Assisted Conception (and the bits in between) Volume 5

[Bumpless]

Thought I'd set us up a new home! kettle's on and choc tin open.

This is a lucky start to our new thread: 2 BFPs and a fantastic fertilisation rate from Dueling!

Boobs and biscuits to everyone

Good evening ladies!

Lissy I'm sorry that you had a tough weekend. As Cerubina says, it is all completely normal and its probably a good thing to give yourself some time to grieve. And its awful that you have to wait so long for an ERPC. Please be kind to yourself!

Vics a good place to start to come to grips with all the terminology and processes is to read "Zita West's Guide to Fertility and Assisted Conception". The book is very good at outlining the whole IVF process, the various drugs and protocols, etc as well as how you can help prepare yourself for the whole process.

Cerubina since we're trying to organise this cycle around my husband working abroad and our relocation to Oz, I can sympathise with the feeling that your body won't cooperate and conform to schedule! Afraid I don't have any brilliant suggestions... perhaps jump up and down a lot?

As for me, down-regging is going well. I've been listening to my hypnotherapy CD in bed every night (although I haven't stayed awake to hear it the whole way through yet). I tend to down-reg well (there's something to put on a CV!) so expect I'll be doing it for 2 weeks as planned before moving on to the stims.

Waves to everyone - and wishes that this week goes quickly...

This thread is moving so slowly! It's nice that not many people are needing AC at the moment but it feels weird to be only at 502 posts after 2.5 months - on the Twisluts thread we managed 750 in 4 days!!

Cerubina, doing a HPT always seems to work for me! Or talking to Guy's and them telling me I might have to cancel the cycle if it didn't start soon - kick started things an hour later, I'm not kidding!

MM, glad things have started well. How's the move working out?

BB, glad your husband eventually, em, rose to the occasion. When do things get underway now?

I have my scan on the 10th to check the lining and then hopefully the transfer will be the following week.

So far this cycle I have been drinking (alcohol/coffee/anything); not doing acupuncture/hypotherapy/reflexology etc; taking antibiotics; not reading Zita West; getting stressed; not eating Brazil nuts or pineapple - and generally throwing the rule book out the window, so am quietly optimistic!

Thanks, all, for advice and kind words. ERPC scheduled for Friday (finally!), and will get results from smear tomorrow. Will almost definitely be scheduled for cone biopsy. I'm feeling a bit better all around, having realized that M/C's are nature's way of telling you that it's just not right. The procedure on Friday will definitely be the closer I need it to be. I can concentrate on getting healthy now...

Sending sticky and positive vibes to all those stimming, down-regging, boinking, etc...

Hello guys had a really relaxing weekend and now can't wait until Friday when I have a scan and blood test to see how the stimulation drugs have done! Am relaxed but don't have any discomfort or problems is this normal???

Welcome LissySilver my heart goes out to you, you have been through so much in the last few weeks! I fell pg naturally 4 years ago and mc at 10 weeks, had to have an ERPC as didn't completely mc. At first I was ok really strong but over time have been through a complete roller coaster. So don't think it strange if one day you are good and the next a complete mess (you may not). At least you can get the rest of treatment sorted and then start again with less worry (hopefully), it completely sucks what some people have to go through. Bigs hugs to you, at least you can come to MN when you need some support

Vics welcome to the thread, sorry to hear your story. I'm currently midway through my first cycle of IVF.

Cerubina I have cut down the sprays to one twice a day, but had a killer throat early this week, luckily I think it has settled down again. Fingers crossed for the scan on Friday

MM good luck with your down-regging, we could fill our CV's with our new skills! I never thought as a kid I could list self-injecting hormones as something I'm good at!

Just-shaggy It is such a tough process to find out just how much you are entitled to. I went onto the PCT websites and checked the entitlements. I don't understand how it will take two weeks for your GP to find out if you are able to be funded. Good luck

Another pregnancy announcement in my face today. Just felt crushed. It's never my turn, always someone else's, and they've always just managed it with no problems.

