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Conception

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Mid 30's TTC--Gin Palace Two: Spawn of the BESH

999 replies

SarahAbroad · 21/07/2009 13:06

Hey all...

Hope this thread name is okay...just moved the Gin Palace around the corner before we ran out of space!

See you soon. The bar's open!

OP posts:
triggerhappybaby · 23/07/2009 14:01

extreme welcome. If you are covered in fag ash you are already more than at home

laurielou · 23/07/2009 14:01

wildfig on one hand thanks for telling me the songs coz it was bugging me. But now I'm singing them.

Hope your wrist clears up too. I broke mine last year - sober tripped down stairs over flared trouser incident. Ended up with carpet burns on face too - try explaining that one. Especially the one under my nose which made my sister goose-step every time she saw me.

extreme are you watching Jeremy Vile too? If so, you are my hero!

skihorse · 23/07/2009 14:02

I think the "Fag-ash covered dressing gown" should be our signature dress. Fuck Boden.

wildfig · 23/07/2009 14:03

ARGH! Carpet burn under your NOSE! I have just sprayed Diet Coke all over my notebook!

Hee hee. Will be thinking about you and your goosestepping sister all afternoon now.

The good thing about MV songs, is that you can only actually remember the one line that's in the chorus. After that it's a merciful blur.

extremesitting · 23/07/2009 14:04

Oh no. I have NEVER indulged in the Vile one. I did weep a bit when Fern Britton left This Morning though

extremesitting · 23/07/2009 14:05

Ive just added toast crumbs to the fag ash

idealcamel · 23/07/2009 14:11

Can't keep up with you lot today. Am jealous of the people who are in bed, and the people who are sitting around in fag ash covered dressing gowns. Bah.

wildfig I had an epiphany on the Tube about this "trying" lark. I am giving up trying. I am going to have nice sex, when I feel like it, and if a baby does not arrive then I shall buy a puppy. Didn't you have a similar epiphany recently?

longwee · 23/07/2009 14:13

Hi extremie

Do pretentious baby names make you angry? And more importantly, how come you get to loll around in a dressing gown at 2pm?!

skihorse · 23/07/2009 14:13

lol @ idealcamel I never thought I'd read the phrase "I'm envious of those sitting around in fag ash covered dressing gowns"! Aspirations eh?

You are on a slippery slope towards a council house and 56 cats to go with your fag-ash covered dressing gown young lady!

idealcamel · 23/07/2009 14:15

Yay! Bring on the council house and cats!

No, it just made me nostalgic for my student years (and years, I spent an unreasonable amount of time at uni), when I would often be found sitting around covered in fag-ash in a room littered with half-drunk cans of Pepsi Max and empty gin bottles. Happy days.

VeryAngryGusset · 23/07/2009 14:17

Back up, back up, back up!!!!

extremesitting :"Pref Drink: Been warned off Gin and Pimms by my monster-in-law (yes, she sends texts to remind me. don't ask...)"

What means this? Eh? Is the fabled nectar of the juniper gods not conducive to conception? And have you actually told your MIL you are TTC? [braver woman than me emoticon]

Cosmosis · 23/07/2009 14:21

. Hmmm, you're a little on the young side, but I see you're making amends with the fag ash covered dressinggown, so you'll do. Top up? Tell me about this unemployment lark, I'm soon to be experiencing it.

Been for lunch, proof once more that we are doing this all wrong. Crowd of dodgy looking yoofs hanging round under the railway arches, and overheard one of them, a lad of 19 at the most, boasting about expecting twins.

Oh and one final slightly on topic (yes I know, ptia sorry) question. At my dildocam appointment they are also doing a kidney scan. What's that all about then??

wildfig · 23/07/2009 14:24

Camel Yes, that was my original plan. I never wanted to be the woman who was 'trying for a baby' - still loathe that phrase - because I don't want to be the sort of person who has to keep trying for bloody months. I want to do it, or not, and keep any actual effort to myself. The more you try, the more you feel you're failing when it doesn't work out, when it shouldn't actually be like that at all; you can't draw a parallel with other times in your life when you 'try', viz, exams, diets, Tomb Raider, because then there is a direct corrolation between effort and result. That doesn't apply with conception. It's like TRYING to win the National Lottery by buying a million tickets - shagging all night every night for a month will not GUARANTEE you a baby. You could get a ticket on the off chance with your milk, and hit the jackpot, so to speak.

