Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic hic>

[extremesitting]

OOOh - Hope this'll do! Emergency!

Oh extreme Wish I had some wise words for yuo. But I don't. I do know how you feel though - I still have a couple of childless friends who I'm clinging to like a life-raft.

extreme Facecrack is the devil's invention as you well know.

I understand what you mean about feeling out of sync with the world - I'm doing it the other way round, in that all my friends are resisting babies, so I can't whine to any of them about how annoying this TTC lark is. That's why we're all hanging out here - to impress others with our wit and general fabulousness while occasionally having a meltdown.

Have a Miss Piggy style karate chop from me. Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-yah!

ps I tend to be the one to make contact (irregularly) with parent-friends and wfiw they seem to be really grateful to hear from a non-parent about Life Outside. Unless they're great actors.

Was out with v dear childless friend (VDCF) the other evening and met her best friend and her goddaughter (9mth baby) - VDCF was telling us about her work and half way through she tailed off having realised we were watching baby. I caught her face and it was awful. We were interested (she has the most amazing, fascinating job) but babies are eye-magnets (like tellies in pubs). I felt really guilty cos I know she's really sensitive about this sort of thing. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it won't be deliberate and your friends will be trying to find a new balance in their lives too.

vag Don't POAS! (I feel like being controversial) (In fact, while I'm at it, ML should be reduced to five days, six if you've had a c-section; croissants should be cut in half and spread with marmite; babies should wear dry-clean only clothes...)It'll only be depressing if it's a negative. No sticks for you until you're passed your longest cycle date. I HAVE SPOKEN.

OOOh yes!!.... about the longest cycle I mean.... that way if you are knocked up you can be one of those casual pregnant types... "Oh yah... didn't even notice I was late...I SO haven't even been trying that hard..."

Oh to be one of those casual types!!!

Update: Have had a word with self (as well as some practically chewable strong coffee) and I am now fine. I don't know what all the fuss was about. Damn hormones

extremesitting fb can hurt me too. My peers seem to be oh-so-successful - e.g., photo-editor for a NYC magazine, penthouse in Manhattan. Or how about the one who has money pissing out of her ears - who stayed at my house a few months ago on her way out of the UK with a SUITCASE full of cash (hiding it from the taxman) - people living in beautiful big houses - 3 postgrad degrees - beautiful children - wonderful families. It makes me want to eat worm soup.

Wouldn't that be brilliant? Never knowing your CD, or frantically googling sore throats as a potential early pregnancy symptom

Oh, can I just say that apart from the photo-editor who dragged herself out of the gutter (didn't even get GCSEs and is now hanging out with Mario Testino) - none, not ONE have worked for their wealth.

I met a girl in the boondocks of canada a few years ago who told me that she was envious of my life and that I'd achieved so much - when I think of her I think "yes, it's OK" - but it's so easy to be knocked down.

ski You know it's all lies, though. People are never going stick the cruddy bits of their lives on bumface. It am the home of smug.

camel Yes, you're probably right. (are right obviously) - well actually I have one friend who is utterly determined to drag her carcrash of a love/sex-life through her status updates and I watch with morbid curiosity - and when I fear she's going to far phone her up and give her a pep talk whilst adjusting my judgey-pants.

Am annoyed with myself for sitting on my ever-increasing bottom all the time at the moment. You lot are all active and gorgeous - how am I going to get myself back to the gym? And what should I do when I get there?

ski I am going to deliver myself of an opinion.

Now I don't know you very well, despite being a prty to some of the most inimate of your thoughts, but I am the world's best observer and assimilator (and modest). I think that you have achieved wonders in your short life - it's not all about jobs or money or bin lidz but about how far you come in your life and whether you can truly say you have made the very best of the hand you have been dealt.

Tiresomely, I put myself under this scrutiny from time to time and that is how I decide what direction to pursue - my morbid fear is being on my death bed regretting something I have not done or taken advantage of when the opportunity arose. If you can say that you did that to the best of your abilities, tried to find the positives or ways to see a silver lining in the darkest clouds and put your best foot forward whenever you could, what's to be depressed about?

Lecture over.

and that applies to cameltoe and thedressinggown too.

Bah - for once I had some words of wisdom and wrote a big long reply to extreme which I lost coz we had a power cut - so this is also late as have been offline for the last hour. Have tried to reconstruct it - I think it said that it's easy to feel left out of an exciting world that everyone else is inhabiting - but the reality is that it's just not true. Facebook is a load of bullshit in that we only put up the pics we want the world to see - not ones of us having rows with partners, spending weekends doing the ironing or weeping with lack of sleep at the goddamn baby who won't sleep properly. I don?t have kids so what do I know, but from what I?ve gathered from mumsnet aside from the good stuff it?s stupendously hard work, endlessly frustrating, extremely emotional (and not in a good way) and often makes you question what the hell you were thinking of in having children. Every single one of us envies other people?s lives and lifestyles and worries that everyone is having a better time than us - and you only need to spend five minutes on other threads here to see how bloody miserable a lot of people?s lives are. I can?t help thinking a lot of people put the ?aren?t I exciting and fabulous? pictures on FB to convince themselves that they are...

