To TTC or not to TTC, that is one of the many questions...

[YorkshireTeaDrinker]

Ok fellow ditherers, as we have filled up one thread (and still not made too many firm decisions) here's another one for us to continue to procrastinate and worry on.

Here's to more monitoring of relative green and redness, mutual support and occassional chivving, discussion of everything baby or not baby related, and perhaps even our first BFP...?

Quick elicit work rant post.

We have a second viewing tonight at 6.15 and two more viewings lined up for Friday. A lot of the people who have seen it say that the garden is too small, especially those who have kids. I am inclined to agree. I am also starting to think it has been deliberately overvalued... possibly to make it seem more appealing to sell the house through them. We cocked up by now having several agents round although, in fairness, they're all as bad as each other - the one's we bought this house from were horredous and we just wanted to get it sold. Ocean have the most boards up in our area with sold signs on, so we went with them.

We had a look at the list the agent first gave us with houses sold in the area. It has the house, the date it went on and the date it was sold and the price is was on for but not the price it went for. On closer inspection, these two pages (yes, TWO PAGES) of houses are the same three or maybe four houses, just listed differently. Sometimes the pic has been reversed, sometimes it has the date it went on the market but no end time for it being on the market and it is deliberately misleading.

I am going to go on Friday and ask to speak to the manager. Then I am going to hand him this list and get HIM to explain to ME why I am cross. Then I shall say that we are not paying them commission for them to bull sh*t us. I shall also state that I do not expect to have to go through everything with a fine tooth comb to make sure they are not conning us or skirting round the facts.

I also think we are going to drop the price, possibly to about £265,00 - but! I will discuss this with Ocean first and make sure we get the REAL prices of what has sold for what. And if this means them telling me one thing so I make them go on-line and PROVE IT while I am sat there, then so be it.

They act like kids, they will be treated like kids.

Grrr.....

LST - hope all well?

SeaGreen - are you referring to her 'cramping' that LST mentioned? I first read that with worry and then re-read it and think she meant 'cramming' for her exam(s) instead.

Least I hope so...

I read it as 'cramping' as in womb-stuff, and I hoped that meant the chucky eggs may be burrowing down, but maybe she meant cramming, like you say!

That estate agents sounds like a NIGHTMARE and Im very on your behalf. Go and shout at them, loudly.

i thought it was cramping like eggs burrowing, as HO SP said..
confused thought you might like fimo heaven here!

Oooh, maybe she does mean her eggs are burrowing (how weird does that sound?!) instead?

LST please enlighten us!

Yes, the agents are twunts (a MN word I've picked up!) and I shall let them know what I think. I have already had to breathe down their necks to rewrite the details as the first version was shite. For example 'the hall floors consist of two rooms leading off' for example, which doesn't make much sense, and 'tastefully furnished bathroom' which tells buyers nothing and, a cracker this one, 'the back garden is accessed from the house' - as opposed to where? Next door? An underground tunnel?

And they are not getting much better.

I would say we'd just move to somewhere else but we really need to move asap and they do have the most 'sold' signs around. But, as they will get about £2500 for selling our house they can STOP TELLING LIES AND EFFING WORK FOR IT.

Anyone got any Rescue Remedy?

Oh yes, and if we lower the price a bit we may not be able to do the new place up (or a lot of the new place) and then move it. Instead, we'll have to move in first and wait a bit. Not the end of the world and, while the new house is very worn and dated it's not inhabitable but it's a bit of a shame as I was hoping to do LOADS before we moved in proper. C'est la vie!

Back later this evening,

Hi folks,

I did mean cramping - sadly not necessarily a good sign re. burrowing (!) as they (cramps) are probably the most common side effect of the progesterone treatment I'm on - but not a bad sign at this stage (particularly without accompanying AF!). Just bloody inconvenient when I'm trying so hard to think, remember and sleep! I also look ridiculous walking hobbling down the street wincing every time I hit a raised paving stone (TMI, possibly?!).

Anyway, enough of that. Exam was ok - not great, and I'm a bit of a perfectionist with these things so have spent most of the day kicking myself for missing out this and that - but frankly the fact I wrote stuff down for two hours at all is a minor miracle at the moment so should be pleased, or at least relieved. I'm sure it was MN vibes keeping me going.

