Emmsys Onwards & Upwards part VII - hand-holders and hair-strokers welcome!

[cupcakefairy]

Shiny new thread for us

The race is on for the first BFP!

I'm in big pants and medium pants at the same time! Surely I don't need that many pairs of pants!

Moon have a big hug from me. I hope you don't stay away too long, I'll miss you.

Barbie ok we'll let you stay in medium pants to keep MLS company for a bit! I know what you mean about the long long wait from the 12 week scan till the 16 week midwife appointment, especially as most of my symptoms have gone now, I feel perfectly normal 95% of the time. I have no bump either (just the occasional pretend one made by my digestive system - too much wind!). I went out on saturday night and I bought a dress to go with leggings and high heels to wear for this night out weeks ago. I though by 16 weeks I'd look pregnant as the dress was quite fitted. No not a glimpse! With high heels on you automaticaly hold in your bum and stomach - I looked less pregnant than all the none pregnant people!! I did get all excited cos I thought I'd put 2 pounds on but they've disappeared again now - maybe I imagined the whole thing!

GG you're a size 8 right? Well you are not going to show as quickly as someone like me who is a 14. It'll come.... how many times have you stood in front of the mirror sticking your tummy out to see what it'll look like??! You'll wake up one day & it'll be there, & then you'll have days when you get home from work & you'll be able to see that you've actually got bigger from the time you left home in the morning.

Don't quite now how I managed that with the list - stupidity perhaps??! I'll sort it out later.

waves to gg and mls good morning....

Im a size 8 too, the thing is some days i look huge but in the mornings i can breathe in and look pre baby..i know most of the bump is caused by eating and drinking throughout the day, tbh i like it and make sure i drink and eat lots in the morning so i look pregnant and not fat vain..me??? no never I think im just obessesing my way to week 16, only 2 more weeks to go, plus a few extra for my appt. gg does you belly sometimes ache? a bit like you have eaten way too much so you stomach aches from feeling full? I feel like that today, slightly uncomfortable....might just mean i need a poo though

oh MLS I'm so thrilled for you! made me so happy to see you join the ranks of the medium panters lots of sticky baby dust to you!

I've been bunked a little way too far down the list! I'm CD 23, still spotting Af wont come for another few days. So have all the joy of knowing this month wasn't the one whilst not being able to look forward to the next one yet . On the plus side, found out that my tendancy to spot for a week could be what is causing all the MCs and it's treatable...appointment with the specialist in 3 weeks and counting but I don't dare get my hopes up...

moon you took the words right out of my mouth I think Cardiff is meltdown city at the moment. I'm actually considering getting a dog because cats make rubbish baby substitutes .

jools you poor love, here's my hand to hold. let's follow 4everweebling's lead and wobble but not fall down

Firstly emmsy1 thank you for popping in with your happy ending Its lovely to hear.

mls speak of the devil! congrats, and take it very easy.

barbie and gracie sigh when I was a size 8 approx 9 years ago it took ages for me to show and even when I thought I was everyone else just laughed at me.
But don't worry cos soon you will look like a ship in full sail and people will be asking if its twins.

jools ach, mermaid slaps her flipper for her terrible memory. I am not one to talk but please don't lose hope, you are doing all the right things which is why it feels worse when our bodies let us down. Interesting about the folic acid though. You know I am going to mention those needles again too dontcha?

moon my heart aches for you and there are no words for that blackness except we are all here and understand weither we are in bursting, big, medium or no pants.xxx

4ever morning sunny lady Your day out with dh sounds lovely, something very romantic about lidos. Fingers crossed that the card is fine.xx

iggy Always a shame when dhs have their own means of propulsion can you not ground him? cover him in purple spots in the middle of the night so he thinks he is proper poorly and can't go away so you get to play nurse?? just little ideas.x

ds has lost his sunflower competition by miles, so many miles inches infact that even he had to admit defeat which is usually very hard for an 8 year old to do!

hoping x post ohhh really? I am so, so going to cross everything for your appointment. I know what you mean about trying not to get your hopes up but it sounds very positive. I have noticed that a few of us talk of spotting before af though and I have never experienced it myself but it does make you wonder....

