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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic hic>

982 replies

extremesitting · 26/08/2009 14:35

OOOh - Hope this'll do! Emergency!

OP posts:
Scorpette · 31/08/2009 13:11

FUCKSTICKS! Well, go find it yerselves...

skihorse · 31/08/2009 13:11

Scorpette for the love of god - just POTFS!

You can take it any time of day - in fact the hcg is produced in the morning so if you've not peed for a few hours now is as good a time as any.

jailbait is 24 tomorrow and to think - when I met him he was just a boy...

I'm feeling "lucky" this month and am due to ovulate weds but have lots of FFJ right now so am prepared to up my game to the A-game a few days early - he knows he's on daily duty for the next week or so anyway. Well he's buggering off back to the UK for a fortnight so I get to spend the 2WOOFL going mad on my own - although without him there I'll be too busy to worry which in some respects is good but I may have to widdle on my own stick.

Scorpette · 31/08/2009 13:35

Woman, is your desire for me to POAS cos you're scared for my mental health if I wait any longer... or cos you're bored and wanna know? I'm determined to hold out till at least Thurs (for that, read: in a few hours).

Aw, Happy Birthday tomorrow to Jailbait! Does he do whatever the Dutch equivalent of GCSEs are next year? Hey, that would be great if you got updiffed on his birthday! Forget the dates, go with the FFJ and get SWIing, pronto!
Incidentally, when I do POAS, I will try and remember to do it myself, not get TYF to do it for me. I test in a beaker, anyway - disposable and less margin for error (and piss-covered hands)...

skihorse · 31/08/2009 13:54

Scorpette Bah, you've rumbled me - but yes, as your BESH mates we have the right to i) know and ii) dictate when you POAS. Although it could be interesting to watch you go ga-ga over the next couple of days.

extremesitting · 31/08/2009 14:03

Just visited the "AIBU" thingy. Felt personally offended at the "lifts bottle opener/ opens bottle/ pours wine angle". I suspect she was speaking about us...

I thought I'd put my opinion on here instead. You know how it is.... some threads are so ALL about chitchat and my response might otherwise be ignored....

If someone has started a new thread with a question I can relate to or help with, then I do. The Gin Palace is a different thing altogether. We mix hard facts with hysteria. And knowing you lot are as mental as me with just as random thoughts or neuroses makes me feel better. I don't have that support anywhere in RL (aside from long suffering OH who just says "it'll be fine"). You lot have lifted me out of one horrible depression and have managed to keep me afloat since. I'm really grateful for that, so if its a bit more chatty or needy than a scientific question then I am sorry but there's plenty of space for us all on here. YABVU.

Having said that, I have started to have palpitations about being on holidays for two weeks and potentially having to spend a further week on my return catching up on the beshlovin...

OP posts:
extremesitting · 31/08/2009 14:08

Scorp The symptoms ARE impressive. You also do not drink or smoke so the Gods may well favour you. Go POAS and put us all out of our misery!

Someone's gotta get up-diffed this month, an' forshiz that ain't gonna be me

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longwee · 31/08/2009 14:12

Scorps sounds very promising.....

I was planning to POAS on Saturday if RTOD hadn't arrived by then - but have just remembered we missed our window this month so I was supposed to not be obsessing - oops. However I convinced myself that we might have just made it (depending on how long spunk/eggs live) - plus I have sore boobs and 'feelings' in the wombular area - yes I know they are RTOD signs but I may as well jump onto the lunacy bus...

Ponymum · 31/08/2009 14:32

I also visited the AIBU thread. I have only recently stumbled into the gin palace, so how is it that I already feel 'safer' posting my opinion on here that on the AIBU thread? Here's my view:

  1. There are chatty long-running threads all over MN, not just TTC.
  2. My old ante natal group thread is still running and we are a bunch of cackling hens with detailed chats on everything from she-wee usage to violent partners. Not exactly on topic, so shoot us.
  3. Yes, it is obvious that there are established friendships in this thread - but surely that is why we are here? This is soul-destroying stuff month after month and you can't go on about it to people you know in RL.
  4. Everyone here has been very friendly to me AND I am learning loads about ttc.

So there, boo sucks, YABU.

Oh, and scorp, thanks for the sugar lump. Neigh snort snort whinny.

skihorse · 31/08/2009 14:48

You're both so right. I have nobody I can talk to IRL about this shiz - well no, that's not 100% true - I do have a friend who's TTC but she keeps saying things like "It will happen" - and I need to keep at least one foot on the ground and it helps when you guys say "you whored throughout your 20s - if you can remember that you were so gin-addled and the only thing you got out of bed for was to find your lighter!"

I will ask scientific questions of you guys - at least ONE of you must know plus we've got Cheggers who knows all about proper drugs & fertility & stuff. We've got a variety of dildocam users and between the men we've spunked pints whilst thinking about hot nurses. What we don't know - ain't worth knowing!

extremesitting · 31/08/2009 14:52

So put that in yer pipe an smoke it!

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extremesitting · 31/08/2009 14:58

I've had a brain wave! Why don't we all POAS!!! Even the ones that are updiffed (thus ensuring at least one stick with the right amount of lines or words)! We can do it at the same time on the same day (world clock taken into consideration) and then we can all rejoice/ wallow together.

Mass stick-peeing. Perhaps I should pitch it to the Beeb?

"My big decision: To Pee or not to Pee: that is the question"

OP posts:
skihorse · 31/08/2009 15:03

I'm not POAS because I haven't even ovulated yet - I'll just dig one out of the bin.

extremesitting · 31/08/2009 15:06

Fair enough Ski I've got two hopes of being updiffed this month myself - Bob Hope and no hope. I'll dig out a selction for any other beshes who already know its pointless...

