Feisty & Fabulous at 40+ more adventures of TTC

[gonepearshaped]

Actually now I feel guilty using up the last post of the thread - hope this will do as a continuation

Woohoo TFLS - fantastic news Good luck - it's so nice that more of you lovely ladies are getting BFPs.

Italian if it's not too personal a question is the egg donation horrifically expensive? Our consultant was quoting £6K but when we move to the Midlands I guess we would have to go through the whole GP referral thing again and if the ED is going to be beyond our means (and £6K definitely is) it would be pointless to start again.

Hi spiralqueen happy to answer any questions. I think it is costing us around £5K. Just to go on the waiting list in the UK is £500. It could be more at another clinic or it could be less, perhaps if you go overseas or if you get your own donor who is willing to donate for you, it may influence the price, not sure.

It is a lot.

Do you know why you are having problems, have you been trying non-stop since your daughter was born? I don't mean non-stop! You know what I mean. Is it just your age that is making it difficult or do you know of a problem? Don't answer if those questions are too personal.

I love your pictures . Your daughter looks very sweet.

We have a DD too and do feel very blessed and happy to have her.

All the best.

Italian Thank you for the comments about DD. She is sweet but rapidly learning to use that to her advantage Contrary to midwife's "take a year to get over the birth then try for another" we had been trying if not from when I got home from hospital but shortly after. Cycles began again quickly but were all over the shop and have only settled down again over the last 6-8mths. Saw GP about a year ago as I was concerned about it being so erratic and she took bloods and said I was doing really well for my age and that DD was a testament to my being very fertile and referred me to the fertility clinic.

However their view was rather different - that the results were actually normal or slightly below what they should have been. Subsequent tests which have taken forever to get done and processed have shown that my FSH level is much higher than they like (which ruled out IVF) and my AMH barely registered (which ruled out IUI) so left ED or adoption.

Much as I know fertility drops off a cliff at our age, I had fondly thought that DD's natural (if unplanned) arrival meant that a second DC was possible.

Did they give you any ideas about how long a wait for an ED was likely to be? Waiting must be such a nightmare.

We are overjoyed with DD and I have this awful guilt about not being able to give her a sibling. The adults I know who were only children themselves do seem to have a much harder time of it when it comes to looking after their elderly parents with no siblings to share the care/decisions. As an older parent myself clearly DD is going to be going through that situation earlier than many of her contemporaries when she may well be up to her ears with a career and a young family of her own.

Spiral, your DD is beautiful.I do hope you will be able to have another.

How's everyone?

I've had a shitty day.DS is teething and hopelessly clingy (poor wee thing, not his fault) and I've been chart watching all week after fertility friend suggested I may have ovulated.I don't think I did, but it didn't stop me from being madly hopeful and I wasted a digital test today which gave the expected answer: "NOT pregnant". Ouch.Despite expecting that, I feel very defeated.It doesn't help that I am tired.
The bloody frustrating thing is that after all this I don't even expect I'll get AF, which at least would signal that something is stirring in my girly bits!It remains to be seen.If it is going to happen it should in the next few days.But I'm feeling less than hopeful...I wish time wasn't running out so I could just relax and forget about it.
Anyone else waiting to test?

Hi everyone, dropping in to wave and say hello . Am always reading the posts but realise i have nothing of any great interest to say! AF is one week away - trying not to think about it but time is passing very slowly. This monthly rollercoaster is hard work. So yes gumblossom i'm with you but I'm going to sit it out - can't face the POAS slap in the face!

Love to the hippy and TFLS and jollster mini bumps

Hippy all ok still?

Gumblossom Hope you can relax, are you a real Aussie or a POM! I went to Oz a few years back and heard about poms a lot! I hope you can relax, Aussies are famous here for being relaxed and laid back, so sending you relaxed vibes!

Sprialqueen Hi waiting is such a nightmare, I mean it is just harder now we are at the top of the list. It is like that film ?Clockwise? - where the hope of getting somewhere is actually harder than it not being possible! No, I don?t really mean that, it just feel like that. It creeps in and influences everything at the moment. Feeling quite raw and emotional as we get to this final (I hope) hurdle! Or rather the first of the final hurdles!

Waves to all

Sprialqueen regarding our child being an ?only? one (although we don?t use that phrase at home, we just talk about the three of us), she is a real blessing so if there is just one then so be it. I have calmed down about this a bit and now she is 5 it is easier to cope with than when she was small. She went through a phase of saying she wanted a baby!

