Waiting to TTC part 2!

[bebejones]

Shiney new thread before we drop off the end of the last one!

was just wondering that too. Everyone I know seems to be going for a 2 year gap, which to me is just horrendous. Get sick of people saying 2 years is best "cos otherwise DC1 gets jealous" as it's such tosh...depends on the kids you have. I think jealously probably more likely with a smaller gap as they're too little to understand about new arrival. sorry, can you tell it pisses me off?
Anyway we're going for a 3 yr ish gap. If I got pg straight away then it would be 3 yr 1 mth.
Feeling really quite broody today.

Been to a friends DS' 1st birthday party, lots of kids and little babies everywhere! Not good for the broodiness! If I got PG straight away there would be about a 3yr 2mth age gap. I would have been happy with 2yrs 2mth as was the original plan but actually this 'new' plan will work out well as I am highly unlikely to have 2 in nappies. Plus I think it'll be easier for DD as she will have a better understanding and won't be so dependant on me/DH. Two under 2 would be my absolute nightmare, anyone who does that must be a saint!

No I don't fancy two in nappies. I like the idea of DC1 safely out of the way at nursery before DC2 (if there ever is such a thing) comes along! It's swings and roundabouts though, once they're a bit older there's a lot to be said for them being close in age. Don't fancy trying to find the money for two lots of childcare at once though.

3 years will work out quite well for us on a childcare front. DD will start preschool in Feb next year & she will be in school by the time we would have to pay for pre school for DC2. Sometimes I do think that having 2 really close would be lovely though!!

See, I just cannot see the attraction of 2 close together. I think it's this idea that they'll get on really well, but I really don't think age has ANYTHING to do with how they'll get on, like I say, I think a smaller gap is possibly more likely to induce jealousy in DC1 as they're too young to understand why Mummy has other things to do now. I think you go for it when the time is right for YOU, be that 2 years or 4 years or whatever. I've got one rather tactless friend (not so much of a friend anymore after a little incident last week, but I'll tell you about that later) who really pisses me off cos when I say we're waiting to have at least a 3 year gap, she totally bluntly says that's not a good idea cos DC1 will be jealous...like it's a scientific fact. Surprise surprise she has a 2 year gap.

I personally like the fact that if we have another then DS will be starting nursery in Sept, which is about the earliest I could possibly be pregnant, so I'll have some childcare during pregnancy and then he'kll be well settled into nursery by the time DC2 arrived and going to school (they go at 3 or 4 here) the following year. So I would only pay one lot of childcare at a time (and even then it's heavily subsidised).

Think I only want 2 closer coz I think having a little baby again would be so lovely!!!

Pipoca - completely agree with you about the gap really, having some childcare whilst PG would be fab. I think DD having something to occupy her & some time out of the house so that I can spend time with a newborn (without ignoring her & her needs) would be really beneficial for everyone.

Hi, just thought I'd pop back in to offer my two pence worth....my DS and DD are just 15 months apart and no jealousy at all. In fact DS adored his sister and loved to tuck her in, kiss her, bring her toys etc. They are still very close (sure they fight on occasion, but what siblings don't?). I don't think there are any 'givens' when having your family, it depends on personalities rather than a prescribed age gap.

Given my DD's personality (stroppy & strong willed little madam ) I think for her & for the sake of my sanity waiting is probably the best thing (even though it isn't what I wanted originally). Tanmu82 you have my upmost respect anyone with 2 under 2 must be a saint, although like you said it depends on the personality of your DCs! One of my SILs has 4 under 6, ages (just)6, 5, 3 & 1!! Don't know how she does it!

it was hard work - but equally rewarding, and much easier now, prob easier than if they were different ages as they are into pretty mucht the same things and entertain eachother really well. I do know a girl who has 3 under 3 - now that is something!

I had my scan on Friday and baby is doing well - got some lovely pics and feeling very reassured x

hello tanmu great to hear from you and that things are going well, how far along are you? I agree, my neighbour has a 15 mo gap btw her DSs (accidentally) and apparently they get along fab. It annoys me when people TELL you that only a small gap will mean they'll get on well, as it's clearly to do with personality. But the ex friend thing is more just that she's a bit like that, she's always pronouncing on something like that and doing the "oh well, what would you know, you only got one child, I've done all this twice before" attitude.

and I know what you mean bebe the reason I'm on this thread is because I really started to want another around Christmas but knew that for us as a family I needed to slap some serious sense into myself nad wait a bit longer.

Tanmu nice to have you back good news about the scan - how exciting! I know someone with three under three as well and here's me wondering how I could ever adapt to life with one! I guess with timing DC2 you just have to use your intuition and hope for the best.

Hi everyone

I am now firmly in the waiting to ttc category. Me and DP were going somewhere in the car yesterday so I got him to agree to this being my last pack of pills, then a month on condoms after that to find out about cycle length, then TTC!

So I figure (if I have 28 day cycles) We're looking at starting to ttc 56 days from now. Ish. Not that I'm counting.

Morning SaorAlba 56 days is a short time. I assume you've got planned a boozy and action packed Last Two Months Of Freedom?!

I can't imagine being that close - but I realised yesterday that my sister's wedding is now only six weeks away, which means that it's now well over nine months that I've been waiting and it's actually gone quite quickly.

I actually don't think there ever is a 'right' time, you just work with what you have - it's not like you can change it! I am now 14 weeks along and sickness came on with a vengeance the last couple of weeks. seems to be subsiding a little now, but I am still nowhere near 'blooming' just yet....