I have nothing useful to add, just wanted to share this and rant about HOW FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING UNFAIR THIS ALL IS.

Hello, all. Sorry, haven't been around much as have been feeling a bit fragile. I thought I'd come to terms with it but it turns out I haven't at all. I feel very angry.

I'd like to add my voice to yours, Cerubina; this is SO FUCKING UNFAIR AND SHITTY. I sometimes wish you could just press a button and be pregnant, with magic, just like that. I'd probably have ten by now and be completely insane, though.

Oh Cerubina how awful for you. I've got nothing useful to add, other than it is fucking unfair! I know its easy to say and hard to believe, but you've got a great chance that your time will come with this upcoming cycle. They know what has caused your MCs - and more importantly, they can treat it. And as expensive and unpleasant as ICSI can be, it does work. Not all the time, but it does work - which means it can work for you.

So, big hugs and don't let them get you down!

Lissy - big hugs to you to for your ERPC tomorrow. Be kind to yourself and make sure you and your DH take it easy this weekend.

Poppy - good luck to you tomorrow for your scan and blood test. Hope the stims are doing their job and you've got lots of lovely fat follicles! Let us know how it goes.

Penguin - I agree, the thread is much quieter than it has been in the past (although that probably just reflects how long I've been lurking here ). Must admit that I'm glad we're not going at a rate of 750 posts each 4 days though - I can hardly keep track as it is! I like your 'break all the rules' attitude. I'm sure Saint Zita would frown, but do what you need to. At the end of the day, I don't think a cycle's success comes down to the number of Brazil nuts you've eaten. If only it did, life would be so much easier! Good luck with your upcoming scan.

Justshaggy how's the research going? Any news from your GP on your eligibility yet?

After glibly declaring that I'm good at down-regging, I've been feeling really rotten all week with lots of bloating and tummy aches as well as a sore throat. Not sure if they're related to the down regging or not, but all the symptoms seem to coincide with starting the drugs. Anyone else have a similar reaction? Its not bad enough to call the clinic and I'm hoping my acupuncturist will be able to help tomorrow.

Just saying hello and how very very sorry I am that things didn't work out this time, Horton. Rubbish. Totally rubbish. Also sorry you've got all this going on, Cerubina - I know it's cold comfort at times like this, but it is good as MM says that things are moving and that you've had some answers, and no obstacles to things progressing. Thinking of you both.

Hope you're doing ok, Italian, and thanks for the good wishes. Getting AF is always a downer but you are sounding (characteristically!) positive about adoption which is great - some little one is going to be so inestimably lucky to have you.

All the very best with getting access to the treatment you deserve, shaggy - I know I'm only echoing what others have said but really sounds like you are deserving and should get a lot of what you need, at least, on the NHS. Fingers crossed.

Good luck, Penguin! I was not exactly a stickler for the rules, drinking a bit during down-regging and certainly never stopped caffeine (never mind all the other stuff) so as far as my completely anecdotal experience goes, it's not a bad policy to be a bit relaxed about all that stuff. (Not that I'm out of the woods yet by any means.)

I realize thinking about some of your enquiries that I am completely useless as I remember very little about the IVF now that I'm through it. But there certainly seemed to be ages with no scans at the beginning - I was surprised as there were a lot fewer than I expected overall.

Amberc - huge congrats! That's brilliant news. V. v. best for the next few weeks.

Babyb - well done you (and your DP, particularly) - so glad you can get going post-hols - and can both enjoy the holiday more no doubt too.

Hang in there poppy - all the best of luck.

So sorry to hear about your very very tough times, LissyS - can't believe what you've been through, and yet you're still sounding quite positive - an inspiration to us all. Very best of luck. And to Vics too - areally awful thing to go through. Hope you're both starting to feel a bit better (though I know easily said). This is a great community to be involved with at these times.

And finally, good luck, MM! It's all happening for you - all the best with the adventures. I felt pretty crappy down-regging, if it's any help - certainly bloating and I think I remember a stray sore throat coming from nowhere too. Felt better stimming, which I wasn't expecting, so hope you do too.

