I'm feeling flat today (potentially hangover from early wine but I think the peppermint tea should have seen to that).
Made the fatal error of signing into Facebum first thing this morning. I don't know why I go there. I have discussed this with some friends lately. Facebum just makes me angry and jealous. It always appears that everyone you know looks better than you, has "crazy fun" all the time, have babies that are always clean, quiet and smiling; and worst of all - sometimes they meet up without you being there and take pictures to taunt you with.
I know I've bleated before about all friends having kids. I'm not even bothered about whether I get up-diffed or not this month. In fact I'm considering a break until after Christmas (have had the best sex this month that we have had in about 18 months, thanks to the fact we are not "trying" this month - sorry if TMI).
My problem is... the horrible sense of being completely out of sync with everyone I have loved. I knew that when the children started coming that life would change, but I really hoped we would all change together. I speak to them all so much less than I did. Partly this is because they are busy with the new love of their lives, partly its because I have become a hermit. But mostly its because they all know we are TTC since before they even started trying, so its all getting a bit awkward now. As a result, its easier not speak to me at all. Weirdly that suits me, because if I do speak to them they might ask or worse still, they might NOT ask, instead putting their charming infants on the phone to gurgle at me. Punch in the Nads. (Christ, I've started weeping).
I don't even know hat CD I am one, but I'm pretty sure I have a week to go til R2D2, so christ knows why I am so emotional...