Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 3 - all welcome

[Caitni]

Right ladies, time for a new thread.

And a big welcome to everyone . Here's to many more success stories and healthy pregnancies!

Bumpless thanks for tip on CD will get on to that, anything to get things going in right direction! Started meds yesterday, injections not too bad, just the first one had a lot of fussing and staring really closely at the liquid to see if it actually went in and all sorts of cafuffle! Have my first scan next monday. my mum is coming over (from ireland) to babysit my 3 year old dd, which is great. so i can really relax and not have to worry about entertaining her all the time. i find myself staring into space a lot and this does not go down well with a child!
I have just been to tumble tots with my dd after half term break of 2 weeks and i think that all of the mothers gave birth during the fortnight! seriously. there were 2 tiny babies and one of the 2 year olds was presented with a balloon because she just became a big sister! I found it really hard i must say, much harder than i usually do. Chin up, these thoughts dont help anyone!
Lottie yes that makes complete sense about the MS. Some people dont like to think that people are looking at them as some kind of case to be pitied. Of course most people wouldnt, but now they have to show everyone how fantastic and perfect they are as if to say 'look, we are perfect, we dont need anyone's pity, we are better than all of you' and it just comes across as nasty and insensitive. Give them space and take a deep breath when you think of them, i know i will have to! as for competitive parenting, keep away from those women! well well, far far away. they use up all the oxygen. and they are exhausting. trust me.
NotPrincessAnne you are right. life is too short to feel guilty about legitimate feelings. she is not being sensitive to your feelings and needs. A real friend takes into account the feelings of a friend. my friend announced that she is pregnant a few weeks ago. she has a son much younger than my dd and she knows i am having fertility problems, and she was so sensitive and careful with her words. i knew what she was doing, but it was nice to know that she cared enough to think about what she said. Some people are just not worth trying with. good luck with whatever you decide x
Good luck to everyone on drug free days and waiting to test and injecting yourselves and taking clomid and egg collections etc!!!!!

Glastochick, hi
Firstly, what is downregging? i have read it a lot but never knew what it meant.
Secondly I would do the glastonbury. your relationship is more important than anything. Chill out for a while and start next time. The donor sperm things sounds amazing! only in America as they say! it is so open, exactly what you want isnt it.
Good luck with all your choices!

Hi Ailz

From what I understand, downregging is when they put you back on the contraceptive pill to 'switch off' your normal bodily processes. They then kick start you, so no waiting for mother nature to do her bit. Some of the Pro's on here will correct me if I'm wrong though.

Thanks LL. Seems you're thinking along the same lines as me that I need to look after myself psychologically aswell as physically .

I think now I know what's happening with us, I'll be here at lot more often. Just found it so hard some days that I often didn't even lurk , so I know I've missed loads of updates.

From now until Glastonbury, I'll try to keep myself limited to stressing over a major timetable clash - Blur or Prodigy? A tough one !

You're all amazing, supporting each other through your treatments. It's important to keep believing it will work and to stay positive. Hypnotherapy is a wonderful way of coping with treatment more easily and by reducing stress levels your body is more likely to feel the time is right for pregnancy. I'd be happy to answer any questions you have about hypnotherapy for fertility - feel free to email me on [email protected]. All the best, x

Thanks for those explanantions guys, I thought i knew a lot about IVF, but i guess you cant know everything!
I suppose i am on the short protocol, because i am on Gonal F and then orgalutron or something. 12 days. Scan monday.
Took daughter to first ballet lesson today and the teacher was pregnant!!!!!!! they are everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! !!!!!!!

Hi girls, only have very sporadic internet access here at my parents' place but wanted to quickly check in again.

Mowmi, I'm so happy everything turned out so well, I was really hoping that the clinic just got it wrong, but how terrible to scare you for no reason.

Lottie, I think it's a good idea to avoid your annoying friends, it's just not worth your time and energy. I had v bad pregnancy sickness with dd so I can really sympathise with you, I would live on cream crackers and cornflakes for over a month. it will pass though and then you'll hopefully feel brill and enjoy your pg more.

Ailz, I know exactly how you feel, sometimes I come home from the playground all depressed because everyone there has at least 2 children. it makes me feel so jealous...and inadequate.

