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Conception

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Emmsys Onwards & Upwards part VII - hand-holders and hair-strokers welcome!

1001 replies

cupcakefairy · 25/07/2009 23:12

Shiny new thread for us

The race is on for the first BFP!

OP posts:
MrsKate · 20/08/2009 11:22

hi all

just a quick noye to give a massive congrats to mls on her BFP xxxxx

im ok very very tired and not looking forward to nights tonight im not sleeping very well at night bloody back ache has come back xx

bluesatinsash · 20/08/2009 11:25

oh girls, what a morning.

Firstly MLS - congratulations , so delighted for you my lovely. Are you taking baby asprin? So glad to have you back and in the bestest of circumstances [SMILE].

Iggy you have made a great point about there being no 'new' members as the Emmsy's thread on mc board has drifted off so it can feel small panters are forever trying to catch up with no new recruits to share the burden.

As we've said a few times its such a unique thread with us all at different stages but regardless of how much we care and share each others good and bad news stories, it is hard for small panters to be reminded of what we long for. This thread is a huge success in terms of pregnancies but makes it shine a light more on small panters and their desire and our desire for them to join the big panters.

I would hate to leave as I know personally that I won't go near an ante-natal thread, had to bow out of two and vowed never to go back.

There maybe does need to be a small panters thread so you are not continually having to hear about scans, pram shopping etc. but can come back on here wheNver you want to. I know if I was still in small pants, being here would remind me too much of what I long for and extra anxiety and stress is the last thing any of you need.

i need to go and pick Ds up from playgroup, but just wanted to say 4ever - PLEASE don't despair, I just want to give you a massive big sister cuddle. As Emmsy says, DON'T GIVE UP.

4everhopeful · 20/08/2009 11:52

The weeble shall pack for a short break - barbie no heavy lifting for you... As you know I have my RL shelter for every w-end already, so I will be a bit of a rolling stone (in mum & dads honour) & wherever I lay my OPK will be my home.. When Im melting down Ill try the new place across mermaids garden, when im happy & wanting to know you girlys latest goss Ill be back... xxxx

mm1509 · 20/08/2009 11:57

Hi ladies, remember me (mm chaps at the door), not posted for a while but still here lurking.

4ever so sad reading what you are going through right now, it's frustrating that life is so cruel at times, but always remember you are not alone and we do all know the feelings that you are experiencing now. When you said about your lo could have been having it's first birthday soon it really hit home to me, the first lo I lost would have been 1 last week and it's hit harder than I thought it would. I guess it's a reminder how long our journeys have been. I like to think that all of this will just make us love our lo's even more when they do arrive and you and your DH will just make the best parents ever..........keep hanging in there, you are much stronger than you think.

iggy it made me a bit sad reading how you feel about us preg ladies but I totally understand why you feel the way you do. I had to take time out from the thread when we were taking a break from ttc and everyone was taking about what CD they were on. Maybe like mermaid suggested another thread to run alongside this would be good, whatever you decide all the lovely ladies will still be here whenever you need them.

mermaid you sound such a brave lady and I am glad you are now in a good place. It sounds such a big decision to not ttc but sometimes these decisions just happen naturally and we almost come full circle. You sound very much at peace with life now, just so glad you are not leaving us.

jools so sorry you got AF this month, I so hope you have a happy ending because you will make such a brilliant mum. I can see why you would think about putting a timescale on ttc but there is no rush to make any decisions, if it helps take a little time out to find the old jools. I always remember your kind words before I was preg and you deserve this so much.

MLS wow fantastic news, sending you sticky vibes your way, you take care now.

neeko haven't been on yet to say but so glad the scan went well, let's keep the good news coming.

emmsy thank you so much for posting on our thread, we all need reminders and inspiration to get through those dark days. By the way I agree with the others it does feel like we have been visited by a celeb, take care.

barbie mmnn so still in small pants...........they must be feeling rather tight by now, only joking you move when you feel comfy my lovely, won't be long till your midwife appointment now.

curly hope the holiday went well, liking the big pants. Sorry you are still puking away but if it's any consolation I am too, was at the docs on Mon and she says there is a good chance I will have it all the way through now, the meds are helping, don't care though everytime I feel this lo move it's more than worth it.

vjay no news yet, oh this stage is horrible you just want to get it over with, fingers crossed not too much longer for our first graduate.

moon so sad reading your posts, it is heartbreaking and we all understand, your poem brought quite a lot of tears to my eyes, it was beautiful. The dark days are so hard and I wouldn't have got through them without the ladies on here, hang in there it does get easier.

blue your facial got me thinking it's time for a pampering session over here, thank you for you text, will reply after this.

