30s TTC - After all, we're not nice 'down there' at the BESH of times...

[CUNextTuesday]

cunty Shouldn't that be: 'My mum's coming to stay! AAAAAARRRRRGHH!!! Kill me now.'?

Or maybe you live in a different universe from me.

I luffs my mum I do. She's a little bundle of minxy fun, despite being 70. Got xmas shopping and curtain choosing on the cards. Got to pick her up from Euston soon and I KNOW she'll have brought a suitcase that is bigger than her

Maybe stupid question, but does she know? I mean, are you telling people? I know she's not "just people"... but I wondered anyway.

If your Mum's 70, surely that makes her prime BESHspiration? Hope you have a lovely time with her - I have a feeling that no shop is safe this week

PS Yes, does she know?

Thanks for the manly hugs and slaps, and special thanks for the most wondrous on fire cocktail, that proper hit the spot!

ps both me and tgo august babies so I know how wonderful they are, however this non existent baybee would have probably just sneaked into July. Perhaps it's THIS month I will get my baybee to get another august one! - haha yes, just done the calculator thingy and if the squeaky metal shithead arrives say 9th nov, and we hits the jackpot this month, it would be a mid/late august baybee. Right then, that's the plan. Everyone ok with that?

Cos lions are the best, nuff said. Glad you?re ok chuck.

Cunty does minxymum know? We must know. I still don't know how to break the news - assuming there is news to break (all will be revealed on FRIDAY the sodding 13th).

Gin I want a pint with you. Mind you, I wanna have pints with the lot of you. But I am stuck with my gin free orange juice and the most exciting thing in my life at the mo is lemon sherbets.

cos no worries. Hope you didn't lose the end of your evening,that's what the bloody thing did to me! Apparently I did lots of very amusing/twattish things but tis all a blank to me. Mr gin said I was obv 'trying to be 18 again' (without success.saddo)

am glad you and tgo are okay. am amused that your 'ps' was 3 times longer than your message.

kim I wasn't selecting extreme over the rest of you lush beshes,but I do know that she is in the same city as me,and within 'meeting in the pub' distance at that. So extreme don't be scared,am not stalking you! Do think you're luvverly still tho.and do are you kim.and I love sherbert lemons!

Random waves of nausea today. Strong ones. Am fucking not going to convince myself am pg this month,just can't be arsed! What will be will be n all that bollocks.

Although mr gin and I did decide this morning that we prob can't cope with another child (we were up all night cos mani poorly) So what with that n Xmas with all it's alcoholic delights looming (my brothers Russian fiancé coming over so There Will Be Drinking) I am,by the rule of ironic updiffment,almost certainly With Child

Oh good gin I thought you wuz two-timing the rest of us.

As for your nausea, shit. Isn't that your pg MO? (mod op, not melting ovaries) La la leos.

i just wanna pint. i don't even care who it's with. although you lot would be cool

not even a gin style pint of wine. just a regular pint of rubbish lager will do.

i keep having sneaky swigs from blokeys drinks but have generally been v. good.

i think i should be replying to loads of people but not good at keeping up at the mo. been working all day to avoid any late nights next week but will trawl through properly later.

carrots i sobbed my heart out watching Up. thought i was gonna bawl out loud and make everyone look at me. and i'm normally dead 'ard i am. will be interesting to see how you fared .....

kim lotsa luck on fri. My mum will tell you that's it's a load of nonsense the 13 thing. She was born on the 13th (not of this month) and obv her birthday is sometimes a fri 13th. As she would point out,she us great and a blessing to the world an' all and therefore the 13th must be a most excellent date

like our cunty I have a proper ace mum.

Right, kim,cheggs you can both have virtual pints so.... Who the fuck is batman this thread? Can we have bill bailey?

Bill, pints for the lovely laydees please. And some sherbert lemons. Ta.

She --us- is

really should preview before posting,teeny fucking iPhone keyboard. And the smartarse always thinks it knows what I want to fucking say!

Oh FOR FUCK'S SAKE! us

ggggrrrr.

Oh banana hammocks. Obviously I don't think bill bailey should be batman. My phone does though.

cheggers What an absolute tear-fest! Total make-up wipeout. I mean, the bit after the cloud babies - ooooooohhhhhh I thought my heart would break. Fortunately I was warned that I'd need tissues otherwise I would be in serious trouble. Little carrot cried too, but only when Kevin was nabbed and he thought it was all too scary, but fortunately I was able to reassure him all would be well, it being Disney. But he was properly scared, poor bairn.

An amazing, unmissable film. Absolutely gorgeous and one of the best I've seen in a long time. But my, it made me cry.

Did you get the lovely little cloud film first? Oh that stork was so lovely! Oh I am such a bloody poof sometimes, but seriously, it was just aaahhhh what a friend!

OK, thanks for bringing that up here now, making me out to be a total softie. But honestly, I challenge the hardest of BESH's to see it without sobbing (yes even cunty). Just don't go just after a babyfail. Seriously.

scorps I though that about cunty's mum, too - the BESH part I mean.

Tee hee - my mum's the BESH. Actually, my mum had me at 20 and my brother at 22. But you know what I mean.