God the estate agents sound horrendous, confused. Give 'em hell. Sounds like you've got a good plan on that front, anyway! But how annoying.

OK, off to bed super-early but thanks for the good wishes (and concern) xx

Wow, loads to catch up on!

LST how was it? Hope your eggs are still cooking away nicely too.

Confused Felt really angry for you when I read the post about your estate agents. Grr! When we were selling our old house DH actually had to march in their once, caught the estate agent with his feet up on his desk (like who bloody does that in a office that's literally on the street?) and said that we were effed off with being effed around.

SeaGreen how are you doing? Love all your posts with home decor.

We are also going to be doing the bathroom up soon, DH and his dad are going to do it (I just thank my stars we have another bathroom next to the bedroom, not sure how long I could do weeing in a bucket but i guess that would give them more incentive. Anyway, I love the idea of a chandelier in the bathroom, how glam! And its not exactly not child friendly is it?! Not like they'll be able to reach it or anything.Went to the Grand designs show at Excel this weekend just gone, it was pretty good. In fact I know that my in-laws picked up the name & details of someone who does that splashback glass - confused were you looking for that? not sure how much it is but the in laws are having it in their kitchen and DH said that this guy's prices didnt seem too bad although I guess that would depend on how much you needed. I can try and get the details if you fancy?

Right, im off to bed. I have been chasing around what I thought what some kind of gnat and turned out to be a feather. Clearly its time to go...zzz

Just been catching up on the interior design thread! Confused the house you are selling looks fab and I am sure you'll be able to do a similar job on the one in Hebden. Give the estate agents what for. Hopefully you'll be heading up to the glorious North before too long. Seagreen I will be making use of your knowledge when we finally move on from building works and start thinking about decorating!

LQ sorry to hear about your testing scare. We have avoided the whole issue by just refusing the Downs screening. I was not keen cos I am not prepared to terminate under any circumstances and DH thought that the maths didn't add up (risk of m/c via amnio was higher than the possibe risk of Downs that prompts the test) so we decided to save ourselves the worry and just by pass the test. Obviously, that means we still don't know eitehr way, but there is a much stronger likelihood that we will have a healthy child than not and, if not, I'm sure we'll manage and love our baby, whatever it's abilities.

HP when are you seeing the doc about your pain and bleeding? I'm no expert, but I dont think that having an asortment of pains at different times of the month is normal and you do need it to be looked into. All outcomes and decisions are possible for ditherers, but you do need to make sure you get any possible problems looked into and resovled, so you can decide to have kids or no, rather than have your body make the decision for you.

Now, LST, I am goign to be quite stern with you. Firstly, I hope you have takem LQ's advice and taken time to wind down tonight and are now fast asleep. Secondly, I don't want to hear you saying that you shouldn't be whinging. You have a whole lot on your plate at the moment and it would be amazing if you weren't occasionally down, worried or fed up. Don't apologise and do keep sounding off here. I think you are handling things really well and am so hoping for success. I hope that your cramps are a positive sign and that you have a very busy embryo in there getting on with the business of implanting and starting to grow.

Right, the House of Commons may be wide awake, but its high time I wasn't. I'm heading off bedwards now. Night all.

LST I am hoping like mad the cramping is a goos sign, I really am! I won't say more than that (for now) as, really, nobody knows and we can speculate forever.

I have just been watching a documentary on Pablo Escobar and am now well overdue for my bed.

So, I'll no doubt be back tomorrow!

Night!

ps the bit about the gnat and feather made me chuckle!

Evening All,

What a crazy few days in the world of politics - Ive been gripped. Loved last nights dash to the Queen and the Britishness of it all.

Hope you aren't suffering too badly from the cramps today, LST, and that you are working on your pre-sleeping relaxation technique. Also, yeahhhh, the street name...

I cant believe you were up at 23.25, YTD, has the tiredness eased these days or was it a matchsticks-propping-the-eyelids-open night?

My doctors appointment is in 10 days. I dont know what to make of it all really. I havent had the mystery pain since Ive been taking the NSAIDs, well, a grade 3 last time, but no worse. Its the underlying cause of it that worries me. But the bleeding also isnt good. Ive stopped now, so once again it started two days after the end of my period, then lasted three days. It seems to stop before ovulation though. Anyway, I guess I will see what she says but I was going to try to push for some tests. I know you can do Day 3 and Day 21 blood tests for LH/FSH and progesterone, and then there is the scanning to see if there is anything else in there. Apart from that, I will have to be guided by her.

