Feisty & Fabulous at 40+ more adventures of TTC

[gonepearshaped]

Actually now I feel guilty using up the last post of the thread - hope this will do as a continuation

tfls thinking of you and sending you lots of love. Can totally understand why you are scared despite all the anecdotal examples that all can be fine. Keep us posted when you are able x

TFLS I am thinking of you and am sending lots of good vines your way )

thefatladyscreams Thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way, will shoot up an arrow prayer too. Try not to worry, almost impossible I am sure, but try and be calm.

TFLS poor you having to feel so horrible. Please take heed, it is very common. I had bleeding in the second semester and went to hospital - it was absolutely fine.
Get some attention though, it will help I'm sure to hear that you are OK from somebody medical.
I wish I could do something to help. Please stay strong, you are a strong woman, you will be fine!!

I'm feeling a bit uurgh for a crap reason. One of the women who was a kind of cycle buddy for me during the last treatment cycle has just had a bfp, and so far it looks like twins. Not that I want twins, but it would be nice/madness to have twins. Not that I can afford/have space for twins. I would be terrified of complications with twins. [head falls off - bonk!]
For some reason I am taking her success as a harbinger of doom for my FET. What is that about!!! Definitely feeling PMSy.
Having written that I can see that I am just envious of her success, I wish it could be that easy for me this time.
Hopeful Heron was the person who started this thread, she was lovely, very positive and extremely fertile got had a cp after cycle 2 and pg cycle 3, but she did stay and cheer us stragglers on. I wish I could remember her exact age.
Cece, I think was 42? I think she had a mc and went on to a successful pg, so hope that cheers you Hippy.
My friend's neighbour had a child at 45. New partner, they had a child each and then a surprise pg, so hope that helps.

TFLS, I also had bleeding with two of my pregnancies, and both went well, both are healthy boys, one is 18, the other is 18months!
With my first pregnancy I had a bleed around 6 weeks, didn't even know I was pregnant.Went to the docs at 7 weeks to see what was making me feel so tired and sick. Sure enough I was preg, and I wouldn't believe him because I'd had my "period" a week before.The blood test confirmed it!
Can you get an ultrasound asap to help ease your mind?
Sending hugs, I know how scary it is.With my last baby I had spotting around ten weeks and thought it was all over, but it was just one of those unexplained things and it all turned out fine.I was 41 at the time.
Rowing your feelings are totally normal and acceptable under the circumstances.I hope it is as easy for you this time. Be nice to yourself, it is a stressful time.Do whatever you can to try and relax.
TFLS how did the acupuncture go?
Nothing to report here.Having a lovely lie in with computer and cup of tea.Everyone else is watching LO, so I can just relax...Bliss...

TFLS, how are you? Have been thinking of you today..

TFLS Thinking of you. Hope to hear from you tomorrow.

Feeling a bit better today. Shooting pains up the nether regions are much better.

Am getting used to waking up and not having tender boobs and nausea - but would trade back any time ! Hope my boobs are soon feeling like that again.

Love to all. ILGH How are you doing?
xx

rowingboat Sorry to hear that you feel envious of friend I totally understand that feeling. A friend recently announced her pregnancy and I felt bad and sad all day. Then I felt fine, and took it as a positive sign, so although it is hard please don't see it as a sign that yours will not work. I also totally understand your feelings about twins; I have no space or time for twins but curiously feel a bit jealous when others are having them! No worries, I think you will feel better soon and whatever happens with your friend it is unconnected to your chances so it won't affect you. Just try to stay positive. I second Gumblossom be nice to yourself, maybe a nice bubble bath or massage to take your mind off it.

Hippy Glad you are feeling better.

This morning has reminded me of everything I hate about my job... Was holding out till mat leave from July. Not sure I can grin and bear it till the end of the year, at the earliest, but it's a nightmare trying to change jobs whilst TTC. Have any of you ever done it? I suppose I'm also scared that work stress will make it harder to fall pg too... Out at a cafe trying to control my tears before going back in for the afternoon.

Hope you're feeling better Hippy, and still crossing fingers for you TFLS, hoping you're ok

You guys are absolutely fantastic. Thanks for all the lovely messages of support. Sorry for not posting earlier - I woke up feeling really guilty.

Basically the spotting stopped Saturday. But Sunday all my symptoms disappeared and I had about 5 minutes of really painful cramps so DH and I were gearing up for the worst. But when I got up to make dinner - wham the ms was back . And felt quite sick this morning - never thought I'd be so pleased to feel sick.