I thought my eyes were going to melt in the first five mins of 'Up', with the effort of not wailing out loud (still had a proper silent cry, with TYF also looking 'moist' and nestling his head against mine whilst squeezing my hand in a way that suggested he wasn't doing it solely to reassure me). No-one warned me about the heart-wrenching infertility scenes. I saw it just after a babyfail, which didn't help Top film, though. Also cried when he finally reads through his wife's book of adventures... oh god, I'm starting to well up!

'Rots, MY mum is the best. As Harry Hill would say, 'there's only one way to find out... FIIIIGHT!!!'.

Went to gym and a bit of the babyfail blues has (have) gone. Shame I can't say the same for the babyfail comfort-eating flab

None of you bastards are stalking me. SULK.

Someone tell me to not POAS till Wednesday.

scorp I can't fight, I may be pregnant .

Not us, them - our Mums! Tho' I have to warn you that my Mum's nickname is 'The Tasmanian Devil'

Hope you are updiffed - and if you are, I shall just aim for the face in any fights we have. Can't call me unfair

carrots don't POAS just yet, it won't change the outcome either way.

I've been reading on the stupid PDA all weekend and you've all made me laugh, especially ginhag with her toddler who can recognise different types of alcohol at 500 paces!

I have a cunning plan with respect to dragging ginhag into our fold... if someone will furnish me the name of her business (and she doesn't mind) - I will trawl her website for a contact address and made direct contact for the Secret Santa list.

Cosmosis I am totally about your babyfail - snot fair.

Having not had a damp eye since animal hospital type shennanigans and Taggart last week I burst in to tears twice again yesterday. Once in the morning when he was being nice and once in the evening when he took the dogs out for a walk - I decided he wasn't coming back. He did however assure me that should he be doing a runner the last thing he'd take was a fucking poodle.

Another awesome fight/tears at the stables this weekend and someone fell off on the main road when a motorbike backfired. Horsey girls are awesome for tantrums. I told a few people my plans for opening my own stables and have 2 new customers. huzzah. I think running a stables/being a mum can work - I've seen it done, ex-stables owner used to dress her toddler up in a quilted all-in-one and let him get on with it and strap him down in a buggy when she rode.

Big hugs for hawaiiancunty today and her ickle frozen baybees. If all 3 take might I be so bold as to put first dibs on a "spare"?

"He did however assure me that should he be doing a runner the last thing he'd take was a fucking poodle."

QOTD to ski. That just made my bleurgh Monday morning seem much better.

Thinking of you, cuntshine. Hope all goes brilliantly.

I think you'll find that my mum's the best. Beeyatches.

Like ski, have had a very emotional weekend. Wept solidly for most of Sunday morning and was only comforted by a decent shag a manly cuddle and hairstrokes. Given I have yet to ovulate this month, I view this development with deep suspicion, as it suggests that I may have become so outrageously hormonal that I should be put down.

Ski I'm crying with laughter at the thought of jailbait and the poodle. Seems you are very hormonal... When are you going to POAS?

Carrots when is your droid due? I think you should not POAS until you are late (says she who has spent £££ on wasted early testing for the last 18 months). It is fucking heartbreaking when you get the 'go away, of course you are not diffed you idiot woman' symbol. And then you spend the next few days convincing yourself it was really a 'positive but too early to show'. Mental.

Ideal I know how you feel. What day are you on? I am on day 19, don't know if I have ov'd (think prob not), can't stop crying at the 'wasted month' and the weight of my appt at FC on 1st Dec is just hanging over my head. I felt sure that once I had an appt I would of course get diffed, because that was sods law. But it seems not.... waaaaahhhhhhh

Yay for Cuntshine and her frozen baybees, I am pinning all my hopes on her this month

Ski I am off to visit my mate on Thurs (the one who runs a livery yard). She is same age as me (38) and ttc#1. She has similar plans - wrap it up, chuck it in buggy or dress in head-to-toe waterproofs and wellies and let it join in. I am keen to see how this pans out! Sounds like an ace way to grow up to me

Yo BESHES! Cannot believe I've been away a couple of weeks and missed an ENTIRE thread!

Could someone fill me in on what I've missed? Who are these new lovelies? Is it true that Cnutface has secured a diff?

And speaking of joy - I've just had a 30 day cycle! - go me! It may mean that I actually ovulated - at least that's what I'm telling myself. I didn't take much notice this month due to being on my holidays..and let me tell you, not kowing your CD is utter bliss after nearly a year of desparate counting and guessing. Anyhoo, I'm revelling in my "normal" cycle (despite the evillest period pains since school) and am detremined to take the rest of the year off from CD counting. So I'll be lurking but not allowing myself to regularly post but I do miss you all dreadfully.

Polly Well the woman I mentioned had 3 boys under 10 who all seemed healthy and pragmatic. It was also a lesson for Ginger to work well in the school with 3 boys on a trampoline not 10m away...

The biggest problems she seemed to have were:
i) trying to explain to Robin that he was not supposed to run under the horses tummys!
ii) taking it to heart when other mums sneered at the fact her boys had muddy hands and non-ironed jeans.

Apparently if he leaves he'll be taking his snowboard and his X-box, a poodle doesn't help his image. He says.

I'm not sure I am going to POAS yet - I'm sick of it. I'm going to make sure I'm really late as opposed to "4 days early and maybe".

VAG Get your clever regular ovaries over to fb and sign yourself up for Secret Santa pls.

Oooh Secret Santa! Fabbo!

Have been to Fb and cannot see it. Though have shaved now.