Issys girls.....10 down, only 4 to go! :-)

[Bubblebell1]

So here it is... our shiney new thread... hope you all see it soon or i will be here all on my own.

bubble step away from the test! I know its hard, but it is better to wait, and it won't change the result!! Fingers and toes crossed for you!!

So i think I ov'd yesterday/today, and it feels weird not to be demanding my DP report for duty. It was our anniversary yesterday and it would have been so perfect to concieve on that day, but we have to wait... so I am dutifuly waiting. Its hard though. I do feel positive that I ov'd though, so AF in 2 weeks, then we can start trying again!

sunny any sign of your AF yet?

Oh Girl am so happy you ov'd. God. I know exactly how happy you must feel. Can I ask: how did you know? Was it by temp or ewcm? Temping never works for me: I never have consistent results. And I certainly didn't have any ewcm to speak of. But I still feel I may have ov'd over the weekend - just a hunch. I keep feeling vague AF pains, as though things are moving down there. I will be beyond happy if AF shows up in the next couple of weeks - and beyond depressed if it doesn't. Like you, I just want to get started again. I'm ready! Bring it on!

I know I'll never know, but I can't help wondering if my MC was a blighted ovum, or a result of my severe sickness and, er, "liquidity" at the other end. The baby stopped growing at exactly the time I was sick. With all this talk of swine flu, and with DD having same, I wonder if swine flu was the killer. I sound like a Daily Mail headline, I know, and I also realise it doesn't matter. But it does to me. Anyway, whatever - I know I need to move on. Sorry. (Sunnydale hits self with stick)

Hi sunny cross posts!

mostly EWCM, I am temping, but forgot this morning so con't confirm until I get the rise. Temping does seem to work for me, so hope I get the shift tomorrow then I will know for certain! Hope something happens for you soon, waiting is such a pain in the bum isn't it. Seems I am always waiting for something... to Ov, 2ww etc. and now apparently I have "the other 2ww" as I am now high risk for a further ectopic, but they don't test until you are 6 weeks, when/if i do finaly get the BFP I then have to wait until they confirm everything is ok.

A good cry should do you good, buscuits and sex and the city sounds like perfect medication! I know that you really want a reason why, I totally understand as if there is a reason you feel there is some control, or at least that it won't happen again and you were just unlucky. It could be because you were sick, but from all the Dr's I have spoken to they just keep saying that MC are really very common and really can be for no reason. Its easy to say, and hard to accept, I know I have been there. They also keep telling me I should see it as a positive thing that we can "concieve" and just keep trying. I wish I could give you an answer (indeed I wish I had an answer for myself).

Hang on in there!! [hand holding emoticon]

Hi everyone, and lovely to hear from Sunny, Jumping, Girl and Irish!

So in chronological order ;

jumping great news on scan and new job! hope to see you posting a wee bit more once you've gotten over new job guilt .

Bubble - yay x 100 re: clomid and progesterone levels. Fingers, toes, everything crossed for you..... We need to get Head on here to lecture you about early testing .

Irish - sorry your (.)(.) are sore but all for a good cause! Early pg is just a totaly scunner in terms of emotions, physical side effects and sanity in general. Spring is a lovely time to have a baby .

Sunny - sorry to hear things are still awkward with your DH. Maybe a couple of days apart will clear your heads a bit. S&TC and biscuits sound perfect! I have so been where you are wondering if something cuased the mc. My PG before xmas was blighted by a acute chest infection when I was 5 weeks. I had to get anti-biotics but what worried me more was the coughing to the point of not breathing which caused heart rate to explode etc. etc. I remember phoning NHS 24 as I was so worried it would damage baby and lo mc at 8 weeks with baby only measuring 5-6 weeks. I'll never know but do think it at least contributed to it ended. I also can relate to your phrase 'waiting in the waiting room of the waiting room'. It can feel like that when your gearing up to starting all over again but please don't give up, Head and me have both had 2 mc and dusted ourselves down again. Have you thought of using the OPKs to nail your ovulation? I used them for all 4 (god is it really that much) pregnancies.

Girl - great news that you feel you've OV. How long are you having to wait? Is it until your scar has healed? Really pray its not long until we get some BFP news from you.

Head, wasabi and sif - get back on here and tell us your news!!!

