30s TTC - More Gin Than George BESH

[Scorpette]

Come on in ladies, the bar is fully stocked with Advocaat, Bailey's and novelty Xmas drinkies and the slaves are wearing Ann Summer 'Santa's Hat' posing pouches. Have also festooned the place with plenty of festive tat and lots of v un-eco and tacky Xmas lights and shit because I know we all love getting Xmassy dead early. There's a fireplace so you can send your wish list to Santa up the chimbley, platters of wooden spoons and coconuts on the mantlepiece and 'Mulled Wine' scented candles lighting up The Pit of Despair. Make yourselves at home!

Poor Polly I am firmly of the opinion that these women don't really want children at all, they just want to mock BESHes like us. How to offer solace? Saying you can at least eat and drink all you like at Xmas is a poor substitute for being updiffed and not really helpful. Would it help if I wear a Santa's hat whilst I bitchslap you into blissful unconsciousness? I do it purely out of love

As of tomorrow I will be gusset-checking like a menkul - Pink Panther arrived at this v early stage of DPO last month so am paranoid this month. Only 6DPO before you have to accept defeat? Worra swiz! Have already thought I had the teeniest bit of peachy colour down there earlier but if anything, was due to me injuring my Jemima Puddleduck by repeatedly shoving toilet paper up there like There wasn't anything really. PLEASE let it continue like this - do not want to be a hysterical sobbing, screeching, depressed loon like last babyfail seeing as I'll be vvv low for a funtime Xmas at ILs and need to vaguely resemble a sane human being (I know, I know).

PS I know what Gavin and Stacy's fertility problem is. And I certainly didn't get this info from the Heat Xmas special

Fanks Scropy

Being slapped into unconsciousness sounds v appealing right now. I am sure that over the next few days I will start to appreciate the joy of being able to drink myself into a stupor over christmas, but you right - right now I just want to lie on the floor and scream 'who stole my baybeeeeee'. Am worried about the GinHaglett too.

I am also feeling like I don't want to do Clomid and tests and stuff next yr - I don't think I can stand even another month of this, tis so fucking painful - in April I will have done 2 years of this ttc, and my sister will be giving birth to her daughter. I think it will just finish me off. I am just sick of it taking over my life and eating me up. I constantly feel guilty that Boo is somehow missing out while I obsess over ttc - especially at the moment. She is getting v excited about christmas and I am just like the fucking grinch. My own mother hated christmas and it used to really really upset me and I feel so guilty that patterns are repeating, but feel powerless to stop them. Damn it... eyes leaking again. ARGHHHH. I know its pathetic when there are others who have been through so much more, like Cuntshine and Gin to mention just two, but I just feel so down with it all.

Oh fuck it, I'm going to bed. Hopefully I will wake up in a slightly more positive frame of mind.... Now, do I get up early and go to Bath to lunch wiv some laydeez? Or should I stay home and cry clean my house ready for my mother to come and babysit on Friday.

Oh fucking hell... just remembered why mum is babysitting - we are going to hammersmiff apollo to see Them Crooked Vultures. Which would be good except we are going with SIL from hell (she who we cunt-kicked yesterday), her lovely partner, TG's bessy mate and his 25 yr old stunning girlfriend (who tells also tells me 'you need to relax'...) she probably has perfect fucking ovaries and will no doubt start popping out babies at the drop of a hat soon. Gar I hate them all!

BTW Scopry you are not allowed to get droided this month - no droid for Scorpy. I cannot take any more bad news. Everyone is to be happy happy joy joy with baybeez in tums please.

Scorpette I knew Stacey liked it up the bum!

Poor PolPot Let me just untangle those christmas tree lights from around your neck and prop you up into a sitting position

If you're off to see TCV later, can you not kick SIL in the cunt again on the pretext that you're moshing and getting really into the music? My brother's stunning, flawless, size 8 girlfriend is 22, so I feel your pain. And she's really nice, so I can't even hate her! Luckily, she's v career-driven, so no baybees yet, although she is apparently broody. Don't think I could handle her 'beating me to it'

No Pink Panther yet, but will be existing solely on a gusset-check to gusset-check basis. Have been telling myself it won't be too bad to have a festive babyfail as can pig out, drink my one alcomoholic drink of the year and not worry too much about MIL's hygiene (save for the worry any normal person would have), but that's bullsheeeeeeeeet - will be fucking devastated and will be The BESH That Spoiled Christmas. Think TYF has bought me a fab retro print from the 60s with kids on it, which might tip me over the edge if it's a Crampy Christmas Day. Sorry for waffling on and on - but you all know the anguish of the latter half of the 2WOOFL...

Poo, it will happen for you - you've done it once, you can do it again. And thanks for giving the droid a stern talking-to on my behalf... let's hope it works!

@Ski - wooden spoon shortage in Wales, innit?

poopoo bollocks to the cunting droid. I hope you got arseholed last night.

have a hug with an affectionate slap. 2 years is too long for any BESH

Morning all, mmmm hair of the dog - thanks Igor. Yes I did indeed get arseholed and stumbled off to bed around 2.30am, forgetting to shut stairgate on way and woke this morning to find Boo hovering over me, mouthbreathing noisily with snot all down her face. Scared the shit out of me!

Sorry for the self-obsessed sorry-for-self nonsense last night. Already I'm thinking 'of course I will keep trying, stupid bint. How can I not?' Even though it is clearly making me a crazy old stressy BESH. Oh and did I mention BARREN?

Really do not want to go to TCV tomorrow - would much rather stay home and get drunk with my mummy instead. Unfortunately TG will go nuts if I don't go, and probably refuse to go himself.