Glastochick, I would do glasto first and move your ivf for 1 month if you can bear the thought of waiting. some people feel rubbish when downregging (although many feel fine) and you wouldn't have much fun there with a killer headache.

gilly, what a pain about your follow up I would have been so annoyed, getting annoyed just thinking about it. But good to hear that at leat you didn't get pushed back on the waiting list, that's the main thing.

Now my situation is slightly confusing. did my test on sat and BFN, of course. so took the flight yesterday and have been waiting for af ever since, have had loads of pms cramps. anyway am 14 dpo now and still no af, but feeling like it's just round the corner. Was wondering if the progesterone could be causing the delay, have nver had luteal phase > 13 days ever. will do another test tomorrow morning, but still not hopeful. not feeling pg at all, and testing 12dpo should have shown at least a fine line shouldn't it? tested 12 dpo when pg with dd and had really strong line then.
I also found a fertility clinic near my parents' house that sounds pretty good so will pay them a visit to have a look at it and get a 2nd opinion about what went wrong this cycle. also want someone to tell me if I'm a hopeless case for ivf and ridiculous as it sounds just cannot wait another week to find out.
Also, was feeling quite smart to escape post bfn glumness by taking a little holiday only to meet my cousin on my first day here and could't fail to miss her bump. she is a few years younger than me AND her dd has only just turned 1. It really was my turn now, feeling like the family looser. so there we go, I'm depressed again. And I really want to know what's going on with this cycle!!

Oh and Caitni, good luck for your EC tomorrow!!!

oh duplomania we all seem to be suffering the 'relatives and friends pregnant at the drop of a hat' problem. it just comes out of nowhere doesnt it. I did 4 rounds of clomid in the past and found that the progesterone did tend to hold the af at bay for a while, occasionally, not always. but i understand the dilema of whether to stop the progesterone too early and you could be pg. oh the dilemas. although i really think you should have a positive by now. i dont know. good luck with it. sorry not much help.
Caitni, good luck with EC!

((Hug)) Ailz and Duplo. Hi Flibberty and Lottie .

Ladylush - 7 weeks and counting . I don't have a date for nuchal yet, first midwife appt on 16th. I do have a research scan on 1st July though.

Glasto - I'm going to Glastonbury too. There's an MN meet up being arranged on the pg thread. I've heard the Prodigy crowds can get quite lairy, esp during Smack my b up, so have decided to avoid them - don't want to risk an elbow in the belly. Really looking forward to Nick Cave.

Very thankful to MN today as just booked a fab cottage in the lakes for my September holiday using the mn discount - the cottage didn't show up on main website, but appeared when I tried to book a different one through the mn link, but this one is much better . Now I'm feeling guilty, cottage sleeps 6 so feel like should offer friends/family to come too, but really enjoy my holidays alone and, all being well, it will be my last one.

Issy - hope the next 7 weeks go quickly for you The lakes are lovely - hope you have a great holiday Don't feel guilty - plenty of time for that when you have dc

ok another bfn this morning at 15 days dpo, so that is it then. I had hadly slept all night because of the excitement, really started to believe that I might have been lucky, how stupid of me, I should know by now that I can't make babies any more

Hi girls

well, bad news from me too I'm afraid - BFN on Sat, and BFN again on the official test this morning. No possible wriggle room, as now it's 14 dpET, 17 dpEC. Very very sad and struggling not to be bitter. Afraid we'll never get another chance, as with a FSH of 15 I wasn't even predicted to respond to stims, so it was a miracle that we got to ET. I kind of thought this was going to happen - it sounds daft, but from the middle of last week I couldn't visualise the embies or connect with them anymore, so suspected the worst, even though I tried to ignore the feeling.

It's such a small, unremarkable thing to want, isn't it? It's only what the human race has been doing for millenia, in fact, with eating and sleeping, it's the only thing we know for sure we've been doing. If I had some massive aspiration to rule the world, win Pop Idol, swim the Atlantic etc, I might expect failure, but to have such a normal, unexeptional hope flattened seems unreasonably cruel, somehow.

Hey ho. Good luck to Caitni today.

