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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

All new 30-something BESH buzwamcam action

1000 replies

Muser · 11/03/2010 13:03

Subscribe now for 24 hour buzwamcam footage! Sit back, relax, and admire these 30 something women go menkul during the 2WOOFL. Hot men and cold cocktails on tap.

OP posts:
ginhag · 23/03/2010 11:58

O scorp's are you making you're point's about apostrophe's and stuff again?

feel the pain...

CockDodger · 23/03/2010 12:04

she woz tryin 2 say that i carnt spel but at lee'st i can string a sentuns togevva betta than wot she can obviuslee do u fink we scaired the newbie awway cos she's bin quite for a while?

CurlyCasperReturns · 23/03/2010 12:11

Ow, ow, ow, ow the paiiiiiiiin! Please to stop it cocky you're making me think I'm an another thread where that kind of repulsive language is the norm

Hello mountaindew

CurlyCasperReturns · 23/03/2010 12:11

an on.

Muppet

Headbanger · 23/03/2010 12:33

Another B F fucking N. And not too early this time. great. Just great. No idea what that spotting mid cycle was. My own fucking womb is taunting me.

Ariesgirl · 23/03/2010 12:39

God Cock's you're grammer and punctuation are awful and I dont think you should be aloud on here. babydust to all!!!!!!!!!!!!

HB mite it have been ovulation type bleeding?

ginhag · 23/03/2010 12:44

headfuck but you are still testing early aren't you? Just not super early.

RunLyraRun · 23/03/2010 12:57

Unless the earth is spinning faster than usual (and the Goddess Lyra has not given it an extra twirl today, so I doubt it), HB must still be about 3 or 4 days early, non?

ginhag · 23/03/2010 13:02

She is obv believing that early piss sticks never lie.

casp only got v weak + on (I think) eve before droid due. Better + next day.... Early tests are notorious for not doing what they say on the tin....

Ariesgirl · 23/03/2010 13:03

Sorry, I withdraw my idiotic ov-type question.

ginhag · 23/03/2010 13:05

(although having said that I still always test early. Because I'm a twat innit )

CurlyCasperReturns · 23/03/2010 13:18

good memory gin! I canny remember exactly but it was either day before/day droid due and the line was pretty fucking useless on an ebay cheapie (supposed early test)

It's not over until metal mickey bleeps! nogginknocker

ginhag · 23/03/2010 13:20
ginhag · 23/03/2010 13:24

Am not really a stalker. Just remembered it as good evidence against early testing. Or at least against actually believing early tests

Headbanger · 23/03/2010 13:44

God bless you all. I'm actually due saturday but that should still be well within the grasp of first response unless they really are a lying bunch o' cunts. Trying to just accept it. My lovely husband instructed me to have a Lovely Day, for him. So i'm currently spunking a week's wages at camden lock, and then i'm going to see that new jim carrey film. Nothing cheers a barren girl like hot gay sex.

Scorpette · 23/03/2010 13:54

U lot is mingaz n slagz n hv no chanse off geting of wid randoms, innit? U is buttaz, I is well-fit, RESPEK!

I have no idea what I've just said. Innit.

I wasn't trying to be mean, just joshin' abaaaht cos I know what it's like to suddenly have a fit of pedantic self-hatred and worry that you've made a tiny error, as if anyone else would care! (BTW, B- Cocksure, see me after prep)

Headcase, if the droid is due but hasn't arrived, that has to be good news, even if the bastard piss-stick is mocking you. Am wearing loose jersey items so I can tear them off for a celebratory nekkid dance at any moment. Or if any of youse lot fancy a Mitchell sandwich with me...

RunLyraRun · 23/03/2010 13:57

Headfuck, they are a lying bunch of cunts, though, even first response - listen to the wisdom of the BESHes.

iggypiggy · 23/03/2010 14:09

BESHies - I iz sneaking in cos cho told me I could nick your gin

fumbles/ snogs and violence all round

ChoChoSan · 23/03/2010 14:49

...see BESHies...the grass isn't greener on the other side...they don't even have GIN in the PESH deli...aaaarf!

has one of youse lot killed mountainfairy...or has she just managed to extract herself from the black deathly tentacles or the vortex? (thems my hands, innit!)

HeadtheBaw testing way too early...not v. clever I'm afraid - though you could do what I did...test early then go out on a large bender to commiserate with yourself, then actually test on the correct day to find you are pregnant, and the baybee is probably going to come out with a traffic cone on its head.

PerfectDromedary · 23/03/2010 14:51

Headbastard First Response is a bit misleading (at least in my opinion, sorry, not being libellous, honest). In the bottom corner, hidden in the small print, are the actual accuracy stats - from memory, and the internet, its about 50% accurate four days before your period. Plus, it counts back from the day AFTER your period is expected - so technically, if you're due on Saturday, you're still outside the zone when an FR test could tell you whether or not your pregnant. In fact, if you're due on Saturday, the icklebundleofcells may not even have implanted as yet, weird mid-cycle bleeds notwithstanding.

Not trying to give the false hope, but hate FR with a passion. Not the same passion I reserve for the sneering Clearblue "fuck off, barren wimminz" but still...

Headbanger · 23/03/2010 15:12

B-b-but. . . I thought it said 90 per cent accurate within 6 days. . . ? I iz so confused . Well. I'll listen to BESH wisdom. And take it on the chin when the droid inevitably comes. . . The traffic cone made me choke on my popcorn (in cinema. it's a damn good film but jim carrey's hairline is MOST unconvincing).

SomethingSuitablyWitty · 23/03/2010 15:24

Hello Head - I have recent and comprehensive experience with testing early (four days in my case, 6 seems waaaayy to early, but you knew that). Anyway, after my initial Superdrug shocker, I immediately used a really expensive test called Predictor that also claimed to be 90% accurate four days before missed period and airily dismissed the need for FMU or anything like that. It was totally and unambiguously negative. So that was 16€ down the drain...And just plain wrong of course.

MountainFairy · 23/03/2010 17:08

I am here, I am here. You did not scare me off (yet). Just had brunch with a couple of other BESHs (oooh, and I so am a BESH, ask my mother if you don't believe me). I was proud of finally making it into the ladies who brunch brigade, but no rest for the wicked it seems. So let's see if I can win myself a place under the gusset sun:

  1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')
    Sure. Does it have to be only gin?

  2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

Gold digger totally. Married to a BSEG. (Clumsy attempt at something like Blank Shooting Evil Sod.)

  1. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use: a) weewee b) poopoo c) foofoo d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

Pray to the baby boards.

  1. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you: a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway. b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

Deff. a.

  1. Is R2D2: a) an adorable robot from Star Wars. b) the source of all evil.

A creature that spawned Sheldon Cooper.

  1. what colour are your walls?

Chipped.

  1. Number of pets?

Killed one hampster, parrot flew away, dropped a cat from the 21st floor (she lived) and dog attacked people with white sneakers so I am abstaining for the time being.

  1. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

Well, Woody Allen I guess but that's such a cliche. My chubby hubby?

  1. Lesbian crush?

Oooh. Everyone? The whole thing on the Desperate Housewives is making me a little bit wet.

  1. What are your views on camping?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA HA. It was great tripping in German forests when I was 17...

  1. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on? i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it. ii) Over 100 quid iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

A healthy Boots card.

Extra question:

Suit? Shirt? I'll just take the groping.

ChoChoSan · 23/03/2010 17:31

Thank you fairy, that will do for me.

By the way...isn't the concept of 'brunch' simply the acceptable face of having a glass of white wine with breakfast?

MountTheFairy · 23/03/2010 17:35

Mimosa.

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