Wow welcome back & congrats MLS.... Maybe I didnt stay away long enough!

Feel honoured to hear from the original Emmsy - trying v hard to take inspiration right now...

Think bumps get bigger each pg. No3 at 13 wks looked about 5m & never really lost it Its like a constant reminder cos still look pg now & used to be a lovely skinny 8.

Well the weeble is wobbling hard all over the place & crashed off the desk, to the floor, down the stairs & down the hill... Im out the running this month again... BFN last night.. Will confess that did one way to early on sun too so kinda knew but was trying to stay 4everhopeful... Feel desperately low & emotional, fighting tears, writing this & listening to workmates in desk opp planning what to buy for ex managers leaving/new baby, may as well just stick a knife in & twist it then add some salt & vinegar for good measure. Just want to curl up in a ball forever. I feel like a failure as a woman. I should be giving birth in 2 wks or celebrating a 1st birthday in 5wks. What is wrong with me - I just want to be a mum. Well major meltdown, conversation between workmates was just about what a baby boom its been here at work with my 3 pg colleagues & that they must be doing it to escape the imminent redundancy (exactly what Id hoped was gonna happen when I found out was pg on new yrs day this year). Cue me running to toilet fighting the tears to be confronted by said ex manager waddling out & smiling brightly, cue complete sobbing breakdown in loo.. I cant cope with this at all.. Im gonna be sectioned before Im pg at this rate...

4ever you cant be sectioned...how would you sneak dh in at the right time???? trying to cheer you up a little but bet its nots working eh???? um....knock knock..whos there? Nope still not working???
Barbie scratches her head (freaks when lots of hair falls out and wonders what she could do to make the weeble smile)

Calling all emmsys, come help me cheer up our little wonderwomenweeble....im failing misrebly on my own.

In the mean time here is a hug....

4ever deep breaths and hold our hands really hard. You are a weeble with a big flashing neon light on your head which says come gather round pregnant office ladies.

Aghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Clearly it is not bloody ok and it won't be ok for a little while longer but just hang on to what is good and strong.
Thinking of you heaps.xxx

MLS huge congrats - have missed you and am so pleased you have a BFP xx

emmsy thanks for sharing your happy story - does give me some hope.

barbie threading is fab - there is a place near bond street tube station that does drop in appointments - i go there for mine - obviously quite far for you!

mermaid is a bugger - may have to tie him to bed..

and this is a little something for hoping 4ever moon jools and cupcake and any other small panters... I'm not sure if you all feeling like this - but i am having some kind of crisis about being left behind by all the PG ladies on this thread - no offence to all the lovely wonderful people here who so so deserve to be PG - but am finding it a little hard to post at the mo with all the scans etc and I am left behind feeling like it will never happen for me. I don't want anyone to leave the thread or not talk about stuff - cos it's all fab - but I just can't really do it so much at the mo... Perhaps it's because we don't have any new recruits coming through? Just not sure... anyway - am just kind of explaining why am not osting quite so much.. but I will try to when am feeling happy - and I do feel fairly happy today xx

have to go out in a mo but maybe just maybe we need a little new thread for small panters? who can merrily skip along back to this one when they have that bfp clutched in their paws? just a thought?
iggy sums it up well, its nothing anyone does, dosn't do, everyone here knows all too well the paths we have all trod.

Just a thought anyway
lovya all.xx

new home!

Hope you dont mind i made a nice little home for you all, its in chat so no pressure for the bfp hope you dont stay away too long xxx

oh shit, the title of the thread didnt come out instead it took the first line of my message do you want me to change the name for you???

Oh Barbie you're very sweet & the corners of my mouth were turned upwards for a weeny bit but my lip wobbled & tears stung as I carried on reading yours Mermaids & Iggs lovely understanding messages, I couldnt cope without the support of you girls.. I been in loo about 30mins just crying, a lady here is doing IVF & desperate like me & broke down sobbing on her when she came in. Think I needed to release it instead of pretending being strong all the time...

