One-tubers TTC again....

[boodleboot]

right then,

DH has decided that after two regular cycles post EP we can try again....was very excited about that prospect until it hit me like a thunderbolt....i only have ONE TUBE NOW....of course i knew this but now i really KNOW this IYSWIM and now feel a peculiar mix of and of course and at the whole situation we find ourselves in....

I want to be positive that it will happen and won't require assisted conception but am really nervous and scared it is going to take forever....or not happen at all....{trying not to think like that....}

calling all one-tubers for a bit of handholding and good old MN support......lets go through it together....

Hi Ladies

Thanks for the reassurance re the stomach upset. The scan is a week on Thursday, so just under 2 weeks away!!!! The time seems to be going a bit faster now, I'm so nervous though!

lilysma I was convinced DH and I wouldn't have conceived the month we did as he was on a work trip to Germany on my OV day (according to my OV stick) so don't write it off completely! Keeping fingers crossed for you.

Hope you are all enjoying this lovely sunshine!

Hello Ladies

Long time no speak but have had weird thing where couldn't log on to Mumsnet for a week or so - don't know if it was an Australian issue.

Anyway welcome Lilysma & hope the luck of this thread rubs onto you soonest. To try & answer your question about ovulation, my OB said that you don't necessarily ovulate from alternate sides each month as the ovaries tend to 'compete' with each other for the 'strongest' egg....not sure if this makes sense but essentially he was saying not always!

SO happy all is going well - knock wood - I am in a constant state of terror - am currently 10 weeks & off to see Drs next Wednesday to see if its still there & then proper scan/tests the following week. Was feeling awful (= less worried) but now feeling a bit better (= more worried)...fingers crossed.

Edwinka, good luck for your scan & Boodle, yay for very active baby x

Thanks for the info re ovulation scrumdiddly. This is good news - otherwise you just feel like half the time you may as well not bother!

I think the game is up for this month as nearing the end of the 2ww but have been spotting for a couple of days which usually means AF is very slowly on its way (due Tues).

Oh well, I'm getting used to it

gosh its hard isn't it each bloody month, the hoping, the analyzing, the second quessing every twinge your body makes...we were trying for nearly a year before the ectopic and then 4 months after so know the feeling well. Definately don't think every other month is wasted though as aside from the weird competing thing the egg from one side can travel down the tube of the other...apparently it can'learn
' to do this if there is a blockage/no tube - one of the girls on this thread is pregnant via alternate egg & tube so it can be done! Good luck xxx

Thanks, this is very good to hear!

Ooh good news so far as went to OB today and had "mini-scan" which showed baby wriggling around and right size and heart beat for 11 weeks HURRAH. Not popping non-alcoholic champagne corks yet as proper scan and NT plus tests next Friday (and I am a bit of a granny at 39) BUT so far so good and am very relieved. Hope Edwina's scan has gone/goes well. Best xx

Welcome lilysma! I see you've had a warm welcome and good advice from everyone already!

Congrats on the scan scrum - it's such a relief to see the baby jumping away on screen, isn't it! Keeping my fingers crossed that NT results are low enough to stop you worrying. It just seems to be one worry after another with this pregnancy lark, doesn't it!

Everything is going fine with me, I have midwife appointment on Tuesday (along with GTT test for being a fatty ) so trying to concentrate on other things to make the time pass quickly! This is helped by the fact that we should hopefully exchange on buying a house today, and move next Wednesday! It's only a couple of miles from where we are now, but the thought of moving is filling me with dread! Because we've not been able to exchange until the last minute, we haven't really organised anything yet!

I hope you guys don't mind, but I've mentioned this thread in a thread in chat about someone having their tube removed because of an EP - they went through hell to be diagnosed, and are now obv upset at losing a tube, so I wanted to point them this way to show all the good news we have had! I really hope no one minds me doing this.

Anyway, take care all, and I will try to be better at updating from now on - although the 2nd trimester burst of energy doesn't seem to have hit yet!

Hi girls,
not sure if my story is of any help to those tcc, but my story is this. i had a heterotopic pregnancy for my first pregnancy- twins, m/c the one in the womb at 7 weeks, ectopic twin discovered when i was 11 weeks and left tube removed. less than a year later i had ds who is 31/2, following ds i had 2m/cs and then dd, who is 14 months. so my fertility wasnt really affected at all.
im 37 now and i and dh are thinking of running with what we have and not going again, we are so blessed.
i just thought my story might give someone some hope.
xxxx

Thanks for the welcome Appleton and the inspiration, moanyhole.

scrumdiddlyumptious congrats on your scan and hope the next ones get you popping the champagne corks!

