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30s TTC - We BESH you a Merry Jizzmas and a droid-free new year!

998 replies

CurlyCasper · 22/12/2009 10:21

Come in, come in. The wine is mulling, the bird is stuffed and cooked. We have a huge table at which to enjoy our festive feast, and the rippling Ricky Whittle is the centrepiece, draped in berries to be removed by whatever method you choose.

A bottle of Gin and an elf-man in a box awaits each and every one of you. Just make your wish and when you undo the bow he will appear.

There's a nativity tableau in the corner, for praying to the baybee Jebus and, most importantly of all, Santa has been asked to deliver the gift of exceptional fertility, so that each and every BESH can enter the new year with a baybeeee in their tum tum.

Oh, and I've let a few cats in to aid with the 2WOOFL menkulness.

Now, let's get together and get the tree up!

OP posts:
Scorpette · 31/12/2009 01:25

Thanks Cunty, you're right. But she's not doing it in any kind of deliberate way, ie 'Fuck off out of my kitchen with your allergy bullshit and eat what you're given, slag'. Both of us do say things, in a direct-but-respectful manner, but it's like she's so set in her ways and so rigid and repressed that she literally doesn't know what to do if it's not her 'usual way' and just sort of politely ignores the need for change/difference and carries on as though nowt's been said or requested by doing a nervous, confused laugh and wandering off, which signals end of convo.Then she gets all offended and confused if one of us tries to re-iterate it and it ends up with me looking like I'm insulting her and being difficult if one of us keeps 'pushing' it.

The point is, I'm not banned from the kitchen; despite it being a gorgeous, massive kitchen with an Aga and all mod-cons, she doesn't really cook much, she only really heats things up and doesn't want me doing anything different - in other words, if I was just heating up ready meals or having a bit of toast, etc., there'd be no problem. But she doesn't want me to actually make meals from scratch, which is what I always do, even before I had allergies, and getting packet crap is v hard with allergies, not to mention not wanting to eat shit like that. If I see her cooking some salmon, say, I'll be all, 'oooh, salmon, great, I love salmon' and she'll say good, you can have some too, etc. ... then come dinner time, the salmon is now covered in a creamy sauce and she'll say to me 'do you know what you're having?'. Even when I tell her outright to save me a piece of the plain salmon, it's like she can't deviate from her plan. And it is insulting that she can't or won't even make the tiniest tweaks for me. TYF is constantly saying things like 'if you just cut a bit off before you add the sauce, Scorpette can have some of that' and she promises she will then doesn't. It's genuinely not passive-aggression; I think she might have a touch of Lady-Asperger's (other factors make me think this too). And as the kitchen is 'her' domain, his Dad is no help. I just feel v insulted and rejected that she will not put one jot of effort or thought into being hospitable towards me - my own dearest Mama (now elevated to sainthood) is so thoughtful and giving. And an amazing cook. When my folks were having their boiler fixed, she made a cake for the repair men, despite having flu!
I understand that allergies are annoying, but it's taking the piss to cook only enough roast chicken and veg for 'the family' - a meal I can eat - and then ask what I'm going to put in the microwave, despite me and TYf repeatedly telling her that I can eat said meal too! I guess it's hard when I'm so used to my Mum being so caring and the fact that I'm so considerate to my own guests to not be offended that if she won't let me cook, then she could try at least once whilst we're here to make something I can join in with eating.

Sorry for my immense whinges. Am off home tomorrow - home to my fridge where St Mum has let herself in to place lovingly made scrumptious goodies to await our return. She will probably have unnecessarily tidied up, and put things in weird places, but it's a small price to pay!

Again, sorry for whinges and mardiness about ILs. I'll start whinging and being mardy about TTC again soon, I promise!

Scorpette · 31/12/2009 01:26

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, that was long. So sorry guys!

Cosmosis · 31/12/2009 09:12

Next time you go could you not pre-make and freeze a load of meals for yourself and heat them up when you?re there?

I know it doesn?t solve the rudeness of her not catering for you, but at least it means you might get a decent meal. I think if I were you though I?d be getting TYF to have proper words with her.

laurielou · 31/12/2009 09:41

scorp can I come next time? I could do with losing a few lb!!

As you know I've been MIA for a while - ski are you preggers?

