The BESH 30's TTC: "Shall I get me rat out, Doctor?"

[ChoChoSan]

The Palace is open and the anti-freeze is flowing - Blue Bols 50p a shot! Two for one on Archers and orange, for the classy BESHies (the ones who keep their hats on whilst undergoing an internal examination).

We have Vampire Bill and Brian Cox in the Dungeon, and David Mitchell and Brian Eno tending the bar....

Scorpette , that's shit. It really is. Why do they get paid so much to do such a bad job? I could do better than that if all it comes down to is just making shit up!!

Hopefully she'll remember you next time....

Our fertility 'specialist' stopped seeing us in November. Turns out they can't help us any more. I asked if he would do the same if we were straight and he said no - it's just cos we're lezzers.

Here's a wedgie. And a pint of Port.

Cheers!

Oh, and his colleague (a woman) asked why I haven't had my sperm tested, since we've been going to the clinic for nearly two years!

I didn't know what to say. I was so shocked. I was wearing a tight top, which showed off me decent-sized knockers, and I certainly don't look anything like a fella. I never have!!

It makes me laugh now, though, to think they go through years of university to study female anatomy and then can't recognise a woman when she's sitting in front of 'em!!

cocky - What the... I'd've got my norks out there and then and slapped her with them. I don't know whether to laugh or cry really. I'm sort of wobbling between the two owing to already having had a good sob today. Fuck's sake! Oooh I'm getting ever so sweary. It's hanging out with your reprobate BESHes.

Careful, E , don't overexcite yourself - you know what happened last time....

Bloody ell scorpio, another stunning example of some pure fuckwittery. similar to E i really can't think of much sensible to say apart from what a lorra wank.

eadindaclouds you also sound in need of some gentle violence and gin - are you ok dearie?

cocky - thats a fairly impressive piece of misdiagnosis on their part! back to the anatomy books methinks.

muse dear can't think of anything usefull about droid and returnage thereof but sending hopeful arm pinches

and cho fuck fuck fuck re the neg.

Thanks for the simpaffie guys. Am thinking of changing to another nearby Drs, even if it's really a PITA to get to. The Dr was the one I dreaded seeing as she's always fucking useless, but you don't get a choice at my GP's. Thank fuck she retires at the end of this month! Perhaps if she hadn't spent the whole of the smear waffling on about the plot of Avatar, she might've been able to listen to me adequately Incidentally, she kept asking me about my 'psycho ex-husband'. When I was all WTF and said she must be thinking about someone else, she laughed me off and continued to make jokes about it! Since when would that be acceptable if she did have the right person?!
Sadly realised the other day that I've identified who it is MIL always reminds me of - that Doctor!

Cockdodger, that sperm sample thing is ridiculous, not to mention inexcusable! Do you think that she is so thick and and has such a fixed idea of "only way to make baby = man + woman" that she was unable to say anything 'off-script'?! You should've complained.

Do BESHies somehow attract incompetent medical professionals? Scorps that's utterly ridiculous, I mean, how hard can it be?

And Cocky, that would be funny if it wasn't real. As for getting different treatment if you're gay than straight, what's that all about???

I just sat through another meeting planning things well into next year, writing things into my diary thinking "I really hope I'm on maternity leave then". Although at least this time it was things I'll be sad to miss rather than desperate to avoid.

Oh, and Cockatoo, it goes without saying that is a fucking disgrace to say they'd have kept on helping you if you were a hetero couple. Shocking

ChoCho I've made you a nice tropical ChiChi with a proper dose of the leftover Valium I had in my linty pocket from today. I won't blow smoke up your arse with false hope as I HATE it when people do that to me in this situation. Please just take this drink and a big slug in the arm from me. I know it's shit, right now and I now it might very well be my fate in two weeks time too. Want a go in the mud wrestling ring? I think I can goad Scorp to get in there and you could easily take her! Whadda ya say Scorpalina?

It might get out some of your frustration too! Cunt kicks to your doc too, Scorpy! I was thinking about some of the notes that it might be just so they can get the PASS in order to give you tests and get you started on some track, if needed. Sometimes the "system" demands diagnosis in order to proceed. I've been outraged at things similar, thinking that THOSE have never been discussed let alone DIAGNOSED! and yet they appear in my record, only to find out that it was a way to get to the next test or next treatment. (PCOS is one example - I still don't think I have it, but the drug they put me on has helped) BUT when you said they have TYF at FIFTY-EIGHT!!! I lost all hope in that theory and think she had the wrong file!!! Which is a bit less than confidence-inspiring. So I'm putting on my cunt-kicking boots and my holster with dart guns! Point me in the right direction.