I have to say, I'm so glad that you all yelled at encouraged me to come off the pill, as if there is something not quite right I would still have no clue. Like you say, if I decide not to have children, I'd like it to be my decision, not my bodies, if you see what I mean.

Anyway, hope you are all having a good evening - Im planning my work for tomorrow as Im suddenly worried about how much work I have to get through in the next few months.

It has indeed been crazy. I filled up when Gordon resigned and then did his leaving speech. You'd have to be pretty hard hearted not to, I think! I didn't think he was Prime Minister material myself, regardless of his politics I felt he didn't have the presence or charisma. However, this does not mean I am pleased about 'just call me Dave'...

YTD I was wilting at that time so am very impressed with your staying awake abilities!

LST I have been Googling 'IVF and cramping' on the sly at work, and it appears to be neither a sign of good or bad. It could be either (thank goodness) so lets hope it's the good news! I suspect we're all going to be on the edge of our seats the day you can take a test to find out for sure - I'll certainly be mentally holding your hand when the time comes. Yikes!

HP SP we can all now sit about nodding and saying 'everything happens for a reason' and us all being bossy can be the reason for you fully (lets gloss over 'Pill-Gate) and coming off the pill. It all sounds very weird, although admittedly this won't neccessarily be the view of someone who knows about these things. I know I'd be crushed if I couldn't have them, and it's not even as if I know I do want them either. Like you say, it would be nice for it to be your decision rather than your bodies.

As it is looking likely that we won't be able to take the time off and do the house in Hebden up as soon as we move, which is what we did hope, I am now wondering afresh when or if to have a baby. DH now seems keen, and I suspect this may pass over to me (at the moment it still seems very pie in the sky due to still being in this house and not moved yet etc etc) when things are more settled but the house needs LOADS of work and would we be able to do it and babies? I am 36 in September too which makes me feel as if sooner is better to get cracking in case it takes a long time, but it's going to take a while to do the house and it really needs doing - as you can see from the pics (it's more so in real life.)

YTD how's your DIYing coming along? And have you felt able to get stuck in too? Am wondering if I'd feel like shit for months and be incapable, leaving my very capable but incredibly slow DH to do it instead.

Or am I just coming up with yet more obstacles...?!

ps I think the 'New Mum Gems' thread has made me come over all green! Well, green-ish anyway!

Dont ask me, C, Im the obstacle queen!

I wonder if the people who occasionally read this thread (we know they are out there, we have met a few, ) just sometimes yell at the screen 'OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE JUST DO IT"????

Just out of interest, do you feel like you are leaning more towards a decision, more than when we started chatting last August? Im not sure I am, if Im honest. Sigh.

Oh, I was just reading that. All the stuff about needing to pour a jug of water over your bits when you have a wee was a bit

The baby stuff was cute though.

I was up late as I couldn't go to bed until the Westminster drama had unfolded. Politics has never been so interesting. Also slept most of yesterday afternoon, having been sent home from work for having dizzy dos at my desk. Have taken it as a hint from my body that I need to slow down a bit (sorting out the various tradesmen who are ripping apart our kitchen is causing me a bit more anxiety than I'd expected) I took today off and have spent it alternately watching events at No 10 and snoozing. I think I'm beginning to find that you just can't carry on like you always have done when you're pregnant - it takes it out of you!

HP I got as far as the LH/FSH with my investigations, before we sorted ourselves out and didn't require further assistance. I think you would definately need some sort of internal investigation (laparoscopy? ultrasound?) as well. But the doc will no doubt tell you what they can do. I think it would probably help to imply that you are TTC or about to, as that might help to prioritise the investigations.

Hope everyone is well and enjoying the constitutional sideshow.

Look after yourself, young lady.

(I will lead the doc to believe that TTC is on the cards in the near future, like you say, may get things shifting. Really, really hope the dildocam doesnt get waved around....)

You know what, sometimes its not just the lurkers who want to yell at the screen sometimes HP and Confused!

