All new 30-something BESH buzwamcam action

[Muser]

Subscribe now for 24 hour buzwamcam footage! Sit back, relax, and admire these 30 something women go menkul during the 2WOOFL. Hot men and cold cocktails on tap.

Ocarina - the wimpiest comment I come out with is something like "We're not having a discussion here; I'm telling you what's going to happen", so that gives you a clue as to my psychopathic personality assertiveness Seriously, they were so fucking useless that at certain points in the various convos we had to have with them, TYF snatched the phone off me to harass them - and he's so shy and laid-back that he get nervous speaking to his own Mum on the phone! To be fair to us, if they'd done what their own code of practice says they should do, we should've been without broadband for less than 24 hours, not nearly 5 days

I hate all sport so am no help with Rugby chat, am afraid. I also find beefy men a massive turn-off so can't even watch for the phwoooargh factor!

Scorpette TYF sounds so much like the OM it's untrue. You should see his face when the phone goes and he knows it's his Mum: talk about the boy stood on the burning deck whence all but he had fled!

Hello Scorps. You sound like one scary moofah when you get going.

Ocarina, I've been watching the rugby all day long and now have square eyes and a headache. Was pretty pleased with the outcome really, being a Taff by birth.

GUSSETWATCH UPDATE SUNDAY 21 MARCH

1. No more spotting
2. Had a good rummage
3. Still no more spotting
4. Sense of disappointment
5. Sore boobs
6. Gradual realisation this might be owing to the incessant boob-prodding
7. POAS
8. Looked at Piss-Stick.
9. Kept looking at Piss-Stick

10. Alterations to angle of head made no difference to unavoidable fact of BFN 11. Vaguely wondered whether 7 days before period is a mite early 12. Creeping sense of foolishness 13. Sense of foolishness overwhelming 14. Resolved to stop symptom spotting and clean the kitchen floor 15. Decided cup of tea better option.

Happy sunday you BESHes. I've left the ingredient for White Russians in the pit. And David Mitchell with a cocktail shaker.

Ach well sorry about the N, but you can now have another 7 days of gussetwatch, Head the Baw.

I'm slightly sore of head this morning, after a night out with MrM, for a Japanese meal and onto a birthday party. Was good fun though. I think I might pass on the White Russian, but a chat with David would be nice (seriously, just a chat, he's a nice guy but not do-able)

You don't want more spotting HeadsShouldersKneesandToes. If it's implantation bleed you just want tiny bit then done.

And yes, 7 days before period a touch too early. But well done on your contribution to menkul symptom spotting.

I am very excited as MrM is on a plane and will be back in the UK this evening. Hooray! He's been in Singapore for NINE DAYS which is far too long and I have missed him hugely.

Now have to try and finish the work I have to do today before 5pm so I can surprise him at the airport. Wheeee!

Yay for the return of MrM - 9 days is a long time, I'm looking forward to TH being back after 2 days.

Headcase 7 days sounds a bit too keen, your challenge now is to keep away from the piss sticks for the rest of the week! (For the benefit of both your sanity and bank balance).

Nine days feels like forever. I will be very glad when it's over.

Where is everyone anyway? I'm working and there's nobody here to distract me. My break is almost over now. Must do another 20 minutes writing. The only way I can force myself to concentrate is by setting time limits on it.

9 days is about five days longer than the optimum 'oh goody house to myself I can watch/eat what I like' period. Hurrah for MrM returning. Will you cook a celebratory feast, Muse? I allus think of the food first....

Damn straight Ocstailsoup! I have decided to spend the money I WOULD have spent on wasted piss-sticks on a bag instead (I recently spent £45 on a spiffy Reiss handbag mostly because it was reduced from £189, but I hate it so much I actually get depressed carrying it. But then I HAVE to carry it because it cost me £45. You see my reasoning? No? Me neither....)

He's been on a plane for 14 hours. I doubt he'll do more than grunt and go to bed! But I am on my way to the airport to meet him as a surprise.

Huzzah for the return of MrM! But Boo to the end of the break (or are you bored and therefore it's another huzzah? I forget others aren't as lazy as me!) TYF will be away for a week over Easter - the thought of about 2 nights to myself slobbing about and stuffing my face whilst I watch girly crap is great but I know after that I will be a snivelling, bereft fool. Thank Gawd I have a hot date with PollyPocket then to keep me going

Headbanger - a haaaaandbaaaaag? I likey the fash chat. As an ex- personal stylist 'n' shopper (and fash whore in my own right), let me be your handbag guide; what size are you after? Price range? Style? What's your own personal 'look'?

Have I lost you yet?

