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Conception

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Original poster

Waiting to TTC part 2!

981 replies

bebejones · 05/02/2010 15:53

Shiney new thread before we drop off the end of the last one!

OP posts:
AmandaCooper · 02/03/2010 00:16

It's not that long, and now the worst of the winter (hopefully) behind us, we should all cheer up a bit and the next six months shouldn't be too much to bear. Come the end of the summer we can start properly preparing and by then we'll only have two or three more cycles left to wait.

AmandaCooper · 02/03/2010 07:56

Pipoca I think the thing with MN is don't let the tail wag the dog, basically work out what you want to get out of it and work out how to get it. Don't dip into the TTC threads - certainly don't sit and read them, or revisit them every day. They will only give you a warped perception of how difficult it is for the average person to fall pregnant.

One good thing I got out of this forum already is that many people's OH's aren't all that keen on the plan to have a baby. DH has told me twice in the last two days that he wants to put the plan back by another year. I just replied that we are trying from December, it will take at least 9 months and everything will be fine. Bless him.

Anyway it's a lovely morning, hope you ladies all have a nice day, wherever you are x

pipoca · 02/03/2010 08:12

It's quite spring like here actually too! AmandaCooper* I know what you mean, I think you read on here about people taking ages and think you might too, but I think you have to wait til you're ready in case you get pregnant immeadiately.

After getting carried away and then swept up in the excitement, cold hard reality has sunk in (i.e, I don't really want it to happen just yet) I think we're back to waiting a little longer before really going for it. Going to try to hang out til at least May, but going to start the folic acid now.

I don't chart or temp cos I'm way too lazy and I think it really is the route to total obssession! . There's no way I'd keep my broodiness in check if I temp'd or charted. (not doin too well as it is.)
From now on, am off the other ttc threads and going to try and keep sane for a few more months. At the moment I've got enough on my hands with work, a toddler and other stuff, without getting pregnant sooner than I really want.

I don't think 9 months is long to wait at all really, it was my orginal idea before finances improved slightly and put us back to being able to go for it from May/June or even slightly earlier. Now we're more back to when we could cope with 2 in terms of childcare, tiredness etc.

frakkinaround · 02/03/2010 11:53

Well I'm still tehcnically waiting!

I think men get scared off more easily than women because we prepare by tracking our cycles, taking folic acid, preparing to conceive - then we spring on them that we want to start having Sex With Intent and they need to go through the process that we went through about 3 months beforehand while we get frustrated waiting for them to catch up.

AmandaCooper · 02/03/2010 19:48

Ooh how weird to have one of your reasons for waiting suddenly disappear. I don't know what I'd do if I somehow got a windfall, I wouldn't be mentally prepared, that's for sure! I think after obsessing down to the nth detail it would be pretty difficult to just think "oh right scrap that, let's get on with it now!". I might even pull one of those faces so frequently worn by DH!

I don't think it's any surprise that the men aren't wholly enthusiastic about the whole thing. They don't have the evil hormones and they don't have the constant worrying about time running out. If I was DH I'd be asking for another year too!

What's everyone planning to do about maternity leave and childcare arrangements by the way? I'm hoping to take six months off and then reduce my hours a bit so that DC actually recognises me! It's an expensive business!

pipoca · 02/03/2010 19:58

Amanda are you waiting to ttc your first? I think I've been working up to this for a while you see, as we'd always planned to go for number 2 any time from Jan this year depending on various factors. I went freelance last summer and it was really slow at first so thought we'd have to wait til at least October but things have suddenly taken off so we could go for any time in the next few months.
One of the reasons not to have gotten pregnant any earlier than now is that DS will start nursery in Sept and I may get HG again this pregnancy so I'd like some childcare in place if I'm in the early stages of pregnancy and if I'm further on, just for a rest! Also will help with work if he's at nursery in the morning.
Will take the standard stat leave here in Spain of 16 weeks but may do freelance stuff before then and invoice later, depending on how things go.

AmandaCooper · 03/03/2010 07:59

That kind of makes it sound like one of a series! Yes it would be our first child. You sound like you're in a good position actually, with a date in mind that's not too far away and which you're not too strictly tied to. HB sounds awful, my friend had it through all three of her pregnancies and spent a chunk of time in the hospital. If DS is in nursery it will take the load off.

It's interesting that you're in Spain. Are you Spanish, or just living there? I used to live in Fuengirola near Malaga and really missed it when we came back to the UK.

pipoca · 03/03/2010 09:00

Not Spanish, from the UK but married to a Spaniard and been here for 10 years.
Won't be a series for me. 2 will be QUITE enough thank you!

frakkinaround · 04/03/2010 06:51

I plan to be a SAHM (I want 2 or 3 in quick succession) and maybe teach part-time but DH's career means we move a lot, at least for the next 10 years, so I wouldn't be able to establish a career anyway. We'll probably get an au pair to help out especially for when DH is at sea, but I've warned him they'll have to meet my strict standards (I was a nanny until we moved here!).

Paid mat leave here is rubbish, but you can take up to 2 years off unpaid.

