Continuing conceptions and follicling ahead of Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings

[rowingboat]

Hello world!

So sorry Hippy, i was sure this was your month, but won't be long till you are pg, it really won't (though of course it feels like forever). Big hug.

Morning all, well a week ago I posted the unbelievable news of my BFP - too excited too soon, started bleeding yesterday morning, all symptoms gone and sat up all night crying for what isn't to be think I passed first thing this morning - sorry if TMI....so unlike last year when I didn't tell anyone, this time I thought I would tell everyone - now I have got the lovely task of letting everyone know.
I really don't know what to do now, obviously I can still conceive naturally, but whether it's a random coincidence that I've MC 2 in a row, or if it is my egg quality I don't know. Will see acupuncture man next week and see what he thinks, but I am fit and healthy just so bloody ancient!! So, back here to carry on in the adventures of conception, not going to hang around the MC boards as even tho I think a couple of you have said they are so supportive, but i can see myself staying there forever if that makes sense...sorry rambling now.
Off to shops to treat myself, hope everyone having a good BH.
Hippy next month could be your month - never give up!

Oh Genghis I am so, so sorry I don't 'know' you very well, but have been following your news and sadly do know how you must be feeling - what a horrible shock, not to mention the obvious deep sadness. I don't really have any advice other than the assurance that you will get through this, and that obviously you can conceive and will be pregnant again soon if that it what you want. I'm sure others will be along soon, with more relevant comments; really hope you're ok (well, as ok as anyone can be) xx

Hi all,
Ghengis I'm so sorry this hasn't worked this time. As you say, you can conceive, I think it gets more difficult as you get older,but in a horrible way the odds are more in your favour if you are looking for that 'good' egg, surely the next one will be the one that stays.
You do sound very positive, but must feel so let-down. Take it easy and enjoy the shops.

Hippy I don't blame you for being confused at my elaborate plans. I'm a bit of a researcher/planner.
We have three frozen embryos at our local IVF clinic and I am hoping my cycle will be back to normal this time allowing me to go for a natural transfer (without drugs).
The clinic gets you in for scans to check the endometrium and takes bloods to check hormone levels then about two/three days after ovulation they defrost the embryos and, if any survive, the put them back in. That's it really.
We also have four frozen embryos in Europe, where we did IVF this time last year. So I will probably go alone for transfer there if the UK embies don't take.
We have a plan C, which is to go for a donated embryo in Europe, which would be a bit like adoption since neither I nor DP would have any genetic 'input' into the embies. That would be wacky because you really wouldn't have a clue what the babies would look like until they arrived. I know it is like that for your own, but this would add another dimension.

Gum Charlie knows what he wants doesn't he. How are his teeth coming along?

Hairy I agree it is good to know whether you had 'something' even a CP. It's a good sign if sperm met egg, keeps you going.

CD25 for me. DS is off because the school is being used for polling (not sure what for today). It's run day, so will go out later for week 2 of the couch to 5k. If I make week three that will be the first time ever.

Genghis, I'm so very, very sorry . I know how awful it feels and what a rollercoaster it is. Glad you're treating yourself, take your time with the decisions.

ghengis I'm really sorry for you. I've had 2 in a row now and am worried my advancing years are the culprit. (have had 4 altogether but 2 in succession)

We can do it, we must believe that.

hugs for you today though.

ghengis so sorry to hear this news, I am in the same boat (ish) although it was my first pregnancy, first mc, only knew I had a bfp for 12 hours. I'm also ancient, at forty two.

Sending you big hugs and lots of luck for next time.

liahgen66 and ghengis - We CAN do it, we just have to be positive and look after ourselves, and keep a positive attitude, if we can.

I guess it's easy for me to say as I'm not really on a 'rollercoaster' - life circumstances have changed dramatically for me in the last year, ie: out of a bad relationship, where partner didn't want kids, so I see my new relationship and new life with a man who really does want them, as a bonus, and it's a double bonus that I've at least conceived.

So easy for me to say 'be positive' I know when I haven't (yet) had any rollercoaster moments (excpet briefly in the last few days).

xx

ah thank you all for your kind thoughts, made it round the shops without blubbing at the sight of every pram/bump. Now proud owner of a good new book (looks a load of rubbish but who cares) and a lush pair of White Stuff flip-flops in anticipation that the weather will improve. One day. Or if not, they are to be worn on our holiday that we're now going to have because it won't be the same time as the nuchal.
have told my 2 RL BFs, off round to have a rainy barbecue now and my first drink in a month!
The feisty ladies will triumph......! xx

ghenghis - sorry to hear you have m/c again, but I am pleased that you are still feeling quite positive about things. Well done on the retail therapy and hope the rainy barbecue goes well.

hariy - good to hear you in positive spirits too!