Well, I have just had a very brief chemical pregnancy. BFP on Tues, BFN and AF today . I know its good that news that I conceived even if the bean didn't stick, but am also worried that it may take another 9 months just to conceive again, let alone get it to stick.

But there we go...I promise to be less maudlin in my next post!

Hi Ladies

I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but it's all gone wrong for me

I went for my 12 week scan on Thurs only to find out that the baby had passed away at about 8 weeks. I'm totally gutted. Everything looked so good, great hormone levels and a heartbeat at 6 weeks. My body shows no sign of miscarrying on it's own, I even still feel sick, so I have a d&c booked for Monday.

I've no idea how I'm going to be able to pick myself up & even think about trying again. This is my fourth failed pregnancy 1st - blighted ovum, 2nd - MMC, 3rd - my beautiful DS, 4th- ectopic and 5th - MMC again. I'm going to ask to see a consultant as this feels like more than bad luck to me, at least I'll feel like I'm doing something.

Anyway, I wish you all the luck in the world with your pregnancies & lilysma I'm sorry to hear about your chemical pregnancy - hang in there.

Edwina xxx

Oh Edwina, I'm so, so sorry . This is devastating.

I don't really know you, but am sending a big virtual hug anyway. I know nothing I can say will help. Sorry that you still have to go through the D&C.

Please be very, very kind to yourself and hope all your loved ones are holding you tight.

Thanks for sending kind words to me even in your current situ.

I really hope the consultant can give you some support.

Hi there, just joined today! I had an EP in 2006 after 3 years of TTC, which resulted in a left salpingectomy. We went on to have a DS in 2008 with just one tube, so it can be done! Unfortunately, i had another EP last year (caused by scar tissue from first) and had the other tube removed! We are now attempting IVF which will start tomorrow! Fingers crossed for us, anyone else out there had something similar?

Oh Edwina I am just devastated for you, just stricken that you have to go through this. I can only imagine how you feel and just hope that you are taking it day by day and you have lots of people around you who are able to support you during this time.

Although, unfortunately, it could just be a string of terrible luck its sounds like it would be a good idea to speak to a consultant just in case there is anything behind it. I'm also wondering if seeing a counseller for emotional support would be something that may be helpful for you? For me personally it wasn't something that appealed but talking to a friend whose baby died at 14 weeks (due to an abnormality) and who has just begun to see a counseller it sounds like it is a really positive step for her and it made me wish it was something I had done after the EP.

Thinking about you so much and sending out a very large virtual and teary hug from Australia. I used to want to smash people in the face who kept telling me things will work out in the end so I won't say that to you BUT when you have gotten through the next shitty and awful few weeks do try and keep in mind that it is much more likely that you will get there than not but I know that isn't something that you will feel like believing right now.

Lots of love xx

PS Mrs Bessie - GOOD LUCK for tomorrow. I don't have personal experience but when I was having a meltdown in my OBs rooms a few months ago he said he had two current patients who were about to give birth having had IVF following 2 EPs and 2 tube removals and that in his world all the people (don't know how many or ages etc) he had refered to IVF following 2 tube removals had ultimately conceived via IVF xx

Edwina....shit shit shit. I am sooo sorry hun. What an absolute gutter. I really hope that today goes as well as it can for you. My recovery after the process of ERPC was thankfully very quick and easy and could begin trying almost immediately (after mmc not EP) but i agree with you about seeing if there is ultimately anything more than just bad luck at work here.

I had six counselling sessions after my EP and they REALLY helped. Occupational health at work sorted it for me as i work in local government - does your work offer this hun?

Bessie - wishing you all the luck in the world. My SD was conceived via IVF after my DH's EX had two tubes removed cos of EP's. She was conceived on the 3rd cycle i believe so it definitely can work....

I am ok. 20wks today - scan next tues (4th) - looking forward to seeing bubs again. i have been feeling him/her move all the time now but DH has yet to feel a kick - hopefully in the next couple of weeks tho. We go on holiday (volcano willing!!) on the 16th for a week and i am really looking forward to a week of relaxing, well as much relaxing as you can do with 13,10,6yr old!! I hate all the maternity costume - so bloody ugly! I am going to by a swimsuit in an 18 and hope that will do do!

love to all

xx

edwinak I'm so, so sorry. MMC is just the cruellest thing. Thinking of you today, and hope you have lots of support x

Hi Ladies,

Thanks so much for your lovely messages, you're all so brilliant. Each of you has really touched me with your warmth & kindness - you all know exactly the right thing to say! Your messages have meant a lot, especially as we hadn't told any family or friends that I was pregnant so they don't have a clue about this (apart from my mum who got a teary phone call last week & has been brilliant).