Phew! Sorry to anyone I've inadvertantly ignored. Don't want to go on at this point, and be as annoying as everyone else around being insensitive about their pregnancies - nothing much to report anyway. Scan on Tuesday so we'll see how things are. Paranoid periodically that I've stopped being P as I haven't felt sick etc. - did a test today (realizing the POAS madness never stops - or not for a good while, anyway!) and still ok for now, so thanking my lucky stars (and I do realize just how lucky).

Anyway, good wishes to you all - thinking of you in your various v. tough situations.

Hi all, I haven?t caught up with you all for a while.

I am sorry to hear sad news. I am just off for a swim with the family (my sis and her kids are here). So no time to comment on everyone personally, although, I agree, Horton, Cerubina and all totally unfair. Frustratingly so! I am sorry for all the disappointments, it is really hard at times.

No real news for us, just pobling along.

Just out of interest (and I just posted this on the other thread for 40s) what are your least favourite ways of receiving the news that a friend is pregnant?

Got a message recently where a friend had tried to get hold of me for days/weeks by phone so she could tell me the news first, prior to telling our other mutual friends. I had wondered why she kept calling and not leaving an actual message!

I must admit it made me feel rather bad, we chatted about my failed fertility treatment and our adoption desires and then she dropped her news (which I already suspected as I knew she was trying). It is weird, I know she really wanted to break it to me gently and be nice but being singled out as a special case needing to be told first just made me feel bad!

Thinking of you all!

LissySilver How are you today - I assume you've had your procedure?

So sorry to hear what you've been through and going through. I agree with MM - MCs are not easy to snap out of. I kept thinking I was over mine, but the next day would slump into a heap again. I do my very best not to think about them even now because my heart feels physically sore. Be very kind to yourself - you're going through a very touch time. x

Vics32 Would love to hear more about how IVF can bypass scarring. I don't think I have scarring, but I do have a fibroid that needs to possibly be by-passed. I was never sure why a fertility expert suggested IVF to me, and am now wondering if its for the reasons you've been given ......

Cerubina Can't you be excused from jury duty?

Horton and Cerubina I concur with all you say 100%!! xxx

MM I'm South African living in Britain and have to say the NHS is one MASSIVE mystery to me too.

Italiangreyhound - That's a really interesting question, and similar to my favourite mind-game ...'How to be sensitively pregnant'. I store up all my wounds and think, 'If I get PG, I'll never do that....' I keep reminding myself that I have some friends similar age who not only have no children but also don't have DHs or DPs. Of course, this is assuming I will be PG (and stay PG) one day ...........

Everyone on 'the programme' - I'm reading all your news about your cycles with the foreign lingo like 'down-regging', 'nasal sprays' 'stim' etc slightly going over my head, but I am really rooting for you all!

I've had a letter from the fertility clinic today in response to DHs GP's referral letter. I have to fill in a questionnaire and return it but the waiting list for an appointment is 12 weeks. That takes me just beyond the point where I was told we should be thinking about IVF so, although I wish it was sooner, maybe I should wait and just ttc normally until then rather than scrabble pennies together for private? Cr*p - I just wish I was three years younger!

One good thing is that the letter says I need to have tests - and they've told my GP this. So I am finally going to get a few extra tests done: FSH, LH and E2 (what is E2?). DH handing in his second sample yesterday so we wait to see if there's any improvement.

It's all quite a long-drawn out process, isn't it? I never knew I was 'old' until I started this.

Cerubina sorry I have only just read your post about jury service. DH had jury service which might have clashed with our treatment, we asked to have it deferred (I think I phoned up so I could get an answer straight away) and they juts postponed it for about 8 months. If you are able to postpone it then that would be very helpful. We did find out that the jury service did not start until 10.00 a.m. and most of the 'action' at our clinic seemed to take place at 8.30 a.m. However that was DH and you are even more critical to the whole thing! Let us know what you do. (Apologies if you already have).