I guess since your post Sprialqueen I have been thinking about how to make it easier for ?one?. I?ve always tried to enable her to be good at sharing, have lots of friends, people around her, to build and nurture (I hope) a close relationship with her cousins (who she adores) and to give her role models (a few fairly good friends who only have one child).

There are several kids she?s known since she was born. If she keeps those friendships going she will have that relationship ?record? of her life in another person, which having a sibling may bring. (I know it doesn?t always work, have got relative with a decade between them and their sibling so they did not share same childhood things.)

Anyway, at this stage, although we are going for donor eggs and really want that, or adoption, to work I am slightly less concerned with giving her a sibling but I totally understand where you are coming from, .

Lastly, I guess I can make life easier for dd when one of us/both of us die by making a will (we are doing that next month) and if I need to be cared for etc I will not expect her to do it. I?ll try and take the burden off her for me and dh in our old age and death. Maybe by then she will be married or have a significant other so she won?t have to go through it alone. This is incentive for me to get as/keep as fit as possible and live a long time! Yes, went to keep fit last night and really enjoyed it.

It?s not easy to deal with aging parents, I?m going through it with a young child but I know of others going through it with teenagers! Which is harder, I think for me it would be teenagers (also know some who have both!).

Finally, dd would rather have a hamster now than a baby (so she says) so we can at least give her that!

Hope that helps - sorry for the mega long post!

Timid knocking, impy smile and "can I join in please?" I'm 45, and in the mists of time was diagnosed with unexplained infertility. However, having blighted some 15 years of my life with fertility treatments, I was rewarded a billion times over with DD when I was 40 (IUI). In my head I really don't think there's another one on the horizon - yet in my heart there's a part of me that never wants to give up hope. I've been following the posts for ages and you all seem and look so lovely that I've finally plucked up the courage to say hello. "hello!"

SilverStuddedBlue I bet I am the only other one still up (ironing!) so will be the first to say welcome. Oh except there are some in other climes so they may be getting up as I am going to bed.

Hello SilverStuddedBlue, glad you could join us.

Was just popping in to say hello and get this back on my "I'm on" list. Off to play tennis and got a singing lesson today. Am giving the agnus castus a rest this month and I seem to have cheered up considerably. Coincidence?

ILGH, I wonder if the agnus castus can do that? I wouldn't be surprised - if it affects the hormones, which in turn affect our mood!I was much more blue when I was on the mini pill.

Still no AF here...but no longer hoping it means pregnancy, I just don't believe it could be with the silly temps I'm getting.Crossing fingers that I'll ovulate in the near future. I had Tarot done and apparently she sees a bfp around May/June.So, I'll hang in there...

Welcome SilverStuddedBlue. Nice to meet you.

Italiangreyhound it is NOT true that all Aussies are laid back! We might be a bit slow to respond to prodding, but that's just cos it's so bloody hot most of the year! Just kidding, it isn't always hot!
There's a real mixture of types here, but I suppose it is true that we don't have that "stiff upper lip" thing going on like some POMs(certainly not all of them).All the Poms I've met, I happen to really like!Especially you lovely ladies!

Hi. I'm not sure if it's the agnus castus but the pills had dong quai and black cohosh too, so could be that. I'll get some vitex when I'm back next in the UK and see if taking just that makes a difference. I do remember that I was always ill on the pill - as in "stop the car I'm going to vomit" ill so maybe i'm hypersensitive to tweaking hormones. But I am making a concerted effort to not be a miserable cow and am trying to exercise more. Got the name of an acupuncture practitioner so may give that another go. My friend is a great reflexologist but has buggered off back home - how inconsiderate!

Am on Day5 today, gearing up for swi week.

Welcome SilverSB!! Good to have you here.

ILGH - I tried Agnus Castus to sort out my short luteal phase after having IUS removed but tbh I think if I had been more patient it would have sorted itself out. My whole cycle got completely messed up but righted itself pretty quickly once I stopped taking it. It gave me awful headaches too. I have had 4 sessions of relexology (thanks to Hippy mentioning it) and I think that has done wonders in bringing everything in to balance. It's also quite reassuring as the reflxologist tells me everything is working - ovulation etc - but of course can't comment on the quality of the less-than-farm-fresh eggs.

gumblossom and spiralqueen I have all the same feelings as you regarding the possibility fo my DD being an only child. It is not what I ever wanted for her but her father refused to try for another baby after she was born. I now have a lovely DP and so we're trying for a (half-)sibling for her. My sister and I have always supported each other - particularly in adulthood - and I would love my DD to have that too. However, siblings do not always get on and she's very good at making friends (I think only children learn this skill fast) and so if she has to be an only child, she will be OK.

