30s TTC - We Started TTC When the LAST Coalition Government Was In Power

[Muser]

BESH is BACK for Spring. Come in, admire the cocktail bar stylings I have created for you. It's all lowlights and smooth sounds, and there's a rehearsal room in back for the GLEE practice.

The barman are beautiful, the Pit has been well stocked with beanbags and gin. So roll up all you 30-something BESHies who stopped counting cycles sometime in the last century, and grab a martini.

I take EPO. But on the container of every farking vitamin it says not to take if considering diffment. What gives?

Am off to set up an O898 number & make some summer holiday cash, thanks to sore throat.

Though I think I hear my chocolatey-tones differently to the boyf. He's just phoned & said "What's the matter with your voice? You sound menkal". Lovely.

Mmmmm, fig rolls. Nom nom nom.

It's because you're meant to stop taking it after ovulation laurie. Take it from droid arrival to ov time, then stop taking it until either diffed or new droid. It's not good for pregnancy y'see. But good for oving. If you were considering diffedness without having a good idea of your cycle would be a bad thing to take.

It can cause contractions of your Joe Mangel!

Hello, lushes. Just delurking for one second to say HEE! at laurie furiously checking online to see if Fibbing Man could possibly have been on that flight. That made me laugh out loud. Sorry everyone else is grimmed up to the eyeballs. In bitterer moments, I do wonder if this whole 'drink grapefruit juice/cough medicine/glue/your own wee' business is Mean Girls style bollocks dreamed up by the Fertile to rub it in...

Why the fuck did I not know that factoid about EPO? I take it every farkin day! This is clearly the only reason why I haven't won my baybee yet! But isn't it supposed to help with hurty norks? Do I switch to Starflower Oil? Or just punch myself in the tits hourly to relief the aching? What? WHAT? WHAAAAT?

Headcase, you poor old thing, I sense the tipping point of a fellow perfectionist. I felt like I was going to have a Nervy B just reading the litany of demands you've placed upon yourself. Yes, many of them can't be avoided, job 'n' PhD-wise, but there's lots of things you list that you can put on the back boiler, as others have said. The reason why I've been getting so depressed recently is that there's so much I want to change and do and I can't seem to make myself do it, but I realise that I expect myself to take radical action and make massive strides instantly, which is unachievable. Your main priority at the mo should be looking after your gorgeous self. As for your weird brown string stuff, sounds like you've started spotting early before the main event, for the last few months. I have that problem, as did Pooface. If it's LPD (Luteal Phase Disorder, when you don't get past 10-12 DPO before spotting starts), it can be brought on by stress, so bear that it mind (yep, yet another thing to beat yourself up about ). Wanna curl up by the fire under a big blanket with me? I've got baby oil!

PS Laurie, am so sorry you have to work with such a towering knobber, but he sounds hilarious (from afar). We have an odious freak who works at a neighbouring business who drives us mad all the time at my work, so I feel a little of your pain. You need to expose that bloke for the twatbasket that he clearly is!

I am so confused. I don't know who anyone is or WTF is going on. It's a new fred but it feelz like a New World, BESHies. How long was I gone, fer ferkins sake?!

WhothefuckisAlice can I have a clue at least? Cos I'm being royally thick over here.

I have nothing to report, really. Day 11 so will get POAOS tomorrow. Ought to think about shagging I spose. Can't really be h'arsed.

Twirls and gropes to all who want 'em.

Calm down, calm down. It's only one name change!

stewie think of the noise a steam engine makes.

eeeyore aw c'mere you poor little brain-fried lovely. I find it is definitely something that stress brings on,the whole sense of 'and also I MUST do THAT and this other thing too and a million things that I'd thought about earlier this year and if I haven't read plato's complete works and learnt macrame by the summer I just can't live with myself....'*

it's overwhelming. but as sensible BESHes have pointed out,narrow that list down to the essentials and it Can Be Done. I think. Is definitely less likely to make your head actually catch fire.

