One-tubers TTC again....

[boodleboot]

right then,

DH has decided that after two regular cycles post EP we can try again....was very excited about that prospect until it hit me like a thunderbolt....i only have ONE TUBE NOW....of course i knew this but now i really KNOW this IYSWIM and now feel a peculiar mix of and of course and at the whole situation we find ourselves in....

I want to be positive that it will happen and won't require assisted conception but am really nervous and scared it is going to take forever....or not happen at all....{trying not to think like that....}

calling all one-tubers for a bit of handholding and good old MN support......lets go through it together....

Excellent news!

I will indeed keep everything crossed for you.

I'm still in the no-man's land of not ttc and hating it. Hope to be back in the game soon though.

BBE glad to hear you had a good holiday and are feeling positive. I have just been through all that testing myself - good luck! Let us know how you get on.

Hope you are ok DameGladys, when are you planning to TTC again?

Edwinak - not sure yet. I think we'll chat about it in September and hopefully start again after that.

I know that's sensible in our circumstances but it's still hard to wait and I keep having phantom pregnancy symptoms every month even though I know it's not possible.

Ah well, patience, patience.

Have you had any results back?

Here goes.....
I am just recovering from a Ectopic pregnancy. I Also had my left tube removed.

I have a son nearly 17 & have been trying to conceive for many years with a previous partner. No luck whatsoever!

I suffered from PID a couple of times and Dr said my tubes would probs have scarring. I decided not to start trying again. My career took the lead. I met up with DP 3 years ago with no intention of having children between us due to my infertility issues. Long story short, I found out I was pregnant in march which ended in MC the day I found out at 5 weeks. We were gutted. When I found out I was in shock but happy after all these years of trying to no avail.

I went on a mission to get pregnant again and conceived in June. So delighted,and things were going smoothly until last Thurs I suffered agonising pain for an hour. DP took me to hospital where they gave me pain killers, an external examination & sent me on my merry way. The pain strangely went. I had a EPU scan the Tues. I noticed I still had a slight stitch ache on my left side. Anyway, Ectopic was diagnosed. I was shown the heartbeat which left me even more devastated.

Surgeon shown me pics of Ectopic and very lucky the tube didn't rupture. I was 6 weeks 2 days. My symptoms were minimal too!

He said my right tube "looks" healthy from the outside but need to have a dye test to see if it is blocked. I hope not!

I have been so down and just started to bleed heavily with pain & large clots. I was told the lining of my womb will shed post surgery. Gosh, don't I know it!

Me & my DP are not really connecting at the moment, he is struggling to handle my low mood. I am 34 and have decided to give myself a break. Especially if I need to check the other tube in the meantime. I sure don't want to go through this ever again.

I just need to unload my emotions and hope this site will help me??

wkdshaz welcome. I'm sorry to hear what I rough time you are having. EP is just horrible. You are in good company here though, we all understand. It's natural to feel like you never want to go through all this again, I think we have all felt like that. You are doing the right thing giving yourself a break. If you are anything like me, it's hard to think straight when you are in the middle of it all. Once the dust settles and the shock has lessened you will be in a better frame of mind to think about the future. In the mean time just focus on looking after yourself and concentrate on healing. I have found that time is a great healer mentally too. I think it's hard for guys to understand exactly how it feels with any kind of MC, my advice would be to just be gentle with each other and be honest about how you are both feeling. Just take one step at a time, i'm sure it's worth getting the lap & dye done so you know what's what. Maybe postpone any other decision making about the future until you know the outcome of that? You might be in a better place to make decisions then. Take care.

Thank you edwinak for your kind words. Time is a healer and I am trying to stay positive. I am definitely giving myself a break. My DP has moved out as he can't handle the way I am grieving. I tend to go in my shell (Typical Cancerian)!!

But he wants cuddles and loving etc. That's just not me. He had his 14 year old son staying at the time of my EP and when I came back from hospital his son was still there for two days! I explained to DP I needed privacy and space but he got offended. I think he is being very insensitive. I totally understand how he must feel as he has lost something too. However, it was me that has become pregnant twice lost both and gone through surgery.

