Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 3 - all welcome

[Caitni]

Right ladies, time for a new thread.

And a big welcome to everyone . Here's to many more success stories and healthy pregnancies!

Bumpless, Duplo hang in there. I've had no blood yet so I am crawling my way out of yesterday's trough. I rang a friend who said she'd tested negative until she was 7 days late so that cheered me up - and I have never had a good record with those wee sticks, they never gave me a full ovulation reading either!

I've decided not to test on Saturday though, I have a big party that night and a negative test and all associated anger/depression might lead me to have a few drinks. No blood no testing no drinking is my new mantra. . . good luck for you guy's on Saturday, I will be crossing my fingers but not posting until Monday as I'm going away . . .

God the whole relax theme! Don't get me started. My favourite Dr on the NHS said to me, now don't worry about getting stressed, if stress was a factor in this business IVF would never ever work!

Gillydaffodil I really empathise with your frustration at being cancelled, I got home from holiday early in order to meet an appointment and opened my mail to find they had cancelled the appointment - and only put a letter into the post - I'd had my phone on in case of this. I mean for god's sake, my hair dresser rings to confirm an appointment, you'd think a cancellation would warrant a phone call!

Ladies, thanks for all you lovely messages!! Put myself in bed at 9 last night and had my first good nights sleep in days! Rushing out to work now.... will catch up with you all at the weekend.
x

Oh summermagic I so feel your pain. Secondary subfertility is really tough in the fact that you feel you should be grateful you have a child but it does not change your longing for another one. It is normal and OK to feel like that. I can say for me all those friends getting pregnant has now subsided and most of those pregnancies are not having their second birthdays, but I remember how tough it was to put on a brave face and say congratulations, while quietly hurting and wanting to yell "WHY ISN'T IT ME".

For me I am now finally coming to terms with my DS being an only child and I have so enjoyed watching him grow without the distractions and stress of a second baby. I still want another and we are trying various things, and might have another go at IVF in the autumn, but I think I am resigned to 1 being my lot.

I have found everyone on this thread so understanding and supportive even when I have felt guilty about posting. knowing that for many they are trying for their first child. It is OK.

Have a good cry, and then you will feel a bit better. (I also like to have some comfort choclate at the ready too)

Summermagic i know exactly how you feel. i went to dinner with two friends recently. one has a son much younger than my daughter and i hadnt spoken to her in about 6 months, but before i went i texted my other friend who knows about my fertility strugges and said 'i just know 'friend' is going to say she is pregnant, i can feel it somewhere inside' and also said same to dh. i had absolutely no evidence just intuition and i was right. as soon as we arrived she said 'i wont be drinking i am 15 weeks pregnant'. i just went cold and wanted to shout 'no, it is my turn, you have a young baby!' but i didnt, i congratulated her and resisted the urge to text my dh. he takes these things worse than me actually. it is a unique feeling isnt it. dont cry. where is the law that says we have to be happy when someone says they are pregnant? i have never heard of it.
Lottie i felt my body go hot with anger at your story about the 'super sperm' people. i dont know how you resisted punching them, or at least storming out. how rude and insensitive. those words are just not good enough. you are completely justified in not visiting them or being around them. i believe people like that will get their just come-uppance one day. oh i am so cross!

Summermagic big (((hugs))) to you sweetie. As everyone's said, you're not alone as we've all had those moments...it's like grief at the life you expected not working out. Perfectly healthy but horrible to deal with.

NappyValley good to hear from you . It sounds like you're processing things in a good way but the longing for a child is so hard to deal with it at times - hope the TCM is helping.

Mowmi glad you've had a good night's sleep - bet you're still so happy

Gilly at the cancelled app - how annoying! Glad that they're backdating your funding app (it's the very least they could do in the circumstances).

Sooty glad to hear you're a bit more positive. It's probably a good idea not to test on Sat so you can just enjoy the party. And what your NHS doc said about stress is one of the most sensible things I've heard. Good point about the hairdressers - quite shocking to think that it's all done by post in this day and age . Have a good weekend away!

