked around a year ago

BTW - this comes from menkulness seen on another thread - would you leave your partner if he had lunch with a female friend or ex, and didn't tell you?!

It seems to be the general consensus .

I'm fairly certain that I would need to actively catch the OM hopped up on ketamine taking part in a full-scale gay orgy before I left himn (and even then I think my overwhelming reaction would be one of surprise). I don't know whether that makes me deluded or some kind of indulgent hippy type. If he had lunch with a gal-pal, and I found out about it a month later, I might be mildly hurt that he hadn't been honest, but largely I would just wreak the piss until he begged for mercy. I can't really imagine flinging away 14 years of love and friendship and all that soppy bollox for a lunch, for God's sake!

AIBU?!

(Sorry my posts are so determinedly nont-TTC; a month off means I shouldn't be here, but I cannot leave you alone. I've tried: my God I've tried...)

No way would I leave him Heads that's crazy talk. He has lunch with females all the time. I meet up with male friends all the time. What's the big deal? Should I also pout if he goes out with the his gay friends? Or should he if I go out with my lesbian best friend (I am that middle class)? Some people are ridiculous.

But I had a friend who was freaking out because she'd made a new friend who was male and married. They went to the cinema a lot as they had similar tastes in films. Lots of people felt this was inappropriate and she ought to not see him. I thought they were all barking. I may be weird though.

They'd leave just because he had lunch? How bizarre. I feel like a low maintenance wife for once!!

Thanks all for advice. Never even occurred to me there might be a Sat morning option. Well, if droid beeps will see.

Loving the new fred title ginty

I totally agree Muse. I have some v. close male friends and the OM bats not an eyelid when we hang out(even when they stay the night to keep me company when he's on night shifts, which written like that sounds rather dubious, but in fact is only a pal sleeping off a meal and two bottles of Lidl red on the sofa for the love of God).

I guess these women were saying they'd leave him if he kept it quiet, but even then...meh. I can't get that worked up about it, frankly. I'd prolly question why he'd felt the need to keep it quiet, but leaving?...

I do despair of The Youth Of Today

If he didn't tell me I'd just assume it had slipped his mind, rather than was deliberately keeping it from me. Where is this thread?

Also, don't run off heads. If I can keep posting having had 3 months off then you can too.

I guess it's the secrecy that worries her? Don't get me wrong, it's clearly nuts - but the need to keep something a secret from her implies a) that he thought he was doing something wrong b) that she is a crazy jealous insane woman so he needed to keep something innocent secret and c) that there's probably something mahoosively fucked up about their relationship on the grounds of a) and b). But then I'm too lazy and complacent to be jealous, and will be well served when TNB runs away with a thinner, nicer, more fertile, younger woman.

New friends are tricky, though - viz. innocent cinema trips. I only say this because soon after I got married I accidentally pulled someone (not to the extent of anything happening, just a horrible realisation that he expected something to happen).

The fred is here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/976678-looming-awkward-encounter

Although the man is being a bit of a nob, so it's not the best example I can find...it's just I see it on MN a lot. You know: some hapless fellow gets hit on by a girl in a pub, doesn't recoil quick enough: "Leave him!" howl the MN harpies. Or some slightly silly middle aged chap takes his secretary to lunch, and is too embarrassed to 'fess up: "Leave the swine!" and so on and so on.

Drom I think maybe it's complacency on my part too. Not sure that that's good. No fuck it it IS good! And the OM's obviously pretty dang complacent about me too, given one of my best male pals is so beautiful he has been known to make grown women weep, and grown men go home and puzzle over their sexuality late at night over a lonely scotch!

There you go. Love is being a lazy-ass cow that truly couldn't give a shit one way or t'other

PS - I love the idea of 'accidentally' pulling, and I'm also now that this is something I have never achieved!

I'd dump the man on the thread because he sounds like a git. But generally speaking not.

I wonder if it's all about the intent or the nuances or the aura or all those other clever, subtle things?

