All new 30-something BESH buzwamcam action

[Muser]

Subscribe now for 24 hour buzwamcam footage! Sit back, relax, and admire these 30 something women go menkul during the 2WOOFL. Hot men and cold cocktails on tap.

Cockadoodledoo , yes I will certainly join you in the vat of beer...skinny-dipping I hope (I like to show off my merkin).

Hysteroscopy is where they stick a camera up the foof and do a bit of a David Attenbrough to see if there is anything interesting in the undergrowth...check the uturus etc, snip off any untoward bits they might find, eg polyps (WTF?), and might snip out a bit of wombular flesh to enjoywithanicechianti do a biopsy on. HSG they just force a load of gloop through your cervix, whilst a little old lady holds you down (in my experience!) and scan to check tubes all normal.

Hi Aries (sorry, only pseudonym I could think of was AryanNation, not sure if that's at all nice!)...yes it was my most offensive jizz post that lured you over here - it's funny how the BESHies go 'flirty-fishing' to pick up new recruits on pearl clutcher threads..noticed this recently with rhubarb's thread.

I am really nhs, aries. Waiting for ivf, but clinic fucked up so asked for one last iui, and they are charging me for it, the caaahnts (see previous moans ad infinitum!) at the princley sum of £660 for 8 piss-sticks, 2 dildocams, and one insemination...yes it's astonishing that they wont pay ME to have a look at my minge doing a Desperate Dan impression (again...cf. earlier posts about the 'shaven haven').

I hope to get up to 3 funded ivfs on nhs, and then freeze some embryos so if it doesn't work i can have them put in privately.

Please don't vomit but I think you're being very brave.

Deciding against AryanNation was probably A Good Thing

By the way, I'm glad my plaintive cry for company was heard Coccyx and Girlywhirly...it was as though I shone the batman sign into the skies above MN!

Yes, not looking forward to the hysteroscopy, speshly as they refer to it as an 'operation' and I have to go for a pre-op consultation the weeks before.

They are supposed to be having just a look, but as I said, they have a shoot on sight policy if they see anything dodgy. I am a bit worried because last month the DJ (dildocam-jockey) said they was some kind of 'fold' visible, which later went away, and this time there is some kind of 'shadow'. I have never had this in the past, so I wonder if it was caused by one of my lickleangelbaybees, but perhaps it might be the cause of the m/cs...I don't fucking know...I am probably growing a baybee out of progesterone gel up there...it can go to school with Scorps sannytowel baby Clothilda!

Hey Aries..maybe a good way to curtail the length of inlaws' stay would be to laze around in bed late into the morning, having load and vigorous sex!

load loud

Wow, Chopin (best I could come up with - sorry), your minge sure gets around. You're a veteran of having stuff shoved up there with an audience, aren't ya?

How long do you have to wait for ivf? That is, of course, assuming that you don't get diffed this cycle - which obviously, you will.

How about Airyfairy ?

Yes Cockofthewalk, my minge follows the Stanislavski 'method', hence its frequent outings...to much critical praise, but low 'box'-office turnover!

IVF should happen the cycle immediately following next month's op...assuming they don't find anything terrifying up there.

Sorry, cross-post.
That sounds awful. But the docs often tell you they've 'noticed' something which turns out to be nothing at all.

I know its totally not the same, but I had to go for a CT scan because of something pushing on my stomach, which was picked up by a down-the-throat-cam, but the CT showed there was nothing there at all.

It'll all be fine. Just see.

Hmmm...somone has just fucked off out of that IVF thread, saying it's not 'sensible' anymore (IE. since I posted...moi!), but I can't for the life of me see what she's on about - WEIRD!!!

Yes, indeed, they spent bloody ages scanning me, murmurring in low voices, one saying 'we should take a photoprint of that' to the other...but not saying anything to me!! I had to ask what they were talking about...at least they said they were happy for me to go ahead with the treatment, so they can't be that concerned!

I've just read you post on the other fred.

Now, why did you have to get all silly and mention politics and pharmaceuticals? You didn't really need to take it to that level, now did you?

Everyone knows that free treatment on the NHS is all about the deserving and undeserving. Obviously, the poor and/or barren are the undeserving and should be grateful for their lot in life and not ask for or expect anything more. Oh, and the gays, too.

Good luck with the ivf (if you need it).

you your

Thanks Cocks...I just find it so bizarre that people can be so dismissive about helping people overcome the MEDICAL PROBLEMS that cause infertility...when half of them are probably on some other thread banging on about how it's the most worthwhile and fulfilling thing anyone can ever do..."but you can never understand until you have one of your own"

Bloody hell CockLodger don't mention the gays...if you want kids...just don't be gay!!Simples! Now off you go and try to be sensible, you silly little girl!

Exactly. It works both ways, though, doesn't it? You can never understand fertility problems until you have some of your own.

The people on that fred have obv never had to deal with it and also lack the empathy to put themselves in that position.

Anyway, my mate's a nurse and she says that budgets are decided far in advance for separate areas like ivf and other stuff, so someone getting free ivf treatment is not taking money away from other treatments because that money is already allocated. She knows everyfink, does my mate!