AmandaCooper · 04/03/2010 15:33

Gosh it never even crossed my mind to be a SAHM! My mum was at home with me up to the age of about five. I've just always had it in my head that I'm coming back to work, I can't imagine it any other way. I suppose I might feel differently once DC actually comes along.

AmandaCooper · 04/03/2010 18:26

I don't mean that in a bad way I hasten to add, I'm just amazed it never occurred to me as an option when not that long ago it would have been the norm.

Original poster
bebejones · 04/03/2010 19:22

I always thought I would go back to work. But am a SAHM, mostly because for a long time I haven't been well enough to go back to work. But now I want to retrain I'm thinking I will wait until having DC is done. I think it'd be unfair of me to train & get qualified then bugger off straight away to have more babies! Plus if DC are older I won't feel so bad leaving them to do career things!

OP posts:
pipoca · 04/03/2010 19:26

I thought before I had DS that I'd not want to work full time and wasn't sure if I'd want to be a SAHM or not. As it turns out, much as I love my DS with all my heart and enjoy spending time with him, I would go out of my tiny mind if I had to look after him full time and not work. I really really don't know how women do it. All credit to them, but it's not for me.
I had 6 months mat leave and that was good and then went back part time to a job I hated...not so good, but I liked having somewhere to go and something else to think about at least part time. Now I'm freelance and work from home and it's perfect. DH is currently unemployed so he does the childcare and I LOVE using my brain, earning some money and having some time away. But more than anything I like using my brain.
Sorry, that sounds like I mean SAHMs don't use their brains, you know what I mean..I like having something else to think about apart from mum related things.

Original poster
bebejones · 04/03/2010 19:34

I do some work for my DH occasionally & that's lovely to use my brain. I do get a bit bored & I miss adult conversation. I just try & keep busy with 'projects'. Doing a textiles commission for my mum at the moment which is interesting & I am enjoying. Although I doubt I will get paid much (if anything) for it, probably just expenses! But at least it's keeping me out of trouble!

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AmandaCooper · 05/03/2010 19:24

You see this is the bit I'm really trying not to overthink. If I try to work out how to manage the childcare arrangements, I'll only realise how ludicrous the idea of trying in December is and reschedule for 2020!

Anyway, enough about waiting to TTC for now, what's everyone's plans for the weekend?

pipoca · 05/03/2010 19:39

Would childcare be very complex then Amanda? If my DH gets work then our childcare arrangements will get a lot more complicated! As far as this weekend goes, I'll be a) working and b) having Sunday lunch with the PILs.

AmandaCooper · 05/03/2010 20:17

I've no idea. It might be that our families would help out, but we can't assume that, cause our mums have got a lot on their plates already. I wouldn't want DC in childcare for twelve hours a day every weekday, so I'd have to change my working hours, but I'd still need to earn enough cover my loan repayments. Now look what you made me do, I said I was trying not to overthink it ha ha.

AmandaCooper · 05/03/2010 21:57

That sounds like a rubbish weekend btw!

pipoca · 05/03/2010 22:19

Yes, I've had better.

AmandaCooper · 05/03/2010 22:48

We've been seeing rather a lot of my in-laws recently so I feel your pain!

SaorAlba · 05/03/2010 22:58

I'm meeting my DP's mum for the first time next week

He hasn't seen her in six years, so this should be an interesting experience for all involved.

Original poster
bebejones · 06/03/2010 07:06

In law packed weekend here for me too! Feeling tired & irritable today as DD has woken up before 6.30 everyday this week! Weds she was awake at 5am!! Bloody teething...nightmare! Hope everyone has a good weekend whatever they are doing!

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AmandaCooper · 06/03/2010 07:39

Oh dear I hope she's not putting you off the idea of DC2?! Can't imagine that every day - even on the massive hangover mornings and the late-to-bed or up-in-the-night mornings. How do you do it?

Original poster
bebejones · 06/03/2010 17:52

It's just a massive shock to the system at the moment as she is usually a brilliant sleeper & not normally awak til 7.30-8am. She has been brilliant at night & used to sleep 6-7 hours at night from about 4 weeks old. Stupid MS makes me massively tired though & I'm really feeling the effect of the lack of a couple of hours sleep! We have been quite lucky that she has been very good with teething up to now. It's the big fang ones (canines?!) that are coming & had been warned that they are the worst ones! Will all be over with soon! Nothing could put me off DC2!

Been to my nephews 1st birthday tea today & eaten lots of crap lovely food that I shouldn't have!

OP posts:
AmandaCooper · 07/03/2010 08:18

That sounds lovely, did DN enjoy his party? Must be a puzzle for them why we suddenly have a random gathering! I've got my friend's baby's Christening this morning. I'm so excited, I've been up since the crack of dawn. DH is still snoring (the pattern of things to come no doubt!

Am feeling terribly guilty though about having spent quite a lot of money on a new dress to wear for it (it all comes out of the saving-up-for-a-baby fund). I'm trying to convince myself that I can wear it again for two weddings etc.