Just MC'd. Starting it all again.. Come and join me for the long haul, vol 2

[thefatladyscreams]

Hardly the most original title but I didn't want to loose anyone (well that's my excuse for the lack of originality!)

hi - sorry have been lurking but not posting much.

Sorry cheepz hope you are ok.

Am CD21 today and have had some spotting and low cramping over the last 3 days... am wondering (and hoping against all hope) if that might be implantation....

Will try and hold out until at least the weekend to POAS. Sort of don't want to build my hopes up.

Welcome newbies, sorry for your recent experiences but glad that you found this thread, lots of good advice and support here. sun, isn't it strange that it happened when you were least expecting it?! Makes me think that it's true what they say about not stressing over it, but that's so hard and NOT really what I want to hear. Time feels of the essence. Will you still be starting Clomid in Jan.?

fingers, definitely leave the house a mess next time the folks come.

Cheepz, so sad AF caught up with you. It's a real heartbreaker when your own body and mind betray you on such an emotional matter! Good that your DH is being a dear.

TFLS, I don't think you're kidding yourself about getting pregnant. It might just take a little more work than it woulda 20 years ago. Hang in there, I think it'll happen for you.

As for me, acupuncture was a joke! My practitioner looked like Robert Downey Jr. with Kramer (from Seinfeld) hair and a bedside manner to match! I asked him what acupuncture would do for my fertility and he just replied "it's hard to explain" !!?? I was then left in a COLD room for 20 min., needles sticking out everywhere - totally uncomfortable. To top it off, I thought he'd tell me a little something about the balance of my qi, but...NOTHING. Just, "hope to see you next week." Fat chance .

Well, am currently in the 2ww and trying to be patient as well as not even start to get hopes up.

Always hold out hope for the implantation bleed joll!

oooh lots of EWCM today so will be dancing the baby-tango this evening.....feeling very optimistic (are you suprised!! ever the optimist....) So excited to be on a proper cycle with you guys again.....no more tippytoeing around....the capacity the mind and body has to heal from trauma is totally amazing and i really think the counselling has really helped me in so many ways.

really praying for some good news jollster - we are due a BFP and this thread could do with a lucky streak.....

still listening to my 'female fertility enhancer' meditation at bedtime on my ipod and it is really helping relax me and visualise creating a happy healthy baby home....only cost a tenner to down load and anything to help with the stress has to be good eh! i can email it over to any of you that want it if you provide the email address....share and share alike!!

Aghhh had just typed up a long post and the site crashed.

What a nightmare zayja. I'd swop him if I were you (but your description did make me laugh). I saw a hynotherapist years ago who gave me the creeps and had this weird nasal whistle - there was a never a cat in hell's chance that it would work as I was too busy trying not to giggle. My lady is lovely and discusses my temp charts etc in loads of detail and gives me lots of info, for example how my pulse reflects where I am in my cycle. Sorry you had such a raw deal.

cheepz it doesn't seem fair how the body can trick us but all part of the joy (clenched teeth) of this TTC business. How long til the hols?

Good to hear from you tigerbear and glad you've won the battle with BT. I read something about Zita West at the Fertility Show where she said couples should try every couple of days - so you could still get back on schedule following her advice! It did make me think whether there was a reduction in sperm quality if you tried every day (which we've been doing). Does anyone know?

jollster - fingers crossed it's implantation bleeding for you.

oooo zayja your practitioner sounds like a real find ....
TFLS I read/heard/imagined that every other day is best for sperm quality unless you're bedding a 19 year old.... or maybe that's what I told myself as no way I could summon the inclination for every day ...

now think the spotting and cramping i have had is too much for implantation... as in over too many days , today is day 5. Wonder whether it's a prolonged early start to AF. Last month my cycle was extra long at 33 days, maybe this month is going to be extra short and even me back up to my average of 27ish. Who knows?? Will hold out to test until Sat which will be CD25... but maybe the wicked witch will make that unnecessary... boo...

Oh a 19 year old - DH is definitely not that, bless him!

Maybe the cramps are non-cycle related? Avoid those evil testing sticks for as long as you can!

Hi all ZAYJA you re accunpuncturist sounds awful mine is lovely, really friendly we have a lovely chat while i m lying there with the needles in place!!!!