Big hellos to buddha, sabs, cupcake, hoping, gg, mrskate, annie, baking and anyone I have missed.

Well highs and lows here, major high last week with my scan, it was wonderful and I think I finally let myself fall in love with my baby in that room. No idea on the flavour although DH really wants to find out, I would rather wait and have a surprise. Three days after that was my first anniversary of the EDD of the first lo I lost. Didn't think I would feel so bad by now but I don't know if it was the emotions of the scan or horrormones (probably both) but it hit home hard. I keep feeling so guilty that when I got my BFP that time I kept thinking the timing wasn't ideal as I was due the same time that DD started school. It's almost as if I wished it away. I feel guilty rambling on about this when I read what some of the other girls are going through but I don't really want to speak to anyone in RL about this, I feel the view would be it's so long ago and your preg again so get over it.

Anyway thrown myself into some projects in the house that we want to get done before our lo arrives so keeping busy helps. Got to go now, shopping trip to the B&Q now, need to come up with ideas for the baby's room.

Take care everyone mm xxx

Neeko · 20/08/2009 12:26

Quick post as i'm at work. If my vote counts I don't want anyone to go. I want to hear how you're all feeling and be there for you, just like you've all been there for me... Ah, well do what you feel you must but this whole thing makes me so

emmsy1 thanks for the lovely post and for starting the whole thing off. I owe my almost sanity to you

(MLS one last time: YAY! YAY! YAY!

4everhopeful · 20/08/2009 13:14

Oh MM what a beautiful & understanding message from you honey. Im sorry you had the pain of what should have been your lo 1st birthday too. Its like Moons poem, people may not realise we are mummies, but we are, and we'll never forget those dates. You're a very special lady, one of the original Emmsys, and Im so glad that you are now allowing yourself to feel happy & excited, you deserve this happiness & your new babys big bro or sis would want it for you & your dh so never feel guilty... xxx

Neeko you know what? I dont want to go either.. Yea sometimes its a bit hard hearing new BFPs & baby talk, but tbh, if im in a bad place I'll skim read stuff, thats the joy of lurking . I actually feel massive relief hearing news on scans (sometimes panged with sadness cos it stirs a memory) but total joy that a fellow emmsys is past another stage of her journey (the one we started together!).

Im so lucky to have a few great supporting workmates here, the ivf lady, another who had 3mc & now 2 dd , & a couple of great teammates who always find the right thing to say.. All of them see how upset ive been today inc ex manager, so I braved it & mailed her back to say couldnt make it to lunch, & to say that i wont lie, its been hard for me, but i do wish her all the best (alot longer than that but you get my gist). Well she replied with such a sweet understanding supportive mail I just burst into tears again! On top of that my pg mate with same edd as no2s 1st birthday phoned up, I told her exactly how I was feeling & she was great. She supported me through 1st 3 mc & another 2 close mates had edds close to mine on 1st mc so she understands completely that its hard. Finally one of the pg colleagues is bringing her new baby in later & great teammate 'warned' me, which was v sweet. All that made me realise, yes I may look in at pg ladies down the street & babies & cute kids in the supermarket, but my friends, girls I know and love, like you all, are a totally different story...

So, I dont know what to do really, but I dont want to go, I want to hear your journeys every step of the way, good & bad, & be there to support you like you support me xxxx

Joolsiam · 20/08/2009 13:16

Corr - what a few hours I have missed

Well, hello to our VIP visitor Emmsy - lovely to "see" you

Mermaid - you didn't forget anything - I just didn't feel up to talking about it before - had gone off in a strop meltdown after AF arrived last time and hadn't recovered enough to talk TTC at all

4Ever - there seems to be an epidemic of pregnancy in the Wales office today and I thought of how strong you are, coping with in-your face preggy ladies at work - it gave me strength, till one person started talking "bump" at me and then said - so did you never want kids then ...... I had often wondered what I would do in this situation - eventually went for part of the truth - I've more or less given up after 3 or more MC's - then felt bad for making her feel bad - you can't win !!

As for who leaves, who stays - YES, it is bloody hard - delighted as I am for MLS - Yes, CONGRATULATIONS , I had to log off and go and have a self-indulgent cry when I read her news last night.

