Just MC'd .. Come and join us for the long haul (newbies always welcome!) - Vol 3

[LeeWT]

Hi all, old and new, this is the thread where all moaning, pieces of tmi, discussions and virtual cups of tea and biscuits come together to keep us sane .. or at the least insane together!

Sunburntats - hope the luck rubs off on everyone, lucky sticks = brilliant!!

I just saw your other thread from this week, just wanted to say big hugs [hugemoticonwhichdefinitelyneedstobeinvented] I can only echo your feelings on that one.

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Hello everybody.

Anybody out there? I seem to have a knack of only logging on when there's nobody around. I've got drinks for those as wants and a laaaaarge box of heavy duty chocolates. Happy fridays.
x

[sniffs air - chocolates????]

I'm here!

oooh yes, 75% proof and all. Neccessary tonight methinks! Another Friday and dh is working nights. Anyone for martini?

If only - could murder a wine. Had a dreadful day. DH got massive family problems (which I don't want to go into as immediately identifiable to anyone reading). I'm really worried about him, plus feeling furious at the individual and stressed myself to the point of bursting. And keep trying to remind myself that stress isn't good for the baby.

[TFLS scoffs a layer of cholocates and gives unbuffy an embarrassed thank you look]

Blimey you're glad you caught up with me online now??? How are things with you?

PS sunburt - love the idea of lucky sticks. You deserve them girl.

just when you think it's getting better it jumps up and bites you on the bum eh?

Supposed to have my nuchal today, instead i'm on day fucking 8 of a new cycle. It's not fair. When will it get better? (not really looking for an answer, how long is a piece of string)

Also started having sex again, we are going for every other day and started few days ago, did it last night and it was really depressing. All we can both think about is how we shouldn't be having to do this now and the only reason we had sex last was cos we're on a sex day, we were both knackered, dh is working really long hours at the moment but he's so good to me. I even said, don't worry, but we carried on and who knows. Night off tonight so have got dvd and he's on his way home now with curry so hopefully will relax a bit.

We abstained from sex during this pg as the last time I mc it was the day after we had sex, (6 wks). I was really worried, I told dh last night that we wouldn't do that next time, seems no point. It didn't make any difference so why torture ourselves, we might even start to enjoy it again.

How is everyone else coping? are you abstaining in early weeks or just go for it?

Hope everyone is well, sorry for self indulged rant.

Bit blue round here, long day and can't find anyone to talk to . Everybody seems to be out having lives and I'm here and dh is on nights and dd is sleeping so can't go out and blaaaaah. It's so HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD to keep smiling in RL and saying yes well it happens and inside it doesn't feel like that at ALL and it's just not fair but I know all this is quite normal and I don't mean to rant.

Poor you TFLS about having in laws. That was supposed to read TRICKY in laws - ho hum. I have nice ones fortunatly but FIL is extremely sick and it makes me worry about my dh. but there is nothing doing in any in law situation - it's his family, and tricky or sicky there's not a lot to do but worry. Thinking calm jedi thoughts might help - failing that voodoo...?

Goodluckbear - are you sharing those sticks virtually??

Oh liahgen. It is just shit sometimes. I sometimes feel like this whole business is a sadistic game of snakes and ladders.

Hope you've got a bottle of wine to go with the curry. Maybe you're not ready to go back on the every other day schedule - if it's making you both feel wrong?

Rant away - I think I've scared Unbuffy away with my own outburst .

Hope you have a nice, chilled evening.

did someone say chocolate?? count me in. and i might be tempted with a vodka if anyone's offering.

sunburntats hope your ok. hope the stcks are lucky for you too.

liahgen i know how you feel, all the dates and anniversaries you should be celebrating get turned into sad days instead. after 4 mc i have a few 'should of been' due dates to get through.

and as for having sex during the early weeks, i personally try to avoid it. just for peace of mind.

sure there is no reason for you to avoid it though. you just have to do what feels right for you.

Oh unbuffy - glad I didn't scare you away. Crossed posts!

Not in-laws. One of his children has done something really awful.

Kids - who would have them [weak ]

Sorry you've had a blue day. It's worse when time drags isn't it? Rant away - god we've all been there and done it. I wonder what this thread would look like if someone when through and blanked out all our rants (in the style of the MPs' expenses)

liahgen crossed posts. sex sucks (no pun...). I don't think it has anything to do with m/c though, when I was pg with dd it didn't suck and she was fine. during m/c pg we didn't at all and she wasn't. Sorta thing. If it makes you feel better/closer, i should do it. Someone suggested um, spicing things up and not just swi as it's more relaxing and potentially likely to take. Presumably things get better at some point - joining you in waiting. x

no not scared away, just crap at typing!!!

thanks FL and no youhaven't, there she is.

