Assisted Conception (and the bits in between) Volume 5

[Bumpless]

Thought I'd set us up a new home! kettle's on and choc tin open.

This is a lucky start to our new thread: 2 BFPs and a fantastic fertilisation rate from Dueling!

Boobs and biscuits to everyone

Just finished watching 'The Day the Earth Stood Still' with Keanu Reeves, just glad the world is not being destroyed by some sort of nanobot fly!

Hello, all. Sorry I haven't been around. I've been reading but feeling a bit crap, tbh, and not up to responding to people.

Will try to be a bit better about coming to chat now that I feel a bit more on an even keel.

Welcome to all newbies, just wanted to say that I personally found IVF nowhere near as bad as I'd thought it might be.

Re injection tips, the only thing I can recommend is to just steel yourself and do it. The first time is frightening. It gets exponentially easier every time after that, I promise. And I was shit scared of the injections but ultimately found them relatively easy.

I think I might be just trying to come to terms with DD being an only child. We'll try again but I don't hold out much hope, tbh. Sorry, I know that sounds v spoilt to those who don't have one child yet.

Love to all of you and I plan to be a better thread member from now on!

Evening everyone. Thank you all for your kind words.

MM Hope all is OK and your blood results are better.

BabyB Well done for getting those first few injections out of the way. Sounds like your DH is getting quite professional. I felt very headachy and a bit PMTish when I was stimming. I had only 10 or 11 days of injections. Looking back the whole thing didn't take that long. Hope those follicles are growing.

Italian Nice to "speak" to you again. I hope you are doing ok. Glad you are talking things through with your DH. It's so hard though isn't it? I've had a big cry all over a friend this weekend and a talk to my DH which has helped a little. Next I need to make a follow up appointment.

Idream Hello again. Reading your post I thought I might be reading my own!! We seem to be in a similar frame of mind! I suspect I am a bit depressed too. I even want to move house at the moment just because I always imagined us having a child here. I'm sorry you feel so flat but you are not alone.

Horton Good to hear from you as well. I'm sure everyone on here understands the need to have a break from it all at times. I feel like I have not been a very good thread member too but the reality is that sometimes the sadness that fertility problems causes can be too hard to deal with and at other times we just need to talk.

Welcome to Loujalou and Vadercat and all others who are new to the thread. I would agree that the physical process of IVF is not as bad as I thought. The logistics of getting to scans, getting off work for Egg collection etc can be a challenge but the hardest part of all is by far the emotional part and that is why this thread is so helpful. It's one of those things that it really helps to talk to people who know exactly what you are going through. I hope you find some support and help here. Loujalou I am not an expert on sperm but I think that the total number of sperm per ml in your DHs sample is ok. The motility is not too bad but the number of normal forms is a bit low. I would get the second sample result and ask for your GP to advise. If you have been trying for a year you should be referred to a clinic I think. You might still get lucky in the meantime but as things take a while it's good to get the process started in case.

Well I'm off to bed now. I am concentrating on trying to make a positive plan and on my DH who puts up with me and my moods!!!

my DH who puts up with me and my moods

Yes, I've got one of those, too. They are worth their weight in gold.

Thanks ginger, nice to know you understand.

I think you are supposed to do the injections in the evenings, BB, not sure why. Did the clinic not tell you when to do them? You will probably be injecting every day until the day before EC.

Good evening ladies!

Penguin was your ET today? If so, how did it go?

Horton, Gingerwine and Idream I wish there was something I could do or say to make you feel better. Just remember that you're entitled to feel sad, but that you won't feel this sad forever. Big hugs to you all.

BabyB I'm on Gonal-F at the moment, too. It makes me feel pretty miserable, but its mainly just bloating, moodiness and utter fatigue more than anything else. I've also had a reoccuring migraine headache since I started on the stims, although it thankfully seems to be fading.

I do my injections in the morning - at the suggestion of my clinic. It looks like different clinics do it differently, though, since Horton says she was told to do it in the evening. When I inject doesn't seem to have any impact on how I feel - although you might be different. If its really bad, I'd speak to your clinic as they may need to adjust the dosage.