Well, seems like everyone is feeling a bit today. I can take the gold at the 'feeling everyone else has a much better life than me/I'm left out stuff' - due to getting v ill at 21, had no friends (or a few far away who I could only write to/phone now and then) for absolutely years and couldn't socialise, etc. Health crap has also meant have/will never be able to get a good job cos health record unreliable and no real job experience (this really pisses me off as was top at school for everything (except maths and science) and 'most likely to succeed'). Wanted to be a professional dancer and performance artist, managed to do it briefly, but health put stop to that too. I've had to watch life pass me by and give up on virtually all my dreams and ambitions (totally aware this is why I'm obsessed with having DC) and not have many friends and never do anything exciting, and never have any cash, etc. Although got a lot better a few years ago (when I fucking diagnosed myself, the useless Drs), it's left me lazy (used to not being able to do owt), unsocial, immature and a bit scared of the big wide world. Every-bloody-day to me is having to make myself ignore feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, bitterness, etc. Oh yeah, and the health probs make me put on weight and hard to lose it, so am slightly overweight despite barely being able to eat anything and going to gym regularly. Lurching from being teased for being so scrawny my whole life to being slightly chubby - cheers, universe. Do I win a prize? I hope it's a frying pan to the face until I pass out. Except I'd prolly just be jealous of that cos it'd be Le Creuset or summat and my frying pan has a wonky handle and my Mum bought it cos I was too skint to buy a fucking frying pan

On the plus side, I have a lovely family, the friends I have ARE ace (incl. you lot, of course), TYF is my dream man and I do have great hair.

Sorry to whine, I wasn't really trying to outdo anyone else's misery. Just felt like offloading if others were too. The jollity has fallen away and we're showing our true - miserable - selves

PS ideal - you forgot that women should be back in a pretty size 10 frock and having sex with the husband 2 days after birth. You're such a slattern!

NorkWatch: no tittypain today but when woke up, laid on my back, boobs were pointing straight up with no side-slippage ie bit like fake breasts. Now, I am still quite perky, but it's been a long time since they didn't veer towards the sides when on my back! Stood up, they also look zeppelin-tastic. Must stop driving self mad seeing any little thing as an updiff sign!

I want VAG to POAS, but that's for my excited sake. For your sanity's sake, I too think you should wait till limit of R2D2 is reached. If you can wait that long

PS Extreme am jealous of all EVERYONE'S FB pics and updates, incl. you

And two other things

1. noone has told me what [jd emoticon] means yet
2. there are two chickens outside my office window tied up by the feet. Their squeaking is putting me off. Does that win random post of the day?

PPS Wow, that was whiny. My 'pologies

[jd emoticon] - jd = Joey Deacon (well, that's what I presumed it meant). We are BAD people.

And yes, that is most random. An upgrade to FULL board at Euro Jizzney is your prize!

What thetroglodyte and longwee said.

It's hard to compare yourself to your peers - some of the peeps I went to university with are now earning stupid money doing stressful things, a lucky few are following their creative dreams properly, some are earning no money doing worthy things and most are somewhere in the middle. I do suffer from the enuff monster (never being good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, rich enough)but I try to give myself a proper kicking whenever I go down that route.

I guess the problem with this whole SWI lark is that it makes the enuff monster totally crazy - the fact that one friend got up-diffed in the first month of trying means that somehow I've failed because it's now month 9 and still nada. It's not like comparing jobs/finances when I can feel good because my choices and sucesses are my own. Gah. It's a proper headfuck and no mistake.

And I still want to kill the evil cow who told me that it was a good thing that I haven't managed to get up-diffed "because I'd had everything too easy until now". As if not getting pregnant was a cure for being spoiled.

Arse, I was trying for motivational and now I've just made myself cross.

Aaaaaahhh [penny drops emoticon] Thanks scorps. You are indeed bad people

Wow, we are all in the throes of Friday misery. On this basis, I reckon we should declare it open season for venting & provision of sympathy before we all go back to our normal cynicism.

Scorps That all does suck - especially the useless doctors thing. One of my very best friends in the whole world ever has been struggling with health+academic issues for a long time, and she's just started volunteering for a brilliant charity part-time. I have NO idea what your ambitions are or how your work stuff functions, but is there a way that you could ease yourself into finding a job you love by doing an equivalent thing?

I feel your pain scorp. Having been diagnosed with old lady disease as a teenager, the life and career I had been planning for years veered very quickly off track. Settled for another track - didn't enjoy so much, but have finally found a job which combines the two (ambition and settle-for) and it's working out ok. Nonethelss, all the people I went to uni with have much higher-flying careers and I see their names in lights in RL as well as FB.

Body is still a mess, but I got over that a while back and am kind of used to pain. It does mean I can't partake in such fun, fit stuff as cycling, riding, kayaking, climbing, running and all the interests my friends and lover seem to have. As for the gym, what's that? so I curl up with a good book, and spend far too much time on FB.

And because I have a few absoultely wonderful beshtest mates, every now and then I step off that sofa and suffer the pain, because the good times are worth it. (and because alcohol numbs it)

Now, time to stop sharing and start sparring.
I'll see you round the back of the palace in ten, gloves off and no biting

While we're on the miserable train to miseryville, I sold my pride n joy car yesterday to a girl who was squealy-excited to have bought it. I fixed her with a rictus grin and took her money. Which has fallen straight into the black hole that is the moving house expenses fund.