Justshaggy your doc sounds useless (apologies) queuing for two days to get to see someone and then not! Please just stick with it. If the doctor/specialist said you should look into treatment and you are eligible for NHS then I would just keep pushing for it. Good luck.

Any news of Idreaminchoclate are you secretly lurking?

MM when is the move to Oz?

Penguinedreams are you going through another cycle with frozen embryos? I am afraid I ma have missed lots of news.

Levistubbstears Thanks for remembering me. All best wishes and hope all is going well with you.

Hello, to all the others I have not met yet. I am meant to be preparing for adoption but I can't stop thinking about fertility! My adorable sis is expecting and I am so happy for her, but I just wish we could be pregnant together! I just keep thinking what should I try next, anything. My periods are terrible and my poor DH gets the flack from me every month so I am taking Angus Castus, buying it today. Maybe that will produce something. I wonder what shape my eggs are in! Let's hope there is one good 'un left or that I can finally say goodbye to TTC!!!

Love to all

So sorry to hear that quite a few of you are feeling down - you were always so good at cheering me up when I was feeling tragic and miserable, I hope we get some good news on this thread to give everyone hope again.

Sending hugs to all.

Hello everyone - had my scan on Friday - not big enough! So am still stimulating and re-scanning tomorrow. Feeling quite sore and bloated so hopefully will be the right size. I have 5 on the left and 3 on the right (is enough???).

Cerubina It completely sucks when another one just happens to be PG, I work in a majority female department and found out another 2 were pregnant last week, both married last year so less than 6 months ttc. I sometimes wish they could even out the ttc and everyone have to do the same!Hang in there, I've perfected the smile and congrats look to a tee!

Italian not sure the best way to hear news, I think it is sweet when friends do think about it. One of my school friends had 2 and then decided to have another, she knew I've been ttc forever, so when we were due to meet up she texted to say she was 'fat again' and understood if I didn't feel up to seeing her. Very sweet

Sorry if I've not replied to all but have to get dinner out of oven, take care

Good evening ladies!

Afraid I can't do a total roll call tonight as I'm about to dash off to make dinner but:

Cerubina I hope you're feeling better! When are you off to Egypt anyway?

Horton I hope you're feeling better, too!

Italian its always lovely to hear from you. Regarding your question of 'least favourite ways', I had a similar situation where a friend singled me out as she knew I'd been ttc and then had a mc. At the time, I thought it was quite thoughtful. However, shortly afterwards, we went on holiday with her and several other friends - whom she'd also told by that time. It was awful sitting around every evening with friends teasing her about being pg - when all I could think was that it should have been me as well... Suppose there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to do it.

Lissy I hope Friday went as well as could be expected. Thinking of you!

Justshaggy - When I started on the thread I was puzzled by all the jargon, but its amazing how quickly you pick it all up! Not sure if that's a good thing... 12 weeks isn't too bad for an appointment - have you decided if you're going to wait for NHS or do it privately?

Big waves to everyone else - including our lovely graduates who've popped in for a visit!

Hi new friends. ERPC done on Friday, and suffering from some spectacular cramping. Feeling quite low from the pain of it, and the reality of no longer being PG. Driving my poor DH crazy. Cone biopsy scheduled for the 16th...seems to be quite urgent, which is why it's so soon. Hoping to start second cycle in August...

Always thinking of you, and praying that everyone gets their heart's desire...

Hi guys, thanks for your stories of how not to be told, or how to be told! I am a total emotional mess at the moment, I must get that Agnus Castus.

Thinking of you all, wishing you sticky vibes, good results etc.

MM how long before you head off to Oz.

Poppy75 what stage are you at?

Lissysilver I hope you are OK, hope you are resting and being nice to yourself (and making others do the same). Lots of rest and thinking of you.

Chocobunny are you still around?

