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[Muser]

Subscribe now for 24 hour buzwamcam footage! Sit back, relax, and admire these 30 something women go menkul during the 2WOOFL. Hot men and cold cocktails on tap.

Er. Help me someone. I just went to the loo and I'm spotting. I'm not due for another 8 days. I'm 6DPO. This has never happened before. I feel a bit oooogly woooogly.

Poo I don't know how you'd feel about this comment, but a marriage if it's been good thus far, is worth hanging on to. Of course, I know you know that by the way. I hope you're surviving in the pit.

HB is it brown or red? Or pink?

Sort of pinky brown. Just a smear.

Oh and yesterday I kept thinking I was wetting myself a bit. Nice. Although I was drinking beer* and laughing like a drain, so that's possible.

*Clearly not taking this seriously enough

A smear 6DPO? Interesting. Maybee you are winning a baybee.

I am crying. Not sure why.

Can I symptom spot for you Heads? I have no symptoms of my own to spot, so shall spot yours instead.

My big mucusy thing definitely not thrush, have no thrushy symptoms. I think maybe it's just me becoming not pregnant. Apparently it is possible to ovulate quite quickly again afterwards, maybe I'm a fertile Myrtle.

Oh Muse, please do! They're all vaguely yuk. I feel distinctly non-fresh in the gusset department. As if I've managed to leak wee. Lovely. But I'm far too frightened to go and have a rummage. I also feel racked with guilt that I had a pint, a whisky and coke, and 3 Silk Cut last night. Jesus. I don't deserve to win, I really don'y.

Oh God it's probably just one of Those Things and nothing to do with baybees. and I'm going to mend my ways, I really am. No booze. No caffeine. Early nights.

And I believe that you are utterly fertile Myrtle, and your whole body is doing sort of warm-up stretching exercises, prior to churning out dozens and dozens of the finest quality double-yolked free-range eggs.

But I can't do anything with the eggs until June! Sigh.

Didn't some of the PESHes say they were extra juicy after diffment? I think these are very good symptoms. We need a diffment round here, it's been bloody ages.

Oh and don't beat yourself up over the drinking & fags. You won't have done any harm.

June will come round so fast, you won't believe it. It's already nearly April!

I just checked again. More brown gunk. The weirdest thing. I had a bit of a poke. It almost has BITS in.

All right I'll stop now because I'm making myself feel queasy. Thanks for being a helpful BESH. Please to drink this here bottle of merlot, since I'd better lay off...

I might read the PESH thread. I may even pose a question. D'you think they'll let me in?!

BITS? Gosh. Good luck with the PESHes.

Sounds promising HeadGirl

I am now starting cycle twenty-fucking-four of ttc. If that isn't enough to make me want to boil my own head I don't know what is...

Fanks for the sympathy. And for the chaise longue Cunty - no point in being uncomfortable while I torture myself with photos of pregnant bellys and newborn mewling baybees in fluffy cotton babygros.

I am in awe that you are holding it together at all Poo.

Muse that is indeed a compliment (espeshly from you, given all that you have had to endure over the last few months) but I don't deserve it as I am not holding it together at all - i am a tear-stained snotty puffy-eyed harridan who just tripped over Iris's old moses basket and burst into tears for about the 100th time today. TG is hanging around me nervously not really knowing what to do or say. I have been trying to face the idea that I may never have another child or know the joy of being pregnant again, but I just can't do it without breaking down. Sorry that is utterly pathetic and self-indulgent. Not to mention quite possibly offensive to some of you, given that I have been lucky enough to enjoy the experience once, so I will shut the fuck up now.

I am now trying to get myself together so I can visit waitrose, buy some nice scram and then drive 2 hrs to a friends house in Hants so we can enjoy the peace and quiet (her 3 kids are away with their useless fuckwit of a father for the night) and weep over our respective shittiness into our cocoa gin.

I really am grateful for this place and you BESHies. There isn't anyone who really understands in RL - even my mum said yesterday that dad always called her a baby factory. Thanks for that mum. She also never really thought to tell me that she started her menopause early - well that is just fucking brilliant mum, ta!