However, that doesn't mean I want anyone to leave. This community we have is something special - as long as we all respect others needing time out, that is all that is needed. A second thread would just cause a ssplit eventually - I've seen it happen before and really don't want to lose touch with anyone. I'm on another conception thread - OK its gone quiet, but I can always talk on there about TTC in detail, as there aren't many people left here that are bothered about the white coats any more ! However, I'm not sure if I want to get that obsessed about it any more anyway.

I don't think the thread in chat worked because it kinda looked like the small panters were being kicked out of a thread in CONCEPTION ! I will choose to ignore it and stay here, and I hope everyone else does too

Lovely to see you too MM I can't catch up any more as I only have just over an hour before I'm on the train home and loads of work to do !

Just a thought to leave you with - I know that a lot of people have set up private groups in Facebook - presumably if we worked out how to do that, we would have somewhere else to chat - perhaps about less TTC and baby-related things, and somewhere that Buddha could join us ? I don't know how to set it up, but I'm sure somebody must ?

A4Ever - I wish we could melt down together somewhere and help to pick each other up. We're in similar places, so if you want to vent on email or have a chat on the phone, I think you have my details x x x

mermaidspurse · 20/08/2009 13:41

oh blimey I only popped out for a bit
it was only a wee thought sorry and I havn't even got any pants

MummyLovesSadie · 20/08/2009 13:43

Gosh.... I thought it had been quiet here recently, not any more.

Jools so sorry my news upset you last night but I know that you know that I know all about that. That is why I disappeared for a few weeks, I couldn't take the heat to I got out of the kitchen. You can hand the white coat over to me any time as I love talking about all things ttc. Talking about white coats I've just remembered a very interesting article I read a couple of weeks ago..... let me just go & look for it.....grrrrr can't find it will look again in a bit. Anyway, really hope none of you leave & go to another thread. We need all of us on here in varying states of madness/sadness/happiness so that the ones on a downwards curve can be brought back up by the ones who are on an upwards curve if that makes sense.

Blue yes taking baby aspirin. Was reading the leaflet with my progesterone pessaries & they are also used to treat pnd, does that mean I'll be happy even if the worst happens??

Right I'm off to look for that very interesting article now...

MummyLovesSadie · 20/08/2009 13:47

here it is. Also one other thing.... can't recommend Pre-seed enough

iggypiggy · 20/08/2009 14:07

didn't mean to upset anyone - was kind of explaining (badly) why I am posting a tiny bit less here... I just didn't want you all to think I didn't want to chat to you anymore

I won't leave - I love chatting to everyone here. I just think it's hard without the new recruits to make us feel like we are a diminishing group... and am also , personally, pretty pissed off that I somehow haven't managed to get PG after my MC when I thought it was supposed to happen easily within the first 3 months.. this is my 5th month and nothing so I think that is where I am coming from. it's not you - it's me etc etc...

Sorry all

barbie1 · 20/08/2009 14:08

i have asked mnhq to delete my post about new thread and delete new thread too...sorry for any distress caused

mermaidspurse · 20/08/2009 14:13

ummm... I've got some mugs of rose for those that can and some sparkling water and oj for those that can't with umbrellas in too.
If I had pants I would put them on my head
love ya barbiexxx ps can't you come back to the SW and start a threading shop?

barbie1 · 20/08/2009 14:25

mermaid i love you too....love a sparkling water, althoug would love even more to have some vodka and coke right now, what a morning! phew....

I dream of moving back, one day we hope to live in falmouth as lloyds register has a base there from which dh could work....

mermaidspurse · 20/08/2009 14:27

don't know if we are ready for you

bluesatinsash · 20/08/2009 14:31

Ah, DS is napping...

So we've all agreed that this is the place to be with people dipping out whenever they need to... Barbie you're heart is so in the right place, everyone knows that.

Mermaid PMSL at you nailing planks of wood to your feet .. We went to a wholesalers yesterday and their prices were literally half that of B&Q - the recession has its upside . They aren't shifting as many due to housing slowdown so maybw worth seeking flooring warehouse down your way? Sorry your DS didn't win the longest sunflower. Ah competitiveness, its a male trait, ever since the first caveman caught a bigger bear than his neighbour .

MLS - you'll be kept busy with your asprin and prog suppositories! Really hoping and praying its third time lucky for you and a wee May baby is on the cards.

