30s TTC - After all, we're not nice 'down there' at the BESH of times...

[CUNextTuesday]

I moaned/made cry eyes at doc after five months off pill and she did the PCOS tests. Not sure where it would have gone if they had not been clear.

I am now officially infected. Anti-bs and anti-hists for skin. No action yet on the PG stuff cause he says it's too early. Got to go back in three weeks.

extreme we've been officially SWIing for three months (sorry I meant 13) but had another three when I was waiting for meds to clear my system, so it's been a six-month project. Sorry if that's not long enough...

Did you glue your butter dish back together, or buy a new one pigs

cunty I bouught a new one - I well and truly broked it when i dropped it

rots will maybe go in new year - is prob good plan

get out the fuckin way biiiatches!!!

Whats her praaaaaaaahblem?

wassup gin?

Told my mum.

She says she's excited but won't get too excited to my face/on the phone cause she knows i'm being cautious, but she is excited. But she knows I don't want her to be too excited.

that's pretty much verbatum. So I think she's excited.

ghosty that is a far better reaction than my mum - she said:

What?! That's a bit soon... I knew you shouldn't be relying on condoms for contraception - they are so unreliable...

honist

LOL iggs. But to be fair mine has known from the start that we were planning and we'd talked about the blood tests and everything. She was expecting that text message to come some month soon. (yes, I did tell her by text. that way I got to say 'hold your horses' before she went completely screechy menkul down the phone)

ROFL @ poor ol' piggy's mum.

Have decided I'm officially still barking.

Because (and you'll like this).

Is it the droid, is it an implantation bleed, or is it my fanny being shredded by my fingernails going up there AGAIN.

Because if it's the droid, it's a) a bit early, by about 5 days (bad news = short luteal phase) and b) it's bloody - well not bloody. TMI alert: slight mark on pad and a bit showy on finger, but 'tis all despite several hours and plenty of cramping. Can't remember cramping but bleed style just like Littlecarrot, whereas when I was going natural last time, droid came on pretty darned quickly.

I'm about 9 days post OV. So until I start to actually bleed out and end up needing a transfusion, I'm not giving up.

Told you I was being positive

you see I told my mum i never want any baybeez and have been saying that since I was about 15... plus when I told her I came off pill in 2007 - she was all 'well what will you do for contraception '

I think she thinks I am 13 - not 33...

carrots Go on then, POAnotherStick. As you have living proof of your ability to be knocked up, I shall bow to your superior wisdom re the potential of being preggers post-bleed.

Gin Stop biting Captain Sparrow and get in the queue, woman!

Curly is only a wee baby-BESH, so her 3 proper months is 6 months for the rest of us. I'm all about the crazy bartering-maths today Still, am SOOO happy for you and the SFF (not so happy about your skin, poor beautiful thing).

Carrots, I hate to tell you but almost as soon as we started TTC, I started getting spotting and the infamours braaaaahn bits for up to a week before the droid was due. Never happened before (or if so, was only one day or so), so I know it is my body either taking the piss out of me OR wreaking it's revenge for waiting so long to do what it was designed for or both

My Mum is so broody that I think she may have a full-on eppo when I eventually have 'news'.

What's up Ginnypops?

Sorry. Was a bit busy there. Cab someone hose me down please?

am just feeling all fucked off. Continuation of the moan I started yesterday. And then camel opened the pit and it seemed the best place to go.

Fight Club Brad! Jack Sparrow Jonny! Gird your loins boys, I'm on my way back. You haven't cheered me up enough yet...

scorp ahhhh but that's logic and believe me, I'm waaayyyy past that ATM

No, I'm ok. I'll see how things are in the morning. Somehow feeling better than when POAS were laughing at me.

ideal clearly as I'm going through implantation bleed there's no point POAS just yet as it will take a few days for the embryo to start producing the stuff the STPO pick up on. Obviously. I mean, why would anyone POAS before then? Wouldn't catch me doing it. Coz I lock the bathroom door, mostly.

Gin have a hose down with my nifty gin-filled hosepipe.

evening all!

carrots bet you've never pissed on the same stick twice...in case there was a bit more hcg in there 2nd time,and to stop you using another new one...

Of course I haven't done such a thing. I understand science and am not a mentallist

I just managed to hide this thread by mistake! Was very worried I had totally lost the palace!

Have joined the other place. Full facefuck doesn't work well on the phone though,so I'll only get on it in the evenings (and maybe at work but I think I may have banned it so not sure if that shows great leadership skills!)

Where the fuck is mr gin,eh? He knows I feel like shit and he's STILL not back from work.

Gggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Well, heeellloo there laydeez,

Just popped in to congratulate Gasper on the updiffment...well done girlfriend.

And also to say not to panic too much on rash - on both occasions that I was updiffed I had allergic reactions to stuff, despite never having a reaction to anything else before in my life. I was super itchy and covered all over in a rash - could it be something like that Curly? For me it was my shampoo and conditioner.

By the way, can anyone tell me the etymology of the the term 'updiffed'? I haven't been around long enough to know what it means...

hey cho and thanks. I have a plain old infection in my skin. GP says totally unrelated to PG, so here's hoping the meds clear it up and I can get on with obsessing about normal things, like how my womble region doesn't half hurt.

I assumed updiffed was a variation on up the duff.

gin hope the silence means Mr Gin came home and all is better.

Had managed to completely miss the arrival of captain Jack (sparrow, not harkness, sci-fi fans) in the palace. I want him to entertain me please

Casper yeah he's home. Am still a poorly,cranky bitch though

glad the itchies treatable n non-scary,hopefully that'll be feeling much better soon!

Have realised that my granny (and mum) are from where you are from and I went there every summer and lots of xmases though my childhood. And now I think you live in the same town as my brother. Ooo small world etc etc.

chocho what Caspar said. Though most of us are slightly unsure as to exactly how it came about. Guess it's like most articles of faith, it Just Is.

Why the fuck am I spending my time being ABSOLUTELY convinced I am diffed and then ABSOLUTELY convinced I am not. I know I did a pg test but see,side 1) says ooo tested way too early,twat...and side2) says but with the 'FakeBaby'(tm) pg I tested v early and that was positive...

And blah blah blah it's me vs me on an endless loop in my head. It's the worst WOOFL I have ever had.

Ps I heart Noel fielding. Even though he looks like a skateboard in a black wig.

I fancy Julian Barratt. Have done for at least 10 years. Noel Fielding is hot-but-ugly. Do you know that the guy who plays Naboo is his little brother? Weird genepool, that family!

Yep. Knew the bros thing. Noel looks remarkably like the devil, but has the mind of a small boy who has been mainlining smarties. And I love him for it. Julian is incredibly funny too, but Noel just makes me go 'aw,ya mental monkey'

camel Please step away from JackSparrow - I called him first, I've had my grubby little paws on him for yearrrrs!

iggypiggy What with your dad being a sexdoctor and all - has he been able to give you any baby-making advice which is secret to the profession? I bet those chats are good! My dad said to me "Well, that's a big responsibility for you". I think he forgets he was just a man-child and had 2 kids by the time he was 25.

carrots That sounds hopeful... 5 days early is quite a lot early...

ginhag I've yet to pee on the same stick twice although I have considered it.

So... me and carrots admit to feeling up our foofoo every 10 minutes for "signs" - anyone else?

Symtom #763: This morning jailbait put my nipple in his mouth and I came after about 5 seconds. Now, hats off to any of the rest of you for whom this is normal - but this has never happened to me before. Do I win a baybee?