Mid 30s TCC Gin Palace

[SkaterGrrrrl]

Welcome everyone from the old 'Mid 30s and TTC for the first time' thread. And welcome newbies too. Don't mind the poster in the corner dipping pregnancy test sticks into her glass of gin.

Absolutely the right hole, don't know how we would have found it without MN though.

Let's hope it was just indigestion

PS - well done pudding, glad to see someone's doing us proud in the outside drinking world

I'm having a miserable afternoon, feeling crap & very emotional. Yesterday I bubbled the entire afternoon and today I'm feeling that I won't ever be pregnant but that it won't matter because my life's been a waste anyway. E.g., there's a thread in chat about a 19 year old who's got the chance to leave her daughter to go to cambridge to read medicine. I had the chance 2 years ago to go there to read vet science and now I know I'll never have that chance again. bastard fucking fuckety fuck fuck My life is a fucking waste, I played around with academia but nothing ever came of it - I switched courses, I dropped out, I messed around and now it's all too late.

ski mate.have a hearty punch on the arm from me.

You may well be pg it truly does make you feel quite mental and emotionally overwhelmed.at least that's what happened to me.

I would prescribe a nice g & t and some cake.

Hope you're on the up soon.fucking bollocksy hormones.

I still feel like I may die from
hungoveriness,will have to have a glass of wine soon to make it all go away.

BOD TOMORROW

We've opened the wine & OH is now hoovering the kitchen floor because our good wine glasses just connected with it... Bah.

Today has been total pumpness, the people who had my horse on trial returned her this morning on the grounds that she "makes a funny noise when she's eating" . Twats. They have six kids and have admitted she's brilliant with the kids and a fantastically trustworthy horse but they're worried about the noice. They emailed me this afternoon saying they knew someone who'd give me a few quid for her on the basis she's "sick". I told them to "do one". Thankfully I didn't go to the stables this morning else it would've upset me more - OH went and he's not as diplomatic as me! phew

I'm going to POAS tomorrow, I've got a couple of clearblue digitals and although I didn't understand all the instructions I checked the website and they say they're good to go 4 days early and I'll be 12DPO tomorrow.

Poor Ski Just remind yourself what a nightmare it must actually be to be a teenager with 2 kids studying like mad (I read that article too). And then remind yourself that a baby is better than a piece of paper (qualification). I know how you feel in an inverse way - have gone far in academia (MA, should be doing my PhD but can't get funding, grrr), but had severe ill health between 21 and 35 (misdiagnosed ME/CFS - actually have adrenal problems; lots of fun), AND I'm a lazy fucker and dippy creative type, so have never been able to sustain a good job and have a shit job now, with rubbish CV and hardly any experience, so feel depressed will never have a good job and now I want to have kids and then it'll be years before I can ... you get the picture (I intend to be SAHM, if feasible £-wise). On the bright side, keep telling yourself all the emotion is PG madness, like pudding says

And pudding don't worry too much about BOD - it's not like one day you are young and superfertile and then the next you are a wizened crone with wasted ovaries like dessicated currants, no matter what the Daily Heil would have you think. Just have a good birthday and plenty of hair of the dog

Here's a (TMI) question for you all: TOD has just ended, not in fertile phase yet, but this avo me and TYF got down to some sweet condom-free monkey lovin' anyway. Last time I shagged someone without a condom was 6000 yrs ago when I was about 21 so can't really remember much. Aaaanyway, afterwards hardly any sperm came back out of me - on the bright side, no wet patch. Okay, so I was laid on my side (we cuddled and dozed), but I was a bit . (He defo came, BTW) Is this a good sign? Have I got a Henry the Hoover (Henrietta?) for a cervix? He's normally a 'big producer' if you get my jist.

TMI? I know my own cycle v well, but this is my first time TTC so am a bit naive.

Scorpette haha how funny, I'm upside-down. I am able to crack on at a job and have a good one now - youngest and only female designer at my company, BUT I hopelessly accidentally fell in to this line of work. I don't want to work... but damning fuck, I keep forgetting to buy lottery tickets. OH will be SAHD as we want our children to have parental contact. I am jealous of that girl in the other thread... she already has a baby and the world at her feet... and amazing parents. She's probably gorgeous, volunteers for Help the Aged, was Prom Queen and is captain of the *hockey club too. Tsk

I'm also having the fear that even if I am pg, am I going to be able to continue to term? Or will they fall out? One by one.

Wine's going down nicely. hic*Disclaimer: By the time I got to uni the hockey club were all clap ridden slags. Oh how the mighty had fallen!

scorpette he faked! I think your uterus was just being greedy not having seen any of them swimmers for years 'n' years! Seriously you're supposed to suck it up if you've had an orgasm. It's all good... until you're at the gym tomorrow morning and realise you're not as fresh as you'd like to be!

pudding How're the BOD greetings cards coming along?