Not much to report from me, I'm just counting the days til my 20-week scan next Tues. Trying not to go to the 'dark side' and worry but 'tis hard not to prepare for bad news when that's your default setting.

Later ladies x

Hey ladies

bit - have had bleeding since about 2 today so DH brought me to hospital (after I bawled to my manager).

They did a urine test, thar was BFN and then did BHCG test which was only 21. Also had a scan (internal scan very weird to have a camera up there ). Womb lining was 11 and they said anything over 7 was good for this tage of pg.

Anyway they have said at 5 weeks I should have higher HCG levels so I've to do a test tomorrow in two weeks and go back to them for a scan if that's still BFP.

I'm not bleeding very heavily at all but have period like cramping - not very hopeful but I''ll let you know how testing goes.

Oh Irish. Hang in there. It's fair to say I know exactly how you feel. Well, not exactly but prettymuch. The waiting. The hoping. The cramps. What is your hunch? Go on your instincts, I say, not the doctors'. For me, I cramped the night before I started bleeding. Bad cramps in the evening, good night's sleep, no blood at all and then bingo, on it came. Cramps on their own with minimal blood is not necessarily anything to worry about, so do hang in there. It really could go either way. Thinking of you. Happy to stay online if it would help you to have someone "here".

Thanks Sunny DH and I are here looking at various stats etc trying to see what's what.

Only cramped once I started bleeding so maybe that's a go dsign. I'm not sure but as I said I'll wait and see now. Probably do a pg test tomorrow or Friday if the bleeding slows at all

I'm going to head off soon to bed with a hot water bottle and try to sleep.

Thanks a million

Ok, sleep tight, lots of love and luck (god, this babymaking lark turns us all into cheeseballs. I promise I'm not this schmaltzy in RL!) xx

Oh Irish - here's my hand to hold. Summoning up every sticky thought for your bean. As Sunny says its the waiting that's the worst. Really hope it all settles down in the next couple of days. Will be thinking about you xxx

Oh Sunny I'm so sorry. I was going to post a proper update tomorrow morning but had a quick look and couldn't not answer.

Summoning all the positive vibes and sending them your way. x

Ok, that message was for Irish not Sunny. Sorry to you both

Think I might go to bed now

Irish - keeping my fingers very tightly crossed for you. Sending you lots of love and hugs to get through the horrid waiting game.

Hi everyone,

Sorry if this is TMI but have been passing lots of clots since I got up this morning. The cramps have gone to be replaced with a tight feeling (best way I can decribe it)

I'm going ot do a HPT some day next week to see what the story is but might be back on the wagon again.

Feeling a bit and not sure whether going to tell people or not - obviously will tell my BF as she knew about the BFP but that's it.

Oh and thanks for all the hand holding/crossed fingers/positive vibes - it really helps when you know tehre are people who I can talk to about this

irish so sorry you are going through this. Its not over until its over, but I hope you find out one way or another soon, the waiting really is the WORST! fingers crossed for you!!

I actually found once I had come to terms with it myself telling people did help. Don't forget whoever you do tell will know you are TTC and also I found people (my family mostly, who i didn't want to tell but had to) treated me a bit with kid gloves, especially when my SIL became PG. But the couple of freinds I told were really supportive and it felt nice to talk to someone other than my DP.

irish hunni.. im so sorry. thinking of you and keeping everything crossed that its all going to be ok xxx

Irish - so sorry to hear you've passed some clots . How is your tummy feeling now? Are your boobs stil sore?

Pregnancy is just so f*cking hard .

Hey Everyone

blue all pregnancy symptoms are gone - you know I never thought I'd wish to have the sore boobs back.

Thank you all for your good wishes and support - it's been nice to have people to share this with - DH is being lovely too.

I might go lick my wounds now for a few days- have to workat the weekend - that ig project is going live and I should be there today adn tomorrow but am taking some me time.

Hope everyone else is feeling ok and I'll talk to you all asap.