Scorps - aha, now then

I lead a double life, d'you see. Part mad-haired long-skirted Tennyson spouting student layabout, part legal-related professional(ish) working girl. Also, I'm poor. Pandering to the latter part of my life (which, by the way, I loathe with a passion I can barely articulate) I bought a Reiss bag in very soft nude (slightly flesh-toned) leather. Gold brass fixings, long straps + solid handle, deep soft pleats, etc. No doubt highly suited to a moderately successful city girl who wears suits from Austin Reed, but so NOT ME I can't stand it. However as it cost me English farthings, I FORCE myself to use it. The whole fucking thing dictates what I wear. Today I carried it whilst wearing a tailored camel-coloured trench. PUKE PUKE PUKE. I feel so awkward I literally walk around blushing. Plus, tailored trench + smart bag looks preposterous with a floor length skirt, brogues, and hair birds could cheerfully nest in.

I want something ... something in battered chestnut coloured leather. Something poised exactly halfway between a satchel and a tote. Something that says, "Fuck you and your mortgage: I know how to use a gerund." Something that smells faintly of dust, carpets, Scotch, and paperbacks. Oh, and that costs about a tenner.

I do have one of these but you can't sling it over your shoulder so you get blistery fingers...

do you think Medee and Muser know that they're seeing the same guy?

sypathetic sympathetic

ha!

I'm certain mine's not been in Singapore!

That's what he tells you, Medee

Austin Reed Sorry, I had to go and have a lie down after that. You want to go Vintage, duckie. I have a bag that's exactly what you're describing and it cost me £35 from a vintage fair. Sadly, I heart it and you can't have it. I'm not so good with 'smart' - I have a phobia of suits and the like

THIS sort of thing Or THIS?

Ooooh, oooh, THIS!!! Want! Want!

I know, right? One day I'm gonna heave a brick through an AR window. There's a hell of a lot of 'em too round these here parts.

Oh yes I had the PERFECT vintage bag found on one of the many hours wasted spent on Etsy. But the straps keep coming off. Superglue and leather needles have not helped...

Yessm I like those. But a little too studenty, peut etre? I want something with, aussi, a touch of the lady about it. Mind you given the number of times I've peed on station platforms after a night out, carrying a ladylike bag could have me up before the magistrate under the Trades Descriptions Act .

Gawd bless your perfectly-positioned cashmere socks, you've inspired me to have a good old ebay trawl though . Or mebbe I'll swing by Brick Lane tomorrer, see what's what.

(And yes: only this very afternoon a pal and I were casting curses upon all women who wear a suit and shirt. Then put the collar of their shirt OVER the lapel of their suit. indeed!)

PS: I am v embarrassed by the amount of time I spend on this fred, and realise it says lots of very telling things about how dull my life is, of a weekend

what's wrong with shirt collar over the jacket lapel, Head?

Um well, I dunno really. It just somehow ended up as shorthand ('mongst me & pals) for, you know. 15 denier American Tan tights, and sensible court shoes with a mid-heel, and those fawn-coloured trouser suits that look a bit synthetic and sort of raspy. And a jaunty chiffon scarf.

However, as I look quite a lot like a tramp most of the time, I can 'ardly talk!

thank god I don't wear synthetic fawn then. Tomorrow's clothes: black trouser suit, sharp white shirt, with collar over the lapel, proper high heels (Kenneth Cole ones). I'm hedging my bets as I don't what the dress code is of the thing I am going to tomorrow.

I have been known to wear a scarf though!

Oh that sounds v v chic. Black + heels always a winner. The only thing I know for sure I will be wearing tomorrow is my prized pair of lace-up brogues from Clarke's . . . So as you can see, I'm in a glass house, heaving bricks all over the shop! I'll be seeing a pal's newborn. Perhaps I'll add waterproof mascara to the ensemble. . .

probably wise! I got a bit choked up catching up on OBEM. And someone else has FB'd that they are pregnant, grr.

I fear that my reproductive organs are the only mature thing about me: I wear collars turned up ironically, chiffon scarves over my hair 60's-housewife-stylee and wear knackered white converse boots (yes, to work) or hyper-fashion daftness like tan leather 'n' wood block-heeled platform sandals over knee-high grey socks (so Celine! So Miu Miu!). I don't do heels - I like being short and my feet can't take them after years of dance training.

Tomorrow's work outfit: grey 'schoolgirl' minidress, canary yellow tights, battered white lace-ups, ironic Princess Anne hairdo and big fake pearl earrings. There's no point attempting 'classy' or 'smart' when you're a midget with a baby face and hair like an 18C Aborigine.

We're bored tonight, huh?

Now, I do like the sound of that, Scorpie.

In my moments of fantasy I too would adopt such outfits: however, I think you need to be petite. Alas, I resemble nothing so much as a large, pink contented sow

Ooo I did make it onto an internet style blog once but since I never actually wore that outfit in public, it was a bit of a cheat.

Gussetwatch: Nothing.

Buzwamcam: Sore.