By 'big producer', I don't mean I'm dating Cubby Broccoli.

Badum-tsssh! Eye-thang-yew!

Ski - I am going to the gym tomorrow, as it happens! I'll get a bit of a downpour, will I? At least that creepy fat bloke in the shiny man-leggings won't want to use the machine next to me and letch like usual

I did have a bloody fantastic orgasm just before the sex (I have trained my nubile young loveslave very well), so I thought that must be it.

Try not to worry about carrying full-term; pretty certain that you will . I say this, but will be just as paranoid myself, if not more so. Can't help thinking that all the teenagers dropping sprogs like it's going out of fashion is 80% nature (higher fertility) BUT 20% just not thinking or worrying about things and being useless, brainless dimwits without a clue how real life works, so less stress on body.

Bitter, moi?

Scorpette No, it won't just flood out... it'll seep slowly and give off an odour - especially if you go before work, but it's really no big deal - unless obviously you're doing a yoga class and someone's face is in your minge? (n.b., if this is the case, what type of yoga are you doing?) It's just I notice if I'm on the bike or something that I can be a bit whiffy. Bloody men and their jokes about smelly women's fangos - hello boys! it's your stinky MANFAT!

My gym is lovely, especially at this time of year sans resolutionistas. Monday morning there are usually 5/6 of my regulars.

Are we all bitter? hellooooooo is there anyone on this thread who isn't bitter? If only this were the US, we could pay teenagers to carry our children for us! I was so proud of myself for not being a teenage mum... ha! fool! Tsk.

Ski - well, I can't wait for that. No yoga tomorrow, just weights, abs and ages on the AMT whilst I give the death glare to anyone else who wants to use it (there's only 2 at my gym). The aircon isn't working properly, so I think any vag-stench will be lost in the general vile fug of sweat (the men, I hasten to add, not me.. oh, who am I trying to kid? ). I also wear baggy gear, which might mask any unpleasantness, as I am all about the fitness and weightloss, not looking like an Eric Prydze video extra in lycra short-shorts and doing 10 mins on the treadmill whilst gossiping, grrr. Am giving up doing powerplate now am TTC, which is annoying, as it kicks ass.

I wouldn't want a surrogate (presume you were joking, obv) - I really want to experience pregnancy (am I being naive again?). My Mum had very easy pregnancies and always raves about how great it was (and she's otherwise very unsentimental), so I may have a giant pair of novelty rose-tinted specs on about the whole thing.

I am unable to have any balanced feelings towards teen mums - 99% of the ones I see make me do a crazywoman eye twitch as my mind screams 'YOU DON'T DESERVE THAT CHILD!' when I see them being so uninterested, disconnected, thoughtless, ignorant, neglectful or downright cruel. I have a feeling I am not alone on this one, huh?

PS Of course, it goes without saying that no-one I see with a baby could ever be as good a Mum as I will be

AMT? Yeh, I'm just doing a weights session tomorrow and some intervals on the treadmill. Makes me happy and my vag should be clear! Rah. I figured the powerplate could be no worse then the er... rabbit on Duracell.

Oh yes, sarcasm is a given around here - it is a thin mask worn shielding our bitterness, barreness and BOD'ness. I totally get the wanting to experience pg thing. A few years ago, I wasn't sure if I wanted to be a mother - but I did know that I didn't want to get through life without experiencing pregnancy... but of course it's not like you can go to the fairground and pay a fiver for a 20 minute "go"!

I want to raise happy children. I do realise that I've set the bar way too high here and I'll spend the next 18 years in a horrifying a-symmetric rending of cloth/pushy mummy scenario.

Ski - rabbit, you say? That was something I was wondering about, re: pregnancy. Not info for me, you understand. For a friend. Yeah, that's it; a friend.

AMT = Adaptive Motion Trainer. www.amtfitness.com/ The calorie-burner's best friend

I will be the most dreadful OCD, indulgent, over-lenient, soppy, pushy, right-on Mum who will be unable to cut the apron strings even when they're adults. So basically my own Mum, then. I've wanted to be a mum since I was about 6! I think 30 years is enough time to wait

wildfig is back. Hooray! I was worried.
Don't anyone else feck off without telling us you're fecking off first - I imagine you all under a lorry.

wildfig that scummy mummy obviously hasn't learned kindness, empathy or humility from "the greatest love". Isn't it funny how people seem to think squeezing a sprog out entitles them to be the most selfish me me me "me and mine are alright jack" fuck anyone else assholes on the planet?! Especially the fecking middle class smuggies. Grrrr....

Now, ski my hormones are going mad too so I'm cross. Your life sounds fecking great girl for feck sake. And you're only 35 so its not like its too late to anything you bloody want.

Oh ok so have some chocolate or something

scorpette / ski yeah I wanted to experience pregnancy too...turns out I don't really like it much!(still trying to do it again tho)

ski nowt on BOD cards yet!have been working on mothers day for next year which is always weird...