I think the cruel irony of snuggling baby Ava yesterday and receiving the droid less than 24 hours later was just too much for my PMA. No doubt I will wallow in the pit for a while and then it will be time to SWI again... and so it goes on. Blah blah, I'm boring myself now.

Luv you guys. And I don't care if that is unBESHy. X (yes that is a fucking kiss alright?!)

You're having a bad time PollyPoo, and that's understandable and you're a mess at the moment (wipe your nose). But you keep going, so you are being very strong at the core. Definitely worth admiring.

Thanks Muse, you just made me cry again. I'm going now.... Hampshire via waitrose, here I come. Must brush teeth first though, skanky cow.

I've just spilled over reading that Pol. Haven't been here long but send all best luck and wishes and everything your way. Enjoy your time with your friend if you can, or if you can't, enjoy the gin.

my ds has had a meltdown of epic proportions this afternoon over a picture in a colouring book. I think he has my PMT

DP went shopping and brought me flowers, chocolate and one of those ceramic chickens for keeping eggs in

Headbanger - four days before i got a positive test with DS i got rip-roaring drunk on gin down the pub. And that was a week before Christmas so i spent the festive season sober and watching everyone around me getting falling over drunk.

That is reassuring, ta, Queenie! Tis also a funny image

Now I am fretting that round about the time of SWI/ovulation I was necking high-strength ibuprofen for backache. The NHS website has frightening things to say about that: but then it probably has frightening things to say about, I dunno, sniffing lilies or summat

I'M BACK, BEYATCHES! 4 days and nights of hassling Tiscali to get their act together; TYF told me t'other day that he can't be in the same room as me when I get in full flow dealing with cretins - he also said that WWII could've been averted if I'd've been around to rant at Hitler till he backed down

Just been reading all the shenanigans here and catching up - have missed you old slagbags lots Am v happy for AuntiePoo and little A. M. And looking forward to Cheggers upcoming Big News!!! And Happy Birthday to Cuntalicious! And do I have to be the one who whispers 'implantation bleed' at Headcase?

Big gropes, snogs, punches and nipple-flicking to everyone and a special gropey hug for poor old Poo> I get mega-hysterical when the droid appears and as your LPD-twin, I understand the double anguish; it's not just that you're not getting pregnant, it's that you know exactly why not - that you're starting bleeding too early for a pg to sustain - and there's nothing we can do. It feels like 'if my fucking womb can't do such a simple task like hold off bleeding for 12 days after ovulation then what hope is there for it dealing with anything more complicated?!'.

Anyway, trying to stay positive (HA!). Haven't cried like my eyes were going to fall out for 2 whole days now!

Now come abuse me cruelly in true BESH fashion, you luvverly lot! BUNDLE!

Scorps We missed ya! Glasgow kisses all round!

Scorpie

Don't leave us again. Sorry about the snot on your blouse.

I'm trying to put it all outta me 'ead. I prolly do it every month or summink but only noticed this time cos of menkulist symptom spotting tendencies.

Am diverting self with a BBC drama about Mrs Beeton. There was a darling baybee that died. Thanks, Beeb

So Scorps can we send you to sort out the Middle East and achieve world peace, all by ranting at people? Glad you're back.

Headbanger are you going to take over gussetwatch for us? That probably doesn't help with trying not to think about it though - ignore bad suggestion.

Polly, if you've been doing the PMA thing well since Nov, it's probably entirely natural that you're struggling at the mo. Keeping positive's great, but it takes a lot of energy and eventually there comes a point where the difficult stuff's going to break through. Sounds like droid triggered it for you - be kind to yourself. And I'll never cease to be amazed by men's inability to cope with emotional women (I'm sure there are some out there who can, but I'm not sure I know any!)

Anyone else watching the rugby? I'm home alone (TH is in Wales for the weekend, leaving me to work and then have no-one to cook my dinner for me) so consoling myself with rugby players' legs. Must remember to go to bed earlier than last night or I'll be a complete wreck by the end of tomorrow.