Feisty & Fabulous at 40+ more adventures of TTC

[gonepearshaped]

Actually now I feel guilty using up the last post of the thread - hope this will do as a continuation

I was away for a few days over half-term and have been on a merry round of interviewing either side of that so this is the first chance I've had in the last fortnight to check how you are all doing. I can't believe how much has happened.

I've tried to scan through the posts but I've probably missed a few things (tbh, I have trouble keeping up at the best of times) so I'm sending big hugs to all who need them.

hippy I felt terribly sad for you reading your news. I'm so sorry.

hopeful I hope your mom is making a good recovery.

gum I don't think you're quite ready to give up yet. I know men who have been adamant they don't want another baby - very reluctant - who are then deliriously happy when it actually happens. Anyway, whichever way it goes, I hope it turns out well for you.

ILGH pssst! Congratulations!

TFLS, so glad to hear all is well.
Frosticle good to hear from you. Interviews for a new job?
You are right, I don't feel ready to give up, but all logic suggests I do!
Every evening, when I am tired I think that I'd be mad to want to do it all again.But when things are good (most of the rest of the time)I thank my lucky stars for all my children, and feel so very lucky to have a baby in my 40's.He's such a delight, how could I not want another?

It's not really a possibility at the moment(due to breastfeeding and no eggs in sight), so I don't need to think about it too much.

Italian,you must be getting closer to starting your IVF? How exciting.

I hope everyone else is well.Rowing,when do you start?

What a relief TFLS! Have been worrying but unable to get on computer till now. Thank goodness it's nothing. These first weeks can be such a rollercoaster can't they?

s all round then

Hi everyone;

I had to look at the roll call again to refresh my memory!

I think a few of you are pregnant but I thought you'd rather update the list yourselves so I haven't changed anything.

TFLS - So glad to hear your scare was just a scare. Are you going for a scan this week?

Hippy - It sounds like you are feeling more positive. I'm glad to see that.

ILGH - Are congratulations in order?

Kiwi - Haven't heard from you for awhile. How's your cycle going?

Frosticle - Thanks for the well wishes regarding my mom. We plan to meet with the neurologist tomorrow to get a better idea of the prognosis. We are still hoping her brain damage is temporary but she doesn't seem to be recovering very well. Not even sure if she had a stroke or not but she can't speak or move much after a week.

Despite all of this going on with my mom, we decided to proceed with the IVF cycle and I started meds today (Ouch!) I feel like a human pincushion. I had my first scan yesterday and, sadly (but not surprisingly), there were only 3 follicles. I need at least 4 mature follicles to proceed to IVF retrieval. Otherwise I get converted to IUI which I've had many times without success--I think my eggs are too tough to fertilize now without ICSI.

I'm hoping for a miracle this Friday with my second scan and the possible emergence of a few follicles which may have been hiding or too small to see yesterday.

Hoping for a miracle with my mom too. Can one person be granted that many miracles in one week?

Hopeful45 Age-45 - TTC#4 -DD(10);DD(6);DS(4) - IVF cycle #1 start in Feb/Mar?-own egg
Jollster Age-41 -8 weeks PG with #2 DS(1.9)
HippyChick Age- 43 -
Frosticle Age 45 - TTC#2 DD (4)
Gumblossom Age 43 - TTC #6 DS(18)DS(16) DD(12)DD(9)DS(1)
Tetleytea Age 42 - TTC#2 DD (3.5)
Rowing Boat Age 43 (nearly wrote 53) TTC#2 going for FET February.
I Love GH Age 40 - TTC#4 DSx3
TheFatLadyScreams Age 41 - ttc #1
KiwiKat Age 44 - TTC#2 DS (3.7) Starting IVF (Cetrodide)
Italiangreyhound Age 44 - TTC#2- DE cycle starting in March - DD(5)
Summersky Age 46
Totally Floaty Age 39 - TTC #4
Spiral Queen Still 46! TTC#2 DD(2)-natural conception
Woodelf still 46 TTC#2 DS(3) - natural conc.
Dechen age 45 TTC#3, DS 12 AID with Clomid), DD 9 (AID without Clomid)
Praggy Age 45 - TTC#1 after 3 m/c (natural conceptions)
Alfiemac Age 43 - TTC#3 DS's (3.8) - ICSI
SilverStuddedBlue 45 - TTC#2 DD (5)
SarahMumtoAlex 44 - TTC#2 DS (3.8) - natural conception after two mc's
AlbaDeTamble 41 - TTC #2 DS (2)

Hoping - must be so hard worrying about you mom at the moment. Will be thinking of you tomorrow and sending subliminal messages for those hiding follicles to make an appearance by Friday.

gum - logic has its place but it's not always right! Could you go for a not actively trying approach and leave it up to fate to decide? Just hope you get some peace of mind whatever you decide - it's so hard when you feel time is taking the decision for you.