Sorry for loosing the plot so completely but I was so convinced over the weekend that I had lost the baby - now feeling like a complete fraud .

Contacted my midwife this morning as the doctor had suggested I get an early scan at 10 weeks. But was told no - you can only have an early scan if you have a previous etopic history or more than 3 m/cs.
Debating getting a private one but a large part of me is saying just wait and see.

Will try harder to not be such a panicing wuss!

Alba - sorry you're having a lousy day at work. I remember DH reading some great story about stones, pebbles and sand. The stones are the important things that really matter to you (loved ones etc) - the pebbles and sand are all the other stuff like jobs, money etc that swirl around and kick up a load of noise but ultimately don't count. Everytime we have a bad time now, we keep chanting it's just the pebbles! Sorry probably a bit trite but just wanted to try and cheer you up.

Rowing - the fact that it's a cycle buddy must be so poignant for you. I'm guessing you've been kindred spirits up til now so it must feel weird. Hope you're feeling a bit better now. PMS could be a good thing - means your hormones are all working correctly! Guess who is trying to be glass half full today!!

Once again thanks for all the the support.

Well,thank God for that TFLS, saw you posted and jumped straight on to check.

I wouldn't be able to resist getting a private scan - I was refused one on the NHS when I had spotting with DS3 so phoned up Harley Street and got one. It was £120 but money well spent. They were so lovely I went back for the nuchal fold and 20 week anomaly scan. So it ended up costing a fortune. Just as well I went there for the anomaly though cos DS3 had a soft marker and the time and care they took over the scan was fab. Not that I wouldn't have got it on the NHS of course.

I had my second beta come back at 364.9 (I had to double check and called the doc back) so it had more than quadrupled in 63 hours (see what a geek I am?). Am feeling quite positive but am getting a flight back to UK tomorrow so am hoping that'll be okay. I think the positiveness of the trip will outweigh any theoretical risk though.

Anyhoo, TFLS, hope it all continues on a good path for you.

And I know just how you feel Alba. But if you change jobs now, it may effect your maternity benefits if the timing turns out "awkward". I'm sure that's the least of your worries, though.

TFLS phew! Good to hear good news. Do you think it might be twins ILGH, I'm sure I read they give you quicker hormone increases?

I'm going to chant pebbles whenever it gets to me and grin and bear it... Thanks

thefatladyscreams Great news. I am so pleased.

I heard the story as what can you fit in the glass - stones, pebbles, sand and beer! If you start with the sand there is no room for anything else! So you start with the stones (the most important) then the pebbles (less so) and then sand (the drossy bits) and you then pour the beer in. The 'moral' is put the most important things in first.... and there is always room for a beer!

AlbaDeTamble I know how you feel. I ended up in a job I hated trying to conceive and in the end I jacked it in before treatment, then the treatment failed! I got another job I liked a whole lot more. I think it depends how supportive DH is and how financially stable you are. It is scary to do but if you want to change, I would look into it now and not wait until you are pregnant. I would not necessarily leave until you find something suitable to go to but I would certainly look and access the situation. It does depend on maternity leave etc but my understanding is you may be eligible for something from the government BUT do please check it all out before doing anything. All the best to you.

Twins!!!! Head falls off - bonk (a la Rowing)

tfls BIG phew from me. You had me worried when you went quiet.
ILGH..... twins!!! My personal secret hope/fear! How amazing and terrifying it must be! You never know.... keep us posted - hope trip goes well.
Hope all well - sorry job pants Alba

Big cheer for TFLS.

I'm so glad to hear that the spotting has stopped. This early stage is so scary even if you haven't had problems before. God knows what I'll be like if I'm lucky enough to get preg again.

I don't see why they couldn't have given you an early scan if you were scare though. Surely if you've had a MC before they must understand that you're gonna be worried.

Still seems like it was just a bit of harmless spotting. When is the first scan? How are you today?

ILGH All sounds good. I imagine you to be a right little nurd doing your maths - meant in an affectionate way of course

Alba 10 years ago, I was in a job that was very stressful and I had a horrid boss, I changed jobs and got preg about 3 months after I started there - I always say that i would never have got preg at the first job cos of the stress. It worked out ok for me. I guess it depends if you think you are able to fall preg fairly quickly and thus stay where you are - do you usually fall quickly?? I know you'll be ttc-ing like mad soon

ps. I have a jar full of shells that we add to whenever we go to the Isle of Wight (our favorite place). Where does that fit in with all the pebbles, stones, sand and beer?????? Only kidding

Glad you are feeling getter Hippy.

