Feisty & Fabulous at 40+ more adventures of TTC

[gonepearshaped]

Actually now I feel guilty using up the last post of the thread - hope this will do as a continuation

OG tetley I'm so sorry for you How goddam awful.

Take care of yourself.

gumblossom I think we should read these things just the once, then never again.

NOTE he was talking about IVF with the 5%. I don't know what your situation is, but clearly at the IVF stage an issue has already been identified.

BUT I'm sure I read (the once) that the normal, non-IVF chances for someone my age (42) were 5% per month - so THE SAME.

NOTE the chances for a twenty-something are 20% per month. So a lot more, but not the sort of percentages that we 40-somethings could imagine.

Sorry if you already knew this but I just thought it was worth re-iterating... for me, too.

Hi Tetley, sorry to see you here again under such circumstances - lots of s coming your way and hugs.

Mabh, that puts things into their proper perspective - it might take us more 'bangs per buck' to get pg but it sure is worth the wait. And statistics are just that, for ms average - and none of us are exactly 'average' are we?!!!!

tetley I'm so sorry to hear about the MC. How are you feeling, angry, sad, can't believe it????? It sounds like you had no warning either. Will you try again? I just don't know what to say to you. As soon as I saw your post I said, "Oh God not Tetley!" Like I bloody knew you personally - that's the nature of this thread I guess.

I'm drinking grape juice out of a wine glass (day 14 and all that) so will raise my glass and say a toast to your little bean. Big hugs from hippy.

Went for my scan today and he said that my uterus looked a bit tired !!!! He said that the lining looked good and there were no cysts or fybroids. He showed me both ovaries and there was a big follicle on the right and some small on the left. (My reflexologist predicted an egg out of the right when she felt my feet on weds - oooh spooky).

I said to the man today is my uterus too old and tired for me to be ttc and he said no it just looks a bit used and old (poor old thing!!).

He said, "Your firing from both cylinders, so go for it." He seems to think the short cycle is nothing major to worry about. His last comment was see you when your pregnant then - ahh if only life were that simple.

Tetley, I am so sorry to hear of your loss.You must be feeling very sad...I wish we could have had you back under different circumstances, but it is nice to have you back.

I should know better than to freak out over statistics! They really don't tell the whole story.

After reading that I did some googling and found this lovely story about a woman finding herself pregnant at 47.pregnancyover44y.blogspot.com/2009/10/im-having-baby-at-47.html

It is really heartening.

Tetley I'm really very sorry. It is lovely to have you back but I wish for your sake you weren't.

gumblossom re the preseed, yes, I could foresee traction - or lack of it - as also a concern. Lol!! Will take your advice and use less than recommended amount. Then force my DP to wear industrial ear defenders in case of fanny flatulence!

mabh hey, what's wrong with quickies??!!! Apart from lying on the living room floor for ages, obviously. I love them!

hippychick tired uterus aside, that all sounds very encouraging and positive!! We all function when we're tired, don't we, so why shouldn't your tired old uterus?

I was set to start using the preseed this week and instead started AF (or anovulatory bleed maybe?) on CD 14! Good job I had booked for reflexology - really cheered me up - thanks hippy. Reflexologist said recent long flights had probably screwed up cycle and also I need to leave my body more time to settle since IUS removal. She said I definitely ovulate from both sides (eggs might be far from farm fresh, of course)- one side was a bit sluggish but responded well to treatment - hoorah! The only slight negative she found was my thyroid (!!) which isn't working quite properly. Other than that I'm really healthy. Now I'm getting a cold ...

Oh and the refloxologist said not only to cut out caffeine and alcohol but also anything sugary - cakes, biscuits, sweets - as it is important to keep blood sugars on an even keel. DP said "aren't you allowed to live?!!"

Sorry. I'm not good at concise.