More s tetley - great. How are things with you?

Italian - at the hamster!

Have updated the list with my stats. Just hope I don't chop anyone off which is my usual trick - apologies in advance to Alba!

Hopeful45 Age-45 - TTC#4 -DD(10);DD(6);DS(4) - IVF cycle #1 start in Feb/Mar?-own egg
Jollster Age-41 -8 weeks PG with #2 DS(1.9)
HippyChick Age- 43 -
Frosticle Age 45 - TTC#2 DD (4)
Gumblossom Age 43 - TTC #6 DS(18)DS(16) DD(12)DD(9)DS(1)
Tetleytea Age 42 - TTC#2 DD (3.5)
Rowing Boat Age 43 (nearly wrote 53) TTC#2 going for FET February.
I Love GH Age 40 - TTC#4 DSx3
TheFatLadyScreams Age 41 - 9 weeks PG with #1
KiwiKat Age 44 - TTC#2 DS (3.7) Starting IVF (Cetrodide)
Italiangreyhound Age 44 - TTC#2- DE cycle starting in March - DD(5)
Summersky Age 46
Totally Floaty Age 39 - TTC #4
Spiral Queen Still 46! TTC#2 DD(2)-natural conception
Woodelf still 46 TTC#2 DS(3) - natural conc.
Dechen age 45 TTC#3, DS 12 AID with Clomid), DD 9 (AID without Clomid)
Praggy Age 45 - TTC#1 after 3 m/c (natural conceptions)
Alfiemac Age 43 - TTC#3 DS's (3.8) - ICSI
SilverStuddedBlue 45 - TTC#2 DD (5)
SarahMumtoAlex 44 - TTC#2 DS (3.8) - natural conception after two mc's
AlbaDeTamble 41 - TTC #2 DS (2)

Hello everyone. Still on DH's silly laptop with the tiny keyboard - impossible to type on. Still sticking the needles in, thighs in the evening, tummy in the morning. Am getting better at it, but not the best fun in the world. DH being scratchy as well, so just head down and getting on with it. My MD (the nice one, a man) at work is agog to know what my hospital procedure is that I have to take a day off work - EC, but I'm telling NO ONE at work. There's not one single person can keep a secret, so best to keep it to myself. Glad all is well with everyone, Hopeful45, hugs to you.

Hi to all. I'm getting a bit better slowly slowly. Still miss being pregnant and feel so robbed but am ok.

Shooting pains up my bum are getting bad - off to my lovely GP tomorrow. Very worried she is gonna say it's nothing to do with the mc or the precedure I had (EPRC). She might say, "Let's book you in for a quick camera up the bum procedure!" Will report back on that one.

Went to the school for the first time today (DH has been doing the school run for me). Managed to talk to 2 mums without crying - both were really nice.

Both my boys were a bit off today, some stupid boy said to my eldest, "Are you still upset about your mums baby dying - I thought you'd be over it by now!" Really upset my DS. Gave him lots of TLC when he got home.

Work on Monday will be the biggy - gulp!

Good luck to all of you who are about to go through treatment and are sticking yourselves with needles every day - I really really hope it is all worth it in the end.

ILGH - any mathmatical stats for us - hope I didn't offend when i called you a nurd?????
TFLS - 9 weeks now - just take it one day at a time. Think of you often and hope all is well.

Hi all

My age has changed to 45 but I'm not going to change it on the roll call - someone else can if they like - but I kind of like the idea of time going backwards so you could make me 43! Never thought before that 43 would sound young! No, seriously, better be real!

hopeful45 So sorry to hear about your mum. Hope that things will improve. I am not an expert but I don't think miracles are limited so let?s hope for more follicles for Friday, keep us posted.

gumblossom Thanks for asking about treatment. We are spinning our wheels as we wait about 5 or 6 weeks for our donor and the other couple to catch up with us. It's quite weird as I am usually late not early! Quite funny really as last lot of cancelled treatment was due just before Christmas, this is due just before Easter and if it is successful, we would have a baby due just before Christmas! Let?s hope that is a good sign, I?m a Christian but I am not purposely following the Christian festivals!!