The ERPC was actually amazingly simple & totally painless and I have very minimal bleeding. I actually almost enjoyed being knocked out! I normally do anything to avoid hospitals and am terrified of operations etc (hence my 2 previous MCs were natural & the EP was just luckily reabsorbed). God forbid, that this ever happens again but if it does, I will be straight down that hospital for another one!! It just helps to be able to focus on the emotional side, having had the physical side taken care of.

I have decided to take every possible avenue of help that is open to me, one of which will definitely be the counselling service offered at the hospital, I really need someone to help me get my head around this as I have no idea where to start. I also managed to get the doctor to agree to send the baby off for analysis (the nurse had been adament that they don't do it for 1st trimester MCs) so I spoke to the doctor & said that even if there was a 0.5% chance of getting some information that might help us, it had to be worth a shot & she agreed so that's good. We'll get the results in a couple of weeks. I am also going to get my GP to refer me to the Recurrent MC clinic and sod it, if I have to shell out & go private to get seen quickly, I will - I have no intention of waiting around!

Thanks again girls, for all your support right through this whole pregnancy. Sending you all lots of love & luck.

Edwina xx

Edwina

Relieved for you that it is over and that it was (in the context of being absolutely shitty) not too bad. Just awful for you though darling and I do hope that you are making sure that you look after yourself and be kind to yourself as you will no doubt be in for a rough few weeks whilst you get a grip on what has happened both physically and emotionally. I'm so pleased that your Mum is aware and has been brilliant and from my past experiences when I haven't really done this, I would say just lean on people as much as possible.

Sounds like you have done a brilliant job of being pushy with the Drs etc - well done you, it can be hard at the best if times, let alone when you are in such an emotionally vulnerable position and ditto re the MC clinic. Both sound like very positive steps in ensuring you get the clearest picture of what is going on and from my experience, I also found it helpful when I felt like I was at least steering, if not totally in control of, the process of trying to achieve a pregnancy.

Lots of love for getting through it and if you need to chat keep posting or if you need some time, hibernate - do whatever feels right.

Good luck xx

Edwina, I'm also really glad that the procedure went well and you are now free to face the emotional fall out. Also really glad that you're getting counselling - this also really helped me after my EP and managed to get the consultants to give you all the information possible. I can't add much to Scrumdiddly's well chosen words, but please do look after yourself and let your loved ones break the fall as much as possible. We'll all be here to support you when and if you need it too.

Right, I thought I would post my latest in another mail as it just seemed I couldn't follow on from my previous one with me, me, me (so I'll just do that in another message ).

Just saw another consultant at the fertility clinic and he opened by saying 'sperm good, eggs good, tubes bad'! I thought 'tell me something I don't know', but he followed up by explaining that often whatever has caused an EP in the first place applies to both tubes, so even though the HSG showed one of my tubes was doing really well, he said that there might still be a problem with the hairs that pull the egg along the tube (which led to the EP, which led to the blockage in the other tube). So he thought that although I could get pregnant naturally (and did with DD after the EP) my chances may not be great and I am a prime candidate for IVF (which would have to be private as I have DD).

This was a bit of a bombshell as I had been assuming what seems to be the normal message - i.e. that fertility is not that much affected by a previous EP/ tube blockage. Has anyone been told anything similar?

He said he would 'leave us alone for six months' unless we decided to go for IVF sooner. My gut feeling is that we have done it naturally before, so could do again. Plus I had a chemical pregnancy last month, though I guess maybe that could've been in the tube. But maybe I am being overly hopeful.

He also said I need to stop BF DD , but that's another story, probably for another thread...

edwina - take time to heal my lovely bu t PLEASE don't feel like you can't share your grief with us, we are not just here for the good times but the REAL times too.

lily - well what a tough situation to be put in....i'd like to think that if it were me i would give my body a chance to conceive for a set amount of time....perhaps a year? And then if no joy go the IVF route.....altho to be honest we couldn't really afford to do that - are you financially in a position to consider it? I was told that my other tube was scarred on the outside when they did my EP surgery from a PID i nevedr knew i had but that they had no idea what the tube inside was like....i took this to mean it would take me years to fall pregnant and would prob be EP but still decided to give it a go after i have emotionally recovered from the trauma of two miscarriages in a year. I conceived two months after making that decision.....wishing you all the luck in the world...xx

Thanks for all your messages ladies, like I said before, they mean a lot.