Cockdodger I think it's bollocks that they are refusing further treatment because of you and your partner being lezzers... that does not compute in my head. What kind of help have they actually given you? Is there a lot more they could do? Are you planning to move on to a new clinic?

Morning ladeez,

I plan to actually do some work today so shall not be around much (if I am kick my arse).

cho I have the strongest metal detector in the world here to entice the droid away from you.

scorp words fail me. They actually do.

cock still can't find appropriate words. Trust me though there is a lot of shaking of me head, & mouth aghast.

< > a whole world of nothing!

Thanks Cuntshineonarainyday...well it's official testing day today, and no surprises, it's my 45th babyfail!

Still no droid, but I can stop taking the progesterone today, and that should bring it on.

IVF next for me - hope I don't have to wait too long before they sort that out for me, and I guess they will do hysteroscopy beforehand.

Anyway, I have got lots of really lovely things to do this evening and next week, and I will try to chill out whilst I am in the deadzone waiting for treatment.

Fucking hell cho

shit bollocks wankers fuckhead pisstwats cunts and bastards

I hope that covers all that has been listed below. A raw deal all round.

so sorry cho. Whisky and cake?

scorps Please exercise your right to complain through PALS. This fucking idiot needs to be held to account. One mistake on your medical record can really fuck things up.

cock Medical wise - again I think a complaint is in order.

Just to add to the woes, I finally heard back from my new wanker of a Rheumatologist today. All excuses about not being able to get me an appointment and clearly hasn't read my letter. I said I was happy to travel to any of his clinics, but as part of his excuse he points out that there are only two clinics at my nearest hospital. Also says my pains are probably pregnancy related - yet I explained that my shoulders and knuckles had flared. Who's ever heard of pregnancy giving you hands like boxing gloves? Ignorant fucker. And they got they date of my letter to them wrong - they reckon I wrote it on my birthday - yeah cause I didn't have better things to do then!

On a positive side, the physio I saw yesterday was great. Thank goodness there are some sane people in the NHS.

Morning gin slags

scorps thats fucking shit - as per usual with your Dr's - hope you get your complaint in.

cocky that is also proper shit - and how fuckign offensive was the colleague?!

cho sorry about POAS = fail - have a big mug of gin.

My scan was ok - baby was fine. so am feeling better today - after my paranoia yesterday.

cho cunt bollocks fuck. so sorry.

Thanks y'all and yep, Cass, the one-mistake-fucking-things-up thing is what worries me too. When I first got ill in 1994, I saw one really old, horrible male Doctor who dismissed all my very real problems (he didn't believe asthma was a real disease, so that tells you summink about him) put on my notes that I was 'hysterical' and 'a potential hypochondriac' and for years Docs were really dismissive and weird towards me until I demand to see my medical records and realised that his comment had been influencing them - they'd been writing up my notes as though I was a bit Ophelia; writing things about how I'd 'appeared' when seeing them that just weren't true - they were clearly seeing me as a bit pathetic and mad because they were presupposing that's what I was like; perceiving me through that bias. Took a long time to complain and get it removed and an apology.

And so sorry that you're being fucked around now. But it's not like you need your hands to work to cope with daily life, is it? What makes things worse, imo, is the way they lie so pathetically and so easily to catch them out to get themselves out of their own inefficiency, like saying you'd written on your birthday. It's as ignorant as the way toddlers lie; thinking no-one else will have any knowledge of the thing in question but them. So insulting. Give them hell and DEMAND they see you asap. Pregnancy with your condition is not easy, so how fucking dare they expect you to suffer just cos they can't do their jobs properly*?

And cho - Please enjoy this sympathetic grope from me

*PS, this is the line I use when a company or GP, etc., is messing me about - "Why should I have to suffer because you can't do your job properly?". Feel free to use it

Oh cho. fucking shitwanks. Hope your weekend's an oasis of calm and peace and gin . . .