Alba You were mentioning wanting a book to read. This choice may (as they say in the USA) have come out of left field but I have got a book about English, which is fascinating. It's called 'My Grammar and I (or should that be 'Me'?) old-school ways to sharpen your english" by Caroline Taggart and J.A. Wines. Michael O'Mara Books Limited. It is pricey, £9.99 as a hardback but I got it as a Birthday present (they may have it in the library). If you like English (I used to be an English Language Teacher so still quite interested in it all) it is informative and funny but it is not a story more like a slightly jokey textbook. Just an idea.

Hippy give lovely DSs a hug from us netmums ladies. Glad school was Ok and all best for work.

Hippy I mean glad school was OK for you, not for your DS because of rude child at school but at least you coped OK and I am sure DS enjoyed your TLC.

Where are all the fab 40's. Have you all gone on a coach trip and forgotten me ???

Seriously though, odd that no one has posted since italain last night.

I went to docs today about the shooting pains up the front and back passage, here is my report:-

GP thinks shooting pains are to do with old endometriosis scaring. I had endo near to my pouch of douglas which is near to the backpassage. She thinks thay just rooted around a bit too much when they did the EPRC and disturbed stuff. She took a swab to check for infection but doesn't think I have one.

She was once again very encouraging and kept saying that she really thinks this was just due to the embryo not being right. She said i got pregnant quickly for my age (5 months/7 short cycles) and was positive I'd soon be pregnant again.

I wish she could give me a written guarantee. She is so lovely though and spent ages talking to me about how I was coping, how my kids were dealing with the loss etc.

I love my GP but not in a lesbian kind of way of course - that would really complicate everything with DH and ttc -

Hi hippychick I'm here Glad to hear that they have some idea of what's causing the pain, and that it doesn't seem too serious. Doctors and Nurses said the same thing to me after my last mc, 'if you're falling quickly (which 5 months counts as to them) then your fertility is probably fine.

MC is so very common in women of all ages (even teenagers) but since it isn't talked about you can feel there must be something wrong with me (and we all know that what's wrong with us is that we're over 40 )

hope your pains settle down and you can get through the rest of this cycle

gumblossom yep, job interviews. Been offered two (lucky me!) full-time jobs and have just accepted one this morning. They are both great jobs - just hope I've chosen the right one. Got myself very upset earlier this week (I mean actual tears) at the prospect of my DD being taken to school and collected by someone other than me but I think I've got a grip of myself on that one now. I will still be able to do it sometimes as my new employer is big on flexibility.

Italian happy belated birthday!! What did you do to celebrate? 45 will sound young in another 2 years time so make the most of your youth.

hopeful I'm with Italian - I don't think miracles are limited either and two is not an unreasonable request. Fingers crossed for you on both counts.

hippy hey, all mega encouraging news from your GP! I think you've coped really well - you sound so much more positive already.

Frosticle Congratulations on the job. I went out for Thai food, my passion, both with my dh and with my mates. Seeing my lovely sis too soon for belated birthday gifts!

Hippy glad you are more positive, it is the way to go, I think.

Have you guys been watching One born every minute, or is that insensitive e to ask. I have been moaning on the assisted conception thread so will not continue here but it is really quite off putting from the dh/dp stand point! I mean the men are all a bit useless! But I'm sure none of our DH/DPs are like that!

Hi all,
TFLS hope all is well and you are having a more relaxing time.

Italian the wait sounds frustrating, do you have regular reports from your clinic?

Frosticle well done on the jobs. I do really feel for you about your DD, but I'm sure she will be fine, as long as you haven't enlisted the services of the local tramp/drunk to drop her off at school.

Hippy your poor DS, he's a little sweetie I can tell. Your GP does sound gorgeous, you are probably in need of gorgeousness in your hormonal state.

I'm sorry sorry if I miss you out anyone, but must go to bed, just a quickie really. I'm off for a scan tomorrow to start the FET process. So not looking forward to it, not very organised and not very positive. Oh well, let's see how this goes...
Off for the funeral on Saturday, so won't be back on until next week, but I will post after the scan.
What horrible weather!

Good luck for tomorrow rowing. We're rooting for you.

hippy, good to hear you sounding in control

frosticle that's brilliant about the new job.