Although, you are both in a different place to last August. For one, I think you both have DHs who are a lot more pro child than last year. Also, I think perhaps you are both tending to look at the reasons not to a bit more now, rather than reasons for. I think there may have been a slight shift greenwards. Not into a regularly green zone, but I think the neutral zone may be slightly centre green, rather than centre red?

Maybe that's a consequence of the red / green coalition that has emerged on these boards, bringing us all closer to the TTC centre ground? Or maybe I've just been watching too much News 24 recently?

I love the Dithering Party Politics.

Back - was watching Jamie Oliver and had a dog snuggled on my lap so didn't want to wake her up getting my laptop.

Am I leaning more towards a decison than we were last August? Hmmm. I guess, the short answer is yes but it doesn't feel like a 'yes.'

I think it is that I dont want to not do it, but that hasn't filled me with an urge to get cracking either. Also, over the course of us starting to chat about it both me and DH have been both pro and against - he is as bad as me, YTD, trust me! - which hasn't helped the decision process.

Sometimes I'd love to - reading threads like the one we've just mentioned can have that effect - and other times I think I simply don't want to have something that will complicate my life and make things potentially more tricky in every sense (even just going to the loo on my own!)

Oooh, realised I forgot to add either (please don't get too excited) that I got my friends to call the estate agents. We got her to ask certain things about location, development potential, how long it's been on the market and so on and she said that the agent was 'excellent.' The woman she spoke to was apparently very knowledgable, full of praise about how things like the cupboards etc were 'of very high quality' (they actually cost us £15 for the lot, all 18 doors, on Ebay; we just sanded them down and then repainted them) and said the trains (we are in front of a train track but you don't hear it unless you are trying to) 'slowed down a lot as they get to the junction further along so aren't noisy and also the house has secondary glazing so noise is at a minimum anyway' and so on and so forth.

Very pleased, I have to say!

Now in two minds about going in tomorrow - this has put me off the boil so far.

Lastly, and I have been putting off writing this but if the inevitable happens I'll wish I mentioned it before, my grandad (89) has a cyst type thing on his shoulder which has been diagnosed as a skin cancer. We don't know the details of what kind and the conotations but my mum's going with him and my grandma next Wednesday to the consultants. My grandad is wearing out, basically, although mentally is almost just as quick, and I've been thinking he's not going to last much longer for quite a while now (a few years at least.) Obviously I will be utterly devestated when he goes, but I also realise noone can carry on forever. His health is now pretty poor and he isn't able to do much and there comes a point where the cure is worse than the problem (if he has to have a skin graft for this shoulder thing for example.)

Still horrid but it's life and it's not a bolt out the blue whatever happens.

Er.... bave I managed to kill the thread?!

No, petal, I was going to reply last night, but ended up nipping out and it was late when I got in.

Sorry to hear about your grandad, its really tough at this point in a loved ones life, Im going through the same with an elderly relative of my own and its heartbreaking - you just want them to live forever. xx

Better go, am at work.

PS> I held a baby yesterday, and was told 'just go for it, HP".....

Thanks - it's nice to know someone else is in a similar position, horrid as it is.

Can't wait to hear about this baby holding!

Also have to go as at work - maybe back this evening (friends for dinner later on but maybe before then I'll be about)

Am home now, with a clean house and good food cooking!

Did you decide to yell at the scummy estate agent, C, or did you decide against it? Bloody agents, they are such a nightmare, but at least that woman your friend spoke to seemed to be doing a good job.

Hope LSTs exams have all gone well, it's such a good feeling when they are all out of the way, isn't it?

Haven't heard from Suerock for a while, wonder if there is any news on the job front. Or even the baby front, you never know! Hey, Suerock, you should move here (you know where )!

Hopefully YTD is sat on that comfy chair and is taking it easy. I will do my stern voice, otherwise

Yes. I held a baby. The parent kind of chucked it at me in a kind of 'let's see what HP makes of this then' way. Little did they know, I am very confident when it comes to holding babies, it's pushing them out of my bits that I'm less keen on! Anyway, the baby was very sweet, and I only thought about running off with it for a fleeting moment.....But the parent was like 'Oh, you are so ready'. Hmmmm.

Finally, before I go and eat, you know that bit of research that showed that women tend to dress diferently around ovulation. I'm ashamed to say that today, I was that woman . Totally without thinking, I left the house in my tightest clothes. And went to work. Oh, the shame.