Morning Beshlets. Cho and Gin I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time. Cho I hope today goes well and you get an appt through soon for counselling.
GinnyGinGinGin I hope you are feeling a bit better after a (fingers crossed) Good Nights Sleep. I also sometimes wonder if I am indeed insane for thinking I could cope with another baybee, but then I remember that all this stress and shit is precisely because I do not have the babybee, and if I did I would be all happy happy joy joy.
My sleep patterns have gone to shit - my temp chart looks like Iris has been scribbling on it. TG says its because I snore so horrendously since carrying Iris that I am constantly disturbing my sleep - he actually wears earplugs every night, it's that bad. I actually went to the doc about yesterday as I am sleeping so much but am constantly knackered, like crying-falling-over tired. The doc didn't actually laugh when I told her about the snoring, but instead gave me a nasal spray to try for a month. I hope it works because I can't sit down without falling asleep. [pathetic twat emoticon>
Well I went to Baybee Ava last night. Newborns usually make me want to run to the hills screaming whilst tying knots in my own fallopian tubes, but she was so utterly gorgeous and tiny I burst into tears. If I am not pregnant this month I forecast another utter fuckin meltdown. btw I did not take piss bout the name, as like wise Gin said, Mai is actually a proper name (like Mani ), not made up twattery.
Aries in answer to your question my sis is 7 years younger than me but has been ttc for about 6 years and needed IVF so I could never begrudge her her baybee. However, when I found out she was pregnant, I'd just found out my hormone levels were ridiculously high and it was unlikely I'd conceive again without help (we'd been trying for around 15 months by then) so although I was pleased for her I am ashamed to say my tears of 'joy' were (hopefully disguised) tears of bitter self loathing and hatred directed at my dessicated eggs and womb. I did spend most of her pregnancy panicking that baybee would arrive and I would still not be pregnant. The thought was enough to reduce me to tears instantly. And lo it comes to pass. FFS. But actually, once the due date got closer I became more and more excited for them and was really looking forward to meeting my niece. I just feel genuinely delighted for them and there is no 'other side' to it iykwim (thank fucking god). I think maybe it was easier she is my sis and we're close? If it was twatty sister or an acquaintance I'd probably be curled in a corner sobbing over a used tampon right about now.
Sorry that was rather long. I must be channelling Scorpy in her absence.