Wine is definitely good for hangovers.both causing and also curing them.

The auto immune pant lurgy is still dormant at the mo so got some shagging in over what should be the fertile bit...and as mentioned earlier also drank Bristol dry over the weekend and that really did it last time.am idly spotting imaginary symptoms already.

scorpette I'm the sort of mum you describe.but a bit more crap.

And fig the thing yummy mummies don't say is not only do you experience love like no other but also some other emotions.such as rage,fear and general hysteria (or maybe that's just me )

Just a half hour to go nolongerchunky before the white flag shoots out yer crack

Happy birthday. Personally I thought 35 was a fine age.

Happy BOD Pudding! One subsciption to the Daily Hate Mail winging its way to you.

Have you POAS yet Ski?? Reaaaaalllly wanna know if you're up diffed lady.

Happy Birthday pudding. Hope your ovaries & fango are all OK.

Personally, having just endured celebrated my 37th birthday I'd lurve to be 35 again. You kids!!!

ski - you POAS yet? What's the news?

One of my closest friend's was due her baby yesterday. Probably more to do with that than me being up-diffed but I've been an emotional, moody cow all weekend (don't tell the boyf I admitted that).

ideal thanks for the DP alternatives - what an exciting & varied past you've had. The only names I can conjure up from past experiences are TWAT-MAN, ARSECUNTFUCKFACE.... you get the picture.

Oh, talking of which, one of them was on the same flight as me last week!!! I spent the whole flight convinced the plane was going t crash & my name would be linked to his forever more on the death toll. Irrational? Moi?

Anyway, hope everyone has a good day (as good as a Monday allows), x

Cheers don'ttry and nocoffee

woke up this morning thinking 'happy BOD to me..' and I'm still hungover.and it's pissing with rain and I have a 40 min walk to work.grumble grumble grrrr grr grr.however 35 doesn't seem that bad as since I had small I feel about ninety.

Thinking of you ski (in a strictly non-lezzer way) hope your piss brings you joy.

Cheers laurie!

Personally I am always emotional and moody.when pregnant I am actually officially a psycho

what a lucky man the ol' fella is eh?

Happy Birthday, pudding!!!!! Congrats on getting in your birthday bonks over the weekend.

Well, the RTOD has arrived this morning. It turns out that my symptom spotting (tired, emotional, sore boobs) was really an exercise in identifying all the phases of PMT. Which I sort of knew after I PedOAS and got a BFN yesterday morning...but I stayed in denial. Sigh. Onto TTC cycle #4. Realised I had succumbed to negative thinking when I thought, "Right--well, then. Halfway to being entitled to a doctor's appointment to discuss my shriveled ovaries." Possibly, I need to work on my attitude....

Ski, please go POAS. I need a positive! Please!

laurielou that's hilarious - and nobody would EVER believe it WASN'T an illicit trip would they? Weirdest plane incident I've had is when I pulled a sickie at work and flew to Dublin for some sex tourism. Sat in departures on the friday evening I glanced across the lounge and made eye-contact with a colleague... Some heavy-duty flirting and a lunch bought his silence.

OK, woke up at 4am, POAS: Niet Zwanger. Got the bus in this morning as I'd left the car in the carpark all weekend, nearly burst in to tears on the bus. This is fecking ridiculous, all I do is cry and my back hurts and I have a spot between my eyes the size of an egg... in fact it may be my long-lost twin growing out of the top of my nose! My uterus still feels heavy and twingey and I'm starting to think that maybe not everything fell out last month. Buggerations.

We're going camping next week on a little island in the north sea between holland and denmark. That sounds like a fucking ideal place to start heavy bleeding/panicking!

Happy birthday pudding - BOD reached! Ovaries dead! Ding-dong your womb is gone!

Sarah I never used to get the PMT symptoms, or at least I never stopped long enough to think about them.

ski pmsl @ sex tourism.

I was on hol with current fella too - Dear God, I'd have been labelled a right old slapper in the press, wouldn't I?

I did the only mature thing I could - turn my back so I wouldn't make eye contact. DP thought it was hilarious to lay claim to me put his arm around me & shout "Hiya mate".

Considering I've been with current DP for 13 years all a bit OTT. Ah, who cares!

To make up for the trauma I decided to treat DP to lunch - we ate the works, I opened my purse & I'd left my debit card at home! Genius!! Going to try that one again!!!

Morning all! Happy BOD Pudding Have a great day. Can you feel the shrivelling yet???

Yay, welcome back wildfig, we missed you

ski can't believe it said niet zwanger, what's that all about?? I was convinced you were well zwangered.

Happy Birthday of Doom To You!
Happy Birthday of Doom To You!
Happy Birthday of Doom Dear nolongerchunkybutstillapuddiiiiiing!!!!!!
Happy Birthday of Doom To Yooooouuuuuu!

And many mooooooore!!!!