Bles you sal. A little light punch on the side of the head and some gin-soaked cake would be aces. I cried all last night and still aren't sure why. Fink it's cos the time for SWI is a-coming (Pun intended: I'm funny, aren't I? Yeah. Funny) and I'm dreading it in case nuffink happens and I have to be gracious and brave as opposed to commit slaughter.

Scorps I vote for Dr change. I really do. Might give a fab kind of head-held-high new-start fuck-that-dry-old-sow feeling to the proceedings.

Cocky I'm picturing the rides at Eurojizzney. It's gonna keep me mentally diverted all the gosh darn day long...

Scorpette a) I love you so much for Willy S. references in a MN post that I just want to play with your bottom. and b) Have you read Hilary Mantel's memoir 'Giving up the Ghost'? She had endometriosis for 20 years and was dismissed by paternalistic doctors as being essentially hysterical. as I remember it they whipped her womb out without really explaining and boom, no children. Damn saddest thing I ever done read.

None of the foregoing is very cheering, but just goes to show devastating impact of careless dickhead doctors...

So sorry to hear that Cho

Scorps, I vote for complain AND move

Iggy, chuffed for you!!

Laurie I know you aren't posting today, and this is so yesterday's news, but Carrots and Pony gave me some very sage advice on how NOT to have an experience such as that depicted on the programme-which-shall-not-be-named. It's over in the PESH Deli if you want to read it.

Ead = for Mantel! Yep, EuroJizzney is where all the top Lezbots go for their summer holidays. I am the director, if I remember rightly

Don't be sad, get your sexy on - I know sometimes one can think 'what's the fucking point? It won't work anyway', but keep on fuckin' truckin'

cho that is shit, proper steaming shit. I know its not BESH like, but I'm so sorry. Come here & nestle in my chest. Its ample, anyone else?

ead thanks for being as mad as me. I'm also approaching the damp gusset time of the month & instead of pouncing on the fella I seem to be keeping my distance. The little hope each month seems worse than the knowing you can't be updiffed.

I think we may need to call in the builders & extend the Pit of Dispair....

iggy YEY for the scan. You've brightened up my day. Thanks for the encouragement to keep going. Well done you & baby-iggy.

We have an audit taking place today. The auditor is a bit young but rather, well, fertile looking..... Now, where did I put the keys to the stationary cupboard?

Oh, said I was going to work today, didn't I? Better down me gin & back to it

lyra This is me not posting again. I meant to thank you for that yesterday. I had a stalk catch up with our PESH maties & saw the advice. Put me back on the crazy track.

Chochi that sucks ass. Sorry BESHie. Here's hoping the docs pull their fingers out and get your IVF sorted pronto.

Cocky I thought I'd heard it all re: medical fuckwittery, but that really takes the biscuit. I hope you are getting some help via a non-twatty clinic? You know, the kind that can actually recognise the difference between a man and a woman... FFS!

Igster good news on the scan.

Cho really sorry to hear your news, I was crossing everything for you.

Kicks in the shins to all incompetent medical professionals.

Meanwhile, I decided to actually go to the hospital today for my blood test (should have gone yesterday). I now know why my period hasn't come. I'm still fucking pregnant.

Oh yay? Nope. Not at all. What I WAS told last week was my progesterone level was fuck awful and it indicated a failing pregnancy. Come back in a week for another blood test. Blah blah. Thought the come back was a bit weird because last time I just got POAS in a week and tell us the result.

So, I go in today and discover that although my progesterone level is fuck awful (was 8 first day, dropped to 7 on the next test) my HCG levels had actually gone up. They hadn't quite doubled, but nearly.

The reason I need another test is to see if my HCG levels are still rising. Because if they are then it points to a fun ectopic pregnancy.

I've been sitting around all week wondering when I can start shagging again and not even realising that ectopic was a signficant possibility. I am now utterly terrified and not sure how I'm going to make it until this evening when I can (hopefully) get the results.

Fuck fuck fuck. Have told work I'm not coming in and asked my line manager to call me. I think it's time I told him what's going on as I am a complete mess.

Oh yeah, and of course I immediately went to POAS. It says pregnant. I have not had a hint of bleeding in the last week. I am thinking medical intervention is probably in my future. Fuck fuck fuck.

Oh Muser I'm so sorry love, that is proper steaming shit. Go curl up on that there sofa, I will bring you a blanket and some tea gin and smooth your hair.