I am ok, just taking each day as it comes. I have no idea if I am actually 'properly ok' if that makes sense, probably not but I'm able to get out of bed and function fairly normally which has really surprised me. I cried A LOT the day after the op when my mum was here and DS was at nursery, since then I've been feeling a bit better and am focusing on taking whatever positive steps I can. I have decided to throw money at the problem (not that we can afford to but hey ho!) and am seeing the recurrent miscarriage consultant from my hospital in his private clinic tomorrow morning & I have my first counselling session next Fri. I have also been reading Lesley Reagan's book on MC which is really fascinating (although a bit complicated!). I am sure there are going to be loads of down days to come over the coming months but my philosophy is to try & make this as easy for myself as possible and to grab hold of happiness whenever & wherever I can find it - I know it's stupid but I feel like I've just wasted the last 3 months of my life as I've felt so rough, I've been in bed by 9pm, been a total recluse, had no social life etc, I'm planning not to waste a second more by being more miserable than I need to be - maybe this is a bit optimistic but we'll see how we go. DS is a great tonic, I just can't bring myself to be sad around him as I love him so much & I can't bear for him to pick up on the sadness.

Lilysma I am really surprised by what your consultant said. I was under the impression that we have a 90% chance of getting it in the right place having had an EP & therefore not much affected like you say. I will let you know if the chap I see tomorrow has any views on it. Do you mind me asking why he said you had to stop BFing? I was BFing DS when I had my EP and I have always suspected this had something to do with it. Again, if I get the chance, I'm going to ask that question tomorrow too.

Hope you are all having good weeks.
xx

Bad news from me I'm afraid. We had our NT & bloods yesterday and my Papp-A levels were really low (.22) which bought my risk for Downs to a whopping 1:3. The scan itself seemed to have gone well with the sonographer saying congratulations all looks great. There was a nasal bone and the NT turned out to be 2.4 which is below the 3mm cut off they had but on the high side of the median line. We had a CVS after the results and get initial FISH results back early next week. To say that I am devastated is an under statement and aside from fear the baby has downs I am also scared that will have/had had MC from procedure and then the nightmare will be that the baby would have been oK after all. My boobs just don't feel sore today and I feel 'different' but this could be the shock. Anyway not very hopeful of a good outcome right now as the odds are pretty much as bad as they get. Fucking Fucker of life.

Oh Scrum, no, no, NO!.
I can't bear it - I am sure you must be in complete shock.

I am now sending you the biggest, virtual hug from London - I'm totally with you, life is a total shit sometimes.

Virtually impossible I know, but try to hold on to the positives until you get the results. I'm no expert but from the little I know, the nasal bone & NT measurements are all really good pointers.

I have just been reading a book on MC, it talks about CVS. The risk it causing MC is extremely low, there is a good chance that the shock of it all is overiding the pg symptoms plus also, I know everyone says this but symptoms do start to wear off at this point.

Feeling so desperate for you darling and we all know how bloody, bloody awful waiting for answers is. I will be keeping my fingers tightly crossed for you & thinking about you so much. I'm around all wknd if you want to post, rant, chat.

Sending you lots of love
Edwina xxxx

Hey Edwina, thanks for your lovely and heartfelt response, it made me cry and so much appreciated as I know you must be going through the mill yourself. I suppose we must be feeling similar things although I know it ain't quite over for me yet but I feel we are on the way. I know that everyone has a different call on this but I don't think we will continue with the pregnancy if the baby does have Downs. I feel guilty saying this as before DS1 I was sure that I would carry on with a DS baby - and we are friends with a family with a lovely 18 year old DS boy - but now I know the realities of being a parent and family dynamic, I don't think it is for us. Was determined not to google but of course have - you would think the 1 in 3 odds were enough of a misery - but have tortured myself comparing stats. Essentially it is really the very very low (1 percentile) Papp-A which has screwed us, combined with my age (39 soon to be 40) and the slightly above average nuchal fold. There is a bit of hope but not much. I almost wish the scan had been much worse (no nasal bone, thicker scan) so I didn't have this nagging maybe just maybe it will be OK feeling. Anyway, teary ramble from me but really the point of this was to say THANKYOU Edwina and I am thinking of you too in your crappy time xxx

Scrum I feel for you so much, at least my situation is definite, yours to me feels nothing short of torturous. Waiting is just awful, why is it some of us are just destined to have a tougher time of it? Life just isn't fair. Don't feel guilty about not wanting to continue if the baby has DS, you have to do what's right for you & you have your DS1 to think about. What you are going through is hard enough without having to feel guilty about how you feel. I'm not entirely sure how it works but are the blood results more indicative/important than the fold & nasal bone? I mean, unless I'm misunderstanding, if it wasn't for the blood no one would be mentioning Downs. (BTW - My DS's fold was slightly above average too & he's fine.) I am a bit of an eternal optimist (I wish I wasn't at times!) but there's nothing wrong with clinging to the hope that everything will be fine. A 1:3 chance still means you have a 66.66% chance of everything being ok, the odds are in your favour still.

Big hugs, we're all here for you.
xxx