I'd just like to say a big THANK YOU to all you nutters BESH's for the support of this year. Judgey pants have been worn aplenty, but no-one has ever judged our crazy outpourings of whether we want / like babies etc. Its been fabulous to know that I'm not alone in my craziness. You're all FAB

Anyway, before this turns into a Gwyneth Paltrow Oscar acceptance speech type shenanigan, I shall bid you farewell for 2009 & look forward to all the September babies following too many cocktails & drunken shags tonight. Hey, it might even be with our own partners! Enjoy, x

PollyPoo · 31/12/2009 09:54

Morning BESHies. Scorps your MIL sounds like a right mare. Huzzah that you are leaving today and can escape the madness! My MIL is not that bad but does insist that I must be coeliac. I am not - I just can't eat yeast. Thankfully she doesn't do the cooking, FIL does. Cosmo that sounds like a v sound suggestion to me - the skanky MIL would probably like Scorpy to take her own food and then she won't have to bother with her at mealtimes at all - and heating up food sounds like its de rigour in that house.

My body has found a new way of fucking with me and I wanted to know if anyone else gets this? This month, from about CD10 I got really really sore norks. I think I ov'd yesterday (me and FF are falling out about it) so I had hoped that today I'd wake up with normal size, pain-free norks, but twas not to be. Usually I get the sore norks in the week up to droid, never before even ovulation! Wtf is going on? Does this mean I am now going to have enormous comedy norks that are super-sensitive until droid arrives?

CUNextTuesday · 31/12/2009 10:04

scorps I see what you are getting at. How unutterably annoying/depressing it must be. Like she has an early version of Babelfish installed in her brain that translates 'just cut me a piece off' into 'yes I will happily eat what you are eating' and then vice versa when it's roast chicken! O miserere! I would take cosmo's advice if I was you

wildfig · 31/12/2009 10:22

Puppies: honey tell your DH to prepare for about two months of doing NOTHING at home except letting the dog in and out for a wee every hour, removing panscrubs from its jaws, spraying Bitter Apple on all your furniture, hunting for stealth poos and making long trips back and forth to Pet At Home for Simple Solution and Kongs. Technically I work from home, but in reality I've been running a very exclusive puppy training business, while doing my real job on the side for about ten mins a day. I love my puppoo to bits, as does everyone he meets, but there's no way I'd ever get another one - breed rescue for me from now on.

But, on the positive side, you're getting a spaniel who will luurrrrrve you and want to pleeeeeeease you. The fluffy paws! The ears! SO cute. Have been hanging out with a load of working cockers this new year, and they're the sweetest, cleverest things. Plus, you'll feel no fear about shitty nappies. I've now picked up and examined more poo than Gillian McKeith...

scorp just be 'ill' next Christmas and skip the whole rigmarole. DH and I have decided to contract a very contagious and unpleasant virus (tse tse fever? Diptheria?) around Dec 20th, which will prevent us going to anyone's, or anyone coming to us. And if it makes you feel better, I think our New Year Dinner is going to be a venison casserole that was made on SUNDAY NIGHT and kept in a cold cupboard. [boaks. becomes vegan unexpectedly]

bessie well done, you now have one person fewer to buy for next Christmas

CUNextTuesday · 31/12/2009 11:57

frig!!!!

Scorpette · 31/12/2009 11:59

Thanks for not clubbing me to death for being so boring, guys! Sadly, everything you suggest is what I already do and it still seems to wind her up! Great advice, speshly from Cosmo BUUUUT I DO take all my own food down, including pre-frozen stuff EVEN THOUGH there's virtually no space in the fridges and freezers (they have 3 of each and yet still grumbles about making room for my stuff!) and she gets anxious about all that! As an allergy sufferer, I wouldn't stay at someone's and not bring my own grub - even though it's a bugger bringing 8 days worth of meals down in a tiny car for 5-6 hours (I can't eat stuff like cereal and toast, so that means every meal has to be 'A Meal', if you get me). She does normally occasionally make stuff I can eat too, even if it's not very tasty, but this time around she's not bothered once and this meant I'd under-calculated what to bring It's like, I do loads of planning, buying and cooking to try and make sure I take care of my own food and don't bother her at all and won't be stood around chopping and so forth in her kitchen but it's still 'too cheeky' of me! She's so scared herself of anything or anyone standing out slightly that I genuinely think she'd rather I didn't eat instead of being a bit different re: food. Fuckin' emotional cripples, can't be doing with em.

