30s TTC - After all, we're not nice 'down there' at the BESH of times...

[CUNextTuesday]

Durr, VAG, of course I packed the Desperate Romantics lads. They're just here in this crate... oh. Does, um, anyone have any water and saline solution? I forgot to feed them. Well, I likes my men skinny. More for me (although less of each)

House is sulking in the cellar. Tried to escape but I took away his stick

BTW, Cunty, my brother's birthday is at the start of July and he's never suffered at school. And he was the biggest in his year and the most insanely popular person ever. Whereas Runty McWeirdosons here was born near the start of the school year and had no such luck

And as a practically-Hallowe'en baby, everyone forgets your birthday cos it's in half term but then they come round your house trick or taking the piss treating and expecting sweets! Cheek of it.

It's not true that we Scorpios bear grudges

Cameltoe are you fucking accusing me of not cunting swearing, you motherfucking bastard? Bollocks.

Am in the twilight zone (do-do, do-do) of TTC: CD8 so nowt happening and am enjoying the calm before the storm. And not worrying myself about crap like eating soft goat's cheese and the powerplate at the gym, etc.

gin I did like them lots - v witty and erudite. Would point out however that Paperchase in Kingston do not have any suitable for birthdays (i.e. none in their birthday section at all) so I was unable to buy one for my friend's birthday, which I was keen to do. WHSmith do the birthday ones so not sure why Paperchase don't

we already asked my brother if he could field any really basic complicated maths questions back when I was pg with mani. We both bit shit at maths. My brother, now he is gifted (and quite quite mad )

cunty they have some with birthday-y quotes on but just bung them all together with the non birthday-y ones. Except if they are 'big' birthdays like 18 or 21.

I'm finally getting them to do some swapsies so they should have some new stuff in new year. Although they've taken new ranges from us it's been aaaages since they refreshed that range.

God sorry,boring myself now, have probably knocked you out!

No well now you see that's the thing about birthday's is that they come round every year so I'm always looking for new inspiration

An extra large gin please bill... And can I has a go on fight club brad?

gin I was doing quite well until about 11am today... The trouble is... Am on verge of droid and I'm not sure is poss to not go menkul

Can I just say

BUMSEX

Is that where am going wrong you think?

He's all yours friggy. I want him back mind,don't break him.

Here,finish the rest of VAG's gin too,I don't think she can drink much while in a coma.

I bought a teeny weeny bottle of pink fizzy at m n s when at paddington today as it is hard to be miserable when drinking pink fizzy stuff in a posh glass.

It looks very pretty.

Can we transport the palace to a tropical island somewhere for a bit? I could use some sunshine and y'know,frolicking in the surf n that.

Awight BESHbabes?

Firstly, a huge hurrah to the hawaiiancunt for the frosties (has mental image of being implanted with cereal)!

I thought there was driod arrival today, but just a bit of pink when wiped and nothing since. So now I is torturing self with possiblities of totally wrong ov dates, and implantation bleeds. No doubt droid will properly arrive tomorrow though.

Am currently avoiding telly as TGO is watching a thing about Munchausens by Proxy and I am weeping at thought of evil bitches harming children when we are all here angsting.

officially shitting it now cause I just got two lines. I hope the C3PO sticks are not just taking the piss.

Casper - you mean you just got a positive??!! Woooohhooooooo!!!

That's got me out of my morning pit of despair. FANTASTIC NEWS!!

ginhag Shit onna stick sistah - what are you playing at? Your fb profile is so totally fucked that I can't invite you to the secret place, neither can I email you via facebook... wot 'ave you donez?

Scorps You eat the powerplate at the gym? That explains some things...

Cosmosis huh? I thought you were droided on Saturday - does this mean there's still a glimmer of hope in your withered uterus? As for inappropriate weeping, I watched Girl, interrupted yesterday because I was "working from home" and I wailed when Daisy hanged herself. That's normal though isn't it?

I have felt the pitter-patter of wombles on my common however I do not know whether this is imminent droid or butter-dish related.

Advice corner: Turns out jailbait's little sister got dragged out in the street yesterday and got a beating from her boyfriend. Transpires it's not the first time either. Jailbait wants to get over there and "teach him a lesson". I myself was in a Women's Aid shelter when I was 21 and always thought I knew the right thing to say/do to someone who was in this situation - however, I fundamentally feel that her life is "shit" right now and that for her life to change she needs to take steps to change, e.g., throw this dickwad out for one! If he(jailbait) batters/phones this boy - guess who's going to get a back-hander? WWYD?

Casper Fuck, I missed that - you got a POSITIVE??? You have wombles on your common? You've dropped the butter dish*?

Caspar!!!!! that's great! Wooooooo!

ski that may be old profile? Have mailed you.

I feel like shit.

Thanks BESHies. trying to get GP appointment today because this rash is getting worse and this morning I googled it in relation to PG and it fits the description of Papular Dermatitis of Pregnancy, which is linked to increased foetal death rates. The rash started a week ago, which would probably coincide with implantation. Proper scared now.

BTW, was faint to the extent of almost imaginary line on ebay cheapie and faint but defo there on Superdrug.

Will update later

Casper OK, just to give a more positive thought for the rash - google yourself "oestrogen rash"... I've read, perhaps even on this site, about a woman who went to the doctor with a rash and the doc ran a pg test because it looked like an oestrogen rush relating to pg - and not something bad.

I've got a feeling this thread is going to be a good one for the BESHs!

thanks ski that sounds more acceptable. I'm just so itchy and painful I want to cry...

Well that's a positive start to your pregnancy Casper! Complaining already and you've only had your BFP 2 hours!

to be honest, I was complaining before I got the result. been awake half the night scratching and now I am covered in sores. I hope this does not last the whole 40 weeks!

I'm not ungrateful, it just hasn't sunk in. i'm 50 per cent overjoyed and 50 per cent shitting myself. SFF is, of course, totally laid back.

Personally I think that's normal. You're probably supposed to pee on a stick rather than lick it in the hope you'll be sitting down already to perform the action. You're going to have a BAYBEeeeeeeee (a real one, not a dog in a pink diamante-studded coat) - and your life will never be the same. It's times like these you'd want to reach for a cocktail and a fag!

If you want to wind SFF up of course, you might enlighten him with the fact that when the time comes you won't be able to reach your own haemorroids to rub the cream in...

Woo hoo! Congrats, Casper! Am totally thrilled for you.

Caspar the funny old thing with pg and making small people and all that is that you can feel such utterly conflicting things at exactly the same time.

I mean,this morning I'm sitting here feeling truly rubbish,sore throat,head,aching everywhere,snotty etc etc. And mani hasn't been letting me get any sleep. So I am wondering why on earth I think I can cope with another child. Simultaneously, I am sobbing inside as I have convinced myself am not diffed this cycle and I want to be so much.

So a mixed bag of emotions is normal. Or possibly I am mental.

Good you seeing doc, sounds like ski's diagnosis more common than yours so let's hope she's right. She is a clever lady so she probably is.

Just out of interest did you manage to wait til droid late??

So as not to take away from the happy - Ski, have put some stuff in t'other place re: jailbait's sister.

YAY for ghostycurly - that has made my morning! Will have a celebratory absinthe for you. congrats on dropping that butter dish - defaeting the metal bastard etc etc