Love and Hugs

Oh Irish I'm so sorry. If the worst has indeed happened, and that's not for me to surmise but rather for you, your body and your instinct to know, then please, please take heart that you are young, you don't need to panic and you have many many fertile years ahead. I know it may not seem like it now, when it's now that you want to be pg. And fwiw, I think you're so smart to have started ttc now, and not left it late like I did. Be kind to yourself, don't work if you don't feel up to it, and remember many of us on here have been in your shoes, and are here whenever you need us. Thinking of you and your DH xxx

Moning all,

So my temp hasn't gone up, so it looks like I haven't ov'd yet, however getting lots of EWCM, loads more than usual and its so frustrating that I can't make use of it!! someone talk sence to me and tell me to wait because I know I really do have to... urrrg i want to scream, wish I would just hurry up and ov so temptation is taken out of my way. The alternative is that my temp hasn't gone up because I am not ov'ing, and that makes me scared that I only ov'd from the right side, which is now gone, I have read of this happening. If that is the case then i am NEVER going to get PG.

irish how are you doing?
sunny how are things with you and DH, is he back yet?

Hi everyone,

Ok, here is a very long update! It?s been a bugger of a week. DS has been really quote poorly with high temperatures, horrible coughing and wheezing like he?s a 40 a day man. Really started bricking it about swine flu but the doctor this morning said it was just a coldy type virus and that he was already over the worst. His chest was clear which was a relief as it was sounding dreadful a day or two ago. The cough will prob hang around a while though which is a bugger as we have already had 4 nights with next to no sleep.

Other news ? had my blood test/nuchal test results back which gave a 1 in 1200 risk - odds I will quite happily take. That?s been one of the rays of good news in a fairly crappy week! We had our survey results back on the house we are hoping to buy and they have found quite a bit of damp so we are now having to get a damp and timber survey done to see the full extent of it and will have to decide what to do. We expected a bit of damp in a house of this age but it seems to be a bit more extensive than that. We?ll see.

Ooooh other news ? one of my close friends had her second baby at 1.55am this morning in all of a 2 hour delivery! Bless them ? she?d been really getting down because she was getting on for 2 weeks past her due date but then bingo! A home birth was planned but the midwife only got there just in time apparently. Really happy for them. We were going to look after her DS1 if necessary but as it was they put him to bed at 7ish and he woke up in the morning with a new brother to meet. Fingers crossed she sends those super speedy birth vibes my way in 6 months time!
And now for some messages.

Irish I?m so sorry to see that it looks like the worst has happened. There is nothing I can write that will make you feel better but as and when you want to talk about it we are all here x

Girl I?m so sorry you are getting so angry and frustrated. I just don?t know enough about this to give any advice but there are loads on MN that do. What does your doctor/consultant have to say about it?

Bubble It?s fab news that the clomid worked but step away from the early tests! It brings nothing but trouble or, at best, considerable expense. I had a cast iron rule that I tested on the day after I was due if I made it that far. I did actually break that rule this time by testing on my due date but I was 99% sure that I was pg at that point. Fingers crossed those PMT symptoms are actually early pg ones!

Issy Yay for your one woman attempt to prop up the UK economy. Glad you are narrowing down the names and enjoying some serious planning!

Blue Glad its all ticking along for you too. Not long till the 20 week scan now. I?m sure it will all be fine and you can enjoy seeing your lovely LO giving you a wave! I do understand what you mean by assuming the worst being a sort of default setting. I tend to be the same. My DH is a real ?think positive? type which is great but I often want to scream back ?Why????? It won?t bloody change anything. I?m not a real pessimist ? just a worrier.

Jumping Hello! You sound crazy busy so it?s nice to see you even briefly! Your sonographer sounds a bit naughty ? saying hello wee man when you had said you didn?t want to find out! I guess the important thing is that everything was ok though so that?s good news ? and about your blood pressure behaving itself too.

Sunny Sorry to hear that you and your DH are still not really talking. Perhaps a few days on your own isn?t such a bad idea ? it can help. I always have an inclination for solitude when I need to sort my head out. After my mc it took me a good couple of months to really accept that sometimes shit things happen for no reason. I was torturing myself trying to figure out why I miscarried but with the aid of some hypnotherapy I finally let it go. I don?t know why it happened and I never will. It took me a while to get there though. 3 weeks to your AF since the mc isn?t long remember ? around 4-5 would be quite normal so hopefully not long to go.

Head Hope you are enjoying some quality country living!

Sif Hello wherever you are.

Good grief this has to win the longest post ever award!

Hello all

Wasabi good to hear from you - congrats about your nuchal results, that's ace. Phew. Sorry you've had such a crap week in other ways. But what an amazing birth story! Two hours and the son asleep upstairs! God, what a lucky woman. I can only dream!

