Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic hic>

[extremesitting]

OOOh - Hope this'll do! Emergency!

scorp I wore over-sized men's pyjamas for about 6 months, and had no idea as to the state of any body hair south of my belly button. But I was in a wheelchair and unable to dress myself. (And I want to do this again?)

GAY IMMIGRANT WEDDINGS CAUSE CANCER CARNAGE FOR TAXPAYERS

Poor Pony! Was it SPD, may I ask? Sounds awful, you poor thing I shall imagine you as an insufferably cool Katharine Hepburn type totally rocking those men's pjs

I'm all au naturale south of the border, honey. I think waxing and all that is a load of unnecessary nonsense that makes women ashamed of normal, boring stuff like body hair (apologies to anyone who loves being a shaven raver but it ain't for me, that's all) so that's something for midwives in my future to look forward to

Before anyone imagines me with a giant comedy merkin, I'm the world's most pathetically unhairy adult and don't even need to shave my legs - so perhaps if I was hairier, I might have a different opinion!

But anyway - if I wake up tomorrow and there's no sign of R2D2 then he's officially late and it's POAS time! Will update after have gone mental with joy/grief/delete as applicable Send me loads of best wishes and good luck violence (avoiding the pelvic area!)!!! [gron]

OOPS! Forgot:

RECYCLING BINS IN WHEELCHAIRS ARE FORCING BRITAIN'S KIDS TO BECOME GAY!!!

Just checkin in to see if scorp has POASed yet...... Off out for the weekend shortly so do get on with it!

HOUSE PRICE SLUMP AS 'HUMAN RIGHTS' SPARE DIRTY NETS HOUSEWIFE, 39, SIX LASHES.

Permed brunette Jill Slattern, 41, blamed the filthy drapes on the 'credit crunch' meaning that the water in the house was diverted to bathing her 3 children and cooking. A Neighbourhood Watch spokesman confirmed that Slattern had recently been made redundant from her £120k job as a management analyst just after her husband, a paedophile, was killed in a drive-by shooting and was clearly finding budgeting for the necessities a problem. He went on to say 'We don't usually condone single mothers on benefits and find it difficult to understand how any woman could let her nets become so soiled. However, under the circumstances we have decided to be understanding of her needs and therefore we have imposed a forced sterilisation to ensure no more innocent child victims suffer as a result of this woman's selfish acts, and we have also allowed her access to the well at the 5-mile post.
Jill Slattern is 45.

cunts
Body hair: Jailbait is of that particular age group who are not aware that women have pubic hair. Imagine his surprise! He says he likes it - it's just that he didn't really know anything about bar the odd picture from a German speciality mag. Now that's shocking I feel - that men/women of his generation are like this. The men don't know anything about it except for "it's minging" (much like condoms) and the poor girls feel they need to shave every last hair lest they ming.

I shave my legs if I'm wearing a skirt, but if it's a busy week I'll wear jeans or trousers every day to the office.

Scorpette I'm most envious of your stylist past - I would love more time/money/energy to experiment with a "look" although I've always felt uncomfortable doing so. I blame my mum for this too - we had no money in the 70s and yet still she read Elle...

Another epic POAS fail! (hint for Longwee - I am not an early riser!) Boots cheapy test says NO. And yet period is late, there's not a single pre-period sign like I've always had and I have a plethora, a bloody plethora I tells ye, of updiff signs. And I just feel pg.

Me and the TYF have that theory I worried about on here t'other day: Most pg tests work on the basis that women ovulate @D14 and therefore you're going to be at least 12 days pg when you test, usually more. Whereas I OVed on D20-21 and will only be 8 days pg at the most. So maybe it's too early to get a result, despite period being due? AAAAAARGH! I can't stand another hour week of batshit crazy knicker 'n' loo roll checking!

Ski - that's my point exactly about pubic hair 'n' all that; all these young 'uns thinking female body hair is disgusting, weird, abnormal, unsanitary and repulsive, etc. Ridiculous! Having also worked with young people a lot, there's also an alarming trend for both boys and girls now thinking natural breasts are gross and ugly

About the fashion obsession - my parents were totally right-on socialists when I was growing up and my Mum was v utilitarian in her dress or downright scruffy (was a Greenham Common woman for a bit), but when I was very little, she always looked amazing and handmade me beautiful designer-inspired stuff and my Gran was always a total glamourpuss (5" shocking pink stilettos at 80? Why the hell not?!) so I think it was inevitable I'd be style-fixated, due to both the inspiration and a backlash!

