Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic hic>

[extremesitting]

OOOh - Hope this'll do! Emergency!

Skihorse - thanks for the tip

curlycaspar - sorry to hear you are not updiffed.

Sorry cos I was just referring to the remains of your boil . Anyway I didn't say your pussy I said your undercarriage.

Bessie when are you actually due so we can either a) poss keep your hopes alive a little longer by saying too early to test etc or b) certify you as crazed loon for testing 5 mins after ovulation

Ear flicks for all the other big fat fails

I'm due on Saturday but I had one of those early tests. It's very sweet you want to keep my hopes alive but unless my baby is made of cakes, it's not in there

"hungry vag"?

heh

Bwaaaahhhhhhhhhhh I don't want to do any more packing of boxes!!!

giggling loudly at "hungry vag", may have just let a little bit of wee out...

Thanks bess but like you I am not due until the weekend, possibly after...(god knows when really). so this week I will be mostly peeing on sticks. Oh, and cleaning furiously for the impending arrival of my parents this weekend.

Pee with me bess, it aint over till the red tsunami reaches the shores of our hungry vags (?)!

Just managed to waste a large part of my day on this MN thread Have cheered up a bit.

Where the buggery bollox IS everyone??

I'm here, feeling menstrual 'n' miserable. Think everyone is going through a low stage at the mo. Hopefully we'll all cheer up when weewee brings us our orphans

I have some BESHpiration for us: got chatting to a woman I met today. She had an adorable 10 month old son (I asked). As I cooed over him, she said 'If you want kids, don't leave it till you're 39 like I did - motherhood is VERY tiring!'. I told her I was 36 - cue 5 mins of her not believing me (just felt like getting that in, smug, smug) - and for some reason, blurted out that I'm a bit worried about conceiving at my age. She then said not to worry as she got pg virtually straightaway and was morbidly obese at the time. She also said she lost 4 stone from breastfeeding alone (she was still obese, mind). Hang on, is that BESHpiration or really frustrating?

So there we have a super-BESH getting updiffed against the odds. And it proves Ski's Drs are arseholes - Ski, you are not fat. Whereas this woman was (is) and she got knocked up. Keep on hassling the twats!

Hey feministas, wish you could come back me up in this beef Im having, but unless you're local to my neck of the woods you probably cant see the thread, it's a Mumsnet Local one.

I'm attending a hearing on Thursday night to try and stop a lapdancing club from opening in my (residential) area and this woman has just defended lap dancing based on a bunch of ignorant assumptions and flimsy stereotypes. I'm quoting Object at her.

"Back, sexism, back!"

Also, the best bit about current BABY FAIL is that I got pissed as a newt all weekend long.

You unleash hell, Skates! I was part of a group that tried - sadly unsuccessfully - to stop a Hooters being given permission to open up UNDER a block of apartments that housed mainly professional single women (not all all insulting... or scary if you're coming home at night and are confronted by groups of drunk blokes high on female objectification!) in the nearest city.

Does the idiot objecting to it live near the proposed site, too? Hmmm, why do I think not? If all else fails, call her a slag and pull her hair!

So, if you have baby girl in the future, will you be buying her one of those infamous kiddies pole-dancing pole gifts?

BTW, D3 of babyfail but STILL no blood, just chunky bits of 'tar'. Truly delightful.

This proposed lap dancing club is opposite an infant school, yards away from an all girls' high school and surrounded by houses.

Makes me want to punch greedy pimps businessmen in the face, really.

The only pole my daughters will be allowed near will be friends from Kraków!

Sorry about BABYFAIL dude.

Talk about a prime recruitment area! Hope you stop 'em, the swines.

Grrr, the tar has turned to the erstwhile R2D2 himself. A few days respite and then several weeks of madness begin again

Turned into, I mean.

I hate such clubs, but I feel men are as misled as we wimmin oft are - if they don't "enjoy" said clubs then people assume there's something wrong with them.

My Judgey Pants are well and truely on wrt women who claim to pole-dance for "fitness". FFS, how many men do you see at the gym asking the receptionist if they can enrol in pole-dancing classes for fitness? Sorry, but it really makes me angry - you want to get fit? lift weights and run, don't gyrate around a fucking pole in heels thinking you're sexy. OK, I could go on for hours so I'll stop.

Good news from me - I nearly passed out during my 7am Body Pump class. Got halfway through the biceps set and then just collapsed. Cue gym staff running in with a glass of liquid energy (coke). That gave me an extra 2 minutes energy then I buggered off at the start of shoulders. One of the staff came to check that I'd not passed out in the shower. Spoke to my instructor once I was suitably dressed and she said I'm not the first and won't be the last. But it's not like me... Oh well - that's another reason to ramp up my 2WOOFL.

Scorpette Having been advised by my dietician to try a "lighter life" style of eating to lose the weight I read the papers only to see "woman dies on lighter life". Last time I saw her she told me I only ate 1100 cals a day and so my metabolism was fucked. I've worked really hard to get this up to nearly 2000 - and she wants me to drop to 500. Erm... won't that fuck my metabolism more? Oh... and if my hair falls out - how the fucking fuckety fuck is a baby supposed to stay?

Skihorse - are you really overweight or is it muscle? I can't believe someone who exercises as much as you needs to diet, what is wrong with these people?

Bessie It's both. I am incredibly muscley - but at the same time there's no denying my arse. But the BMI is biased in this manner, a lot of my friends are professional athletes and nearly all fall in to the "overweight/obese" category. You know, it's like rugby players are considered obese, Sylvester Stallone in his younger days was "obese". Alberto Tomba was 15 stone when he won the Men's downhill skiing gold cup. The fat cunt.

heh. Well, I have a bmi of 22 which is apparently fine although I am definitely fat and flabby. But I have no muscle and because I have a small frame I can wear size 12. so I'm not classed as overweight. it is a very stupid measuring system because I could clearly do with losing a couple of stone.

I hear big bums are healthy, anyway, so there's no need to deny your arse.

pff! And that is where it's bollocks! When I'm in a size 12 I'm 13 stone with a BMI of 30! The pricks.