I'm probably going to have a break from posting for a while, though will definitely be lurking and keeping up with the news. Feeling a bit resigned at the moment, sure I'm not going to have any nice surprises at the end of this cycle and I'm going to avoid ttc ing next month because incredibly and ridiculously at the age of 42 and 3/4 I still agree with my 8 year old self and really don't want a december baby . Can't quite believe it, in my desperation, but there you go We've just bought a house (first time!) and have to do a bit of work before we move in. I'm sure it'll do me good to focus on something other than me ovaries! Love to all

Good luck rowing Is this little barry's turn or was he one of the previous emmbies???

tetley you never know, as soon as you take your eye of the ball (so to speak) that might be when it happens!!!!

I'm feeling a lot better. Still have wobbly moments and still feel like it's not fair but I am getting used to NOT being preg (even wondering now if I dreamed the whole thing.)

I do feel but who can I be angry at - not the poor little feotus's fault and not mine. So will try not to be angry and just focus on the next one - please God!

Hope the break works well for you tetley I wish I could relax enough to take a break, sounds sensible.

Well one on the job frosticle its rare to hear such a happy result these days

I'm really impressed about how well you're doing hippy its up and down but as you say, eyes on the prize and you'll be fine.

Someone stole my bike last night from my front garden and its really thrown me. DH was going out, so I left it for him to put away when he got his out - stupid stupid stupid. I bought a new (to me) one this morning because we don't have a car, the bike is my vehicle. Anyway I was so exhausted early afternoon that i had to leave work. Since the last time I had to do that i was pregnant - I POAS when I got home (despite being CD 11 ) Ah well, not really too thrown when I saw not pregnant but just goes to show howstupid thrown you (I) can be

rowingboat Hi, how did it go today?

Yes the clinci calls about once a week to just report on what is happening. last time we did not have this long wait so it is quite new. Its Ok I just thouhgt I would be more motivated to lose weight and get in shape.

Tetleytea enjoy your rest.

Sarahmumtoalex Sorry to hear about your bike, is it covered under your hime insurance? Very annoying for you. I got my purse stollen on the underground once and it really p*ssed me off but I had to just accept it as it was long gone! Hope you get a new one soon.
Hippy sounding better.

Hi everyone,
you are a lovely bunch being so supportive. Thank you!!
It was OK, the scan revealed two large cysts, the biggest was 4.8 cm, so not big enough to be very noticable to me, but enough to cause them concern.
They want me back in on cd10 to drain the cysts, which will involve a general anaesthetic. So much for a natural cycle with no complications. Grrr!
Other than that the cycle is going ahead, so we shall see. Starting to feel a teeny bit more involved now I have had bloods and a scan.
My BP was 122 over 77, which is the lowest it has ever been in an IVF clinic. It was hilariously high when I went for the second cycle. I'm surprised they didn't send me for a triple bypass.
I have asked about all three embies being returned if they defrost and am awaiting an answer on that. The defrost survival rate there is only arounf 50% so it could just be the one going back.
Tetley that is funny you remembering Barry. I think they were fluffy, Barry and Foo-foo or something, will check my old posts. I do know what you mean about the December thing. It is on my mind as well, but I can't really do much about it so just have to put that to the back of my mind.
It is true though, you do hear about people taking time off and bang - PG!
Italian it must be quite rivetting to have weekly updates, like a very exciting soap opera.
MTA that is such a pain about your bike. Don't be too cross, it's a bit much to not be able to leave your bike for a short time like that. I hope it turns up, it couldn't just be kids could it?
DS had a scooter nicked and returned 48 hours later. It just turned-up in the garden, looking a bit the worse for wear. I could just imagine some mum somewhere saying 'Where did you get that? Take it back now!'
So off down South tomorrow and back on Tuesday so will be a bit incommunicado, but will be back soon. Can't wait to hear the news!

Hi all
popping to to update details.
Turned 42 on Tuesday - boo.
Learned I have had a MMC yesterday, should have been 11 weeks, baby stopped growing at 9 weeks.
Waiting for an ERPC, and will start thinking about TTC again once I feel ready.

Have been reading if not posting, so sending you all best wishes, and will keep popping in.

Cheers for now.

