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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic hic>

982 replies

extremesitting · 26/08/2009 14:35

OOOh - Hope this'll do! Emergency!

OP posts:
Scorpette · 10/09/2009 14:57

Talking of tight VAGs, I am still too prissy to start groping me cervix... just yet. Am dismayed about realising that the temp readings taking months to get used to. I want results NOW, goddamit. I was that annoying little bastard at school/uni who never did any revision or put any effort in and still got top marks, which was fun then but means I lack the ability to work at stuff, 'be in for the long haul' and wait to see efforts pay off. Fucksticks.

TYF is the same. He's already sulked at me the last 2 months for having the audacity to ovulate mid-week, instead of the weekend (as I have already moaned about many times before). I can't be mad at him though - every time I have a wobble about being an ancient BESH, he says that I'm so young-looking and youthful in outlook, etc. (ie v immature); he can't be dissuaded from the notion that if I look younger on the outside that my ovaries aren't bouncing with mid-20s health either. Gawd, I wish/hope he's right. Although I suspect he mainly wants me to updiffed to a)shut me up and b)enjoy the benefits of Chesty Morgan-style pg norks,

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chesty_Morgan

Ski, your warped fantasy sounds like the uncut version of the 'Hit Me Baby (one more time)' vid And you're right about the piss-sticks: I use eBay ones and can assure VAG that they are as disappointing and misleading as the expensive clearblue ones I've also tried.

Anyone ever wonder if we're trying all these things to maximise our chances but the stress involved and relying upon them instead of our instincts is making things worse?

Am I the only person who snorted with oo-er, missus laughter at 'nosy beaver hovering around my area'? Are you our 3rd lesbot or wot, Zircy?

Scorpette · 10/09/2009 14:58

PS Zirc - I'm the one who writes too much a lot...

skihorse · 10/09/2009 15:01

Scorpette If his sperm was "any good" it would happily last until mid-week - you might want to remind him of that.

I do believe if I were temping too it would be just too much stress, as it is I feel I'm hindering myself by being in touch with my cervix body. I'd like to be one of those who says "oooh periods, yeh I wondered what that was about innit", "cock? Up my fanjo?, fo shiz?" Ah, blessed are the ignorant because they have 16 kids and a giro book.

laurielou · 10/09/2009 15:02

Nope, the word beaver always makes me laugh.

CUNextTuesday · 10/09/2009 15:03

teehee - does it have big scary teeth?

CUNextTuesday · 10/09/2009 15:03

fuck! I lookd away for 2 seconds to wrap my cutlery...!

Cosmosis · 10/09/2009 15:08

Is that some sort of euphamism cunty?

CUNextTuesday · 10/09/2009 15:15

Not even I, with my sick puppy brain, can think what 'wrapping ones cutlery' might be a euphemism for

Answers on the back of a Clearblue packet to:

[email protected]

Scorpette · 10/09/2009 15:18

Won't somebody help me? Got myself into a slumped position that is the least painful on this, The Day of Agony, and I dropped the TV remote whilst flicking round. It was on ITV2 and it's been stuck on that for the last 2 hours. It's back-to-back Jeremy Kyle; I can't handle the shouting, the 'which one of the 5 blokes I slept with is the father' teen slagginess and above all, the awful from-the-market giant gold earrings. If I hear him bellow 'YOU SHOULD'VE PUT SOMEFINK ON THE END OF IT' just one more time at lads that are a quarter human, a quarter pitbull, a quarter kebab and a quarter fake Burberry check baseball cap, I might have to remove my own eyes with the corner of a magazine and poke biros into my ears until I am deaf.

If I can bear to move, I have 'The Young Victoria' to watch. I've already seen it at the cinema, so can watch it safe in the knowledge that it ends before forcing the delicate BESH viewer to deal with the 'She had 47 children' factor.

CUNextTuesday · 10/09/2009 15:22

Precisely my earlier point scorps. Victoria was about a million stone and she produced LOADS of children! We are all sylph-like by comparison

Cosmosis · 10/09/2009 15:34

No, neither can I really, but then I don't have much imagination

Scorps, throw that empty bottle that's just rolled under the sofa at the telly, that'll probably jolt it onto another channel.

Bessie123 · 10/09/2009 15:38

Aaargh, I tried to post on this thread this morning but the stupid computer wasn't working. So I've just managed to get on here and now dd has woken up and is grizzling so I haven't had time to read all your posts (although I saw there is a new BESH, welcome, Diamond ). But I wanted to tell you all...

After taking 4 (yes, 4) poas tests and them all coming back negative (including the one that said NOT PREGNANT, which practically had a neon light around it and a massive arrow saying BARREN pointing at me) I was still feeling sick this morning, so thought one more test wouldn't hurt, to feed my neurosis. Anyway, test was positive. I'm updiffed. 1-2 weeks, it said

Scorpette · 10/09/2009 15:38

A million stone and a stoner to boot. I wish I could try her 'special' method for getting rid of period pains, hur hur

Cosmosis · 10/09/2009 15:39

Besshie . i KNEW it had to work for one of us this month! This round's on you then.

Scorpette · 10/09/2009 15:40

CONGRATS Bessie!!! Nah, well done. You are our BESHpiration of the week. How long were you TTC for, may I ask (if it was the first month, please lie and say summat like 3 yrs)?

Bessie123 · 10/09/2009 15:48

Thanks. Drinks are definitely on me, although I might sniff them a bit while I sip water

Scorp - I wasn't trying for all that long BUT I have a dd who is not that old, and it was supposed to happen straight away (it didn't).

MUST go and get dd... x

CUNextTuesday · 10/09/2009 16:00

Yey! A DIFFER!!!

VeryAngryGusset · 10/09/2009 16:11

Wohoo! - Well done Beshie! It's been several palaces since we've had a babypass! Bolly-time!

Scorpette · 10/09/2009 16:12

Good for Bessie. We need to aim for one Differ per month at the very least, BESHes. Hop to it!

Just read something in a book about how exercise and stretching and heavy lifting (like exercises) can de-implant implantation. This has completely fucked my head up - after Ov, SHOULD I just keep going to the gym and doing weight training and ab work as usual or be a lazy heffer and do fuck all for 2 weeks (and risk refattenising)? Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! This is tormenting me, as you lot know I was 99% sure I was pg last week, then woke up on Sunday and everything felt different (ie back to normal and undiffed). I'd done a good sesh at the gym on Saturday - what if it put a stop to the diffing? Someone punch some sense into me!

Cosmosis · 10/09/2009 16:49

scorps that way truly madness does lie. I'm sure if it's meant to be it will be and all the lifting in the world will not rid the little bugger from the cosy confines of your goddesslike womb.

VeryAngryGusset · 10/09/2009 17:03

Scorpy that's absolute nonsense - womb is the most protected area.

Scorpette · 10/09/2009 17:07

But a BOOK said it! A BOOK!

idealcamel · 10/09/2009 17:09

What book?

VeryAngryGusset · 10/09/2009 17:10

[stern face] next you'll be telling me the internet never lies!

The Da Vinci Code was a book - you can't tell me that's a work of pure truth...

SkaterGrrrrl · 10/09/2009 17:18

Congratulations, Bessie123