Lottie I remember those friends of yours from my lurker days cos I was so at their insensitivity and general self-centredness (didn't they tell you when she was five mins pregnant because of eggs in a dessert or some other such spurious excuse?). Totally understandable that you want to give them a wide berth in my book! I also have a friend that I (shamefully) avoided all through her pregancy and haven't met her son yet (born in Dec). When we started trying at Christmas/NY 2007 she told me they had just decided to ttc so I told her were were also ttc (they got married a week after us in summer 2007 so we were both like "ooh we got married in the summer and now we're going to have babies soon ooh" - oh for those innocent days!). It was hearing via text that she was preg in early June 2008 that tipped me into such a gloom about ttc that I eventually stumbled on MN. I haven't told her about the IVF (mainly as I've avoided her so successfully!) but I still just don't want to face her until I have at least a bump of my own. Irrational really (it's not like I want her baby or anything) but I no longer feel bad about it. It's just life that out of the 20+ babies that friends and family have had since that Christmas it's just this one baby I can't face . And don't feel bad about complaining about MS! I'm such a wimp that if I was suffering I'd be moaning to the world . It's a good sign of hormones but hoping you don't suffer too much with it. And roll on 11 June so you get to see your two bubs again

NPA Waiting for results is horrible (I was convinced my AMH would be terrible). But it's the best way for the doctors to get a sense of how to treat you. Horrible as it seems now, you'll be glad of it when your doc has a better plan for getting you pregnant. Big (((hugs))) to you too lovely.

Ailz great news about starting Sun or Mon! How long will you be downregging for? Everyone says this but time'll fly once you start - I feel like things hit warp speed once I actually started tx!

Namechanger thanks for the inspirational story!

Bumpless hope you're doing well

And big waves to everyone else - I'm very forgetful today so bet I missed someone off - if so, then apologies!

I've now got EC confirmed for Tues. So after Sunday night's pregnyl trigger shot I'll be drug free (until the prog pessaries start at least). rying to contain my excitement and not think too far ahead. Let's just see how many eggs they get and how many fertilise and how they develop before I start thinking too much about when ET will be.

Anyway, I've been worse than useless at work today so time for me to hop off home. Hope everyone has a fab weekend!
xxx

Oh my fcking God Lottie. Where do these twts live? I want to come and punch them myself. Well, they might have had the perfect conception/pregnancy/birth but they're going to have a bloody shock now because, as delightful as they are, there's no such thing as the perfect child. They're going to run in to breastfeeding issues/colic/sleep problems/tantrums at some point or another and when they do I hope you'll be there to bloody gloat. They sound pure evil.

Thank you all so so so so much for your really lovely words. It made me feel so much better and it's so nice to be able to say things without the fear of being judged.

Kitten - I think not testing until Monday is a good idea. You can enjoy the party and then when you test on Monday you'll know either way for sure.

Caitni - I can't believe that's come round so quickly. You'll be testing in no time too. I have everything crossed for you and sending you loads of lucky wishes.

Ailz - good luck for starting with starting your meds. I hope it all goes smoothly for you.

NappyValley - your strength is inspiring. Hope you don't have to be strong for too much longer though. xx

Oh - and another thing on the "relax" point. One of the pregnancies I found out about this week is a fifth pregnancy. Her two youngest are one year old twins, she is in a fairly bad relationship and she is the most stressed out, frantic person I have ever met. And she got pregnant on the bloody pill. Also - if stress was such an enormous issue - how do people get pregnant in war zones?

Off on a hen night tomorrow morning so huge big luck for this weekend's testers. I will be thinking of you.

xxxxxxxxx

Hi all

Just a quick update before I go rest my weary head. Had my 1st scan today and....................................IT'S TWINS!

So far so good. I'm 6 1/2 weeks today and feeling very pregnant. Got to have fortnightly scans for the next few weeks. We're like 2 cheshire cats!

Lots of baby sut to you all. Will catch up properly soon.