Now we are waiting to go as we were about to set off and his folks said they just had to pop out and could we wait till they got back - cue immense thumb-twiddling. Yet more thoughtfulness. Still, at least I get to slag em off here!

Fig, that casserole sounds... YUM! Will you be able to use your mobile to get on here whilst recovering in ICU?

Even though I am ready to commit mass murder, if my Facecrack status says owt about going home, no snide comments please, as TYF and his bros can read 'em.

Thank you for your support, will try to be slightly interesting v soon (no bastard make a crack about 'first time for everything'! )

Ocarina · 31/12/2009 13:22

Scorps have you escaped? Sounds utter nightmareish and makes my MIL seem angelic (to be fair she's not that bad, just says stupid things sometimes. She got Brownie points for having put a hot water bottle in my bit of bed when we got in last night).

Met friends of friends last night, they've been married 3 months and she's 2 months pregnant! How did they arrange that so neatly? (apparently they've been together for years and years).

TwinkleToes76 · 31/12/2009 14:11

Hello all! Thanks for your lovely messages of support. I am still waiting for something to happen but no sign of bleeding yet. I have managed to offload my daughter onto my mum for the night and we're off for a night out, albeit a rather sedate one!

I hope you all have a great night and see you all next year when we shall ALL get baybees!

CurlyCasper · 31/12/2009 14:48

Hi all, just taking some time out before continuing prep for tonight's dinner party. (SFF is cooking, I'm helping).

Hope you all have a lovely time whatever you do tonight. we've sat at home and done nought for the last few years thank to work the next day for one or both of is, so it's going to be a plesant change

speak next year!

OP posts:
idealcamel · 31/12/2009 15:37

In pub in Richmond full of puppies and kids. Ovaries go bang!

Muser · 31/12/2009 15:59

Steal one of each!

Medee · 31/12/2009 16:05

Happy New Year to you all, may 2010 be baby-filled!

rollerbaby · 31/12/2009 18:27

Just had last shag of the decade.

May the next decade bring us all puppies and kids.

Happy new year to you all and may the hangovers be worth it.

PollyPoo · 31/12/2009 18:46

Happy new year all. I've lots of FFJ so we'll be trying for a stealth shag later as we've got TG's sis and family here (yes, her of the cuntkicking).

Here is to 2010 - may it be filled with joy and baybees for us all! I heart you BESHies - Mmmmwaaahh!

Muser · 31/12/2009 19:13

Happy New Year BESHies, may we all be cuddling babies for NYE next year.

Scorpette · 31/12/2009 21:46

Am home - HUZZAH!

Happy New Year BESHies - befriending you lot has been a real highlight of 2009!

Hope that this time next year finds us ALL either Mums or Mums-To-Be A lot can happen in a year, so fingers crossed and legs open!

(And Pols - good luck )

My NY Resolution is to stop taking Boden children's clothes catalogues down into The Pit of Despair...

Scorpette · 01/01/2010 00:35

2010 already and still no baybee. Worra fuckin' jip.

cheggers · 01/01/2010 01:37

Happy new year ya gorgeous bunch of girls

here's to 2010 being full of healthy babies, new bumps and positive piss sticks all round ...

... Cheers!! xxx

idealcamel · 01/01/2010 02:59

Happy New Year, Beshies.

CUNextTuesday · 01/01/2010 11:14

Happy new year you bunch of minxies!!!

What a beautiful day it is too. Middle sister's birthday today so going round later. Ala, eldest sister staying with her and we Do Not Get On so it is going to be very very awkward. She will put on a big farce like nothing is wrong on her side 'HI CUNTY!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU!! OH THAT TOP LOOKS NICE ON YOU!!! whilst all the time making out like she's the magnanimous one and I'm just being petulant and sulky in my continued total hatred of her. Pah.

Muser · 01/01/2010 12:15

Happy New Year Beshies! I saw out 2009 in style. Tons of bubbly and homemade chocolate mousse with extra raw egg. Seriously hoping that I won't be allowed either without looks of disapproval soon.

Alas I don't think things are going to happen this month. No signs of OVing. There is still time, but I think the mc might have buggered my body up. At least it means I can go to my friend's wedding in October. And I shall carry on SWI regardless.

idealcamel · 01/01/2010 13:59

Oh god. I am dying. Haven't drunk so much in ages. Will someone bring me a small dry biscuit and a glass of water? Ta.