I have left v angry msg on facefuck status. I am hoping SIL applies it to herself and shuts the fuck up tomorrow.

Scorpy well done on droid watch, can't be too careful. Now I'm out of the running I really REALLY REALLY want to get a baybee for christmas.

Who else is still in the running for a christmas baybee present?

PolPot I am a huge fan of saying the wrong thing and uttering words which can never be taken back. So, if I were in your position I'd pop little Boo upstairs to play with her new chemistry set on xmas day, then I'd get stuck in to the cooking sherry and tell all your relatives about cuntkickee's trickery and tell them how vile she is. Then I'd drop the turkey "accidentally on purpose" and flounce out for a nice walk with Polly over the moors whilst chain-smoking Gauloise, drinking Baileys from a hip-flask and wiping my snotty nose on my sleeves. n.b., just a suggestion.

Scorps I think rather than keep having to pull your pants and no doubt 200-denier knitted tights down to inspect your puddleduck, you need to set up some form of mirror-reflection system. Like a rear-view mirror on a moped - but pointing in to your pants. TYF will be ever so impressed with your ingenuity and will give you a baybee for being so clever.

I want all the BESHies to get a baybee for christmas, or new year obviously if they prefer to drink heavily throughout the family gatherings and forced festivities.

I is an arse - Scorps that should have said 'really really REALLY want YOU to get a baby for christmas'

Stoopid cah. Blame it on the hangover.

I like your thinking Ski... sounds like my old MO - get pissed, cause a row and walk out to leave everyone else with the fall out

Polly seriously un-BESHy-like but I'm sending you hugs coz I think you need them. :-P

gin hope you're ok today. As scorps said, I had a bleed a couple of weeks ago - bright red - and was a late implantation bleed according to the scan. I've had cramps, too, on and off. As peeps have said, could be good, could be bad but not necessarily bad.

Thanks carrots. it all stopped quite quickly,and no more since (fingers crossed) so am hoping it will be okay. Just got a bit freaked because a) I am mentalrather highly strung about the whole thing, and b) I I have never had any implantation bleeding before...

Oh well hopefully will be alright. Was up lots in the night with the boy,and have been tearing after him all day,which I'm sure is exactly what people are advising when they say 'try to take it easy' [sgrin]

polly I replied to yer mail luvver.

Ah fuck it. I meant obviously.

I haven't actually sat down for any length of time since the doc told me to 'take it easy' in week 5

ginhaggie glad the bleeding stopped - how about a punch in the eye to give you something to worry about

gin Excellent news - I'm really pleased. I had MUCHO cramping with my original implantation bleed - like baaad period pains, then on and off cramping and I'm about 8 weeks now.

I know what it's like having to run around after a LO, but do try to take it easy if possible, even if it only means the odd 5 minutes.

Am I allowed to sedate him? Or how about a strait jacket?

if the little bugger actually slept all night it would be easier.

I am gusset checking on an hourly basis. And prob will do until the scan. Which will make for a slightly strange Xmas,god knows what my brother's fiancée (Russian girl who we haven't met but NO not a mail order bride) will make of it

Ooohh my brother also is with a Russian girl. He's also divorced from one. He likes Russian girls. Not mail-order either - he lived in Ukraine for about 8 years coz he likes the place (very warm an beautiful, but strange place nonetheless). They're living in Spain now, as of a few days ago. She's very nice, if a bit Russian.

Yes, with you on the sleeping. LC came into our bed at 6.30 because he was worried about monsters. He knows that there are monster-proof curtains on his window, but his theory was, what would happen if a monster got into the house another way, say down the chimney (bloody fairy tale characters upsetting children), got into his bedroom and COULDN'T GET OUT because of the monster-proof curtains.

Fair point, I thought, then I told him off for waking us up and sent him packing.

I then had to tell him off at about 6.45 for singing in bed. Me (loudly): "BE QUIET". LC (brightly): "OK". YOB: "I'm awake now". Doh.

Sedation is a great idea. Or try making hash cakes (something you can do together for some mummy and kiddie time), then put him in front of Cbeebies and watch him giggle.

Carrots sorry to go all serious again,but how many weeks when you bled? It's started again a bit y'see.

Phoned midwives,there is talk of epu tomorrow but I don't see what they can actually do this early??

My first bleed was 2 days before +ve test, so roughly 4 weeks, give or take, from LMP.

My second was about 6+3 or 4 approx. It was over two days and then I had another about 3 and 4 days later (lighter, just on wiping rather than in knickers).

An interesting conversation with the genetics consultant yesterday. We'd always assumed that there's nothing which can be done if the body is rejecting the foetus, but, it may not be rejecting it, there may be something else not quite right and therefore proper rest really can be important as it gives your body time to sort itself out.

How heavy is the bleed?

Still hardly anything.but something.if you see what I mean.

Aaaargh re the proper rest being important.

This is just on wiping. So far.

OK that sounds really +ve. I know iggs and others have said if it's going wrong, it goes wrong big time, bleed-wise. For me it was knicker-stains first, then wiping only a few days later. Anyone else want to come in here?

Um - can you feel your cervix? Do you know what it normally feels like? The gynae I saw in A&E says, if it's closed, it's good. If it's open, it's game over. But, if you delivered Mani vaginally and you don't know what it feels like, don't worry about it as it will prob feel slightly open anyway and it may confuse the issue. Just a thought as if you DO know what it's normally like, it would be a reassurance.

Gotta go but will log on later if poss to see how you're doing, otherwise back tomoz.