But I would recommend getting a dog. I love ours to distraction as does DB. Dog ownership teaches you a lot about getting up when you don't really want to, trying to communicate with a creature who cannot explain their 'sad eyes', cleaning up poo and then obsessing about the texture and consistency of said poo. Is also insight into motherhood: puppies did terrible things to our dog's nipples, and she's still not got her figure back after pups, and her coat's falling out for the next month or so before it grows back. Plus, even though she's the most placid example of a v placid breed, she went ballistic at some random visitor who smelled of Bernese Mountain Dogs, the moody bitch (literally).

Don't know how I'd cope with horse mummydom, ski. Horses make me cry, they're so noble and lovely.

wildfig · 23/07/2009 14:28

Fern Britton.

skihorse · 23/07/2009 14:30

wildfig I always said she could have a baybeeee when I did but as this isn't working out to plan - no doubt she'd just have to sniff a stallion across the barn. I well up every time I see foals too - it's coming to the end of foaling season so they're all growing up. aaaaah.

cosmo we were in the supermarket the other night and some PREGGO banged my OH with her bump - it was like she was taunting us - at least she was of an appropriate age. i.e., not 12.

idealcamel · 23/07/2009 14:30

wildfig It's worse that they're pregancy tests, right? I've never failed a test in my life (apart from driving and cycling proficiency and they don't count) before this...

I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE a dog. Probably a Tibetan Spaniel or a Norwegian Buhund or a Cocker Doodle or Sadly central London/6th floor flat/working fulltime = incompatible with dog ownership.

skihorse · 23/07/2009 14:31

PS Spotted outside supermarket - a delightful smack-addled couple clutching their new wrap, a 24 pack of cheap lager, a frozen pizza and a packet of nappies. Aaaaaaaah.

extremesitting · 23/07/2009 14:36

Hi Longwee! I get to mope about in fag ash all day because I lost my job a little while ago, thanks to the stinking recession. So glad I put off having babies for the sake of my career now! Currently supposed to be applying for jobs, but got distracted by desperate search for new information on getting knocked up and found you lot. Have not applied for a job in two days.

wildfig · 23/07/2009 14:37

camel M&B should let you take dogs in, to enhance the romantic atmos. You know Vogue House lets everyone bring their teeny beloved mutts (DDs?) in so they can sit beneath their desks? How else can you create an atmosphere of pure Gloucestershire so easily in central London? Move to Easy Living as their books editor quick.

[looks at dog lying upside down under desk, big paws akimbo. Is grateful for precarious freelance existence]

ski a foal! A foal! [melts]

also - a Preggo. Damn them, they're everywhere. One of my friends has managed to have one and a half since I started this effing temperature game. Will have to take up skiing/foreign travel to effect a high enough stakes holiday.

extremesitting · 23/07/2009 14:37

Also, apologies for the delay in responding. I suddenly realised that you will all be dressed, have clean hair and your faces on, whilst I stank like an ol granny's knickers. Not ideal when I have to force my OH to have unwanted sex with me tonight. So I had a shower.

laurielou · 23/07/2009 14:40

dildocam & kidney? What do your kidneys have to do with TTC for Gawd's sake?

Thinking about it onmy blood test form they had checking liver. Well, I've fucked that one up.

For the record, would also love a dog but full time work not fair. So we go dog walking for Dogs Trust. Its great, we see different dogs I cry every week.

skihorse · 23/07/2009 14:40

extremesitting you're trying too hard, it's not uncommon for me to return from the stables, say I'm too tired to shower and demand that he impregnates me. Luckily for me, he loves the horse. Not in that way, not in that way!

extremesitting · 23/07/2009 14:42

AAARGHH!!! So much to catch up on!!! I knew I shouldn't have washed!

Re the Gin thing: Gin and Pimms are supposed to be "abortives" (or some such upsetting term). So you are not apparently supposed to have them whilst trying to conceive. Which is just f*ckin typical for me.

Re: Monster in Law knowing we are TTC: I told her a couple of years ago that we wanted kids. I did not say we were trying. I can only imagine my OH spilled the beans at some point, because now she sends he and I texts - usually after we've been on a bender. I wouldn't mind but I can't stand the cow at the best of times!

extremesitting · 23/07/2009 14:46

I know Skihorse, bt I'm also trying to cover up for the fact that I have done nothing all day but chuckle at you lot! I'm going to ditch my old friends. And Facebook. Rub-my-nose-in-it-smug-bastards! I don't need them anymore!!!

laurielou · 23/07/2009 14:50

washing's over-rated, extreme

Have never mentioned anything to anyone in RL about TTC, in fact gone out of my way to scrunch my nose up every time kids are mentioned. But MIL recently gave me a load of books to read - currently on number 4 & they've all without fail been about 30 something women & their struggle to conceive