Managed to BD day 6,8,10,11,13 and all being well, tonight day 15.....Been hard work soo far when did sex become soo unspontaneous? Do n t hold out much hope though...Just accepting it won t happen....Just chasing up follow up appt for re-current miscarriage clinic it all grinds soo slowly.

Hi to all "new recruits" to the thread, wish you luck with it all.

hi all

feeling much better now its CD2! i hate CD1 its just soooo right back to the start.

hols in 3 days - leave sat night to dubai and then transfer to next plane to cape town, and we are business class all the way (because we thought i would be big and fat and pregnant by now when we booked it!!) still at least it will be a treat and ds has own seat so we will have loads of space and he will love it.

2 weeks of sun and a second week of bd mania means we may come back with BIO. But I have decided I am going to apply for a new job at work as I need a change

Have been hanging in job for last 6 months because keep thinking will get pregnant and can't be bothered to move and don't want to move and then lumber new boss with preganacy and mat leave etc. But after last month have become too obsessed with trying to get pg because I am putting everything on hold until it happens.

I figure if i get a new job it will actually make me feel like would be better not to get pg right away so will not be so obsessed as will have new focus and want to do a good job of new job before getting 'knocked up'

it will of course invioke sods law and I will get pg straight away

boodle so good to have you back on board and so impressed with your emotional recovery - also share your optimistic stance on life so there with you lady.

tfls and zayja thanks for kind words and think you are both bonkers for letting anyone stick needles in you!!!

Hi all

Cheepz hols plan sounds amazing, and there's loads of stats on hols improving chance of conception so we will be crossing everything for you!

I know what you mean re the job thing. I was due June next year so hanging on in there and thinking of career change to s/t more flexible after mat leave. After mc,I am now thinking - what the f*, life is too short maybe a change now would take my mind off TTC? Change is as good as a rest and all that? Am also with you on the tempting fate thing, new job and whoops up the duff! (That's what happened with DS1, started my own business, month 1, pg!) Here's hoping.....

Zayja classic story re therapist, but sorry it wasn't a better experience. Got my first appointment today!!

TFLS re sperm quality - I read that the old wives tale re going blind from too much masturbation/sex was due to the loss of zinc in the sperm, hence decline in quality. This was saying many times a day would cause that not once (not sure where I would get the energy from for even one every 2 days mind...!). I also think if DP/DH has zinc rich diet + supplements then as much BD as poss surely wouldn't harm??

Louisesh - very impressed with that schedule - you are inspiring me when I get back to it;)

Have added myself to the list. Waiting for that first AF post mc.....feeling so impatient but still BFP, nausea, sore breasts, bloody body needs to sort itself out. Can't wait to add myself to the TTC list.

RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL 26-30 cycle 10 CD 41
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 1 CD23
Apples TTC#3 UCL 28 cycle 2 CD22
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 7 CD22
CakeandFineWine TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 1 CD21
Jollster TTC#2 Cycle 2 UCL 26-33?! CD21
TFLS TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 4 CD21
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 5 CD20
Zayja TTC#1 UCL 24-27 cycle 7 CD15
Louisesh TTC#1 UCL33 cycle 2 CD13
Meita TTC#1 UCL 30-45 cycle 3 CD13
boodleboot TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 2 CD8
Cheepz TTC#1 UCL 28 Cycle 4 CD1
Sunburnt TTC#2 UCL28 Cycle WTF CD?

WTTC
LeeWT
Justbeenforapromenade
Fingerscrossedlegsopen

MIA (stopped at CD60)
em22 TTC#? UCL 28 cycle 3 CD60
trixel TTC#3 UCL 28-35 cycle 7 CD60

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
Stressy BFP 22nd August
becky78 BFP 4th September
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September
VivCliquot BFP 10th September
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September
Chamois BFP 7th October
MrsRigby BFP 11th October

Hi All,

Can I join you? Am/Was(!)a regular on the 40+ board. (Waves to TFLS!)

Have just posted this on mc board but then thought you ladies might be able to help me out here...