Italian I can sympathise with the stress this puts on relationships. My DH has returned from Oz (to be here for the EC and ET, whenever they may be) and I do feel like he has no idea what I'm going through. I'm sure he thinks and worries about it too - but I doubt its as much as me.

Its the one thing that surprised me about the new Zita West book. She has a section on the impact of TTC on relationships, but it is incredibly brief and just states the obvious. In my opinion, it seems like one of the hardest parts! Its so emotionally charged, hormonal, challenging our whole idea of how our lives will be, and so much of the onus is put on us, whereas the guys end up with pretty much a cameo role - no wonder both sides end up feeling alienated, frustrated and misunderstood!

Egads, sorry for the rant! As for my update -I think I've had my blood tested and my ovaries scanned about a million times since my last post. Nothing new to report - still on the stims and another scan on Wednesday.

Was told that its likely I'll stay on stims til Friday with the EC next Monday (pretty much the same as you, BabyB). Seems awfully slow - I've already been on the stims for 7 days and at the scan today they found 12 follicles (so at least we're going in the right direction).

I'm finding this part of the process really stressful because I'm going to have to miss some work for the EC and ET, but won't know the dates until the last moment. Although I've resigned, there is the potential to work for my company when I'm in Oz, so I don't want them to know I'm trying to get pg. Debating if I just pull sick days (at least for the EC) or if I should tell my boss (a not terribly enlightened man) that I've got some medical things going on (and hope he is too embarassed to ask for details). Any suggestions?

Right, better go get some dinner. Waves and chocolate buttons to you all....

Hi all, not been around much I'm afraid as things have been up and down. I had a second scan and I am confirmed with twins (for newbies who don't know I had a failed IVF and then tried Clomid and IUI whilst waiting to lose enough weight for a second IVF - madly it worked!). I have had some bleeding and everyone is keen to tell me how early days it is so I wont get excited until 12 weeks - I am 8 weeks now.For now it is a thread success even with hideous stats. I kept a prayer to St Gerard under my pillow (patron saint of expectant mothers) which was blessed by our priest. I wonder if that helped? My sister also had one after suffering 4 miscarriages and gave birth to her little boy on Sunday.I am going to scuttle off now to my world of knicker checking. Best fertile wishes to everyone and good luck x

Hello all, and thanks for asking about me Italian. I am back from the world of exams, family visiting, etc. We are still waiting for our first appointment at the FC, July 22nd. Was it Vadercat who is new here, like me, with male factor issues?

I wanted to ask: someone mentioned going private, is that a possibility at any hospital? We are in London and have an appointment at the UCH which I think is meant to be really good. The wait from GP referral isn't too long, about 1.5 months. No idea how long the next bit will take.

Mo I have never heard of antenatal depression. I am glad you are feeling better though. I think I can totally sympathise, though I have never been pregnant! It's just that somehow I can imagine the circumstances. While I would like a child, and especially one with my DH, the idea of growing it inside of me does not fill me with joy. I know this is opposite to some women, but I can't help it.

Thanks for all the answers and support everyone and I will be around now the exams are over!

all hi, hope all are OK.

MountTheFairy hi, still waiting to hear where your weird name comes from!

Amberc a million congratulations. I am so pleased for you; please God may your success at getting pregers after losing weight spur me on! What method of weight loss did you use? Around here there is a hugely popular Slimming World club and people are shedding pounds BUT I am not keen to join as I resent the £5 fee a week (mean old me) and I also feel, well, confused at how it all works. I was a Weight Watchers girl and that worked for me. BUT Then everything seems to work if you stick to it!

Penguin How goes it?

Chocobunny AKA Idream thinking of you and hope you are feeling better.

Likewise Horton and Gingerwine Yes, 100% all entitled to feel sad. It is a sad time and it is hard but I must say that a nice chirpy phone call with a lovely, dear friend has cheered me! She is single, no kids, would love to be married and have a family and makes me realise how lucky I am!!

Despite her call I am still feeling a little bit cr*p I think. I feel my choices are limited by money, if we had more money we could try more treatment! We are really only at the start of thinking about adoption. To be honest I am totally conflicted still! My DH does not want any more treatment and I did not want to wait anymore, but in Spain there is very little wait involved! It was the wait that was putting me off!