4ever - so glad you've rallied with all those lovely friends/colleagues. You have had so much to deal with with pg ladies literally dripping all around you, I've said it before but its worth repeating that you are a very speical lady.

MM - lovely to hear from you and great that all is good with lo. Me, you and Neeko should deffy try for meet up in the Autumn. Sorry you've been hit by about your first EDD, looking in the face of this new lo will make it all so much better and as you say these lo's will be the most cherished and cuddled lo's ever .

Mermaid your comment about us being 'tainted' with mc really resonated with me. I only now feel that some of my friends can be around me again (this is friends I've made through DS, not old time friends). Now I have a visible bump and am 'OK' in their eyes. From Aug-May they just didn't really know what to do with me, one part pity, two parts akwardness and I was so sad I couldn't be arsed making them feel better. As you say its as if its catching and you might rub off on them .

Better get back to packing, its supposed to be scorching in Berlin this weekend so have optimistically packed my Summer maxi dress .

Love to all x

mermaidspurse · 20/08/2009 14:41

Berlin fab, pack as much in as possible in the next few months as you float around serenly in your maxi dress.x
I might check out wholesale wood places, thanks.

4ever hope you are okish this afternoon. I am glad that your manager understands and others in the office are lovely. Its all such a blinking mish mash of life at the mo.xxxx

4everhopeful · 20/08/2009 15:19

Aww Jools hon - another kindred spirit, the offer is there to you too sweetie.. xx

Mermaid take the pants off your head & pass me that mug of rose, Im flumping down on that pillow in the corner of the greenhouse!

Barbie we all know you always have totally good intentions sweetie so no for you please!

Mls thank you for knowing that we know that you know that we know you know!

Iggs dont be so or feel bad. Stepping back is normal hon. We all need to do it.

Blue thanks for being lovely hon.. enjoy Berlin & forget about us nutters lovely girls for a few days!

Feel like a bull in a pregnancy shop with planks of wood nailed to my feet like mermaid! Well we said the thread had been too quiet recently! Its hurricane season so I did my best Main thing is, we started this together and we'll end it together!

Im all talked and cried out (YAY i hear you shout!) . Once a month the bottletop comes off, Im noticing a pattern. Thank you so so so much from the bottom of my heart for being lovely, making me feel worthwhile again, and supporting me. You always say the right thing. Every single one of you - I love you always for that! xxxx

iggypiggy · 20/08/2009 15:33

4ever am pissing myself off at the mo - am selfish and self obsessed and just keep petulantly thinking:

Is just not fair why can't i get PG again?

Glad you feeling bit better lovely x

barbie love you lots x

MLS fab article - thanks x

memaid love ya too x

everyone else - hugs from me xx

mermaidspurse · 20/08/2009 17:09

ig anyone who wears a hat so jauntily as you can't be pissed off for too long. Its a cycle remember that. It goes a bit like this - af - big piss off throw things at the wall - recover - a bit - throw some more stuff - start revving yourself up - bd - a lot - yawn - 2ww - slightly cheerful - dare to be a little hopeful Ad norsium till you get that golden ticket.
It will so happen for you, your body just needs a wee bit more time to make a really cosy and safe nest.xxx

Neeko · 20/08/2009 21:58

Yay! everyone's staying to some extent.Neeko's happy now

Mermaid you have captured the cycle perfectly. I know I was fortunate in not having to go through it often (though I did have the Neekothestrange cycle) but that's EXACTLY how I felt. Wise words like those keep this thread strong (as well as mental images of you with planks on your feet, pants on your head - but not on your bum - and rose in your hand! Love you

4ever One day soon your meltdowns will be of a different sort. You're a survivor and that just gets exhausting sometimes. I'm pleased to know you have such support in RL as well as on here and when it all works out for you, just think of the love your LO will be surrounded by.

Iggy I'm sending you a Cupcake special hairstroke (and one to that special lady too) There's no logic or fairness in why it's taking so long but sometime soon the odds will tip in your favour and all the heartbreak will be worth it.

Moon it's probably the fear of TTc again that's making you feel so When you're ready take a deep breath and take the plunge. The water's not as cold as your mind thinks.

Jools Life's a bitch. That's two months in a row that someone has announced a BFP on the day your hopes have been dashed I'm really sorry about that. It sucks and I genuinely mean that. If it's not too patronising I'd love to join the white coat brigade. i learned so much from all you white coaters and I'd love to give back if that doesn't sound too daft.

