Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic hic>

[extremesitting]

OOOh - Hope this'll do! Emergency!

longwee hahah

It's Monday morning. I need warning before tales of home undercarriage surgery. Was almost sick on my keyboard.

vag I'm a bit suspicious of OPKs, purely because you'd have to pee on so many to confirm that you're ovulating if your cycle is so long. Am currently temping which is fascinating a bit of a bind, but I like being able to see lovely graphs of what my body is doing. Anyway, temping might give you more of an idea of what your body's doing before you start literally pissing money away and torturing yourself because it's really easy to miss the lh surge.

(ooh, look at me, answering a proper question)

Um, it's the equivalent of Monday morning, obviously. Bank Holidays - they're great, but they totally screw my sense of time.

Right, I am off. Wish me luck.

Mind you, I've bared my bits to that many people these days I'm practically dropping my pants in the street.

Cos - that made me laugh so much I nearly lost control

cosmos I get this about twice a year from shaving. Stick some savlon on it, drink some meths then take a pair of tweezers to it

bloody buggery. she doesn't think it's a hair, she thinks it's some sort of cyst (not Bartholins as is in wrong place), need to see gp.

Trog that's what we tried yesterday, but nothing doing, there's too much skin on top, when TGO suggested the scissors, I put a stop to the whole thing.

Are you describing your SWI Cosmosis?

Lol yes!

See, this is what happens when you hit the BOD, you start to rot. My fanjo is actually falling apart.

lol @ Cosmosis

Yes, tits will shrivel up and fall off next. Breast feed? At our age? I don't think so - we'll just have shrivelled sacks we fasten into our waistbands.

At least in our advanced age we're not embarassed or squeamish about such things. When I was 18 I'd have rather died than let my man-friend inspect my fanjo for rot. At this stage in life I'm more "it feels like I've got a massive spot on my arse - can you see anything sweetie?" and "urgh... my ring's on fire". Who said romance is dead?

What do you get a 24 year old for his birthday night out? I was thinking a Happy Meal and a sit on Ronald McDonalds lap.

Yeah, that sounds about right. or perhaps somewhere slightly posher, you know, the kind of place where you can colour in the table mat?

Did i scare you all off with my tales of fanjo rot??

It's your talk of posh restaurants that provide crayons. Petrus-Shmetrus, I say...

Poor Cosmo! Haven't scared me off! I've just been having one of those random days.

OH went for SIAC results today. It appears he is not a jaffa after all, which is a relief. Doctor told him that with both our results taken into consideration, there is no obvious reason why it just ain't happened yet.

Have mixed feelings. Relieved to a point but also wondering where the heck we have been going wrong! All that's left to do is to keep ploughing away I guess. Luckily with so much going on job hunting wise I am suitably distracted, but for the occasional snotty wet face look

The clinical Summary was this: MNSC below normal threshold due to reduced sperm concentration and normal forms.

I cannot quite get my head around the negatives in that sentence, so if anyone could translate I would be much obliged. He was really quite chuffed with himself when he got back, and as I said.. the doctor didn't seem the least bit concerned.... WTF?

Have just googled semen analysis and I now have a slightly better idea of what that means, and judging by the figures it does make sense. The figures are so very slightly different than the ideal I guess they have to point it out.

Bah! I have plenty medically type friends who I could ask about this, but obviously I can't! Really wish the 'ol bugger woulda let me come along to the appointment

Hello! So glad I can get on the interwebs now... when everyone else is at home and not so bothered

Cosmo - your delightful boil-thingummy has certainly been a real treat just after I've eaten As another Northerner, am with Trig in that I'd have at it with tweezers (I have tweezerman costly ones - I think I could just about perform brain surgery with them, they're that sharp and nifty). But, erm, our advice isn't necessarily proper medical advice.

extreme - I dunno whether it's yay or boo to your man's results. Slightly below normal sounds a teeny bit worrying, but it also sounds like it's not enough to really worry about. You're prolly right in that it just means you'll have to keep SWIing Hmm.