LissySilver It is such an empty feeling after an ERPC, it is really normal to feel devastated one moment and then fine the next. My DH just didn't get it at all and I was so upset with him, it was a difficult time but once through it I think we are stronger for it . Take one day at a time, I know your situation is more complicated with the other treatment so don't beat yourself up if you are feeling really mixed up - big hugs to you

Just shaggy hope you manage to get all the right tests done, it's rubbish that the NHS don't provide it, just adds more stress at a time with you don't need it

Peguin I've not stuck to all the rules. No coffee but still having a few teas, no alcohol but am much more relaxed about what I am eating than I was with IUI. I think if it's meant to be it will work

Had another scan today! Now have 6 on left and 3 on right and they seem big enough. Have to wait for a blood test result and if it's ok egg collection could be Wed or Thursday!!! Seems real now, am excited and a little apprenhensive, but am actually thinking that this month there is a 40% chance I could get pg and haven't had that chance in the last 4 years so must think positively!! Fingers crossed

Hi all

Feeling better thanks for asking, but again last night another announcement by text from acquaintances we haven't seen for ages...great.

Italian I reckon for me it's pretty hard for anyone to do it the right way. On a good day I would certainly appreciate having someone think about the best way to tell me and doing it gently, but then on a bad day it's likely to elicit the same rage as if they'd just shoved a big belly into my face in public. You probably can't win with long term TTCers I suspect.

I hate how jealous I am but it's absolutely instinctive. I would struggle to do Poppy's beatific smile unless I was in an amazing mood, or the person in question was a known sub-fertile like myself and I deemed her worthy of congrats!

We are off on holiday a week today. Still no AF at all, and if fertilityfriend.com is to be believed then I am currently 5DPO which is anyone's guess whether I can expect AF before Friday (which is what I need if I'm going to start this cycle). Also a big fat zero chance of being pg this time - we got fed up with trying when no sign of ovulation!

I'm just really angry and fed up and everything else at the moment so the holiday is coming at a good time really, but would be all the better if AF can f*cking well get here first.

In less selfish tones, Lissy I hope the cramping is going off by now but I remember feeling quite tender afterwards, especially when going to the loo. Be gentle with yourself.

Poppy good luck for EC, glad that there was some improvement between scans.

Justshaggy, I know how frustrating it is waiting for appointments. Hang in there. E2 is estradiol I think - basically a type of oestrogen which they compare against FSH to make sure it doesn't look like an early menopause.

Levi let us know how your scan goes tomorrow, hope you have a lovely strong little one in there!

Cerabina try and enjoy your hols. Thinking of you.

Good evening all!

Poppy so how was your blood test? Are you going for your EC tomorrow or Thursday? How exciting for you. Nine in total sounds fantastic, too. I'm sending you big, fat eggy
vibes!

Cerubina I'm glad to hear you're feeling better despite the onslaught of baby announcements.

Horton how are you doing? Have you decided what you're going to do next? Still early, I know, but it made me feel better when I had a plan...

Lissy how are you doing?

Penguin are you still breaking all the rules?

Italian I hope that you're feeling better as well. Sometimes its so hard to read this thread with all everyone is going through - and not be able to do anything to help!

Levi how was the scan? Hope it went well!

I'm feeling miserable tonight. Think the down-regging is starting to affect my moods. To add to that, I've got a terribly sore throat. And I'm completely demotivated and bored at work now that I've resigned, but still have SEVEN MORE WEEKS before I finish. That alone makes me want to crumple to the floor and weep! And the move to Oz in mid-August seems even farther away (although I'm trying to focus on the IVF first and then the move, so that's OK).

Oh, and I'm supposed to have a bleed during down-regging and it hasn't started yet. Beginning to worry that they'll keep me down-regging until it arrives - which is a worry because I've got such a tight schedule (DH flying back from Oz for EC and ET - based on our own forecast, so if it takes longer than originally expected...)

Enough self-pity - hope everyone has a good evening!

Hi all, self centred post alert as haven't read through what's been going on. Had my scan today and all is well. In fact potentially too well. There are two sacs [eeek]. One had nothing in it that she could see but she said not to rule it out as it may be the angle (or it may just not be a baby). The other had a lovely little foetus with a strong heartbeat - hurrah! So deffo one, possibly two. My sister said she had a scan and there was a sac with nothing in it and when she went to the 12 week scan lo and behold there were two babies so God help me! I'm telling you all this before my DP (he's in Tokyo so is 4am)! Again sorry for self centredness.