Thanks! Yes, there seem to be lots. Many at my clinic in fact. I'm off to a fertility support group on Wed, so am looking forward to that. Got a little picture of my liddle fellas. Was so nice to see their little hearbeats

Hi lovely girls, wow, what a lot's going on!

Gilly I was soooo pissed off for you about the appointment story! somehow it's not that a mistake was made, which we know happens to everyone, it's the crassness with which something which meant the world to you gets turned over so causally, and you're utterly powerless to do anything about it! Although it sounds like you've wrested control back very well with the backdating etc, but still, I can feel how gutting it must have been for you. Grrrrr to them!

Summer I've so been there, and I do so feel for you. When my friend told me she got pregnant on the first attempt and then turned out to be having twins, right after we'd been diagnosed with unexplained infertility, I couldn't see her for months - I was glad for her of course but all the feelings you described just took over and I couldn't face it. Those twins are now my godchildren and delightful, but there was a patch there where all I could feel was 'why not me...' And LL! These people sound absolutely toxic! I can't work out if they're brutally insecure and need to compete with everyone to be perfect, or just crashingly complacent and insensitive, but either way, gotta wonder how they've survived this long! So sorry about your morning sickness - nausea is one of the worst feelings in the world, somehow, hope all the tips work.

What wonderful news EMZIB! we seem to be on a fantastic roll here! How exciting for you, huge big congratulations!

Namechange, that's such a lovely story, thank you for sharing! Of course, if I have to wait 8 years after starting TTC I'll be 47... hope I don't have to!

Good luck withthe meds Ailz, i promise it'll be easier than it seems at first! I don't know if you go in for such things, but I listened to Zita West's CD every day to help visualise things going well, which gave me some nice focussed downtime and made me feel like I was helping. You can order it off her website.

So 3 more days of growing the perfect number of eggs, to the perfect size, in perfect condition for fertilisation Caitni! Good luck!!!!!

Glad you're feeling better Sooty. You should absolutely test when you want to and not a second before - the last thing you need in all this is more pressure and artificial deadlines! Have a fab party.

Went to my PA's DH's funeral today. It was as grim as it could be, for such a young person, but very well handled and quite inspiring too. Made me think that if this doesn't work out, I need to have a big think about what I'm going to spend the next few years doing, maybe living in clinics and obsessing abouyt TTC needs to have a shelf life...

EMZIB - more twins!! Wow, congratulations!!

Lottie it sounds like the toxic couple are good at pushing your particular buttons, whether by accident or design, but I wouldn't be too worried about that. I have a friend who rubs me the wrong way all the time too - naturally she and her husband fell pregnant in their first month trying, naturally she told me straight away, she kept saying to me "You won't know this but when you're trying to concieve....blah blah blah" and even when I told her about the fact that we'd been trying for two years and were starting IVF she kept on at it, and now rings me all the time to talk about her pregnancy. I just don't want to hear it, I really don't, and it is me, not her, she has every right to be excited but I'm not bothered about feeling guilty about it. She has made no attempt to be sensitive to me, so why should I make the effort when she won't? (of course I could sum that up as me being "mardy bitch and proud of it" )

Congrats EMZIB
Mowmi - fantastic news Obviously I can't take the credit for Mother Nature doing an amazing job but remember I did tell you not to give up hope I can totally relate to that shock you felt when the sonographer said the pregnancy is viable
LondonLottie - have you tried tonic water? It's supposed to be good for ms because of the quinine. I didn't get ms so luckily didn't need to try it - can't abide tonic water Glad all is going well. Ignore the smug bastards - like summermagic says they'll get their just desserts with a challenging baby or toddler. 4 hours labour start to finish Think I'd want to punch em too

Congrats EMZIB

and to Lottie as I missed the post about twins before.

As for me the TCM is starting to work in the right direction. My eggs are now releasing at the right time and my last cycle my LP was up to 10 days.

So who knows. But one thing I would say is that no matter what I have taken (clomid included} nothing has had any effect, but acupuncture and chinese medicine are definitely having an effect.

