All new 30-something BESH buzwamcam action

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Subscribe now for 24 hour buzwamcam footage! Sit back, relax, and admire these 30 something women go menkul during the 2WOOFL. Hot men and cold cocktails on tap.

God, some of your pain stories are quite, quite appalling.
If I ever have labour, I'm going to be like that squealing, writhing girl on OBEM. Though, and I may have mentioned this before, I may be allowed an elective CS, because I have a wonky spine and pelvis and I only have twig sized hips like my mother, who ended up with hideous bowel problems after giving birth to three modest sized babies.

Scorps

Corn Laws were repealed in 1846. I paid zero attention in History GCSE and A-Level so gawd only knows how such factoids stayed lodged in my head. Why my mind thinks I need to remember that Christina of Sweden was a lesbian or that Louis XIV was born with a full head of hair and 6 teeth, I do not know

Casper Did your Doc look anything like Kathy Bates? Did he/she do the op with a big hammer and then demand you wrote a trashy novel? Poor you! OUCH!

One thing that worries me most about labour is that I'll really piss off all the medical staff; I'm not a sweet and easygoing girly type and I swear like a trouper, hate inane chat and being patronised and don't like strangers being near me and am fussy and exacting so I will be bellowing swears, telling MWs to fuck off and get their hands off me and to not talk to me like I'm a child and correcting their pronunciation, etc. And the thing I hate most in the world is that brisk, bustling and overly-cheerful 'no need for fuss' condescending attitude nurses always take. Then I'll expect them to make everything lovely and as painless as possible And god help them if they keep offering me bloody tea (hate hot drinks).

Scorps hates hot drinks .

Just got off the phone from booking hol, going on Monday. Slightly risky as LyraPops not yet got the absolute go ahead for discharge, so hurrah/eeek .

Quite fancy that Decaff bird. She admitted to BUMSEX in her questionnaire, and told a spitting-yer-tea-on-the-keyboard worthy anecdote re: foofoo being mistaken for poopoo almost as soon as she had her foot in the door. She's going to fit right in.

Headcase, you are no longer a newbie - rationale being that your post count in 2 months is probably equivalent to mine in a year. And you amuse me. And your punctuation is excellent.

Aries, you are not a newbie either - rationale being that a) you defend us on other threads (e.g. rhubarb), b) you'd been trying for a while before you got here, and c) you keep going on about being a newbie, which is quite endearing.

So here you go, both of you .

That means you can let yourselves in the front door. Silver keys (to the drinks cabinet), and Gold (to the Pit of Despair) will follow when you've been here 6 months and 12 months respectively.

Obviously if you fuck off to the PESH Deli before that, then you miss out on this attractive reward scheme and other enticing BESH benefits, but hey, I don't make the rules . Take it up with the Bunion (BESH union, geddit).

Thus spake the goddess Lyra

for what it counts (which is a great deal) I second the key-giving.

Welcome to the heart of the coven iriemon (sorry I always want to call you that Aries) and headfucketyfuck. we officially hearts yous.

I also agree with lordylyra's view of decaff. rude,gross n honest...that's how we like 'em

Fanks Gin - I did wonder if I should have convened the coven to consider the matter rather than making unilateral decision to hand the keys over, but I've had two glasses of wine

Hi Guys!

Ooh, another newbie. This fred's getting popular, innit? Hi Decaff!

Well, I'm not going to go on about myself again... Oh, ok then, if you insist:

Last night was Jizz Night and I failed completely. We got the jizz and everyfink, but then I just couldn't do it. All I could think of was how I'd never wanted to be pregnant (but obv want a child) and that I was only doing it for Mrs Dodger, but I'll do anyfink for 'er, innit. Except this, it appears. It seems selfish to say no to it, but I guess I've got to think of meself as well.

So, cried and snotted all over the ladywife, felt like shit, then went back to work today wondering what in the fuck we're going to do now.

At least we're off on holiday tomorrow. Did I mention that? I said I'm going away tomorrow to sit by a pool. In the sun. Abroad.

See ya!

Cocky, I feel ya mate. I've never wanted to be preggo either. Unfortunately I'm the only one in the relationship with a uterus, so to get the outcome we want - a baybee - I've got to man up on this. I don't have any answers, but just wanted you to know you're not alone. Have a lovely holiday.

Yes, I guess I feel a bit bad complaining about it when you lot on here only have one uterus to choose from. At least we have a choice! Or did have

...Not one uterus between you, but one uterus each, obviously.

I also heart decaff's brutally honest assessment of the bedroom antics round hers

TMI is always a good thing, esp. in a Noob. Keep it up, gal, and you'll be fast-tracked for a go on Mitchell

And yes, I hate tea and coffee I can tolerate peppermint tea and that's it.

No no noo Dodge, don't feel bad - you have two uterii but we have ready access to a spunkomatic (each).

Now cock I think sloping off on holiday is shirking the responsibility of sharing your natural anxieties with this group of nosy bitches sympathetic friends. Let us give you a good kicking explore your feelings and change your mind see what we can achieve with you...

Sorry, didn't refresh page - be kind to yourself Cocklesandmusslesalivealiveoh (eye thangyew!). For a start, it's entirely understandable that you'd have a bit of a freak-out; this new development has happened really quickly and you've probably not had nearly enough time to get your head round it. But you know, it's unlikely that you'd get Teh Diff the first time you pop the jizz up there - just look at the ranks of crazed, loon-eyed fellow BESHes, cradling used sanpro dolls and buying shit from witches to win them a baybee and you'll see that it takes time. Just chill on hols and keep communicating with the ladywife and you'll work something out. HUG!

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I'm made up Lyra, no really I am

Shit, sorry Cockie for my insensitive exuberance. I'll understand if I'm ejected immediately. You have a relaxing holiday and try and get your head round stuff. I was wondering where you were today and the past couple of days.

I'm sorry Have I walked into the wrong palace by accident? Hugs? Apologies? Is this, in fact, the weak lemon drink palace?

No nonsense violence is what people expect and want. I just don't know any more

Come over here and I'll deck you

It'll take more than a good decking to sort me out

it's 9.15 in the morning. Give me the biggest bottle of gin we have. i realised this morning that right when we should be SWI'ing, himself will be on call in London. so that's this cycle out the window then.

Punches self in head Fight Club style.......