I can't wait until I have the dye test to confirm the state of my right tube. If it is blocked then I would consider IVF. I'm trying not to get obsessed of the idea of having another baby. I already have one and I am grateful I have experienced motherhood. There are a lot of women that will never experience that so I need to snap out of this. It is hard. Time will tell. If myself and DP split for good then baby making will be out of the question completely!!

Poor you wkdshaz the last thing you need is relationship problems on top of everything else, I really feel for you. I really hope you can work through it all & become stronger as a result. Grief is such a private thing, I can totally understand why you wanted privacy when you came home from hospital, hopefully your DP will see that soon. It is hard not to get obsessed by it all, I also have a DS who is 2 - like you say, it's important to remember how lucky we are in lots of ways. Look after yourself.

Hiya, I know it's the last thing I need right now. If my DP was abit more sympathetic we would still be together. This sort of thing should bring us closer. It has done the complete opposite. If we can't get through this then we can't get through anything else. Say's it all really. I have had wonderful support from my friends which has helped me through this. I am gutted but I will bounce back up and move on. I will never forget this experience but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

Absolutley - that's the spirit!! I really hope things sort themselves out for you.

Hi All,

A big welcome to the newcomers. So sorry for what you have been through but you have (in my opinion) made a great decision in joining this forum. The support and advice you get is second to none. This place keeps me sane!!

I have some BIG news...I did a pregnancy test this morning and it was positive. Today is the day of my missed period but I've been feeling sick for a week now and had sore boobs . So now I'm but also a little and quite a lot scared. We've been trying for 19 months and just started fertility investigations. I'm so excited but really trying to keep a hold on myself as its so early and we all know far too well the risks and pitfalls involved. Help...think I'm going to need a bit of hand holding. x

Oh BBE!!!!! That"s absolutely WONDERFUL!!! I"m absolutely thrilled for you! (Was it the bicycling do you think?!! ) I know how desperate you have been feeling & how much this BFP must mean to you. Isn't that just typical, just as you start investigations!

Keeping my fingers VERY tightly crossed for you hun. Let's just focus on the brilliant-ness of your BFP & not think about the scary stuff for now!

Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah!!!!!!

omg omg that's great!

Congratulations and I'm keeping EVERYTHING crossed for you to have an uneventful pregnancy.

Aaah it gives me hope.

Thank you so much guys. I am tentatively excited. I have however started to have some cramping and light spotting so off to the docs tomorrow morning. From what I've read these are fairly common symptoms for early pregnancy but when you've been through what we have it makes you a worrier!!!

You've all been so wonderful and so supportive...my faceless friends who have known exactly what I needed to hear along the way. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this is a strong and healthy little one as I was beginning to get so desperate.

I'll keep you all updated and let you know how the docs goes tomorrow. xx

I have a blocked right tube ttc number one and booked for laparoscopy and dye . Had an ectopic in April . Can I join? X

Hello to all newcomers - I found this thread fab when I was in the midst of TTC just after my ectopic. My head was all over the place, and reading that others were in the same boat was really re-assuring.

BBE - fantastic news! I have my fingers firmly crossed for you. The first few weeks are always a nightmare after what we've been through, but once the dreaded 1st trimester is done, it does get much easier and more like a "normal" pregnancy IYKWIM.

I'm now 33 weeks and doing well (apart from hardly being able to walk if I sit for too long at my desk at work!) I don't start maternity leave until 39 weeks, so still a while to go, but I'm enjoying keeping busy. Doesn't leave time for too many negative thoughts!

I hope everyone else is well. Boodle, you must be close to your due date now? How exciting!

Appleton great to hear you are doing well. Make sure you tell us when he/she arrives & you too Boodle if you are still checking in.

Hairy - of course you can join, all welcome here!

Any further news BBE?

xx

Hi guys,

I went to the docs yesterday and she referred me to the EPAS unit for a scan this morning. It was so weird...same place and same faces from my ectopic. Sat in the same room when they confirmed I had had a miscarriage.

I think in my heart of hearts I knew things were going wrong but tried to stay positive for my husband. Obviously the news was sad but in a way I was relieved it wasn't another ectopic...sat in that room I was terrified they were going to say i was in for another 2 weeks of bloodtest limbo before whisking me off for emergency surgery.

I feel a bit shellshocked and I'm a bit ashamed to say I haven't cried. Isn't it strange how different our reactions to things can me. I had a friend who miscarried her first pregnancy and she was literally devastated and didn't get out of bed for a week.