I couldn't imagine Husband ever being so confident as to have lunch with another laydee and I know damn well I'd be very hurt if he did. But then he went to a Boys' school and doesn't have many old childhood/teenage female friends and so if he did have a lunch it would be with someone who he'd met after me and I'd see it as meaning something. And considering he never takes me, his wife, to lunch would be a bit rich. On the other hand, if I went to lunch with the one man I used to work with, he would not bat an eyelid (I think anyway) because I have always had lots of male friends. This makes me sound like I have awful double standards, which might just be true! Also there are male friends and there are male friends. There is one bloke who I've always managed to remain friends with who I was in love with for years and who truly broke my heart and kept on doing so again and again. I wouldn't have lunch alone with him because I know that it would mean something more than it should to me, even after all these years. We only meet with lots of other friends in the pub and I still confess to feeling a little something for him. Now is that unfaithful? Is it?

I also have accidentally pulled. A few times. Have always been faaaar too friendly y'see.

In fact mr gin is the only bloke who got it wrong the other way round,ie thought I was just super-friendly when it was obvious to the rest of the known universe that I had,erm 'the hots' for him. Bigtime. Bless.

In our relationship there are some specific people that each of us would be pissed off if the other saw in secret

Ooo ooo Aries just read the end of your post properly (mooch was weeing on my foot before) and the thing you described,well that's exactly the type of thing I meant re people from the past. If it would feel wrong to do it,then it kind of is wrong I think. Unless it only feels wrong cos your partner is an oppressive overbearing arse of course (not referring to mr Aries obviously)

Fuck me,I am incoherent today. Hope you guys can unravel the words in my last 2 posts and make sense of them!

Wibble, babble, wibble. But don't worry, darling, we love you anyway.

Moscow really shouldn't be hot. It should be cold and full of people gloomily wearing fur.

Is your bro a happy boy?

WE MISSED THE ANNIVERSARY OF THE THREAD. BESH Palace, est 5th April 2009. Still here, 3 June 2010.

NB Lyra, Gin and I all delurked in June. Can we have a June party instead? Huh? Where we all get pissed mildly tipsy in front of our screens and type incoherent nonsense? Or would we not notice the difference?

And no,that's not unfaithful. You can't help the fact some feelings remain,you can decide if you act on them in any way. And the decision you make shows that you love your fella.

Spotting has started. Am fed up now . Very fed up. I'm not a crier, but my heart feels like it's sinking to my boots. Clearly this was the reason for my existentialist doom yesterday and Rosumunde Pilcher-wallow this morning. But at least MrA isn't being a twat about it like last month.

Aries - But get the droid over and done with for proper Mass Summer Diffment!

Gin, your title is genius and you MUST host the next fred. Hope it will be suitably raucous and debauched for the festival season, just the way you like it

I think I joined Le Palais in June last year, or possibly the start of July. Am am still here but I met my darling BESHettes! Swings and roundabouts, swings and roundabouts (now gimme my baybeeeeeeeeeee).

I hate Dickens but managed to get a really high mark for doing one of the exam questions on Great Expectorations during my finals. Go figure. I haven't read any Rodamunde Pilcher! I feel like I'm missing out on life now I must get some of her stuff from the library, forthwith. She sounds simply divine, dahlinks! When I'm feeling blue, I watch The Notebook. Retro-Cheese Blub Fest all the way.

Today went fine. Bossfriend wasn't in, another member of staff was there and she was really thoughtful and cool. Yay!

As for the meeting friends of the opposite sex, well, I saw that fred and couldn't work out what all the fuss was about. I can understand the girlf being well pissed-off he didn't tell her he'd had dinner with an old flame but nothing much else. I have loads of male friends - indeed, my oldest friend is someone I briefly dated and have used, on occasion, as a fuck buddy - and TYF couldn't give a shit. And his bezzy mate is a woman (another of my birthday twins). Mind you, TYF is so shy that I would love for him to have lunch on his own with a pal, male or female! The ridiculous belief that menz and wimmnz can't be platonic friends speaks volumes about the immaturity and faithfulness of those who are suspicious about it, frankly.

Although saying that, I am fairly jealous and possessive. But only in a pathetic, needy, low self-esteem kinda way, so that's okay

Am now actually swigging Tesco's white Vin de Table de France out of the bottle . Is that too, too beastly? I think I need one of your 30s stiff upper lip novels Camel. Any suggestions? It must first and foremost be easy, you get me?