AmberC, congrats! That's wonderful news! I had spots on my scan that wound up being implantation bleeding, so you never know.

Poppy, good luck with your EC. 9 sounds like a great number!

Cerubina, I hope you have a nice, restful, relaxing holiday.

Horton, I hope you're feeling better.

MM, I can understand how you don't want to do anything at a job you've officially resigned from, but have to stay SEVEN weeks for. Ugh! I think I was a few days late for my bleed while I was down-regging, and felt a bit panicky.

Everything came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks today. All these things that have been going on have seemed so surreal, but today, it punched me right in the gut. Couldn't seem to stop crying. In addition, having a rocky patch in my marriage, which obviously doesn't help things. DH is willing to go to counselling, which is helpful, so we've agreed to work on things. After cone biopsy I'll go home to America for a couple of weeks and try to decompress and get perspective. It's amazing how hard it is to keep it together, but at the same time, so easy to just let it go and be a little crazy. I keep reminding myself that it'll get better, but there doesn't seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel at the moment.

Sorry to be such a downer tonight girls...

I really do believe that we will all get what we want...

MM, it took me far longer to get my period when downregging this time than last - a whole week later. Which caused no end of stress because we're on a tight schedule as well going on holiday at the end of the month. And they will keep you downregging until it arrives - I'm almost positive of that. Really hope things start moving along!

Amberc. how exciting! When is the next scan? Could you schedule a private scan in a couple of weeks to see if they can get a better angle?

Poppy, good luck today or tomorrow!

Cerubina, have a fanbloodytastic holiday! I would be quite tempted to tell the hospital your period has started on Friday, if you are absolutely sure you're not preggo. Then it can start in its own time whilst you're away... You can then start the drugs in your own time and the hospital may just think you're a late responder... Obviously this is very bad (but I'd be v tempted...)

Lissy, enjoy your time back in the US (where are you from?) - hopefully you can get yourself centred and balanced ready to start again. Soundsa a bit cheesy, but remember that they say it's always darkest just before dawn.

I have my scan tomorrow, and hopefully should be able to get booked in for the transfer next week some time. I had a horrible sinus infection last week and was on ABs - not sure if that will have affected the lining build up, but we'll see. Still doing everything very much not by the book

Hello to everyone else!

Hello everyone!

MM I felt exactly the same with down-regging and had a really sore throat that just made me feel really rundown and miserable. My AF was 4 days late (which is really unusual for me as usually early or bang on time) so hold in there if you can.

Amberc congratulations great news, keep thinking those incubating thoughts, good to have some baby dust on here

Lisysilver - hope things settle once you've had your op. TTC puts an unbelievable stress on relationships and although everyone says having a baby does I almost think ttc does more as you begin to doubt everything including the one person you are closest to. Make sure you give yourself time and be nice to yourself as it is just such a hard time. Big hugs coming your way . Don't worry about being down on MN often it is the only place you can be. My DH used to always try and cheer me up during our MC but I really just wanted time to be sad and deal with it, so sound off as much as you like.

Penguindreams - good luck with your scan fingers crossed for next week

Well I have finished all my meds and after 5 weeks of sniffing can finally stop all that. EC is early tomorrow, I can't wait but at the same time am quite nervous about it all. I am surprisingly positive (much more than my IUI) so I am hoping that is a good sign. I've booked two weeks off work so will have about a week after ET to relax before starting work again. Let's hope it's all worth it!

Dear all,

Scan went well - only one in there, which is in one sense a relief, although I had a momentary pang for the one that didn't make it (and who knows whether we'll ever manage a sibling for this one - if it gets that far of course). But all looked good otherwise (as far as you can tell at 7.5 weeks), so a great relief. DH, who has been lukewarm at best about the whole thing, was even a bit excited so that was a real result!

Hope things go well for everyone IVF-ing, and thinking of those of you who are having a tough time.