LL - I agree and would make the same decision. Competitive parents always make me want to run for the hills. I remember reading a thread on babies who don't sleep (a subject I am much familiar with - unfortunately) and so many people were commenting on how other parents esp. mums had exaggerated how well their babies sleep. I just don't get it. Why? I was very happy to tell any poor sod who would listen that ds was a terrible sleeper and that consequently I almost lost my sanity

Just a quick hello from me - been a comedy relaxed weekend but have been avoiding t'interweb (I'm at the irrational fear stage about things like having no eggs or getting none fertilised so am trying to avoid any risk of googling and making myself feel worse ).

Took my trigger shot at half ten tonight so all set for EC on Tues. I have a monstrously busy day at work tomorrow so will be glad to get that out of the way so I can (try) to switch off the work stress. And am glad that I'll now be drug free til the pessaries start.

Hope everyone had a good weekend. EMZIB yay to more twins!! Big congrats to you - you must be delighted

Ladylush god, competitive parents bragging about their perfect kids do my head in already - I'll be with you running for the hills if anyone pulls that sort of carry on with me when I finally become a mum

Big waves to everyone else .

Sooty - Fingers crossed for you testing this weekend. Hope it was a good result.
Mowmi - Bet you're still on cloud 9.
Lottie - at the competitive parents. Good luck for your scan on Thursday and hope the sickness is under control. Ginger oatcakes are working for me. Surprised at 2 hours for nuchal scan as I read that 30 mins is maximum safe time - maybe it's just 2 hours for whole appointment but scan is only part of it.
Caitni - Good luck for EC for Tuesday.
EMZIB - Congrats on twins .
Duplo - Did you test yesterday or are you waiting until tomorrow? Good luck.
Summer - How was the hen night? at your consultant. Happy BDing this week.
Flibberty - Hope you enjoyed your week away.
Gilly - at your clinic. Glad that they've at least agreed to backdate the forms.
NPA - Good luck for your blood tests.
Ladylush - How are things with you?
Rattling - Congratulations on the birth of your twins .
Lissielou - Welcome. I am a former Clomid taker. Was very lucky and only had a few headaches and one hot flush as side effects in 3 months of taking it.
Bumpless - Nice to see you again. Sorry to hear about the funeral. Did you test yesterday? Good luck. I too have had similar Cyclogest side effects though I thought the lack of sleep was due to sore boobs and the constipation has eased by itself over the last few days.
Ailz - Welcome to the thread.
Namechange - Thanks for the positive story.
NappyValley - Great news on LP and ovulation.

Sorry my catch up was a brief point for everyone this evening. I didn't have time to reread the whole thread since I last posted personals, so just focused on everyone's last post. Don't worry if I go a long time without posting as the tiredness is making me want to just come home and go to bed and I'm having to force myself to stay up long enough to eat and do the Cyclogest.

Take care everyone and good luck xxx

Lottie Oh my god i am laughing so much at those horrible people! they are just awful, horrible, smug idiots! i was punching and high kicking along with you! how full of their own smugness! i will stop now, but i will think of them all day grrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh...
it is terrible to say, but i agree with Summermagic, their day will come. I have seen the most together people crumble with a baby who wont sleep or eat ha ha ha sorry.
Summermagic I know, those people who get pregnant at the drop of a hat, with nightmare lives, relationships, dont even want another baby really. it is tough to watch but it has happened since the dawn of time. i suppose we should be happy that we are not in that situation. they only have one thing that we want. ok one very big important thing.
Caitni thanks, started Sunday and injections are not too bad actually, it is the dam headaches! i just knew i would get them. should hear when first scan is later today.
Emzib congratulations, that is just fabulous news.. twins... excellent! take care of yourself.
i will read rest of thread later. i have a 3 year old who is not impressed with me.

WOWEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LL - OMFG I am soooo excited for you, EMZIB you too. what a wonderful miracle, disregard all the bollox of "OMG, how will you cope, when you start to tell people" -- I have a friend who has two sets of twin boys (conceived naturally, 18months apart), but she copes amazingly well. I am so happy for you

Mowmi -- I am delighted for you too. I saw the original post and my heart sank and quickly skipped forwards about 4 days. Really happy for you

Issy - you too - hope you are managing with the tiredness, it will ease, but only for a short while and then you will want to sleep like I do all the time again.

Hope the rest of you gals are ok? trying to catch up, but am being crap and trying to do the washing at the same time! -

Had a busy week, my idiot DH lost our pushchair, well he forgot to put it in the boot after a shopping trip. I was carrying a clingy whingy toddler and apparently it was my fault . We drove off without it, and it contained over £200 worth of baby clothes, plus my little girls "lose on the pain of death" bunny. F*ing nightmare, we went back 15mins later, but some skank had nicked it. I wouldn't mind, but the maclaren was 3rd hand and falling to bits and who wants to keep an earchewed rabbit!?

Anyway, DH has not been in good books for the holiday. Plus he didn't look after DD once, nor give her breakfast,lunch, dinner or put her to bed or give her a bath, or wake up for her during the night. Hmmmm and he wonders why I am soo angry! The one day we went to a lake witha manmade beach, he just laid back and closed his eyes. GRRRRRR... right rant over.

The one delightful thing is coming back to a lovely, clean house, cos my mum looked after the dog and cats and she unleashed her power of cleaning upon my skirting boards, bless her. I love her to bits. Now got to send her some flowers.

ANYONE NEED A DH? - I have a spare going. However, he needs a flippin' chip change and some behaviour adjustment.

hugs and love to you all and take it easy all you mums to be...

flibberty how gutting. Your h has got a cheek blaming you. And I bet you were more bothered about the bunny rabbit - what good is that to anyone apart from your dd

Issy - I'm ok thanks. Got about 7 weeks left at work so happy about that. Glad the ginger oat cakes are helping with the nausea When is your nuchal?

Caitni I think those competitive parents are just competitive anyway but they just seem even more unbearable when they have kids. I know a woman like this. She talks about her kids non-stop......"X can do this, Y can do that, they're very advanced you know......yadah yadah" Yawn

Waves to everyone.

Some new faces I see.

Congrats to Lottie and Emzib on the news of twins. One of my old girlfriends is due to give birth to twins in early November after being on Clomid, so I think I can sympathise with what a shock and joy it has been to find this out. I must point her to these boards actually. Mowmi, congratulations are well overdue for you too

News from me - after DH's failed TESA and MESA, we have decided against him going for further investigations under GA. There is a very very slim chance of finding anything, and the not knowing of when he will next be seen on the NHS isn't going to help us. Unfortunately, this whole infertility rollercoaster has put such a strain on our relationship I've been really worried about us. Our clinic has recommended the sperm donor route, but the waiting list in the UK could mean a wait of over a year to find a match. They have recommended a clinic in the US where you can actually see pictures of the donors, read their psychological profiles, find out about their hobbies and interests, and even their family background (siblings, parents and grandparents). It's quite amazing really. Not all donors are 'open', so choices are limited, but there were still enough for us to make a shortlist. Unfortunately, our 'favourite' is all maxed out on families (shame, because he could be a younger brother to DH in the looks department, and appeared to have a very similar personality and set of interests). So we've gone for our 2nd choice who looks similar to DH (in both childhood and adult photos) but is more similar to me personality wise (our 3rd choice looked just like DH as a child, but as an adult was quite different. Still, he was rather dishy so we decided the differences in looks didn't matter so much !)

So we're all set for our 1st IVF cycle. We could have started with the downregging already, but I want to wait until after Glastonbury. They have said no drinking at all during downregging, and in the run up to downregging it's ok to have one or two glasses of wine, but no more. So should I wait until CD1 on the cycle after before I start? I'd love to start as soon as possible, but at the same time both DH and I realise that we need Glasto to let loose a little and get our heads sorted.

What would you do?