I WANT A POSITIVE POAS TEST! WAAAAAAH!

What's everyone else up to this weekend?

TEEN MOTHERS SELL DRUGS TO GHOST OF QUEEN MUM!

Scorpette How long is your luteal phase normally? It should be around 14 days - but yes, if your normal lp is only 8 days then it's going to take some time for the hcg to kick in. However - I'm sure you were feeling pregnant more than a week ago... which if you only OV'd 8 days ago is a bit off.

Well I didn't wake up until 11 and have an appointment to get face plucked & waxed at half four so I've bummed up my day. Tomorrow I'm going on a 4/5 hour ride which should be fun. I need to dig out my saddlecloth with picnic pockets & make up a picnic.

Ski - no need to point out the finer details of my insanity, I am well aware of them . Yeah, I was feeling a bit weird a few weeks ago, which was after what should've been ovulation and I was thinking it might be updiffedness BUT I know realise was probably getting weird feelings because ov was delayed. I normally do get clear signs of ov around D12-14, so to do so D20-21 was an anomaly. I was very emotional and upset when I should've ov-ed as normal (ironically cos having hysteria I'd never get pg!) and I think I delayed it with the stress. The feelings I've been having since last Sunday have been very strong and distinct and like nothing I've ever really had and realise now I was really daft thinking might've been pg before

I didn't really know what the luteal phase was but have just looked it up at wikipedia and see now that although my usual L P is @ 14-16 days, it's only been about 8-9 days since ov and therefore only 8-9 days of luteal phase (is that right?). So yep, it will be too early to POAS. Arsebiscuits.

Picnic sounds good. Weather just turned Aurumnal here last weekend so no picnics here. Don't forget to pack your arsebiscuits!

Morning all. Still no RTOD and now 5 days 'late'. Don't want to waste any more pg tests though as clearly I am not frickin' pg! Or maybe I haven't even ovulated yet? Maybe I should do an ovulation test instead? Who knows what the hell is going on inside me.

scorp Yes, it was SPD. Described by various people as worst case they had ever seen, etc. I had some pretty low times, to put it mildly. But yes, please imagine the Katharine Hepburn thing. That's exactly how it was.

ski SOOO of your riding picnic plans. Can I join you in my dreams? After the SPD they said I would never ride again, but 2 weeks ago I did! Well, I sat on one of the Riding for the Disabled ponies and walked slowly in a circle. But in my fantasy scenario I'll join you tomorrow and we can gallop through the forest and leap 5 ft walls on our handsome steeds. (After foiling the pony smugglers and having a smashing picnic of course.)

Ponymum Jolly good! I've packed some Ginger beer and we're going to stay at old Aunt Jenny's cottage. She has some suspicious new neighbours who flash lights across the estuary at night!

Actually it could be quite fun, we're riding to Belgium, stopping for farm ice-cream on the way and traversing a river. The first time I crossed a river on my fiery steed I was grateful for my 10m swimming badge.

Have you tried side-saddle? Kinder on your hips. A lot of people like riding my nag because she's very narrow-withered - you don't need to open your pelvis to ride her.

skihorse Whizzo! I'll bring the giant sticky currant buns. Did I mention that my pony can tap out morse code with his hooves? That's sure to be essential on this adventure.

I have tried side saddle in the past including jumping, which is fun! But it wouldn't suit my current condition as my pelvis is still separated and not aligned at the symphysis pubis, so uneven weight bearing is actually the worst thing for it. Basically I need to keep up with the pilates and take it slowly as far as getting back into riding. But yes, a narrow horse is definitely preferred. If you happen to come across a quiet kind horse, close to the ground, with sturdy cob legs, narrow body, deep girth, soft mouth, three perfect paces, trained to medium level dressage, which hunts quietly at the back in a snaffle all day, and is a calm willing jumper, will you let me know? (Sorry, that's an in joke for horsey types. This highly sought after horse does not exist except in Horse Wanted adverts.)