Mermaid Im so torn about this subject - hear Iggs loud & clear - it is sometimes hard on here, but we did start this together, and the first response back from our lovely Barbie did make me smile, I LOVE the wonderweeble thing & its not like ex manager who aint got a clue, all the big panters know what this is like... I dont know that I could go elsewhere, Id feel unfaithful, although maybe when we are having bang head off door & scream days its prob hard for the big panters to hear too?

I dont know - I just know im a mess & my brain is confuddled, fried to a crisp and falling out my ears......... As for my heart, well there just aint words...

I'm sat here crying like the mad hormonal beast I have become, and my tears are happy tears for MLS....so so happy for you

oh x post barbie are we being evicted then...?

4ever im glad i made you half smile! I want you all to stay of course i do, prehapes you could use the other thread as some kind of weekend retreat, you know when things on here get a tad too much you at least will have another place to go too???? Maybe some people on here like iggy (igg correct me if im wrong!) would like new people to come through and join, someone who is in the same position as we all were back in the beginning, then it would be a natural progression to come back here. I know i could never leave, maybe if the bigger panters were to post more on the anti natal threads and less on here then it wouldnt be so much of a problem, who knows. There is no right or wrong. We must be one of the only threads covering such a range of situations, for that we are unique and something we should all be proud of. I know the bond we hold is far too strong not to come together again at some point xxxx

x post 4ever no you are not being evicted!!! hope the post above explains it

ps i only did a link to a new thread so we dont lose iggy and a few of the others....i know at least more other that would like a place to go until she is ready to come back here....

Hello everyone just a quick message as off to work in a bit and got to get ready!

So exciting to hear from emmsy I know it will happen for us all just will take some time amnd in the mean time we have mn

mls congratulations on your bfp x

4ever I kind of get how you feel found myself casting envious glances at somewone at work who is pregant thinking why her at not me- took me afew hours to get over it after I remembered the 4 mcs she had a few years back. I know each month with af coming is hard amd each month I wonder why I put myself through this but know that it will be worth it. Don't worry about the mini meltdowns your a long way from being sectioned it just shows how much you want a baby and how lucky it will be to havre you as a mum. Our babies will be erven more precious to us because of all our waiting and trying and hoping x

hmm - we dont want to keep upsetting the big panters, as Vjay says its happy tears only on here for all you happily pregnant big panted ladys. im sure you dont want to keep having to acknowledge our woes, im sure if i was pregnant & about to drop like I actually should be at the moment, Id want to ignore the mournful comments too. maybe its easier if we dissapear for a bit.

4ever dont goooooooooooo

I for one like listening to you all, good, the bad and the ugly....We only get sad listening to others because we care so much, we care that you are having a shit day, we laugh when someone does something silly (usually me!) we help when nobody else understands our pleas or cries...

I for one moan more than most and im in a situation most would die for...its natural, if you listen and put up with me then you have the patience of a saint...and in return im here for you all.

Hope that makes it clearer?

by the way anyone know how to delete the history, im in work and will get sacked at this rate

x post with barbie and hoping at my last post. Just read Vjays and felt really guilty & & all in one. Barbie I love you to bits & know you are doing everything with complete love in your heart & the bestest intentions and thank you so much for that honey.. Maybe we could call that thread the meltdown thread?! Mermaid its prob a good call on your part hon.. Im just a complete mess, which is natural after a BFN, been on this journey for 2yrs now & its a long road. Just wanted to fall over & have you girlys push the wonderweeble back up again in your own inimatable style, which barbie mermaid iggs and hoping did.. All the emotions of guilt, embarrasment & worry about causing offence have now overtaken the immense all consuming over whelming sadness that I had ripping my head & body apart this morning.. Def needing to step back again... Barbie tho, please know I love you hon, you did the right thing & you're such a sweet kind girl & you have been so supportive & wonderweeble will stay with me forever... xxx

weeble thank F**K for that, thought i had really pushed you over the edge then so do you want me to help pack your bags then, or are you staying?
Really must do some work, will be back in a few hours....i can get the link message deleted if you want?