30s TTC - After all, we're not nice 'down there' at the BESH of times...

[CUNextTuesday]

hell yes!

got your number sunshine. Still feel like that!

Hint: trying weeing on it, not shitting. I know how difficult it is to know which is the right hole for what, but still...

(PS You better be updiffed after all this excitement!)

Polly, what are you on about re: Star Wars on FB?!?!?!

Its a quote from Spaced. It makes me larf innit

Good. I think because this is the first month since January that I've actually thought it a possiblity, I have just been mostly sitting in a corner freaking out about the whole thing.

I mean, it's just kind of final isn't it? You can't change your mind if you don't like it and it is fairly fundamentally life changing. I'm afraid to say I have given serious (although admittedly fairly fleeting) thought to going back on the pill....... I quite like my life just now - do I want to (potentially) mess it up?

I think one of the problems is I don't feel old and responsible enough, even though I know I am knocking on a bit. By the time she was my age my mil had a 14 yr old, a 12 yr old, a 10 yr old and a 2 yr old!!!! I couldn't do that! That's mental.

(apologies for latenight semi tipsy outpouring of subconscious).

s'ok scorps, if I get a fail, I'll just lie and tell you all it's a pass.

And then in 9 months I'll take freaky pictures of me with doll or teddy bear or sommat, pretending it's my baybee.

Oooh, that reminds me - when coming back from Manc on my birthday, we had to take a detour back through our town and we went down a street we never need to go down usually and there is a shop there specialising in those heinous 'Re-born' dolls.

I'm getting a job lot for the wholesale price for Xmas pressies all round

well there we are then. Baybees all round. Hurrah.

Cossy don't worry - it is entirely normal to freak a bit. TBH I think you are more adult and responsible than you think you are - a teenage differ would probably not give a thought to what parenthood would actually be like and what kind of parent she might make.

When I was diffed I remember talking to the midwife about what the hell had I done, was I ready for this etc. I didn't worry so much that I didn't know how to look after a baybee (a nice lady in the 'ospital taught me), I worried more that I would be responsible for this person's emotional and mental wellbeing and that scared the fuck out of me! I could actually be responsible for fucking someone's life up.... what a hideous responsibility, I thought. But the midwife told me that I shouldn't expect to be a perfect parent, there is no such thing, and we can only do our best. She then told me that she felt it was a good sign that I was considering all these potential pitfalls and problems. The very fact that you are considering all this stuff makes me think you will be a great mummy.

Babies are forgiving too - they learn with you and they love you even if you do drop a bottle of bathroom cleaner on the poor poppets head at 3am [shame] Or when you cut a toenail too short and make it bleed. Please don't report me to SS

It's ok, have been breathing into the brown paper bag, so not quite a stressy as I was. I have however, finished my wine so I think I'll be off to bed.

Headbuts all round as a good night.

Sorry, that was a bit serious wasn't it?

Last drinky before bed me thinks. Very strange but I fancy a hot choc. That must be a symptom of something surely? (yes you mad old cow, its a symptom that you are a sad old dried up harridan!)

ooh pulls up a pew for the sat morning pissing event.

come on Cos. back of the net for the beshies please

actually may not be around for the result as i'm off to collect my verr sexy made to measure maternity support tights. mmm i fear this pregnancy lark won't be kind to me

gin you old slaaaaaag - special yo for you! i'm not lost. just skulking, knackered and a bit nervous it will all go away.

on the flip side though i have no doubts whatsoever about my future parenting skills. despite being a bit useless and irresponsible - it's just not something that worries me.

my lovely lover has taken to getting battered quite a bit more now i'm knocked up claiming he can relax now he doesn't have to be the responsible adult.

dunno what that says about my old behaviour

anyway (stat geek) you all know this is our 10th thread? wanders around the palace hanging pink fertility bunting and pink champagnes for when yous all wake up.

Hello cheggars Congrats on your diffment, when are you due?

Yay, Cosmo's gonna POAS....

come the fuck on Cosmo, we are waiting.

Hi cheggers. Was starting to think that this was a bad-karma thread with V few up-diffs so V pleased to meet you.

Cos I'm waiting... I can wait all day if necessary... (said in a very stern tone)

Scorps thanks for the science lesson my lovely, but I DO understand the whole temp spike thing perfectly, thank you . My prob was that, if you'd been listening, which clearly you haven't (puts on Gran's bifocals and looks over them at you), I had plenty of OV signs 8 days ago and estimated OV day 6 days ago but NO temp spike after estimated OV date (hence it's ESTIMATED - Gettit?). SO I thought I'd not ovd (despite pre-ov signs) but temp taken yesterday (5 days post estimated ov) with new thermometer shows high temp AND my prev thermom was showing ultra-low temp (I was dead, remember?) SO I am guessing that I DID ov 6 days ago but thermom didn't register it. SO I am now barking.

And breathe.