Good to hear from you ILGH still trying to work out what all the references are!

I need your advice, guys....I have decided I'd like to tell dd that we are having treatment. I don't mean about the donor, I would only tell her that if it actually worked. The reason is that I am just very worried she will kick me in the tummy. She is always doing things like that, we do a lot of tomboy fighting and I can't guarantee she will not kick or hit me in the tummy during my two week wait. I know the tummy is very insulated but I am still a little bit worried about it because she is (like Monica Geller from Friends) 'freakishly strong'! It does not hurt when it happens and she is not a little thug but I am just over sensitive about this. I have been saying be careful there might be a baby in there but after four years of telling her there is not a baby in my (large ? possibly due to irritable bowel) tummy it is hard for her to take in that there really might be one in there - unless I tell her why. She can be quite bright for 5 and seems to have worked out it is unlikely there is a baby! I would not normally tell a child and I am not sure how much to tell her but I feel if I don?t and she kicks me after treatment, I will feel bad for me and cross with her. I know someone else mentioned this before but my dd is much older and stronger than the other person?s child and knowing her as I do, I know she is quite spontaneous.

I am just about to post the same message on the assisted conception so if you read both, sorry to bore you!

Thanks,

TFLS I am sooooo glad all is well. PHEW!!!
Have a on me.

Thanks for the dechen - always appreciated

ILGH - good news re the results. Do they run these tests because you're overseas as I've not heard of them here? Hope you have a good flight and don't arrive to snow.

Italian - loving your beer version! I've got no children so no great advice re your dd but my gut instinct is to tell her something so she knows and understands why you can't enter into rough play. Must be difficult to know where to strike the balance.

Hippy - I'm doing OK thanks. Symptoms coming and going all the time - so I'm either feeling ill or worried. Just don't seem to strike that happy balance inbetween! But maybe that's mythical? How are things with you?

Rowing - from memory I think you have the funeral coming up soon?

About telling DD ... My thinking is, and please bear with me; if like me, you have a boisterous one aka your DD, my DS, you're better off saying something even if it is along the lines of that the doctors are doing some work on your tummy and you are not to have any hits, kicks whatever in that area.
I have the beginning of a slipped disc between L4 and L5 and have always down-played the issue as far as telling the kids is concerned until one day ... we went to the play park and my son ran up from behind me and head-butted me right on THE spot.
My husband had to hold me up since I no longer could feel my legs. Aherm. That was a sticky moment right there. Needless to say, I explained rather swiftly that I have problem there and he must never do that again. and thankfully he hasn't. I am grateful!!! Very!!!!

Italiangreyhound, while I can fully understand why you want to stop your daughter jumping on your stomach (DS very similar) I wouldn't link it to a baby. First, even partners have trouble really finding the pregnancy thing real until they can see a bump, I think you're onto a loser with a five year old. Second, I've read that in terms of sibling rivalry its much better to say that it will hurt you rather than it will hurt a potential baby. For you, the baby is the most important thing, for your DD you are the most important thing (well after her obvious ) So, I'd go with Dechen in telling her the doctors are doing work on your tummy, but not go into details

Dechen and SarahMumtoAlex Thanks so much for your advice, I think you are both right, maybe I could say something medical instead of saying what it is. It?s just she is quite hard to get through to! Not sure how that fits with her being bright! I think you are right about possible sibling rivalry, even though she is very keen to have a baby she is also very keen to have a hamster and she is none too gentle when we are looking after my friend?s hamster!

Italian I am in agreement with dechen and sarah. If you've been telling her for ages that there might be a baby in there then she might just think, "Yadda yadda whatever!"

Perhaps, it would be better to tell her that you have a bit of a sore tummy and can she be careful. Also please try to remember that the embryo is right down low in your pelvic at the begining (behind a bone) and so a playful kick to the upper tummy is unlikely to cause probs. Having said that,it sounds like you've waited a long time to have this go at doner ivf and so i do understand why you are concerned.

My youngest is 6 and although he doesn't kick me, he does climb on my lap alot (he sees his role as the baby as very important!) so i did have to say to him that there might be a baby in there and he did try to be more careful.

Once he knew for definite that there was a litle one he was very good about it. So perhaps if you are lucky enugh to get preg once you are able to tell your DD that it's definite she will be careful. Good luck with the threatment by the way. When is it all starting?

Sorry italian I crossed posts with you.

Very funny about her wanting a hamster as well as a baby. For your sake I hope you get the baby - I'd hate to have to buy a hamster!!

Fortunately Dh is allergic so I don't have to go down that road .