Maybe we're not but I am so desperate to be pregnant asap that we have to do it.

buffy I'm with you, rant as muc as you like, it's good for the soul.

If I have to say, I'm fine thanks one more time I'll scream. I know everyone just wants you to be ok and they care but blimey would you shock the hell out of them if you said #

actually no I'm really not fine cos everytime I close my eyes I see that little baby shape lying at the bottom of my useless womb and looking where I know the little flickering heart should be and I want to scream and rock and lock myself away in a room.

Yopu can't say that so you smile and say, yes it happens, yes its more common than you think. Yes I know I have 5 healthy children, I know some have none, . I'm lucky I know. No maybe I won't tell people next time, (cos that'll make a difference to the outcome won't it? and then I'll really be alone should it happen again. I know I'm not getting any younger, maybe it's just not meant to be.

And yes theyare all things I've said to various people over the past 2 weeks.

Bitter? Where's the corkscrew?

you said it liahgen.

It's all right, it happens to everyone. 1 in 5, 1 in 3, whatever. Yes, life just has to go on. No, it wasn't really a baby yet. Smile, smile.

bastards.

It's not just life, it's me, right here, right now, my life and one that wasn't and they had to take her away.

but you can't say that.

pass the bottle, i'm a miseryfest.

Good evening all, seems like everyone has the blues right now. Not surprising with all the crap that's flying.

Oh liahgen it really does suck sometimes doesn't it. I've been there with the depressing sex, and its the absolute worst. I hope a night off, a good movie and a curry will be more fun - even might make the sex feel more appealing.

And Unbuffy being alone is lots tougher right now, or worse, being surrounded by people you have to smile for.

tfls glad you're hanging in there - enjoy that chocolate for me. I hope the family situation settles soon.

My own addition was going to a friend and colleague's funeral this afternoon - only 49, such a shock. And on the way another friend and colleague announced her sister in law had a miscarriage. Now we never told people at work, because we didn't want people asking, but it felt awfully strange to be talking about some other poor woman's mc without acknowledging my own. I just said, how sad, its terribly common isn't it, but doesn't stop the pain.

O

We didn't tell anyone in RL - downside no support but the upside was no bland comments.

Didn't realise how much that was worth at the time.

Will go and get my spare emergency bottle to share.

[waves at Sarahmumtoalex] - what an awful day. 49 is no age. Very surreal to be making consoling comments about some other woman's miscarriage - hope it didn't upset you too much?

Unbuffy - when I'm alone on a night like tonight, I really hope there is some outrageously funny or argumentive thread kicking off that I can distract myself with.

Oh gosh, sounds like we've all had a shitty week.
I've been up and down like a yo-yo this week, highly emotional and crying at everything (had a little cry about Lee's nana earlier!).
Had awful ttc sex with DH the other day and ended up crying during it because it felt so mechanical and unromantic. Spent most of the week having awful thoughts about not being sure if I want to be with DH anymore.
I think I'm ok now - just a bit of a wobble.

Then on Wednesday BIL and SIL emailed us to say they're having their third DC and attached their 3 month scan. Obviously happy for them, but for DH and I. How do they have 3 and we have none!!!

I'm hoping that my general bad mood and manic hormone levels are a sign of course! The only reason I tested last time I was pg was because I was so emotional and grumpy.

Sorry for the long and selfish rant!
I'm sorry everyone else is having such a rubbish time of it too. Hi to all the newbies on here - we're not always so grumpy, so please bear with us and stay!

It's weird - I live in a small village and so many people seem to know about the m/c who didn't apparently know I was pg. I think it's the Old Lady syndrome. And they are generally very sweet about it. But the people in the playgroup - girls my age with littlies - don't have any idea at all, none seem to have m/ced and are all stupidy happy. (it was playgroup today).

Do old ladies have a sixth sense for this sort of news? And I do mean old ladies not 'the older woman' - average age around here is about 190+.

Don't mean to be such a misery, just so tired by the end of the day!

Oh tigerbear - join the fed up and depressed Friday night club. Sounds like you've been through the wringer this week as well.

Bitter sweet about your BIL and SIL. The scan picture must have been difficult.

I'm seeing my acupuncturist tomorrow who always treats a stress point for me. She may take one look, give up and send me to a therapist instead! God - I'm feeling sorry for her in advance if she dare ask how my week's been

Blimey Unbuffy - I used to live in a village and I suspect you're right. Now live in the middle of nowhere (no neighbours at all) - used to feel lonely but now seeing the upside!

God we all need a good night's sleep and some sunshine tomorrow.

Right, anymore chocolate going spare?

cheers to that

[TFLS hunts for any left over Christmas chocs]

I'm off to have some dinner with DH.

Thanks for cheering me up a bit girls. Hope you all have a better day tomorrow - onwards and upwards and all that

Take care everyone.