Horton I agree 'I think I might be just trying to come to terms with DD being an only child.? Feeling quite unsure whether adoption will be our route. Just not sure if I am strong enough for it all. I keep dreaming of flying off to Spain for more treatment! Crazy, we can't afford it. So hard to finally put this TTC thing to rest!

Hi - is it ok if I join here... just been reading some posts and thrilled to read of your twins at this stage amberc'.

Have been ttc#1 for over 2years, though in reality not used contraception for 6 .. been through NHS testing to discover problems with us both - dh has low sperm count and very poor motility and I don't seem to ovulate. This has taken 7mths - now a 3rd SA and a HSG for me, then hopefully they will give us a treatment plan. The dr we saw last said assisted fertility needed - well, sort of worked that out. Am nearly 35, so nervous.

Italian - it was weightwatchers - I lost 18lbs! I got a monthly pass and went every week tp be weighed but did most online. Highly recommended - good luck!!

Hi gang. Just wanted to check in and say hi. Still miserably sore, trying to rest, and taking as few pain meds as I can, although the last few days I've taken codeine in the morning and the evening for relief. I've been especially sad over the last few days about losing the baby, but DH has been really stepping up his game over the last few weeks, and our communication has really improved. We've made an appt at FC for the middle of August, but have decided to wait until at least Sept. or Oct. to start second cycle, as we want to make absolutely sure my cervix has healed up.

Italian--Sorry to hear you've been feeling crap. Everything will work out, there's always a way!

Mount--UCH is VERY good. In fact, I was planning to do ante-natal care there before my m/c, and the consultant who is taking care of my cervical mess is based there as well. He was telling me that there's a way to get a free cycle there, but he didn't go into detail.

Amber--Wishing and hoping for you, sweetie. Good luck!

MM--Hang in there, sister! All will be well...

Lissy sorry to hear about your loss. Thank you for the tips re. UCH.

Italian I was given my name by a lovely old mumsnetter who seems to have dissapeared. I still keep it though. She was cool, I miss her!

Thanks for the kind welcome. We are going to docs on Thursday so all will revealed.

Hello guys - am getting really impatient now, not supposed to test until Saturday but really want to. I am being good though as I did test early for IUI and it was negative so I think it would be bad luck to do it before. I'm not really feeling pg and this seems to add to the negative thoughts, did anyone else after IVF? My have gotten bigger but they did with IUI due to the progesterone so I am completely lost now! On the plus side DH asked if he could be there for the test, up until now he has seemed not too interested so fingers crossed it works!

Amberc congratulations sending some sticky dust to keep them there, how exciting twins!!

Italian I used the online Tesco diet and lost 7lb before IVF. I was really pissed off after my IUI and put on some weight so I really wanted to shift some before IVF. It was really good and had lots of good recipes!

Keizi Welcome to the group you'll find all the answers here and how to get the best treatment as we've been through virtually
everything between us!

mm am thinking of you, hope all the stims work. I've completely given up on Zita can you believe she says try not to bd for the first 12 weeks of pg!!! After not being able to have a normal life through IVF this can't be right surely?

Anyway - am off to overeat and try not to test for the next three days and try and be positive. I'll let you know either way

LissySilver so sorry for you. I am really thinking of you at this moment and hope DH is looking after you like the precious jewel you are. (Oh, and how do you get a free cycle at UCH ? does it in involve being a guinea pig!)

Keziahhopes Welcome. Hope your stay on here is short and sweet!

Amber I am counting calories, it is actually quite easy! I got weighed at work as my colleague is running a weight loss club. Whoever loses the most gets 50% back of the total and the other 50% goes to charity. Great idea. I do feel EMPOWERED!!

Loujalou Good luck for Thursday. Do you mean tomorrow or next week?

Poppy75 hang on in there, test when you are meant to and you will probably find it easier to do! Well, that?s what I think! I stumbled onto the Tesco weight loss thing today by accident. Is there anything Tesco doesn?t do! I am doing it myself (see post to Amber) but with help from work colleague who lost 4 and a half stone!

*Chocbunny thinking of you.

Frosticle are you still around?

Bumpless how is it going?