Ooops! Sorry, I didn't mean gumblossom in my last post, I meant italian

Evening all, I'm up too. Welcome SilverSB.

Bad news is

Kiwikat Cd3

so we're on the road to ivf. Very scared. Rowing - help!

Have also been thinking that I don't want ds to be an only child - I loved being part of a big family so much, that's what I wanted for him too. I'm sure he'll be fine, but you know what I mean ...

Evening all, I'm up too. Welcome SilverSB.

Bad news is

Kiwikat Cd3

so we're on the road to ivf. Very scared. Rowing - help!

Have also been thinking that I don't want ds to be an only child - I loved being part of a big family so much, that's what I wanted for him too. I'm sure he'll be fine, but you know what I mean ...

Hi all,
ILGH I have a complex relationship with ag. castus. I was taking it when I conceived my DS, but not to correct my cycle, but because I was trying to reduce the size of a fibroid before surgery. Not sure if that is why it happened. I was also very fit and quite slim at the time - unlike now.
Since then I have tried to replicate the experiment, but it only served to muck up my cycle, extending it from 28 days to 33 and the like. I also felt depressed when taking it. I read that if you have higher progesterone levels it can cause depression, but then that wouldn't explain the irregular lp for you would it?
All that tinkering with herbs it's so confusing isn't it?
I'm just taking Q10 and folic acid at the moment.
Silver hi there. Welcome, welcome, welcome. We are having some rather pensive musings on here at the moment, but we aren't always so reflective. Sometimes we are just silly. I hope you find the support and chat that you need here.
Frosticle and Italian I so echo your sentiments about having a cherished 'one'. I find saying 'only' quite annoying, because it doesn't reflect my feelings for my little boy at all, feel as if I am diminishing him slightly.
I agree having a sibling is no guarantee of a close, life-long relationship. It is easy to be complacent with family (I have a brother I see fairly infrequently). I share your views that it is important to nurture lots of friendships and teach their value to our LOs.
Kiwi don't worry, I will hold your hand. What is happening, have you been given a date or a referral for a date?
Gum I have some lovely Ozzie friends too, but all very different from each other and some more laid-back than others.
Poor little Charlie I hope he is feeling a bit more himself soon.
TFLS are you there?
Tetley hope the next week goes quickly for you. At least you have the distraction of trying to live on £2.50 following Christmas and the sales.
I'm not sure where I was when I posted last, but AF arrived yesterday, which was bang on 28 days. Pleased I have gone back to normal, but still not feeing up to having the embryo transfer this cycle. Have two matching cold sores, one on each corner of my mouth, naaice! Just a big, old, slobby lump since the Christmas freeze. Time to wakey wakey and follow Italian's example in the exercise stakes.
So it will be February now for the FET. I think I'm putting it off because I kind of think it isn't going to work and I don't want to go through that again yet.
Oh and here's the list with me
Hopeful45 -Age-45 - TTC#4 -DD(10);DD(6);DS(4)
Jollster - Age-41 -5 weeks PG with #2 DS(1.9)
HippyChick-Age- 43 -8 weeks PG with #3?
Frosticle - Age 44 - TTC#2 DD (4)
Gumblossom- Age 43 - TTC #6 DS(18)DS(16) DD(12)DD(9)DS(1)
Jemima Puddle-Age 42-TTC#3? D(10); D(2)
Tetleytea-Age 42 - TTC#2 DD (3.5)
Rowing Boat Age 43 (nearly wrote 53) TTC#2 going for FET February.
ILove GH - Age 40 - TTC#4 DSx3
The FL Screams - Age 41 - ttc #1
KiwiKat - age 43 (44 on 21st Jan - I like chocolate cake and wine) - TTC#2 DS (3.6)
Missy 8c - Age 42 DD (21);DD (7 mos?) - WTT
Italiangreyhound - Age 44 - TTC#2- waiting for DE - DD(5)
Gonepearshaped
Summersky - Age 46
Totally Floaty - Age 39 - TTC #4
Spiral Queen - Still 46! TTC#2 DD(2)-natural conception
Woodelf - still 46 TTC#2 DS(3) - natural conc.

Hi everyone

Just popped in to say hello. Just got past the 5 weeks mark and saw the doctor the other day who suggested I get an early scan at 10 weeks but (unfortunately!) said the dentist visit would probably be alright - I'm phobic so was hoping she would say I couldn't go! So rang the dentists and checked with them - who also said it was OK - damn!

rowing - good news that your cycle is bang on target. at cold sores. I hate them. And a matching pair to add insult to injury.