Rowing you seem so organised with your plans, hope everything works out on plan A. Hope the running works out too!

gum - With your night out with uni friends - is there any other option, eg take one of your older children with you and your 20 month old, and they babysit for you in the room where you are staying for the night out? Just trying to think laterally for you!

Hope everyone else is doing ok on this bank holiday weekend.

Sorry to hear the sad news for you feisty ladies, Ghengis and Hairy.

Oh Ghengis, I am sorry to hear your news. I'm glad you were able to have some retail therapy. Hope those preg hormones will get you preg again really soon.

Rainbow I didn't really think to take an older sibling. It's actually quite a good idea. It is a weekend away at my friend's farm - hence the 5 hour drive! I don't really mind taking Charlie, but he isn't a very good traveller unfortunately.Being in the car that long might drive us both insane! There is the option of flying to Perth then hiring a car to drive the hour to her farm. That would be the best as the flight is only an hour.However finances are tight and that's a pricey option. If I get a decent tax return I might just do it! Will think on it.

Rowing I admire you - running 5 kms! I wish I could do it, but my dodgy knees just aren't up to running these days.I'll stick to walking and yoga- very gentle!

I'm interested to hear what your acupuncturist ha to say Ghengis.

My LO just woke up (it's 6 am here) so must dash.

ghenghismaam and Hairytriangle so sorry at your sad news.

genghis I'm so sorry to hear your news. It is just so totally pants isn't it.

I seem to be having the period from hell at the moment. Headaches mostly but also I am just sooo emotional. I nearly blubbed at the school just now.

Can't really put my finger on it, except that i keep thinking that I should be 20+ weeks pregnant now and people should be rubbing my belly and asking how it's all going and instead I'm having a fecking period!

Sorry to rant, I know that is absolutely no help at all to those of you who had recent MC's and I don't feel like this all the time (honest - I'm usually ok about it). I think I just have far to many hormones flouting about - hope it's not that bloody cream .

Anyway, am blubbing again now and have decided to call in sick at work. There are 2 ladies at work who are almost exactly the same number of weeks pregnant as I would have been and I can't cope with looking at them right now.

Sorry not to name check everyone. I'll be back when I'm less and have a proper chart. xx

Oh Hippy it absolutely sucks to see other people who are around the same doesn't it - to add to my fun I've just been told yet another person in my road is 8 weeks with her 4th. So that is every childbearing age woman out of 50 or so houses, apart from me & 1 other who has got pregnant since the houses were built 3 years ago. FFS where's mine!
Maybe I should move rather than having to confront it every time I walk out the door
Gum have acup on Thurs pm will post then.
I seem to have almost stopped bleeding, don't know if that's normal or not...did anyone who has had MC do a preg test a few day later to check?
Rowing good on you for the running, I'm hoping to start power walking again when I'm ready -it all helps?

Hippy I do feel for you - it must be incredibly hard working in that situation - hopefully a bit of time away will help xx
Genghis re: testing after a mc, I got a faint positive 3 weeks after mine and it was only after my first proper post-mc period (about 3 weeks after that) that I got a neg.
I was thinking about this thread last night and something my consultant said last year. I was asking about fertility post-40s and he said that for 50% of women, they do struggle to get pregnant, but in his experience 'get there in the end', but for the other 50% their fertility is 'as it is for women in their 20s'. So hope for all of us!

ghenghis - yes you should do a pregnancy test in a few days to check that it goes negative. There are a few reasons, firstly to check that you have actually miscarried and not just had a bleed, the second is to check that there is no retained material (sorry that sounds horrible, and at the early stage that you were at is very unlikely), and finally in case you get pregnant again immediately with no period in between, at least you know it is a new pregnancy and not something from the old one. It is hard to do it and it seems strange hoping for a negative test so that you can start thinking ahead to another pregnancy. As for the bleeding, with a m/c it can be a bit stop/start, which is not easy and it can delay next ovulation and period too. The recommended is that you do a preganncy two weeks after the start of an early miscarriage. But if you have the cheapy tests, if it was me I would be doing one now to see if it is negative yet or not. Every m/c is different and so it is hard to know if you will bleed more or not, some of my m/c I bleed less than a normal af. Hope this helps?