Hugs and waves to all.

Told DH tonight I need a break to think things through and not think about adoption too soon. I am not sure I have really grieved the whole fertility thing yet and still have dreams of doing one more attempt. I know DH not AT ALL keen on fertility treatment so we will just see. I feel I just need to get fit, get sorted at home, get DD's naughty behaviour sorted and then look to the future!

Love to all.

Hi everyone!

Just a quick post to say that after a week of being scanned and blood tested nearly every day, I'm finally going for EC tomorrow! Hurrah!

That said, DH and I are committed to a dinner party tonight (its thrown in our honour, so we can't exactly fail to appear) and we have to be at the clinic by 7am tomorrow... Urgh. Still, I suppose it is better than staying at home and worrying all night.

Last scan showed 11-13 follicles of a decent size, so fingers crossed. I'm still terrified, though.

Anyway, apologies for this being entirely me-centred, but have to get ready for this dinner before DD arrives home. So bloated that I'm not sure what will fit me tonight...

Waves to everyone and welcome to the newcomers!

Mega quickly - internet has been up in no more than 5 min bursts for the last 8 days

Popsicles went back on Monday. Had week from hell with stress, no sleep and general angst so have mentally written the poor little scraps off already . Fortunately am off on holiday tomorrow so at least a chance to relax if they haven't already given up the struggle.

MM, good luck! Will be rooting for you.

Amberc what fab news

Hello to all, sorry to post and run but don't want to lose it when it all crashes again!

Thanks all for welcome - have now read all 24 pages!

MM--YAY for EC! I'm rooting for you, my American friend!

Penguin--Hope you have a nice relaxing holiday.

I'm heading out next Wednesday, but in the meantime, I've been diagnosed with an infection from the cone biopsy, which explains why the pain is so intense. A little worried that it's going to mess with things "down there", but all will be revealed on Tuesday. Of course, every other woman that I see on the streets is p/g, which is making me not want to leave my house. (Trying to stop the vein in my forehead from throbbing.)

Virtual hugs and kisses to all those still waiting to hear. All will be well!

MM Go go go! Good luck for tomorrow.

Penguin enjoy your hols

All the best to all Chocbunny, Isle, Lissysilver, Ginger, Horton, Keziahhopes, Mountthefairy, vadercat and all.

I am half and half ready to move on. Which is why we are not doing anything yet. The County Council adoption services say we must wait 6 months before proceeding and I was a bit sad we had to wait but now I can really see it was right to make us wait. I know now that I would like another go but DH does not and it is very expensive so not sure we can afford it. I am torn between Spain, where there is no wait, and the UK where we would be waiting about 10 months.

We will see what happens.

Off on hols for just over a week so will check back in in about 10 days.

Waves and hugs and choc boobs to all

Have a great hol Italian! BTW, what do you gals mean by being able to get a free cycle? I thought everyone gets 2 cycles free on the NHS? I am obvously new to this...

Kezia, I just turned 33 and the GP praised me for starting in good time and that I was very young. I was surprised by this (as my mother has been nagging me for years that I was leaving it late...), but you are not that much older than me, and 7 months ahead on the NHS route so no reason to panic! I think... and my hubby is 43! (Ok, more reason to panic there...)

MountTheFairy - yes we are at a similar stage - I will soon be 35 and my dh has poor swimmers too! But the age issue is apparently more with females, not males - so try not to worry about that. I am kicking myself for not going to the dr last year now, as we have had 3mth waits for everything. Go again 29th July, when hopefully all the tests will be done - HSG for me, 3rd SA for dh (he had bloods done now).

MTF - where I live they have chosen to only give one free IVF/ICSI - each area can choose up to 3 max, so if you get 2 that is great!! But before IVF etc they can offer clomid and IUI.

Thanks Kezia, that helps. Yes, I am waiting to see which way they go. The GP thought that if I am all clear they may opt for IUI. But that was just a GP. She also thought I was diabetic because I am overweight, although blood tests at their surgery have confirmed many times that I am nowhere close! Apparently thought, I do have to loose weight because FC won't do anything unless I am at perfect BMI.

After you had your first appointment at the FC, how long did it take to do all the tests?