It's weird actually Amanda, now that it's so close I don't want to go out and get boozed up or anything. I'm thinking about cutting down on alcohol so that I'm healthier for when we start to try. (Not that we have that much, but a couple of beers 2-3 evenings a week must be having some effect).

Have just realised that if my cycles are 'normal' and 28 days ish, and if they settle down immediately after coming off the pill which is not likely, then we'd be starting to TTC slap bang in the middle of our summer holiday with my parents. Could be interesting sharing a house with them then!

When are you planning to start Amanda? tanmu When did you start telling people you're pg?

I'm planning to start from December (admittedly not ideal timing for all the Christmas and New Year shenanigans!). My timetable for the year looks like this:

May - Adapt exercise regime to include yoga or pilates; find new flat, ideally with a lift; pay off final installment of overdraft and put first savings into bank; attend sister's hen do in London.

June - Move into new flat; pay savings into bank; attend sister's wedding and dear childhood friend's wedding in Ireland.

July - Holiday in Spain for first wedding anniversary; pay savings into bank; Rubella test.

August - Last month on the pill (last pill date 6 August); pay savings into bank; go to dentist for check-up.

September - Start charting cycle; pay savings into bank.

October - Doctor to check rubella immunity; smear test; pay savings into bank; to Las Vegas for DH's 30th birthday, following which DH to cut down smoking and drinking and start zinc supplements.

November - My 33rd birthday; final month before TTC; pay savings into bank.

December - Assuming smear, rubella, etc all clear, start TTC.

Just realised that work's Christmas party is on 17 December. Might wait till after the festivities, and drink very moderately, so as not to ruin all good work but at the same time not to arouse suspicion!

I know there are people who'll say we don't want a baby desperately enough if we don't try at the first opportunity. I don't mean to offend anyone.

I can appreciate that if we don't go to Spain and Las Vegas we could start ttc slightly sooner, but this is the timetable we've agreed for a number of reasons.

Amanda... you're so organised!

I wouldn't say that putting off trying doesn't mean that you don't want a baby desperately enough. Surely it's better a LO coming into a home where the parents are at least financially ready, if the parents have the opportunity to make that choice.

We haven't really thought all that much about saving. At the moment we're living comfortably enough and are saving up for our holiday in July. Post-holiday I think we'll just continue saving and put it into baby-fund instead. In December I will have paid off my loan and credit card so we'll be £150 a month better off anyway. Maternity pay is not such an issue for me as one of my jobs I don't get maternity leave and just continue to get paid (very flexible hours and I'll just take some time off) and my second job I assume I'll get maternity leave from, provided the job still exists. There's a possibility of it going sometime next year. I'm not really overly worried about money anyway, we'll manage somehow.

I'm on another forum and they're giving away gifts for answering a survey. Two of the questions were: "is there anything you're doing for the first time this summer?" and "what would make this a dream summer for you?". I couldn't bring myself to tell them about TTC. This is definitely something I'll keep between me, DP and MN!

AC - that is very organised!

Think mine would go:

May - injections, lose weight
June - injections, lose weight & mums 50th, Potty training DD
July - injections, lose weight
August - injections & DDs 2nd birthday
September - last injection (24th)
October - charting, taking pre natal vitamins & dosing DH on vitamins
Novemeber - charting/temping, vitamins & my Birthday
December - charting/temping/OPKing, vitamins & TTCing!! Maybe moving DD into the bigger room.

not even thought about saving, although we have most things we need. Writing things like that makes it seem ages away, but we are on month 5 & that has gone quite quick looking back!

Can I join please

plan to take pill (and multi-vits) until mid Augast
Folic acid for Aug / sept / Oct (OH Zinc)
(hoping my cycle is regaular ish by oct / nov)
More expensive pregnancy vitamins November
work out and interpret my cycle oct / nov dec

pregnacare conception and man conception vits from Dec 2010

and TTC fro Jan 2011

But AC why shouldn't you have a holiday to celebrate your wedding anniversary and a birthday? If you have children your holidays will never be the same again, at least not for a long time, so enjoy it I say!
You can reeeealllly want a baby but know you need a bit longer to be ready for them...that's what this thread is about I think!

nannyl you most certainly can! Is it wrong to be pleased to welcome someone to the thread whose TTC date is later than mine? I feel like I've moved up the queue - although we'll see, because I've just spent the evening sweating blood over a new CV and if I change jobs this might all be put on hold again.

Pipoca And SaorAlba I agree with you obviously, but I must seem flippant to some.

SaorAlba you sound like you've got the finances all sorted. I'm saving to cover my loan repayments while I'm off work. I think it's only fair that I cover the cost of my own pre-DH debts and otherwise we'd be strapped anyway. It's great to get things paid off finally.

Bebe now we're both organised!

Just realised moving DD into the bigger room (so potential LO can have the nursery) is a massive job! Need to find a home somewhere else in the house for 2 computers & 2 printers, a tonne of junk, also need to convert the 'shower' cupboard back into an actual cupboard (long story) and block up the fireplace & put carpet down!! Eeek! Maybe I should be saving up for that?

Welcome to Nannyl!

Well no that doesn't exactly sound like a barrell of laughs, especially if you have a little helper in your way.

I'm afraid I'm here for yet another grumble about DH - sorry girls. Now poor DH doesn't think he can commit to TTC in December because between now and then he "might decide to start a small business".

Yes DH, or then again you might not. And if the possibility of a small business venture, however remote, is going to stand in our way in December then at what point exactly in our lives will it be safe to assume that you have abandoned your small business ambitions sufficiently to accommodate a baby?

Dear god this man was sent to try me!