30s TTC - After all, we're not nice 'down there' at the BESH of times...

[CUNextTuesday]

scorps you are proper making me laugh today... I had no idea about saliva and babyfail

Garlic Doughnut????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am fine with cuteicklebaby talk but am only month two so still excited and optimistic. Although I did go a bit menkul when icklebabysisterinlaw got pregnant after a one time condom failure. I do feel guilty though as she has been with bloke longer and now has to inject herself daily to stay pregnant. Am convinced my jealous thoughts of IT WAS MEANT TO BE ME FIRST COS I IS THE OLDEST! have condemned her. So that's pretty menkul. Now I am no longer jealous and just excited for her. The fertile cow.

Muser, mmm, that's some tasty menkul you've got going on there. You did NOT cause SIL's problems. The rest of the world's probs, yes, but not that

Iggy, glad to be of service, though would've preferred to make you laugh in person today. so near and yet so far...

Garlic doughnut = foofoo. Like chocolate starfish = Mr Hankey's hole. I can't remember if 'garlic doughnut' is a proper slang word or just something me and my brother invented in our teens when we were off our nuts on Advocaat one Xmas (never again). Still, it makes me laugh.

(I also invented a proper swearword that Xmas that I have, over the years, got loads of people saying it in RL and the internet but am shy to reveal it here in case that a lurker recognises me, however para and mad that may be)

well, if we're all weighing in with what we don't like, I get a bit upset at updiffed BESHes being all pleased with themselves for eating food that can cause miscarriage. Frankly I think it is irresponsible to be eating blue cheese and raw shellfish but it is of course your body and your choice if you do it. You don't have to go on about being proud of yourself about it though

Now, back to the weather and the ickle baby jeebus.

Why should it upset you Bess? My understanding was that this was a place that had a healthy and intelligent disrespect for food fascism and trying to make women's behaviour the object of criticism and derision because they are pregnant. These things cause miscarriage in 0.0000001% of cases and only if you are slack with use by dates. Listeria is a tiny tiny risk if you look after your food.

Pregnant women are told that so many things will almost assuredly cause them to miscarry or have a challenged child - if we took so much notice we'd never get out of bed.

bessie I don't get upset by that cos everyone has right to choice and BESHies are intelligent and read info and make decisons based on reading/ research , but also don't choose to personally eat those things cos I couldn't face the thought of another MC having anything to do with something I have done.

Plus I loves the palace

Where is VAG

give us back our gin

I just ignore stuff said about food, mostly. I will, at this stage, come out and say I am following the rules cause my body causes enough problems as it is - including fucked up immunity. But the way I see it, what we say on here and what we do in RL could be completely different anyway.

scorps I don't believe the saliva thing. it is our lubricant of choice

I thought most of that eating nonsense was in the same fold as our downing drinks on a regular basis in the palace... ie only in web-life not RL. However, I do think that some of those things are greatly overstated in their ill effects.

Anyway - back to my 1WOOFLing: I tested this am - and got a big NEGATIVE, but that basically means that we won't be having triplets, and still a good chance for a plump singleton. I'm calmer now. (slugs iggy for her nod to me earlier)

I should run off and write Cosmosis a niiiiice long email, maybe two!

If this was a bit cheaper, it's defo what I'd get for my Secret Santa recipient: check it! I think we should all get one, to signal our secret BESHterhood membership

A thought for darlin' Camel, who's suffering the Pink Stuff Blues - if you've had dildocam/general medical prodding recently, couldn't that have made you sore down below and caused a little bleed? Sometimes I get a bit of pink discharge a few days after a smear. Hope that thought doesn't make things worse

scorps that's PERFECT! You are brilliant, you!

It comes naturally, Shinycunt

Love it, scorp

Agree with cunty on the food thing although I wasn't planning on eating raw shellfish (eww). You know, after Sept 11th more additional Americans have died on the roads through travelling by road instead of flying than actually died on the day itself. Understanding risk is something not many people can do - I know I find it hard - but at the same time I try to look at as much info as possible and make my own decisions. Meaning, while I am not going to choose to eat blue cheese (well I wouldn't anyway, it's mouldy and yucky) I'm not going to beat myself up if I accidentally had some either by forgetting or not realising it was in a product. And I think that what winds me up is that the info is so misunderstood that so many poor, poor women have a totally stressful time without good reason.

I'm still gonna cross the road even though I may get hit by a car, but I made the decision with littlecarrot to stop horseriding because that was the right decision for me - but fully supported my friend who rode until she was about 7 or 8 months.

I'm now trying to decide whether to go on the offroading (Landy) course bought for me by YOB for my birthday . Probably will, and soon, so there's no extra weight to bounce around.

I think that bessie is right to be concerned and I understand that feeling of "why would you risk that", but as she says, it's up to everyone to evaluate that risk for themselves.

Well girlz (ironic, alright?) it's been a hell of a day in the palace. Do you all need some Cosmic lovin?

Come over here for a grope then??

I'll come right out with it, what fucks me right off about here is there's not enough violence and lesbian action any more. It's just not the same as it was in the early days.

Faster, CosmoCat! Kill! Kill!

Ah, that's better

Shit! cosmo is already wearing a gimp mask there goes Christmas...

So anyway, back to this ttc malarkey. Last night, during the lead up to what was supposed to be SFF, but just ended up as a row, TGO said to me, "what's up with your boobs, they're all veiny - look at that massive blue vein there"

Now I can see you are all thinking hurrah, stilton norks for Cosmo. Fatal flaw however, I iz only on CD6. Note, not 6DPO, actual CD6, droid only just left the building. So, 2woofling before ov, anyone??

Cos I think you should lick scorpy's boots some more...

The only "symptom" I have is a twitch right upper arm and side - perhaps it was the spoon I slept on wrong last night?

FUUUUCK! FuckityfuckfuckFUCK! I'm feeling zen, but BARRENZEN. I just have this sinking feeling this is it...

WTF! - oh well, it will be whatever it will be... bend like a fucking reed, that's me!

Where's my fucking frozen ahi? I need a first class beating. Maybe I can splash it with gin.

shineycunt the spoons go under the bed, you dozy cah!

C'mere, I'll whack you with this frozen pollock. Stop sniggering you at the back, I said Pollock!

hahah you nutter. Do you say "flid" too? And know the origins ? And have to explain it to a shocked-faced TYF?

Bessie I'm really sorry you feel that way and none of us here are seriously going to start eating oysters left out in the sun with rancid cheese chasers... but a little perspective (I feel) should be applied. A piece of Stilton from Sainsbury's cheese counter is a million miles away from a stall in a Delhi slum selling cheese from big plastic vats filled with saline! I'm more sorry that women are buying this absolute gumph. There was a woman TTC last week freaking out because she'd had a Brie sarnie from boots. Give me strength!

muser Well, she may be pregnant but she's still thick slag who can't operate a condom!

Cosmosis Well perhaps you can start taking photos of your norks and put them in polly's boob database?

Oooh, get me, posting during the day!!

Ha, up yours internet masters of the universe.

(haz day off)

ski I knowz your sort, you just want to leer at my boobies, don't you? I was warned about people like you.....

Oooh get her with her "out of office" replies and then turning up here. Actually jailbait has offered to compare boob photos for Polly and anyone else who needs them inspected. He's nothing if not giving and wanting the best possible result for all of you.

I'm less interested in your boobs and more interested in your thighs... I've come over all Dylan Thomas; ship-wrecked.

YAY for hot lesbo action!