Barbie don't be Even people with the best of intentions trip up sometimes and if you didn't care you wouldn't have tried.

Blue So of your Berlin trip. I spent 9 months in Magdeburg when I was a pup of 21 ...just came over all nostalgic... and spent many a happy weekend in Berlin. Definitely do the checkpoint Charlie museum if you've never been. It always makes me cry and fills me with wonder at the lengths that us humans will go to to be with the ones we love. Definitely on for a meet up, but let's leave it til I have a bump so I don't get bump with you and MM who I'm sending a big wave to.

MLS thanks for saving my sanity AGAIN today. I'd be a basket case without you.

Vjay Hope you're feeling better. Come on cyber-nephew. we need you!

Big waves to Gracie Curly Mrskate Cupcake Sabs Bakingqueen ginger Hoping and all the rest I've missed.

Had a big bit of a panic today as BIL was diagnosed with swine flu and DD goes there for childminding. My Mum saved the day by rescuing DD but not until after I'd blubbed at work and was forced to tell a few people why I was so worried

DD had a great time with Gran but said Gran has a big huge bottom and Mummy has a tiny one! Training is clearly going well.

MummyLovesSadie · 20/08/2009 22:15

Neeko your dd is bloody hilarious! It reminds me of the time a few months ago when I was trying to explain to my dd the difference between a baby tummy & a fat tummy & she immediately pointed to my Mum & said "Nana fat tummy"!

4everhopeful · 21/08/2009 07:58

Morning girls...

What an emotionally draining day yesterday! Bit .. Havent cried so much since I dont know when.. Just want to thank you all so much for the support (& apologise for the ricocheting waves caused).. Frustration is all 4 pgs happened so quickly before (2/3 cycles max)& without really trying.. Now its my 7th cycle & BFN.. Mermaidthewise summed up the cycle saga perfectly, she also said our bodies prob need more healing time so am hanging onto that!!

Anyway just want to thank each of you again for being wonderful, feel guilty for the whole big pant/small pant debate but perhaps we all needed to air it.. Think it was quite healthy to get all our true feelings into the open... xxx

My nice new manager tx last night to say she knew what a difficult day id had & not to come in today if didnt want to.. as ex manager leaves today prob a good idea.. Sooo just crawled out of bed to say thanks again, Im very .. I shall leave you all alone for the weekend & hopefully return rejuvenated!

Love ya lots xxxxxx Big group hug anyone??! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Joolsiam · 21/08/2009 08:53

Morning 4Ever - enjoy your duvet day What a lovely manager that must be

Neeko - love the DD story. I really enjoy that kind of "chat"

Coming from any of you, the white coat offer is definitely not patronising and Neeko - well done for noticing the unhappy timing of CD1 for me and BFP announcements ! I don't want to put anyone off publishing happy news - we need lots of happy stuff ! but hearing PG news in the early days of AF is always going to be a bit of a kick in the teeth - an unavoidable fact of life

Hoping - am interested in what you say about spotting - this cycle followed my normal pattern - Sat, one teeny teeny spot of red / brown that you had to be looking for or you'd miss, but I see it every time. Sunday - two instances of seeing a tiny bit of brown on wiping, usually (TMI ?) with little stringy bits. Monday - a bit more brown on wiping. Tuesday - this month, full on red flow but sometimes I just get more and more brown for a day before it gets going. So, potentially 3 / 4 days of a bit of spotting - am not sure if this is bad or not ?

Back later - email gone mad !!

BuddhaBellyBigPants · 21/08/2009 09:48

I wanted to post on here yesterday but too busy at work and then RL takes over in the evening but I am so glad that things have been aired on here with regards to our mix of stages etc. I lurk on here ALL the time but because things move quickly and I don't want to just update about pg things I do take a backseat, but it doesn't mean I love any of you any less, everyone of us has something to contribute even when it's just a moan because we're feeling down it makes the rest of us feel useful that we can comment and support. So I hope we don't lose anyone but fully understand if people take little breaks so long as they all come back

4ever Glad you are having a duvet day after your awful day yesterday, I'll join you in that group hug
Jools Special hug winging its way to you know chick x
MLS Absolutely fantastic news so very pleased for you. I'm afraid I will have to disappoint with bump pics as I don't really have one a proper one yet, still in normal clothes although trousers are a bit tight now, in fact most people don't know I'm pg

Got to go client just come in will try another catch up later x

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