Well, I POASed. Epic fail. Even trying to draw on another red line with a red biro didn't work. But R2D2 not due till Saturday, and even though it was a 6 days early test, it says only 62% of updiffed wimminz will get a positive. Also, if I did ovulate last week and the magic happened, then it'd be too early for owt to show up on a test. Daft twat that I am. Am not worried, as I was squinting at it whilst feeling sick, having powerful uterine cramps (oooh, get me with me proper terminology, like!) and wondering why my breasts have gone all swollen and a bit veiny , so I'll test again this weekend if knickers are unblemished. Also, it's only 'the rustiness' which is due this weekend, so if that's not the true start of R2D2, then the test was entirely too early. Tesco POAS tests are meant to be the best, aren't they? Cheap and I live round the corner from a Tesco Mothership, so all is not lost. I do feel 'different' though...

Meh, am probably full with madness, not with child, but it's nice to be thinking it might have happened, for a while...

PS longwee - you still trying out for the Olympic pooing squad or are you feeling better? Poor thing. We've got plenty of wine corks hanging about here if you think they'd help...

Well, haven't you all been dabbling in delightful subject matters today, while I've been denied access thanks to now sharing double office-type set up with another (she reports to me, but it would hardly be the best example to set) Sister in law due here soon, so getting my fix while I can.

Cosmo I had a lump like that few years ago. Pea sized thing in my groin. after about six weeks I went to the doc, had to whip my bits out, legs akimbo while the poor embarrassed soul (he looked about 12) had a feel around. I had to pretty much place his fingers around it. soooo wrong. He said he had no idea and to go back if it got bigger or anyfink such like. Two days later it disappeared. Bloody typical. Hope yours does the same though.

longwee Arse any cooler yet? Shall we set out a rubber ring in your palace throne?

ski Hope he gets a good toy in his Happy Meal, should save you buying a gift.

Scorp definitely too early. If you think your body truly feels different, sure you'll get the right result this weekend. Then we can all kick the shit out of you in a jealous rage

Been peeing a lot today. Left tit hurt briefly. and a coffee made me feel sick. 2Woofl, here we come!

"had to whip my bits out, legs akimbo while the poor embarrassed soul (he looked about 12) had a feel around. I had to pretty much place his fingers around it."

Must... resist... joking... that... this... is... same... as... first... date... with... TYF...

(Not really; he brings new meaning to the phrase 'it's always the quiet ones' )

BTW - no kicking in the pelvic region, remember. Or my face. Not the face!

Enjoy 2woofling - have you start attributing really random shit, like your hair looking a bit frizzy to being updiffed yet?

Disclaimer: I refuse to believe curly could ever have frizzy hair!

PS

PPS Hehehe

scorp.

Christ, if my hair goes smooth I'll know I'm 'diffed. Pregancy is supposed to give me an arthritis remission, but wouldn't it be amazing if I could have frizz remission! You're getting my hopes up now...

You could make a fortune selling your pg FJ as a rival to Frizz Ease!

Did I go too far there?

PS re: the arthritis.

The sun has gone down on CD33 and still no RTOD. This could be good news. Or this could mean that my cycle has returned to the dreaded 45 - 49 days. I think the latter is more likely. BUT... I really thought I ovulated 2 weeks ago. However (big disclaimer here) this is based on my very limited knowledge of how to recognise ovulation. Still waiting for delivery of the Clever Book That Will Reveal All.

great idea scorp, Let's take it to the dragon's den (ooh we could sell it in the "magic" shop at Jizzney World)

pony in my book, no show of RTOD must be a good thing. Hope your book arrives soon though (mine doesn't have enough on TTC, good old Miriam Stoppard or whatever her name is).

Until tomorrow Gin Palace lovelies (chucks stink bomb in before slamming door]

Scorps Good luck with another test - it's still all sounding promising!

Ponymum Good news about no RTOD. I think I know the book you're referring to and I decided not to get a copy. I'm sure all the information is very useful, but you're not stupid - you know which hole it should go in, you're off the crack and have stopped living on a diet of cherry coke and fizzy cola bottles - do you really need to turn in to the sort of woman who gropes her cervix 15 times a day? I fear those books can just wind you up into a greater frenzy.

Curly Well you can have my hair if you like. It's straight and does not do wave never mind curl. Perms are on their way back in my my hairdresser told me on saturday "noo skeeeee your 'air is flat, not ovaaal, no curl" (he's Italian). Bah. Having said this, yes, I did actually find myself buying a pair of straighteners.

extremesitting Have you put him in Zinc tablets yet? they're supposed to do wonders for swimmers.