I am now in the 2ww, and wondering whether to take my progesterone suppositories that are sitting on the bathroom shelf or not.... I know I said that I would not do anything this time, but..... hey-ho. What do you all think, should I use up the progesterone or stick with my original plan?

Hi all,

Rainbow thank's for all the info about testing. I will probably have lots of follow up here in the UK, but if I need to go abroad I'll be on my own. You do need to be careful don't you! I know of one woman who had an ectopic, which is the last thing anyone needs.

Gum what is up with your knees? Did you used to run? I'm just thinking about your ear and the surfing, you sound like a (ex?)sport's chick.
Funnily, I do feel one of my knees has a slightly uncomfortable feeling at the side when I run or stand in certain way. I am just being careful because I have this notion that running will 'toughen' it up, and I am out of shape. Hope that's right.

Ghengis I'm pleased you held it together and nice flip-flops too, well done! Sounds like you do need to keep testing to be ready for next pg.

Hippy, poor you. Blooming hormones, not helping at all.
Funnily I was feeling a bit weepy (PMS!!) at school because a lot of our friends will be going to a different school and I feel I have let-down DS a bit. Which is daft really.

Deige what a nice encouraging doctor. Unlike like Ghengis's 'impossible to conceive over 40' doctor.

Kiwi nice to hear from you. You must be exhausted at the moment. How are you getting on at work?

Hi to Lia and Hairy.

CD 26 today so AF tomorrow or Thursday.....

Hello again,
I've been away, obsessing, Hippy I totally get where you are. AF is late, mother nature havin her quiet laugh, and so I tested again like an idiot and another BFFN Given the first month of TTC was such a rollercoaster, I'll be a wreck very soon

Italian you're starting out on an amazing journey, I've heard so many happy stories of adoption, and 6 months is a really long wait but think of the happy little person you'll have with you at the end of it all!

Hello to Stinkyp and Liah and pollyanna and others I haven't yet "met"

(...still catching up... reading...)

Back. Been doing unreasonable amounts of housework to bring on the darned AF. Want to get it over with and start new cycle . Lots of crashing and banging about until then... and binging on jam tarts...

ghengis Sorry to hear yr news if it helps, my MC was only really "complete" on day(s) of next AF. Can the early pregnancy unit at your hospital check for you? Here's to returning to TTC again soon...

Hippy I still get mailouts from baby product companies I signed up for last year, the worst was getting the "Now you're ready to start weaning" mailout for when lil' bean would have been 4 months - I know, I've unsubscribed from as many as possible

Off to hug DD1 again (she's starting to wriggle away now going "Okaaaayy Mummy")...

Ooh hello forgot about this thread is it ok for me to come back please?

Hi all,
DSL that is hard, all the mailings. I'm sorry you are having to go through this and feel sad. It is a very hard process, but at least we all completely understand.
Laughing about your DD saying 'Okaaaaaay Mummy'. I ask my DS to give me a hug every so often or he would go for a whole day without (until bedtime).

Genghis, so sorry. Good luck with ttc again. FWIW I would test again in a few days. My doc did a scan to make sure my mc was complete (and of course my beta was only 9) but if she hadn't, I would have tested.

I have been lurking so am keeping up. Hope things go well Italian. Sorry it's been a bit shit hippy

Waving to all.

doubleshot had no idea housework could bring on AF. If that really is true then i should hardly ever have a period cos i'm a lazy old Hippy .

Hope you are soon back on track with TTCing. How awful about the mailouts. I nearly filled in the bounty pack thing and then decided to wait - phew so glad I did. Who needs fecking reminders in the post all the time .

genghis Thinking of you. Sorry if I wasn't very helpful earlier - I think my mini meltdown is over - for now!!!! When i had my MC, I tested again to see a negative and I think it was about 2 weeks after my EPRC. It's horrid to see the negative but it is a necessary.

rainbowdays I don't know what to say about the pessaries, do you have a feeling that you could be successful this month. eg. did you get the troops in place and did you have definite signs of ovulation. If both of these are a yes, then i think I would do it - but having said that it has to feel right for you. You are a very brave lady .

italian someone told me Sandra Bullock was adopting a baby. Ask her where she's buying adopting hers from . It's one rule for them and another for us normal people.

Hi there. Is there room for another on this thread please?