Hopeful45 Age-45 - TTC#4 -DD(10);DD(6);DS(4) - IVF cycle #1 start in Feb/Mar?-own egg
Jollster Age-42 - DS(1yr9mo), MMC 24/08/09 MMC 26/02/10. WTTC#2.
HippyChick Age- 43 -
Frosticle Age 45 - TTC#2 DD (4)
Gumblossom Age 43 - TTC #6 DS(18)DS(16) DD(12)DD(9)DS(1)
Tetleytea Age 42 - TTC#2 DD (3.5)
Rowing Boat Age 43 (nearly wrote 53) TTC#2 going for FET February.
I Love GH Age 40 - TTC#4 DSx3
TheFatLadyScreams Age 41 - 9 weeks PG with #1
KiwiKat Age 44 - TTC#2 DS (3.7) Starting IVF (Cetrodide)
Italiangreyhound Age 44 - TTC#2- DE cycle starting in March - DD(5)
Summersky Age 46
Totally Floaty Age 39 - TTC #4
Spiral Queen Still 46! TTC#2 DD(2)-natural conception
Woodelf still 46 TTC#2 DS(3) - natural conc.
Dechen age 45 TTC#3, DS 12 AID with Clomid), DD 9 (AID without Clomid)
Praggy Age 45 - TTC#1 after 3 m/c (natural conceptions)
Alfiemac Age 43 - TTC#3 DS's (3.8) - ICSI
SilverStuddedBlue 45 - TTC#2 DD (5)
SarahMumtoAlex 44 - TTC#2 DS (3.8) - natural conception after two mc's
AlbaDeTamble 41 - TTC #2 DS (2)

Jollster I'm so sorry to hear of your loss So unfair, especially twice in a row. Pardon my ignorance but what's an ERPC?

Rowing Glad to hear your procedure is going ahead still despite cysts. That's great to have 3 frozen embryos. I have friends that have had great luck with the frozen ones.

Frosticle Congratulations on the new job! What field are you in? Yes, it's hard to leave children at home. But great to come home to "Mommy, your home!!!" (which you don't get as a Stay at Home Mom) Sounds like you may be able to take quite a few days off here and there which will help.

KiwiKat How are your follicles doing?

I went for my second ultrasound today (after 4 days of stimming) and still only 3 follicles. One is very small still (3mm) and may not progress. I have until Monday to try to get 4 follicles that are growing well in order to proceed to IVF. Unlikely, but not unheard of--so I'm off to bed to rest up and think, "follicles, follicles, follicles"!

jollster really sorry to hear your news you sounded so calm on your posting but it's really tough. hope you're ok - at much as you can be.

hopeful it's the romantically labelled Evacuation of Retained Products of Conception, similar to/or new name of a D&C? Basically the surgical option of dealing with a Missed MC... you can wait for nature to take its course, go for "medical management" i.e. take pills, or go for surgery.
Chose ERPC last time as baby was 12 weeks, therefore quite big. Also just wanted/needed to move on.

Found it absolutely fine - quick recovery and best option for me and my situation.
PS follicles follicles FOLLICLES

tetley - I am quite calm at the mo. Am just waiting to get the op done (small chance they might squeeze me in tomorrow, otherwise March 9th) then I will start the grief regret anger cycle! One of my closest friends has left today to go home to OZ after 15 years. I'm going to miss him so much - it's like a double grief

Just popped on to say how sorry I am jollster. As you probably know, I had the same thing happen recently and I am so upset for you that it's happened again. I think you are amazing to deal with it so well.

I saw you on the MC thread (gosh tht one is busy isn't it?) and you seemed so together and ok. I hope they can fit you in asap for the EPRC - I know from my experience that I wanted to get that bit over with and couldn't think of anything else until that was done.

I hope you have loads of support and love around you and I really am so sorry you are experiencing this.((((())))))

jollster - so sorry to hear your news. I hope your birthday was happy, before you found this out.

hippy - was sad to hear your ds had to deal with such an insensitive question - I hope you're all doing ok.

rowing - sending hugs, hope today was bearable.

Italian - hope you had a lovely birthday.

Sarah - am shocked that someone would pinch your bike from your own property, it's a rotten feeling losing something that way. Your faith in human nature goes down a notch.

Tetley - hope the break does you good, and you come back here either all fired up to get back on the ttc roller coaster, or possibly even pregnant!

Frosticle - splendid news about your job!

hopeful - sorry to hear that your follicles aren't responding as enthusiastically as they should. Mine are behaving the same way - I have 1 x 13 mm, 2 x under 10 mm on the right, and 1 x 13 mm, 1 x under 10 on the left, and not only are they small and there are not many of them, the ones on the left are hiding under my womb or some such. So I'm having another scan on Monday, and - assuming I have anything to harvest at all - possibly going for EC on Wednesday, with a remote possibility of doing it on Friday instead. I'll have been on the drugs for 14 days by then, so maximum length of time they like, I think. Am pretty deflated by the whole thing, I must admit, but am trying to think positive, as that seems to be so much part of it.

Hello to everyone else, sending chocolatey hugs to you all.