Girl so sorry you're feeling rubbish. You know you still might have ov'd - temps never worked for me, even though the clearblue fertility monitor said I had ov'd. Try not to worry about "wasted" ewcm this month - I totally know what you mean, but I read a really useful article somewhere that explained why it's worth waiting. The writer had got pg a few weeks after a mc, and because it was impossible to date the pg, she had loads of unnecessary worry when it came to dating the baby, eg when it was small for dates, she freaked out but only because there was no way of telling when she had conceived. So try to think of it not as a wasted month but as a way of avoiding 12 weeks of worry and torture.
Er, sorry if that doesn't help.
No idea what's going on with me, but I guess it's only 3 weeks after the event so I just need to sit tight. Me and DH are going to the pub tonight - hopefully it will be just what we need. Booze!

Irish, hope you are ok and hello to everyone else.

HI everyone, sorry for the long absence, been mega busy with trying to sort out the move.

Catch up first...

Irish so sorry to hear your bad news... it's utterly dreadful and frustrating. I hope you are not too down. As sunny said you've got many fertile years ahead of yourself, and what I felt about my mcs was if I did have to have one, then an early one was preferable. For me it was over so quickly it gave me a chance to get back on the ttc wagon quickly. I did try the next cycle, but that's a personal decision. I felt ready, raring to go in fact, but as sunny said to girl... it is actually quite handing having a cycle between so dating becomes easier.

Girl I've never temped, but I do know it's very easy for it to get messed up (hence my total lack of patience with something that isn't 100% reliable ) so don't lose heart. Lots of ewcm is a great sign, it's not wasted, it's reassurance you're body's getting back to normal and working well.

wasabi congrats on your fantastic nuchal results... I had just after my 37th birthday, so I had my first nuchal at 36, and I only got 1:1000, so well done! It's scary how quickly those odds fall though, I only got 1:400 this time, and it's only 2 years later! eek!

Sorry to hear about damp problems, I hope it's only superficial. We've discovered quite a bit of damp in our place, it came up in our buyers survey, but it was a case of replacing some guttering, treating the brickwork and replacing some internal plasterwork. In all about £2000 of work, which we're knocking off our sale price so the new owner can get the work done. It may be worth negotiating something similar with your sellers if you're keen to get moving.

Blue I hope things go well at your scan next week. I can totally understand about not going over to the dark side, I've wandered there myself a few times this week. I've got to wait to 22 weeks, 24th August, until my scan. I'm really worried because I haven't really felt any major kicks yet, some squirming which I can't really differentiate from wind (I am super windy at the moment ) so as you say, when bad news is your default setting, it's really hard not to expect it. We'll have to have a bit of mutual hand holding.

Sunny so glad you're so up for ttc again, but boy those 2ww are a killer. I hope it's not too awful for you. I was really ill right after I ov'd at Christmas and I was convinced my high temp and terrible cold had caused my mc. The mw at the EPU tried to reassure me that that really wasn't the case.. if a pregnancy wasn't going to work then it really wasn't going to work, if it was going to work then nothing really would stop it. It did help reassure me that nothing really would have saved that baby, it was never meant to be.

Sorry you and dh are still struggling with your grief seperately. I wonder if he feels he doesn't want to upset you by being upset himself, so he's emotionally removing himself to protect you. Whatever it is, I hope you find a way to talk to each other, comfort each other and come together sometime soon. Can you arrange a night out for some fun and bonding? A way to try and move away from some of the pain and reach out to each other?

bubble That's great news about the Clomid. Any signs of AF yet or are you pretending trying to not think about it? It must be such a relief to get back to a more normal cycle, so the ttc can start again in ernest!

Issy I'm very of your shopping spree! I've decided that the only place I'm going to buy mat clothes is Mamas and Papas, they have some lovely stuff but it's quite expensive, so I'm keeping it all very minimal. Plus I'm not going to make the same mistakes I made last time and spend a fortune when I'm working and have nothing saved for mat leave. I was totally brassic after my 18 weeks on 90% pay stopped, it was such a shock to go down to £108 a week! I had a terrible SpaceNK and Neals Yard habit that I had to break

Jumping glad you had a good scan... hope the new job goes well and look forward to hearing more from you soon.