Oh, Tetley . Really sorry to hear your news. x

Tetley, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It's hard to know what to say, but I think you are the kind of person who will get through this and go on to success.
Take it easy and take time to grieve, then lots of pampering for you and your DH.
We are all here for you!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{huuuuge hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Tetley must add my heartfelt sympathy - poor you, thinking of you, just look after yourself big time and treat yourself lots xx

Just when I thought thuings were looking good...AF GOT ME so have spent last 24 hours with hideous menstrual migraine, didn't go to friends party last night because there would have been 4 preg ladies and 2 with young ones - am starting to feel very left out. Enough self pity, for those of you who remember the Fast Show: 'This Month I Will Be Mostly..POAS to find out when I ovulate, utilising slimy stuff to help the swimmers, and BDing in between festive party going.'
Was going to make lots of cakes also but having read Frosticle's reflexologists advice that may not be a good thing....!!
Hugs again to Tetley

Thanks for lovely messages all

Really appreciate them.

I officially hate OPK Sticks. I was told by the very nice man at the scan on Friday that I had one large follicle and several small. He said he expected me to Ov in the next couple of days.

So did I take that news and decide that was good enough for me - did I f...

No, i still insisted on peeing on a stick twice a day since then and yet again I am getting no go ahead. I am trying to ignore the sticks cos all the evidence (cm, scan proof and boob tingling) suggests that I am about to ovulate and yet because I'm not getting a + on the sticks I feel worried and stressed. I switched back from cheapies to those damn expensive digital ones as well!

I am BDing every 3 days (only in the two important weeks - I'm not that good!) So I really don't need to even think about poas - and yet I can't flippin' stop. [really annoyed with my own weak will and stupidity face].

Present for Tetley - have it with a cuppa. xxx

Hippy, we're all our own worst enemies. Just keep up that bd!

Thanks Kiwi, I know what you mean. At the end of the day it's the BDing that gets you preg not the stick.

I should have more faith and just be grateful that I appear to be Oving and stop lurking around in the bathroom staring at a stick.

God, I really hope I look back on this time in the future, with a little one in my arms and say, "You were worth all the bother little one!"

We haven't had any baby dust for a while so i am sprinkling loads over you all * - that's the dust by the way - I didn't fall on the caps lock and the 8 !! Ha Ha.

If it is any consolation, Hippy, I got pregnant with my LO when I didn't get a positive opk that month. I wonder if we just miss it? Maybe there's just a little window of time that we can get the positive? I don't know, but it sounds like your body is doing the right thing and ovulating, so just keep up the bding and rest assured you gave it your best shot!

Thanks for the baby dust...I need all the help I can get. Only 2 more weeks and Mia's spell will be up.I have a feeling it isn't going to work! Bugger.

Hi Tetley just quickly popping by to give you a virtual hug, I'm no good with sympathy but I do know what it feels like to mc you are not alone at all. If there is a small light to hold on to they do say in the 3 months afterwards one should be more fertile -not sure if I'm helping or making things worse, anyway do take it easy.

Hello everyone else, lying low at the mo as am having some heavy thinks - I don't like winter at all. Baby arrived next door too.

woodelf absolutely not, we are not statistics. Just to get annoyingly geeky statistics represent populations, never individuals. And whilst we're at it, averages are not the same a typical. A class full of us might end up with something near the stats, but individuals almost certainly won't.

Funny how those old research chestnuts have loomed large in my mind over the last four months...

Frosticle sounds like you have a sub-clinical slow thyroid like me. I think it has to be screaming before it's diagnosed. There are recommendations around for naturally upping it a bit, but docs normally say they're rubbish. The only one I do is if I start to get cold and tired I get up and jump about a bit - sounds crazy but it gives the metabolism a bit of a boost.

As for quickies... well I guess all I can say is I must have a romantic temperament... and a DH with testosterone overload. I love him, but his peaks can be quite alarming.

Bah, perhaps it's just me.

I'll stop boring you all now!

Thanks gumblossom - it is good to know that you got preg with no positive. I really wish i'd never started down this road. I should trust all the stuff my body is telling me.

Summersky sorry to hear you're feling down - winter is crap isn't it.