PMSL @ cunty re "they're". Reddit, thought, "that's not like her - must be up-diffed brain-mushing hormones" then saw your post a few after. Very amusing .

medee Oooooohhhhh. OK. Not so respect then . I had so many fab mental images!! Bit disappointed in you to be honest .

OK Now do I sit here desperately waiting for cos's news (which may have been posted while I write this) or do I go to FC to see poopoo's comments about Star Wars? Decisions, Decisions.

OK so I am now going slightly mad.

Oh I didn't finish last comment. Looks like I forgot to. Must be diffed .

OK so I am now about 6 days post estimated ov (keeping up scorp? ) and actually wondered whether I shoudl POAFS this morning. Had to actually get up, walk myself to the loo which doesn't have them stacked up, wee, and flush so NO chance whatsoever of doing it today and just wasting one.

But I had a dream last night that we did a test, it was positive (is this a sign ?) and in celebration YOB tried to bite out my front teeth. Given that this isn't a ritual we traditionally undertake in OUR family I am hoping that it isn't something from HIS side. I will take a careful look at his mum's mouth next time I see her.

Oh and another sign. I was listening to Desert Island Disks while driving to a meeting yesterday morning with Jerry Springer. And I wept so much I had to re-do my mascara before I went into the meeting. See FC for details of said meeting as I am [shocked] beyond belief and don't know what to say, do, think or whether to be angry, just shake my head or - well - I don't know.

Darn it, ed

Morning Carrots. I've been waiting for ages to hear from Cosmo.... sigh. Boo no longer enjoys her lie-ins (until about 9.30) and instead gets up by 7.

I wish I could remember to do temperatures... would be more reliable than persona.

Carrots that is rather a strange dream - and apparently you do get weird vivid dreams when diffed.

What happened yesterday? Can't see anyfink on facewank.

Cosmo are you even AWAKE yet?!

Wheee, happy tenth - I was going to say anniversary or birthday, but both of those would be tragic - something to us. I shall celebrate with a lovely visit to the gym.

Cheggers - always grateful for the drive-by updates. How diffed are you at this stage? Apart from the need for the sexy maternity support tights.

Cos. We is waiting for the verdict of the POAS. Not to pressure you, obv.

Carrots, how very dare you? This isn't a bad karma thread. We just all blether too fucking much to allow more than one updiff per thread, if that. (Although, in fairness, we are all doing the work of the devil in postponing our baby-making to our thirties, so maybe our karma is horrid).

Sorry ideal you're right!

Not posted the FC thing just yet, but have been typing for about 1/2 hour. It's terribly personal and I'm talking about large amounts of money which sounds really odd to talk about. I just need to ask it but don't know how to. Work in progress.

I'm intrigued now, will wait

No Cos yet?

OK I've posted short version. Long version took about an hour to write and was totally ranty and irrelevant.

Anyway, back to thread here. poo I always have full-technicolour, dolby surround sound dreams so I don't think it's a sign, and I am pretty sure that little carrot does, too. He wakes up and gives a really extensive dream description where normally I've done something wrong which he goes through in great detail, then says, "why did you, Mummy?".

Oh and I'm with you on the call SS thing. I actually did the baby shaking thing - really, really bad. He'd been crying for about 3 years or so and I picked him up and shook him screaming STFUSTFUSTFUSTFU, then I came to my senses, put him down on the changing table, ran out screaming, "I've shaken my baby, I've shaken my baby" then ran back in screaming "I've left my baby on the changing table! I've left my baby on the changing table!". He was fine. That is my worst baby breakdown (thank goodness) but sweetbabyjesus I thank all that is out there that I didn't do any damage. It wasn't a HARD shake . @ myself.

Otherwise it was the usual stuff, like the toenail thing (did that to my poor dog, too, and he's NEVER forgotten it), dropped him in the bath, dropped him various times actually, carried him through the door without realising he's wider than the doorframe (meaning his head was sticking out, not that he was really fat), etc etc.

He's happy, healthy and bright so I'm amazed that they are so resiliant!!

D'you think cos knows the hour's changed?

If we all shout really loudly maybe she will wake up?

Dammit, Cosmo, piss already! Aw, I feel sorry for her now. No, wait - POAS! POAS!

Soz Carrots, there was someone who was confused about OVing and I think I was presuming it was you. I have been wrapped up in my birthday-babyfail and feeling even more self-obsessed than usual. I have written a v long response to your FB AIBU, if that makes up for it? [grovel]

SOOOOO bored with waiting now to be able to SWI. And have accidentally booked all-day trip to London on most fertile day. Magic. I don't like morning sex but shall demand that TYF molests my semi-conscious form before he goes to work and I swan off to the capital. Mmmmm, sticky knickers on the train. Crustylicious all day long.

And helloooooooooooo, Cheggers! Can you post some sexy lingerie pics of these specially-made pregno-tights on our FB group? Am intrigued and yet quietly alarmed at the notion of needing pregno-tights specially made. Or do they not sell them where you are? And how are you feeling?