(((((((((((((((Bumpless and Duplo)))))))))))
It just isn't f*cking fair. I'm so so sorry and can only imagine how you must be feeling. Sometimes the unfairness of it all makes you physically ache doesn't it. Please don't give up hope. When it finally does happen for you, all this horribleness will evaproate in to a dark distant memory.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh, Duplo and Bumpless, I'm so sorry to hear your news. Things like that really suck, and it's hard to see anything but the bleak side Thinking of you.

I have made an appointment to see my consultant next Thursday afternoon to get the results from my bloodtests and discuss what happens next. Luckily I'm going to be in Sweden staying with friends until the Thursday morning, so that will hopefully keep my mind off the topic in the meantime. Yeah, right.

Just popped in to say so sorry to Bumpless and Duplo - Lottie is right though - took 2nd attempt for me to get BFP too.
Make sure you both get feedback from your current clinic before you make any moves to new ones - Bumpless I don't know where you are in the world but have you thought about going to see Geeta Nargund at Create? I think she's very supportive of ladies with higher FSH?

Look after yourselves x

Just a quick message ladies - sorry for the radio silence, am trying to avoid the internet (keep googling all the things that can go wrong ).

Massive hugs to Bumpless & Duplo ((((hugs))). Am so sorry to hear that it's not good news for you both .

I had EC today and (despite being convinced I had no eggs) I got a decent haul of mature eggs (and one immature one). Feeling OK - bit tender but reckon I'm playing that up for DH's benefit (he's just popped out to pick up some parecetmol after making me a hot water bottle ).

Fingers crossed that they fertilise overnight - roll on that call from the embryologist!

Sorry for the me me me post - I'll catch up properly later when I'm brave enough to trust myself on t'interweb again. In the meantime, big waves to everyone and thanks for all your support and wise words - I appreciate it more than I can say .

Bumpless and duplo i feel your pain as only we can. however i heard an inspirational story today from my mum. she told me about a woman in our home town who is 47 and has just given birth to twins, naturally. she also has a 19 month old child conceived naturally. she was infertile all of her married life over 15 years. she received 2 courses of ivf and they failed. nature just kicked in and gave her three babies under 2! i dont know what age you guys are, and i know you dont want to wait until you are 45+ to have babies, but it makes you think and maybe hope a little. dont give up on your ovaries or they might just give up on you! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bumpless & duplo - sending you both huge hugs. I know this rollercoaster can seem like a sickening never ending journey, but I am keeping my fingers crossed it will work for you. In the meantime, give yourselves time to be angry, cry and grieve. Getting pregnant is all consuming, especially when those around you get pregnant just by breathing. Keep in mind that fertility treatment does work. Hopefully some of the recent successes prove this, although I know it is heartbreaking for you too.

I have had to use donor eggs for both my PG's. But never for once have I felt that this was the wrong decision for me.

remember we are here for you.

caitni-- glad that EC went well, keeping fingers crossed for a good fertilisation rate, will you be going for a 3 or 5 day transfer?

Hope the rest of you ladies are ok?

Hello all,

Just returned from my three week tour of too many cities and too much family - but back home in Hawaii now and right back into the swing of things!

I did 6 days of gonal-f while I was away, returned to CD 10 scan on Monday, and they found a follie on the good side (open tube) that was 21mm! So the doc decided to give me the trigger shot last night - scheduled for IUI tomorrow! (fingers crossed!!!)

I'll have to spend some time catching up with all of you.

Duplo so sorry to hear about your BFN, after that it just takes all the wind out of your sails... good news is that there are more big winds out there!

LL are you still doing fine???

BFN from me too.

Sorry Sootykalucy. Hope you are coping ok? Take a break. Eat a box of chocs and start again later. It always feels so final doesnt it. but you know when you wake up tomorrow you will feel a bit more positive.
Duplo and bumpless are you ok?
Hi islegrin. Hawaii sounds nice. it is pouring with rain here in London. We are moving to Dubai later in the year and it cannot come soon enough. hoping to be pregnant before then! there is nothing like a deadline to make you feel pressure.! I dont mind rain and snow and wind - IN WINTER! but not in summer. i find it so depressing. i have a 3 year old who wants to go to the park and she cant so she is rattling around the house, which doesnt help things. This could turn into a thread about weather and get our minds off BFNs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx to everyone