Kiwi - sorry about AF. IVF must be very scary but it also could be the start of everything (we need an excited, holding hand emoticon).

ILGH - I've been seeing an acupuncturist since my m/c last year and she's been brilliant.

Gum - liking your tarot reading!

Frostile - love the Big Fat Congrats!

SilverStuddedBlue - lovely to have you on board. Welcome.

Hello ladies,
I am new to MumsNet and not sure if I should post here or under assisted conception.
I am 43 (44 at the end of March) and my DH and I have twin boys coceived via IVF who will be 4 years old at the end of May. Since the birth of the boys we have had 3 x further failed attempts at IVF and have also considered adoption.
Half considering giving IVF another go using donor eggs and was wondering if anyone here has any advice on clinics, waiting lists etc.
Just wanted to say hello really and wish you all the very best of luck.

Hi Alfiemac, welcome to the thread. You are in the right place for chat about TTC, we are all over forty and trying for another LO.
How did you manage with twins, that must have been quite a challenge?

Hi all and especially ALFIEMAC, welcome.

ALFIEMAC If it helps, I?m happy to answer any questions on donor eggs. Not sure what clinics you are considering and what part fo the country you are in. I have heard good things about the Lister but we are not in London. We went for a midlands Care Fertility clinic, which seems good. On the Assisted Conception thread have heard good things about Guys in London but don?t know any more exactly who does what. We were waiting for donor eggs here in the UK.....and....

My news? We have got our donor!

It was confirmed today.

Praise God.

Feel fab, all sorted and we really are at the start again!

An altruistic donor. There were other possible options (altruistic/egg sharer) I just got a gut feeling for this lady, and she could start soon - which was a real bonus for us after waiting so long.

At the clinic they said it was our choice of about three. It was funny because really two best options were so similar! Quite rare (I think) to get a choice and have usually only been told about two at a time.

Because it was not a known donor you only get really limited details of the donors, you don't see a picture etc in this country. Which I, personally, feel may be better! I can?t quite imagine the donor, I just see her as a lovely person!

In some clinics you probably do not get a choice at all, they try and advise who is best for you. When they are able to offer choices they do seem to do so. I can only speak for our chain of clinics, not sure how others work.

Our donor sounds perfect to me. So kind and great, whatever happens we will have given it our shot.

Trouble is I have spoken to people on a couple of other threads so currently trying to pass on the news in a few different, more relative, ways!

Start treatment next week! [dancing smilie face icon]

All the best to all.

Quick correction, we were only ever told about two at any time, before, but often just one was mentioned!

Don't want to make it sound like there were lots of donors.

Want to be realistic.

Normally there might be some reason why a person wasn't right so you didn't really get to hear any more about them.

There are not many donors so that is why the long wait but once you are at the top of the list you get to hear what the situation is!

It is totally different (I hear) in the U.S.A. and probably in other countries too.

Sorry, not making much sense, so excited!

Italian that's great news, you must be getting excited.
Is the donor an egg share?
Do you have to take any hormones as part of the process?
So what happens next....?

Italiangreyhound, that is great news! Very exciting.
Welcome Alfiemac, this is a lovely bunch of ladies.
How are you feeling Rowing? Hope you are on the mend so you can start your ivf soon.

Charlie is much improved - not so clingy - feeling better I'm pleased to say.Clingy toddlers are hard work! But so lovely in other ways! I do like the cuddles.
I'm still having temps above coverline, and even had a few "twinges" in the tummy, so maybe something is going on in there! I'm waiting for my internet cheapie tests to arrive, and will do a test when they do. I don't hold a lot of hope as the digi was neg at 13 dpo, and they say they pick up 99% of pregnancies 1 day before period is due, so that made me feel pretty sure.However, theres a 1% chance the test was wrong...I know, I know, I'm clutching here...
Here's my chart if you want to take a peek and give opinions:
www.fertilityfriend.com/home/186327

Morning all. Really good news Italian. What's next in the process?

Gum, looked at that chart. What's the dip on day 13? Have just started temping this cycle and will look to you as guru .

Welcome Alfiemac.

Spoke to my good friend in the UK last night in the nick of time to keep me on the path to sanity - we used to work together and she understands the boredom thing I have. Am now thinking about doing some a-levels to keep my brain active before I can get back to the UK and start the midwifery degree hopefully in 2012. I already have a chemistry degree and a pgdip in organisational behaviour so am thinking about biology and psychology and maybe maths for a laugh. ANy suggestions?

Hope things are going well TFLS, Hippy and Jollster.