What is Mia's spell pls??? Think I might have asked that before but it's not just my womb that's old and tired - my brain is too

Oh tetley - so sorry for you. That's so sad. Take really good care of yourself. How are you and your DH doing?

summer I'm ignoring the sugar advice and sending you and tetley lots of s. Hope your thoughts aren't too heavy.

Zita's advice sounds great but I'm another one addicted to my monitor. All the preseed comments did make me laugh - rowing you have give me something to aim for! Just to second others, the recommended dose is a bit too much but it does help with the TTC quickies!

Turned 41 at the weekend which involved the inevitable am I too old introspection. Decided to ignore it and go with the "what we be, will be" philosophy. Even had some rebellious wine as it was my birthday but now worrying that I shouldn't have. Oh heck.

Hi hippy, summer and fls and thanks for thinking of me. Feeling a bit glum today as went back to hospital for final check and blood test to see how much hcg or hgc or whatever it is is still in my system Now realise having a mc attracts all those who seemed to leave me alone when i was secretly pregnant. I cannot count the number of times i've been told this week i should be getting on with having the 2nd! Grrr.

Tetley how awful for you. People just don't think about what they're saying I guess.

I suppose the hosp couldn't tell you why you MC'd - just wasn't right somewhere I imagine.

I would send you another gift but there's only biscuits and I don't want you blaming me for you getting fat.

Can't remember your financial situation but can you afford some reflexology or a spa day or something - you need a bit of r&r.

xxx

Hi everyone,
sorry been a bit absent. Can't really get on with this new layout MN, just get all mixed up about which post is first and so on. Grr!

Tetley big hugs. Hope you are coping OK. What is it with untimel and inappropriate comments, all arriving when you least need them. Could you stick your fingers in your ears, or would that be a bit obvious? The three month thing I have read as well, something to do with the growth hormone levels being high. Do you think you could jump right back on the wagon without pausing for breath?
Whatever you decide, rent some films and have a facial and treat yourself to some 'me' time. Send your DH a hug as well, tis hard for those chaps.

Hippy the OPK curse, but if all the other signs are there... Are you doing the cervical position one, that's a hoot!

Mabh that's sweet you don't mind quickies. Is your DH a bit of a testosterone monster? Lock yourself in the bathroom, that's my advice, oh no you can't you're TTC. Oh well, put on the Barry White then.

TFLS how is the preseed application going. Are you getting it in the right place. It doesn' work so well on the wall I find.

I have no idea when I OV this month but did get CM so thought, what the hell and we had a bit of a 'go' just in case. Poor eggs are all mixed-up though.
Went to the docs yesterday as it was the last day of the anti-bs and he said he wouldn't give me anymore as I seemed to be improving. Did give me stronger nasal spray and I'm still doing my neti pot type of thing so not feeling too bad. Must catch up on the 500 hours of sleep I lost when I was feeling very dicky.
Oo oo! I have a very good thought I wish to share.
OK so what's very excellent in the way of TTC over 40!
Well, I'll tell you. When you are a bit doddery and false teeth, your children won't be pushing your wheel chair as they lean on their zimmer. See if you are ninety your kids will still only be in their late forties or early fifties rather than only slightly less decrepit than you.
So when any smug, 'it's not fair on your children to TTC over 40' or whatever type of people start up, just remind them of how very well cared for you will be in your dotage. Oh and look smug.

Sorry I meant untimely not untime.

rowing - hopefully your last trip to your GP for a while. You must have had the whole winter's supply of bugs up front. Hope the lurgys leave you alone now. Preseed is safely back in the drawer and I'm on the 2ww now. Did manage to squirt it everywhere in my parent's bathroom last week when vistiting. Talk about feeling like a 16 year old again

tetley how are you doing today? That inappropriate timing thing is a real pain isn't it. I m/c in the summer and suddenly, overnight, every character on TV was mysteriously pregnant. Did you get a negative result on the hospital tests? I don't know if you're planning to try again (sorry if that's far too soon to ask), but it's worth getting a negative result so that you know that any future BFP is genuine and not residual hormones. God, it is a horrible business. I guess going back to hospital somehow reinforced the reality of it all, just after you get over the immediate shock. One day at a time....