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Bah @ scorps Curse the rusty fucker's eyes

Scorps

well no news here either. I am refusing to POAS again until Monday at which point i will be 7 days late by my usual cycle. I have no symptoms of any description.....no crampy stomach, no sensitive norks, no PMT urge to stab innocent members of the public in the eye with a blunt pencil.

Two friends have given birth this week.....one this morning to an eye-watering whopper who was over 10lb......i am surrounded by babies and pregnant friends/family.

DP has challenged me to a game of Scrabble tonight. I wonder how many swear words i can get on the board. Do you think it would be ok to make some extra tiles to guarantee i can get them all?

scrops Arsebags. I'm going to climb back into my lurker pit now, but am still quietly thinking it might be the infamous 'light period' of many a Take a Break tale of women who give birth in Waterloo station thinking they've just got a touch of bloat.

Fingers crossed for the hospital visitors.

Dammit Scorps, I was hoping for the best. What a bunch of arse.

Oh Scorps I am so sorry, bastard rusty beeping git. I was so hoping it was your month. Bollox.

Sis is being kept in the hospital again as her blood pressure is still high - its at the lower edges of the limit for pre-ecampsia iykwim, so they want to keep monitoring her. Baby is fine though so sis will just have to put up the boredom of bed rest! Feel better now I've seen her.

Am mucho disappointed for Scorps so I am now drowning my sorrows with my mummy.

Arse. That's so not what I wanted to hear Scorps. Am still glad your luteal phase was longer than usual, but suspect that's not much comfort at the mo.

Glad they've got your sis well monitored Polly and that the baby's OK. Hope she copes with the boredom and baby arrives safe and well at a sensible time.

Where is everyone? MrM has abandoned me for an entire week to go and visit his best mate in Foreign. It's RUBBISH.

What do we think of the election? or is that a banned substance here? Am watching Newsnight and it's all about the possibility of a hung Parliament, which I think is quite an interesting prospect. Change is as good as a rest as they say. If there's a crashing silence on this subject I'll know I've made a faux pas! What do you think Muse?

That question is a bit much like work for me! It is quite exciting not knowing who might win. I predict a hung parliament, edging towards a surprise Labour win.

Think I agree with that. I really really want to throw eggs into Cameron's smooth, bland face. Wight, over to Wossie and the Outnumbered cast. Here's a weird crush admission - I kind of fancy Hugh Dennis .

Morning,
so many other countries operate well enough with a hung parliament. It's just not something we are used to, so the media is making a big deal out of it. I think at the moment bits of various parties' policies appeal to individual voters, so it might actually be a good thing. Who knows?

Right, time to get cleaning for house viewing - wish me luck! Once it's over I can focus on the big match (and trying not to fall out with my husband over rugby)

ghostie loving the thought of you having to tidy the house in order to watch the rugby - mounds of crisp and chocolate packets obscuring your view of the telly eh?

Like they are doing here....

heehee, guess i wasn't clear enough about the first form of viewing! we have potential buyers coming any minute...

bangs head against wall

i found a pregnancy test when i cleared out the boot of the car so i caved in and did it.

Negative.

i'm beginning to think my cycles were tricking me by falling into a clockwork routine so quickly. Is there any point me making a GP appt this week and pestering for blood tests to see if my hormones are doing what they should be?

Just want to cry, i feel so bloody frustrated.

So sorry, MyLastRollo Come join me in the pit. Am currently banging my head against the walls until it bleeds and I fall into unconsciousness.
Gah, I just realised I used some ironic imagery there.

I won't be around much, m'dears - am too depressed to even offer my usual bitter joking. Am so glad my babyfail coincides with Mother's Day weekend - rub it in, why doncha? Am so low I can't even face seeing my family later; Mum and Gran just remind me of what I might never be, Aunt is representation of what I fear I have become - fat, barren, bitter and miserable, and has never fulfilled her potential. Dad is nice but tactless - every time I see him now he keeps telling me how he wants to be a Granddad and I'm leaving it too late to start TTC, although of course I won't have any probs cos my Mum didn't and other helpful stuff like that.

Of course I will go and be sweetness and light and make them happy. Then cry all the way home and all night.

Laters.

I have also developed another angry red lump on the left side of my chin, like I have been doing every droid for the last 6 months. That will just make the livid scarring it's already left - that can't be covered up even with thick make-up - look even better.

Poor scorps

Can you not be brutally upfront with them about stuff and tell them that every time it's mentioned it's like a punch in the guts? I'm sure they'd be mortified if they thought their casual joshing was causing such anguish...

Thanks Cunty (so much for my self-imposed exile). It's only my Dad who says these things and he only means well. He can be a bit anxious and obsessive and if I told him, he's worry all the time about it and he'd want to talk to me constantly about it (and offer me 'helpful' advice) and would want to know what I'm doing about it - we've been messed about by the TV Licensing twats (paid for a year in full, can prove it with bank statement, they still say we haven't paid) and he mentions it every time he sees me and rings me up specially to ask what we've been doing about it, etc., so is better to grit my teeth than to blurt.

No-one else is accidentally insensitive and my Mum really is v supportive, even though she can't fully understand what I'm going through, having been a young mother.

Have baked and iced a gazillion cupcakes (choc fudge) and shall be delivering them plus cards (got my Gran and Auntie one too, cos I'm so soppy) asap

Soooooooooo.... where do you think you get your fretful personality trait from then? . I understand where you're coming from, he sounds like a sweetie, but maybe now is the time to announce a moratorium on discussing it, for your own sanity?

Still, at least they give a fuck. When I told my sister I was [in the process of] miscarrying just after we'd scattered dad's ashes, she said 'Oh well, these things happen for a reason. Anyone want a cup of coffee?'

No, my Mum is the anxious one - I get my obsessiveness from him!

Top marks to your sister there People really don't know what to say about these things, do they (not that it's a fucking excuse, sheesh)? S'why only my Mum knows we're ttc.

Oh she wasn't floundering for anything to say, she just wasn't arsed...

I suppose there's something to be admired in her lack of disingenuousness. Maybe.

That's up there with my mum's offering of 'well maybe you shouldn't test' when I told her about the second suspected miscarriage. All heart my mum.

I'm sorry to hear of the spotting, Scorps. I guess it is small comfort that you got a longer luteal phase.

[sympathy] Life's a bitch isn't it?

Parents have got a talent for saying the most insensitive things when they actually think they're offering good sound common sense. I've so often come close to jabbing my mum in the eye with a sharpened finger nail when on the subject of anything intimate/vulnerable etc. I was in love with the same guy between the ages of 16 and 24 and a couple of times when it became too sore to hide she's say helpful things such as "Maybe you just have to face the fact that he's not attracted to you" etc. Wonderful stuff.

And at the same time the thought of actually being able to tell my dad he's going to be a granddad at last makes me fill up. But when it comes down to it, I know that he's my dad and nothing could make him love me more than he does. Grandchildren would be wonderful for him but not having them wouldn't mean that he'd be disappointed with me. I think that at the end of the day (grrrrr I hate that phrase so much) grandchildren are the icing on the cake, but they're definitely not the cake itself. Sorry, I've had a few glasses of wine and will no doubt feel an utter tosser in the morning