We can add the tension/drama in the edit...

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idealcamel · 31/08/2009 15:11

Am going nowhere near a stick for at least two weeks! Can't handle the disappointment.

AIBU thread sums up a bit of what I don't like about MN; it's not always a very safe space to talk. It's actually quite a passive-agressive manoevre to go and post the bitchy on another board. If you want a "proper" ttc thread, just start one. Frankly I'm not looking for answers; you lot can't tell me if I'm pregnant or not. It's just nice to know that others are descending into madness during this time.

longwee · 31/08/2009 15:18

Extreme - the beeb (or some other UK channel) already did that a few years ago. They had about 20 couples who were all trying to conceive and reviewed their lifestyles, checked the fella's spunk etc. Then each month they all stood in a circle and did a live test - (dipped stick in pot of wee, not live squatting over loo and weeing on fingers ) and each got their results. Cue on-air breakdown of devastated couples still not getting the result they want. That's entertainment...

skihorse · 31/08/2009 15:29

longwee - god that's awful - it's bad enough getting a negative... without being on TV with "period acne"!

idealcamel I can't disagree with that. Some of the things people worry about... where's that "rolls eyes" emoticon?

I did have two +ve preggo sticks but I binned them in a rage when the WD40 uterus thing kicked in.

I'm getting ovary pains - either that or I need a good fart.

I moved my horse to a new stables yesterday and tonight I'm going up for a ride and to "make friends" with some of the others - I hope I don't fall off and make a total arse of myself.

Scorpette · 31/08/2009 15:30

Erm, yeah, cheers? You've been watching me go ga-ga* for the last couple of months, so what's a few more days, huh?

Is there a particular best time to POAS? I was going to test when I got home for work on Thursday, which would be between 5.30-6pm. Could this be too late? I work Tues and Thurs and if I tested before then and it was positive, I'd be overexcited and tell everyone, which I don't want to.

*As in mad, not Lady Gaga. I'm not an overrated chick with a dick.

skihorse · 31/08/2009 15:39

Scorpette Whilst this is not strictly chat - please allow me to blind you with my scientific knowledge - it should be FMU or SMU. Some swear by SMU. Just POTFS (in the morning).

Scorpette · 31/08/2009 15:54

That's weird - I actually pressed 'post' on that last comment about an hour and a half ago. Feckin' wifi connection.

Ladies, forget what other daft bints are saying, we know we've got a good thing going oooooon here Not only do we give each other info, support and appalling levels of violence where (in)appropriate, we are all brainy and superhot so if it all goes wrong, we're going to run off together and live in a crazy BESH lez commune and go on to rule the world! Possible.

As others say, you can't talk about this stuff with people in RL - it'd kill them with boredom before they rang for 'the men in white coats'. I do consider you guys friends - in this day and age, the types of friendship you can find and maintain are very varied and I heart anyone I find a real vibe with. I met TYF via the magic of teh interwebs (not a dating site, before you ask), so I know it's a good way for like-minded souls to find each other. As for that other woman, she seems to think it's a bad thing for people to have long-running conversations and friendships on MN, like it's somewhere you're only supposed to dip in and out of for info. Well, you can use it like that, and I use other threads that way, but don't moan cos some people get more involved, sheesh!

extreme, you're giving birth to Bob Hope? I'm rather sceptical about reincarnation, but each to their own. Now, your 'mass POAS' idea - that's a good 'un!

Scorpette · 31/08/2009 15:56

Is FMU 'first morning urine'? What's SMU then? Wha'? Gah, it's hard enough remembering which hole is the right one as it is!

Scorpette · 31/08/2009 16:00

Second morning urine?

extremesitting · 31/08/2009 16:08

LMAO at overrated chick with a dick

Actually got a little bit sick in my mouth at the reality of that programme existing longwee

I have toilet issues, so although they didn't have to pee on camera, I am still disturbed by the thought of a cup of my wee going into the family archives

And I would probably have to shoot myself in the head if I was stood next to another happy couple who got the result I wanted. I would probably lunge at them, stealing said stick as if it were the golden ticket...

OP posts:
Ponymum · 31/08/2009 16:25

Agree that programme sounds horrendous. I can't really believe it exists.

While we're talking about accronyms, I need someone to help me decipher the following. I didn't want to appear stupid so I have been guessing what they might mean based on context so far. This is what I have come up with from reading the conversation on this thread - please tell me if my guesses are wildly wrong.

SWI = sex with intent? shove willy in?
FFJ = fantastic fanny juice? feeling frisky jitters?
2WOOFL = 2 weeks of overanalytical fucking lunacy?

Am I close? (Genuinely need help as I honestly don't know.)

skihorse · 31/08/2009 16:35

ponymum v v close. They'll do - you get the gist.

Scorpette I too met jailbait online and not on a dating site. I've met a lot of friends online - when you move around a lot and are difficult it's the best way.

triggerhappybaby · 31/08/2009 17:25

I am back from camping in Devon. With the heaviest RTOD known on this earth - not desperately convenient. Fortunately was camping in my friends' field directly opposite their lovely thatched cottage so it was semi-convenient to 'sort mesen out' like.

It has approximated a normal period though, despite being somewhat hefty. This is good. This means I am Back To Normal.

Am sad to read about all the strife, my poor ickle lambs. Have spent the weekend with two of the most adorable 6-18 month olds plus 2 x 3yr olds and a 5 yr old and I hardly flinched at all. Progress, I think. Still not sure i could handle one full time though - soooo much faff involved...