I've just been told I have an hcg level of 1200 one week after the mc and that "it's a bit high". If it doesn't come down they say i'll have to have an erpc. Am terrified of that... At the scan they gave me the same day they took the blood sample they said that they could see some clots, but were pretty satisfied it had all gone quite well.

Can anyone tell me what kind of levels they had? Am trying not to worry and have faith in my body. I'm bleeding very very little now, so i feel like "it's all over" but...

Thanks for any help

[TFLS waves back madly] Tetley - so lovely to have you on board here. Although I wish you hadn't had to find us for obvious reasons.

They never told me my levels. I wonder if it is residual hormone left in your body and hopefully it will drop quickly. It must seem like another blow/worry to have deal with at the moment - sorry. If you don't get an answer, maybe try the Miscarriage Association helpline - I've heard people say it is very good but I've no idea how much technical info they can provide.

How are you doing today?

Hi Tetley

We have "met" before on the mc forum, used to be called witzend but as you can see from my name change am feeling more positive now Hello and thanks for your advice over there.

I just wanted to reply to let you know I am thinking about you. I am also worried re high hcg levels given still testing BFP 2 weeks post mc, still sore boobs, nausea, pains and had funny dizzy turn this am holding onto supermarket trolley like some old biddy . Going to doc tomorrow and going to ask for bloods to get hcg levels tested as EPU says scan shows all passed so "nothing to worry about" (!).

Will report back but, for now, good luck.

Love the change of name fingers! I always chortle when I read your name.

Hi TFLS and Fingers, thanks for posts.

I'm doing ok on the whole thanks TFLS, was thinking it was all behind me but am feeling a bit knocked back today. The doc said there might still be tissues there that are producing hormone (sounds a bit sinister doesn't it?!). It's true that they took the blood on tuesday so it may have gone down by now. I looked on internet and found that this level is still that of a 5-week pregnancy - eek! TMI...

May splurge and get blood test done privately tomorrow as i just can't face worrying about it till appt next tuesday...The idea of a D&C gives me nightmares...i know i'm a bit OTT but can't help it.

Poor you fingers, you sound like you're having a hard time. Hope doc can reassure you tomorrow. I read that you'll get + preg test at over 25 hcg, so even when it's very low.

Hi TETLEYTEA i had a MMC last oct at 12 week scan had medical management it took 5 weeks for me to get a neg test folloeing the same don t know what my hgc levels were though.This year in Sept i had 2 nd MC at 8 weeks had ERPC and only took 10 days for a neg test.The ERPC was fine much better than the medical management, in and out within the morning felt, physically, fine.

Sorry for your loss it stinks doesn t it?

Hi to everyone else failed to BD on cd15.Rowed with DH instead!!! You know how it is????? Will try again tonight cd16.Hi FINGERSCROSSED glad i m inspiring you its becoming very hard work great name by the way!!!!!

CHEEPZ enjoy your hols sound fab.I m going to Bruges next weekend for my bday can t waot!!! Went last year was lovely and xmassy [is that a real word?]

Just one quick question to all? Why is the WHOLE world pregnant???????

Evening boodleboot, cheepz and tigerbear and hello everyone else.

I bet your wondering why I'm back. I wish I wasn't.

I miscarried on Tuesday morning, ironically I was supposed to have the dating scan that afternoon.

DH and I still can't get the image of the fetus in the sac and then the placenta out of our minds.

I can't believe it's happened.

Apparently the baby just stopped growing at about 5-6 weeks. Missed miscarrage.

We brought a bear for the new baby as we did for DS. We didn't really know what to do with it at first, but we've since decided to keep it and I'm going to sew on the date we miscarried. Something physical to show that there was a baby that was loved and very much wanted.

It's like nothing ever happened, things are back to normal.

DH and I agreed that same day that we are going to TTC ASAP. Got a scan on Monday afternoon, probably to check everything is gone so as soon as that is out the way and I've stopped bleeding it's sex every other night for god knows how long.

I can't believe I'm going through this again.

Oh well.

How is everyone else?

RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL 26-30 cycle 10 CD 41
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 1 CD23
Apples TTC#3 UCL 28 cycle 2 CD22
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 7 CD22
CakeandFineWine TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 1 CD21
Jollster TTC#2 Cycle 2 UCL 26-33?! CD21
TFLS TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 4 CD21
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 5 CD20
Zayja TTC#1 UCL 24-27 cycle 7 CD15
Louisesh TTC#1 UCL33 cycle 2 CD13
Meita TTC#1 UCL 30-45 cycle 3 CD13
boodleboot TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 2 CD8
Cheepz TTC#1 UCL 28 Cycle 4 CD1
Sunburnt TTC#2 UCL28 Cycle WTF CD?

WTTC
LeeWT
Justbeenforapromenade
Fingerscrossedlegsopen
MrsRigby

MIA (stopped at CD60)
em22 TTC#? UCL 28 cycle 3 CD60
trixel TTC#3 UCL 28-35 cycle 7 CD60

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
Stressy BFP 22nd August
becky78 BFP 4th September
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September
VivCliquot BFP 10th September
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September
Chamois BFP 7th October
MrsRigby BFP 11th October MMC 17th November

fuck fuck fuck MrsR i am so so sorry. No magic words to make you feel better just lots of prayers for you and your lost bean.

a bear sounds like a really nice way to remember the baby.

gutted to have you back but really glad you have come straight back. Let us support you hun. Vent away if needs be....

you can come and help me mine the pitfalls of TTC one -tubed

Oh MrsR - I don't know what to say. That is just so unfair and cruel. So so sorry for you.

The bear is a lovely thought - your little bean was so loved. I'm sorry my sweetie.

We're all here for you.

Oh MrsR so very sorry, thats sooo tragic, was hoping for you so much.

I have had a terrible day. My cousin was found dead this morning by his girlfriend. He had just stopped breathing in the night and never came round. He was 29. The most tragic thing is his father (my uncle) was killed when he was 40 in the helicopter that crashed into the mull of kintyre, so my aunt lost her husband at 40 and now her eldest son at 29. He has two siblings as well who have lost so much.

Its not been the best.

Hi all

Oh God, so sorry to hear your news Mrs R, also thinking of you and DH at this time. . I think the bear idea is absolutely lovely and hope it at least gives you both some comfort.

I bought a heart bracelet (large and small heart) which I found symbolic and strangely comforting. I look like a mad woman kissing it all the time but don't give a shit.

Bloody hell Cheepz what a tragic day for you and the family. I was so sorry to read your post. Take care.

Thanks for the comments Tetley - do hope you're feeling better. Had "interesting" day yest. Had acupuncturist (1st visit) (also ex midwife/gynae nurse - lovely lady) - stuck a few needles in and I started to shake uncontrollably. Sweaty palms and v dizzy. She said she wasn't happy at all with my reaction swiftly pulled all the needles out and rang NHS direct. Due to other pains etc.. they referred me straight to A&E.

So picture this, 1st time I had met this lady and within 1/2 hour of meeting she's driving me to A&E!! Bloody hell, was actually quite scared at what they would find - also on my own as DP had to stay with DS cos no childcare. She said "something else is going on with you". I had thought this but was trying to put e/t down to mc.

Anyway, ended up on gynae ward, few investigations etc turned out got kidney infection. No wonder the nausea had got worse and pain radiating into back. All makes sense now!

Am oddly so happy I now know what it is as was so scared was gynae issue. It never rains etc....!!

Hope you all manage a good w/e, thinking of you all, espec Mrs R and Cheepz.

Soo soo sorry to MRS R and CHEEPZ life is a pile of crap sometimes.Both of you take care and rest up....XXX

Cheepz That's awful about your cousin. Your poor family.

Mrs Rigby, I'm really sorry about what happened Hope you're ok.

Blimey, what an adventurwe you had fingers!
It's good how it all panned out with your acupuncturist, and full marks to her for acting so promptly. Thank goodness it was something (relatively) straightforward and nothing gynae-related - phew!! Hope you're well on the way to recovery.

I'm feeling physically really well - (especially in comparison with 3 weeks of nasty pregnancy sickness ) so really trying to be positive and have faith that everything that needs to come out will come out!

Oh, and forgot to say thanks for the info louisesh Seems there's massive variation in how long things take to get back to normal for different people. Which is a good thing really...will try not to let doctors freak me out.