Oh well emotionally cold or not at least I'm still alive and kicking and have my solitary tube still.

Appleton great to hear from you and hear you are doing so well!! I remember those last few weeks well...sleep, and your feet, are a distant memory!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

BBE, so sorry to hear that.

I think your reaction is totally normal - after losing a tube it's the remaining one that is the biggest worry. Getting pregnant almost feels like playing Russian roulette, and although going through is miscarriage is never what anyone would want, at least it hasn't affected your chances for the future. So I can totally understand, and I certainly don't think you're emotionally cold!

I'm sure more emotions will come once you've had a bit of time to process it all. But, just keep reminding yourself that the tube is intact (and obviously working).

I hope so much that you're able to sit in that room again one day and have the good news you deserve xxx

Shit, shit shit.

I'm so sorry BBE.

I do understand exactly what you mean about feeling relieved that at least it wasn't ectopic.

Oh BBE, I'm so so sorry hun. I MC'd my next pg after my EP too so I know how tough it is.

It's scary enough trying again after EP - Appleton described it perfectly, it feels exactly like russian roulette! I totally get that the relief it was ectopic was your overriding emotion, that is completely understandable. No one ever wants to repeat an EP experience.

So, the positives are: you know your tube is in working order & you now know you CAN get pregnant - both really good things to have going for you.

Sending huge hugs and hope you are ok.
Hold on to those positives hun!
xx

Thanks to you all for your lovely messages. Appleton your description is spot on!! Russian roulette is exactly what it feels like.

I'm doing ok just feel exhausted all the time I think I'm totally drained by the whole thing. I'm trying to do as Edwina suggests and hold on to the positives that at least this means my remaining tube and ovary work which was a huge concern.

Hairy-when is your lap and dye booked for? That was something I was booked in for that got cancelled due to recent events. I hear and have read a lot of stuff that suggests your chances of falling pregnant are increased afterwards...that was a huge draw for me. So sorry to hear about your ectopic one of the worst experiences of my life but truly...what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. xx

Hello - can i join please? I am a one-tuber following a ruptured ep 11 months ago.

BBE so sorry to read of your m/c. You are certainly not cold. I had a m/c in March and the relief that i could still conceive and (once things started to go wrong) the relief that it wasn't another ep kind of helped me get through it so i know exactly how you feel.

Still ttc with no luck. It's weird but i regularly forget that i only have one tube and that could be the reason why it's taking so long. I am also 38. I am having the day 2 and day 21 tests too to check out eggs and progesterone levels.

Slowly i am accepting that i may not be able to have any more children and i count myself very lucky to have a beautiful 2 and a half year old dd. I still can't help desperately symptom spotting during the 2ww though!!!!

Welcome Ja9ne. I'm sorry to hear about all that you've been through. I also had a MC, discovered at my 12wk scan, after my EP so I understand what you've been through. Good luck with all the tests, fingers crossed you will have reassuring results. The fact that you have already had a successful pg really points in your favour.

It's worth remembering that you can still conceive even if you have no tube on the side you are OV'ing, the other tube 'wafts' over & catches the egg. Appleton is living proof that this can happen!

Anyway, you are very welcome & in great company here!

BBE thinking of you, how are you? x

Hi BBE so sorry to hear your news.

I'm on the waiting list, so not booked yet. I've had a hycosy (which they say can help) but tube was totally blocked, hopefully the lap and dye will be more stringent and help more! :)

I've had a down few days this week as i'm not pregnant this month, and am going to give it three months after lap - and then think about IVF (so I need to start serious saving now!)

Hi all, I'm ok had a few down days so I'm having some time off work to just look after myself. I only had 2 days off with my EP and i'm sure that was why it took me so long to get over it physically and emotionally.

I'm starting to think I need to get back in touch with the fertility investigation team...everything was cancelled thinking I'd acheived the GOAL.

My husband is away in the Ukraine at the moment until Spetmeber so I'm really missing him...especially now.

Hairy good luck with the lap and dye you'll have to let me know how you get on as that is something that I was down to have. IVF was something we were considering too...shame its so bloody expensive! Have you heard about the egg sharing scheme? You donate half of your harvested eggs and you get IVF half price...not sure if it is something you would consider but thought I would let you know all the same. xx