So news from the fairy household....

We're finally moving out this Wednesday... we actually haven't exchanged yet, but our buyer insisted on a totally pointless change on our leasehold agreement, so he's the one holding things up. We'll probably exchange and complete on the same day this week (fingers crossed) We've got to go in to my sisters as we're looking after her cats, so Wednesday it is. The packers are in on wednesday and everything goes in to storage on Friday. Busy week ahead.

Then dh has his operation.... and the fun and games begin. My MIL has grudgingly offered to come and stay and help us out for a couple of weeks (she's such a ray of sunshine ) but that nearly caused a diplomatic incident of epic proportions earlier this week. My sister yelled at me all day on Wednesday, which was my birthday, she didn't even remember to say happy birthday until the evening, so I was in a sulk. My parents forgot my birthday (they're on holiday in France - that's their excuse) and my grandmother forgot too... so it was rather flat. My lovely dh took me out for dinner on Thursday though (as I was working on Wednesday evening) and he's bought me a lovely Isabella Oliver cardigan/wrap thing. So who needs families eh?

I'm starting to get very nervous about my 22 weeks scan. I'm still not getting much identifiable movements, which I would have thought I'd be feeling by now. I do have an anterior placenta which might explain some of it, but it doesn't help with the worry. I'm going to see the doc next week to get my Mat b1 form and I'm going to ask him to have a listen to the heartbeat to reassure me everything's still on course. The last time I heard the hb it was so fleeting, I didn't feel terribly reassured.

I wonder at what point you stop worrying? Last time it didn't even occur to me that things could go wrong.

Anyway, I'm at work all weekend freaking out about planning everything I've got to pack up. I've discovered the joy of vacuum pack bags, so I've reduced most of my clothes to a tiny, compressed lump! It's very satisfying

Take care everyone xx

wasabi did I pip you to the post on the longest message front?

hey girls!

AF arrived this morning

im gonna go and lick my wounds and will come back see how you are all doing.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

i will be thinking of you

Oh Bubble - that's crap . Still good though that clomid worked this month. Maybe needs another month to really kick in?

Hi Head and belated Happy Birthday for last week . V. impressed your DH got you an IO top - lots of brownie points for him. Hope the move goes well this week - I take it you'll be putting the Volvo to good use ? Please don't worry about feeling/not feeling lo. We are in a mini limbo land between 12 and 20-week scan but any feeling at all is good. I sometimes just have 'wind' then 'bubbles' but no kicks or anything... Its just mini milestones; early scan, 12-week, blood results, 20-week, 24 weeks (when baby is deemed viable) and so on and so on. The worry NEVER ends, it just gets a tiny bit easier.

wasabi - lovely news about your friend - a birth I can only dream of! Getting a VBAC is my aim but my healthboard sadly don't allow them at home. Gutted about your house and additional costs, these things are set to test us... Great news too on your blood results, fantastic .

Girl - as Head says lots of EWCM is a good sign your body is getting back to normal. Have you used OPKs at all? I've never tempted but swre by those bloody little sticks.

Sunny - how did your pub sessin go with your DH? Sometimes a good bevvy is just what the doctor ordered. Hope you were able to open up and share your feelings.

Irish - if you're lurking, I really hope you'll be back soon, back in the saddle, you're young and will bounce back.

to Jumping, Issy and the elusive sif xxx

Have updated list

TTC
Girlwithacurl TTC#1
Bubblebell TTC#3
Sunnydale TTC#2
Irishmumwannabe TTC#1
Suzibhoy TTC#1

BFP
Wishing BFP 16/3/09 EDD ???
RipMacWinkle TTC#2 BFP 30/3/09 EDD ??
JumpingJellyFish TTC#3 BFP 31/3/09 EDD 7/12/09
Bluesatinsash TTC#2 MC Aug 08 MC Dec 08 BFP 14/4/09 EDD 25/12/09
HeadFairy - BFP 22/04/09 EDD 27/12/09
Issy TTC#1 MC Mar 08, CP Sep 09, IVF BFP 9/5/09 EDD 17/1/10
Sifuentes TTC#1 MMC Dec 08 BFP 11/5/09 EDD 12/1/10
Wasabi TTC#2 MC Jan 09, BFP 25/5/09 EDD 2/02/10