• I am in no way implying that your plans are this silly. It's just that I find myself adding elements to the stress bundle that could be left til later. Or in some cases,never.

lorry Twat Fat Lying Moonface is so funny I had to read your post out. Which,as I was at the office,sort of gave away the fact that I wasn't working,so have been looking busy and acheiving fuck all ever since.

And yes my dirty pillows are still very hurty. But my tummy and lower back area keep mumbling about shonky robots.

Of course,given the amount of painkillers and antibiotics I have swallowed in past week,the law of sod may win me a baybee. A nice little glow in the dark baybee. Also I have to go to my brother's wedding in Moscow on bank hol (!) and it appears I may be evicted from the country if I don't down shots of vodka from dawn til dusk...

Oh and stewie when you get it,just say 'ah!' not a guess at the name. Which will be clear now innit.

Also also also ALSO....

Good to see you,lovelylurkingwildthing

...god I am turning into one of those sad old crazies that sit in a corner talking to themselves when everyone else has buggered off...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

Thank you.

Gin I just snorted out loud at that.

Fuck. FUCK! Fuck I too have been taking EPO all the time. For about 479 years. I don't even reall know when I ov any more thanks to Clomid.

See, I really can't be trusted with a baybee, can I?

Glad to have made you chortle with Twat Fat Lying Moonface. I'm biding my time, but I will expose him for the arse-wipe he is. Oh yes. If for no other reason it gives me sommat else to menkal about.

LooooobyLou don't panic. It's only one of those very theoretical things I think.

Stewpot I see the penny has dropped. Does anyone remember Stewpot from Grange Hill? This could open a whole host of variations on a theme of other Grange Hill nicknames. I'm going to call you Tucker.

don't steam engines go psht-ti-coo, psht-ti-coo, psht-ti-coo?

[shows age. gets back in toybox with Hamble and Professor Yaffle]

Hamble!!!! Hamble and Jemima, Big Ted, Little Ted and Humpty! Professor Yaffle, the Mice, what was the doll in the chair called? Bod, Farmer Barleymow, PC Plod.

Kids' tv nowadays is crap.

alsoalsoalsoalsoalso hello back, gin. I haven't really abandoned the Palace, but only drop in to MN sporadically as the whole babyfail shiz is making me very sad, esp as so many friends are now on #2 and #3, and circs mean we've more or less given up for the time being. MIL accused me of failing to take a "normal" interest in SIL's pregnancy; regret to say she got both barrels of my BESH AK47.

Still keeping my fingers and toes crossed for everyone else, tho'! And have left Chris Addison in the Pit.

the doll in the chair was Madeleine. We need a chocolate biscuit machine!

Which window shall we go through today?

Sorry, crosspost there, sorry things aren't looking good for you figgy. Sounds like MIL entirely deserved the BESHfire.

at MIL's insensitivity. Not surprised she copped it with an AK47.

Through the round window today I think...

When I say both barrels, I mean I made myself cry and - I think - her too. She actually said, 'I can't believe DP isn't more excited about being an uncle!'. To which I said, 'Yes, but he'd rather be a dad (you stupid woman)'.

I didn't say the last bit. I just made it very clear using the power of Icy Delivery.

And then, because I was spoiling for a fight and quite hormonal, I gave her the full BESH monologue, which was so tragic and moving that I understand RADA will be using it for their final year students instead of Ophelia's mad scene from Hamlet.

My own mum was a trail-blazing 70s BESH, so she gets the self-loathing madness of it all; MIL had both her kids before she was 24, and doesn't. It's coming to something when your father is more able to empathise with your DP than his own mother, ffs.

Sigh. Anyway. Thanks for the sympathy, gals - it's good to know there's a place where everybody knows your pain, as they didn't say on Cheers. I'll be chucking my MIL through the Very Small window, please, Brian (Cant).

Big bearhugs to FiggyTheEngine. I wish there was something I could do or say (other than nutting your MIL.) have started lots of sentences in my head but they are all rubbish. Wishing you many good things laydee.

Strangely timed x-post,figpuss