Um... actually my mare just about fulfills all of those except she's 17.2hh so step-ladder is required. I've been getting compliments in the new yard all week about how amazed they are that she'll plod along at the back, lead the gang at the front and will march past anything making the others go boggly-eyed and won't push to the front. We were out last night and one of the other nags shied right in to her, she just carried on plodding along. I love her. She's shit at morse code although she's fluent in Russian, Dutch, French and English which isn't bad for 9.

Since I lost my confidence I have decided that even 15.2hh is too high.

Argh maybe no riding tomorrow - there's been a bust up at the yard whilst they sort out the pecking order - so I'm off up in a mo to see if it's just cosmetic or whether she's unfit to ride. Stoopid nag.

Serious question time: Due to our advanced age - have any of you considered the possibility of having a child with Downs (or similar) - what have you and your partner discussed/decided? jailbait and I like to think we've the courage to go ahead with the pregnancy - in fact we've decided we would not have the fluid (sorry can't remember the name) test at 20 weeks if we have high odds because my mental health won't tolerate another 20 weeks of worry. We're also confident that we will love this child "no matter what" and have had encouraging experiences with SN children/people in the past.

dunno dunno dunno is a tricky one - I would give it serious consideration - a friend of mine had a down's boy and despite the numerous problems and worry he is an adorable child. Homme however often sees imperfection as intolerable (begs the question of why he is with me) so is unlikely to see the positives in the situation. However, he has surprised me before and he may do it again. He surprised me this morning, but luckily he used lubrication

I don't think I could cope with a child with a disability. I will probably have all the tests recommended, and take a decision then.

trog you are 100% bum-obsessed - you're going to LOVE the toddler years you poo-driven loony. In fact, rather than a baby - have you considered adopting a manure heap?

ski DH and I have discussed it and decided we would go ahead anyway and not have the invasive test, as it wouldn't change our decision to proceed with the pregnancy. So pretty much the same as your position.

I am now officially bonkers. I went through a mad wobble in the middle of the day and decided to take a pg test AND an ov test at the same time! I am now hiding behind the sofa as I am sure the men in the white coats are on their way to get me.

It is indeed a tricky one. Have worked with disabled adults in the past and although it was rewarding, I must be honest and admit that seeing what the parents went through (it was usually the mums - so many men seem to leave when the kid is born/becomes disabled, or leave their partner to do everything ) did make me think 'I couldn't do that'.

Also, TYF's Uncle had Down's (died in 2001). Whilst he loved his Uncle and got on well with him (they used to watch old Dr Who series together all the time), he knows what a strain it was for his grandparents and the whole family (quick back story: his Granddad was a widower with a toddler who then married TYF's Gran. Their first child together was Down's (she was @22). She then had 8 more kids! So she was bringing up 10 kids, one of whom was disabled and couldn't speak or eat properly, as there wasn't specialised help around back then (he was born in @ 1946/47). Hmm, praps this is why MIL has such skanky habits - her mother had not time to teach them stuff like hygiene. Just asked him opinion and he says he'd leave it up to me. Helpful

I'd be in an absolute quandry - I wouldn't want a child with Down's, I wouldn't want an abortion (don't worry, am not a pro-lifer) and I wouldn't give a child of mine up for adoption. I guess it's one of those things you really couldn't answer unless faced with it. And I do hope I never am.

Incidentally, there is a new test for Down's n ting you can have that is completely safe; think it's just a blood test. My friend had to bully her hospital into doing it, but they did in the end. All was fine for her, btw.

PS Please don't think I'm a monster!

Trog - any truth to the rumours that you are, in fact, married to Mr Hanky?

just a quick visit as working from hand held device while drinking beer and watching football with friends.

one of my best friends has a downs boy and it changed her life. she was devastated at first (no warning) but of course now loves him to bits. she was in her 20s so I see it as a risk we all take. think i'd take it as it comes. at 30 i doubt i'll be offered amniosentisis. there are other conditions baby could have - you can't plan for every eventuality. so i am hoping to take things as they come. i suppose you never know how you'll react...

sorry scorp - hope your late ov theory os right.

scissor kicks and mojitos all round

Am now worried potential baby will be disabled.

Can I add being a heinous spot-beast to my list of symptoms?

Scorpette Any news yet? What's with your dates? LP? The spot sounds beautiful - any chance of a fb photo?