LOL! I'm such a slow typer, I always miss the post just before mine!

I would also point out that I have saved the nhs at least 10 years of contraception costs! You're welcome!

But goodness, didn't you know that having any kind of medical assistance to have a baybee is Messing With Nature and therefore to be avoided at all costs. If you have IVF followed by a mc it's clearly your fault because you are Playing God and Messing with Nature. I actually went so far as to post a comment on a Daily Hate Mail comments on news story about some triplets which apparently "caused a divorce" when someone said something along those lines. I mildly enquired whether these men (always men) would be so keen to avoid Playing God and Messing with Nature if they required a kidney transplant or something. They didn't publish it of course. If you are barren you should accept it, become a nun and go and help the poor little black babies, didn't you know? I haven't found this IVF thread - any links? Sorry, just blatant idle curiosity.

ArtfulDodger (I'm liking that version of your name), I'm not on anything medical. The only reason I become a postulant BESH is because I'm bitter, thus-far-childless and nearly 35. But I've always been a paranoid maniac about everything so there's no reason why this should be any different.

By the way, the in laws are off home tomorrow anyway. Phew. They only stayed so long because they live 450 miles away and we don't see them that often. I treasure every one of those 450 miles, though I might be thinking otherwise if and when we ever need a free babysitter.

sensible

well.....day 41 yesterday and i finally got my period. Have been so frustrated with my body not doing as it was told. Have spent a fortune POAS somehow convinced that i must be pregnant.

Anyway.....i am properly grumpy now. Back ache, stomach cramps....the works.....but at least i can start thinking about TTC again properly now.

Queenie I'll join you - started spotting yesterday (CD23, 8DPO) and droid is bleeping with a vengeance today. Bleeping rusty bastard fucker.

Warning Warning Warning... self indulgent weepy crap coming up..... avert eyes now if offended ....

I broke down in tears on the shop floor at work yesterday. I was feeling pretty shit about the spotting, and then saw a little girl, not much older than Iris, trying to push her very new sibling in the pram around the shop. And it broke my heart that Iris might never get that. I had to run off to the bogs.

I cried all the way home and TG was his usual understanding self. Not. We ended up having a huge row, basically because we are not on the same page where ttc is concerned and he finds it impossible to understand how I feel. He also thinks that on some level I am 'making' the droid appear every month because I 'hope' to be pregnant. WTF? Apparently at some point hope gives way and I start to prepare for the worst, thereby making it happen. If that is right then why I am bleeding like a stuck pig and still hoping it might stop at any moment because it is the fabled implantation bleed?

All I needed was some fucking sympathy and a hug, some understanding that of course I would be disappointed not to have a longer LP again. I did not want a fucking lesson in everything I am doing wrong (without being able to tell me how to make it right). I was so fucking angry I just wanted to set fire to all my supplements and herbs etc and then chuck TG on top.

He said he'd rather have me screaming and crying every month than just being quiet and shutting him out, like the last few months. For the record, I haven't had a meltdown like this since Nov and have really been trying to be all zen and positive, therefore not really having anything to talk about. He took that to mean I am somehow bottling things up. FFS.

I think I am more upset by TG's lack of understanding than I am by the bastard droid. And that is saying something.

I feel so ARRRGGHHHHHH. Why am I actually bothering with all of this treatment/herbs/needles when nothing seems to fucking work? Am I just supposed to give up? I don't know how to do that without becoming a bitter caaahh and probably losing my marriage in the process.

I will be in the pit if anyone wants me. Please just keep chucking gin in every now and again to top me up.

Sorry for memememememe post. Nip twists and black eyes for you all.

I wasn't sure what you'd like Polly, so I brought it all. Fuck that bleeping metal bastard. Don't really know what to say, so will just pour you a strong one.

Now, how about a little TMI for the morning? Does anyone know about mucus plugs? Would I have had one? Because something just came out of me, like EWCM but not EW. My body is weird.

Oh pol Men have absolutely no idea how to do this type of shiz do they . I've put a nice comfy chaise longue in the pit and a selection of buff gentlemen will feed you grapes dipped in gin.

muse I had something similar after my mc. I stared at it for fully 10 minutes from many angles before dismissing it as medical freakery and consigning it to the depths. Couldn't describe it to you to this day but very very odd.

Muse, at risk of giving away more of my medical history than anyone ever wants to know, the only time I've ever had a pluggy thing was thrush. Spectacular, it were. Just amazing. It looked as if it had a rudimentary nervous system. However, I expect you know what thrush looks like.

Talking of thrush, don't you just love it when people name their daughters Candida?

Cho I just read that IVF fred. Was like trying to eat a pile of Daily Heils. Well done for the injection of compassion and common sense

Pooooooops >>

I convinced myself yesterday that I had tingly tits. No sign of it this morning tho. Sigh. I might start a blog detailing my insane symptom spotting tendencies (because the colossal boil on my neck is obviously baybee related, and nothing to do with late nights/greasy food.