Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 3 - all welcome

[Caitni]

Right ladies, time for a new thread.

And a big welcome to everyone . Here's to many more success stories and healthy pregnancies!

Thankyou ladies. I will start concentrating on job. But first a fairly last minute trip to legoland with DSs! That will keep me busy. It may be taking the therapeutic effects of lego a bit far but why not. Have a lovely weekend. I will be back on Sunday!
GW x

Aloha all,

Just a quick update - just got back from scan and on my way to work now...

Right side = 6 fols (10-19mm)
Left side = 4 fols (14mm) with 6 more little ones that they're going to try to develop.

They gave me more drugs, and next scan is on Tuesday with EC probably on Thursday!

Sooty - you are next!

Good news Islegrin, wish I had yours.

My scan was disapointing, only two follicles and both on the same side (left) which is bad news for me because I only ever seem to produce one egg on each side regardless of follicles. I wish there was a theory about empty follicles and what that meant, it's all annoyingly vague . . . Came home and had a good cry with DP . . . now off to buy some camping equipment (After we had an argument about why I wasnt' allowed to go and get a puppy from the dogs home). Rationality has left the building. . .

Hello ladies, Just popping in to say congratulations to Flibberty! Glad he's here and you are both doing well.

For those who remember me I'm 20 weeks now and having a little blue one!

Wishing you all lots of luck!

Sooty - fingers crossed for you - I demanded a puppy after I had the miscarriage in January...can very much recommend it! Gave me something else to think about and fuss over! He's our first born furbaby!

x

Sooty HUGE HUGS!!! I'm so sorry that you didn't have a better result this time. How frustrating that you don't know why the follicles are empty! Take some time, take a hot bath, sip some good wine and pamper yourself. What do you think is your next step?

I think getting a dog is a wonderful idea. (I'm sure your DH wants to kick me right now!) I working on one for November (3yr old Lab from my mother) - I think it would be good either pg or not. It's already giving me something to look forward to and keep some pressure off the IVF thing. So far so good, but after 4.5 years of BFN it's hard to imagine anything else.

mowmi welcome back and congrats! 20 weeks and a boy - how wonderful for you!

Waves to everyone!

Morning ladies! Any ideas on how to make my AF hurry up and arrive. I'm going slightly mad here! Don't feel pg, but tested anyway - BFN - just need to slap myself in the face with it I think so I don't start wondering...

12 days late now. Arrrgh!

Sooty - I agree with Islegrin about the puppy. It would be good for you. I got a kitten when going through TTC hell with my DD (now 3) and it was a great tonic. You need something to focus all your maternal energies on - guess you know that though - now how to twist your DH's arm...?

Islegrin well done on the scan - you sound so positive. Godd luck

Hi, I had my first scan today. Well, they found 3 follicles, one good and 2 small. Guess I should be happy because that's 2 more than last time, but what if the small ones don't catch up? Later on they called me to tell me that my E2 levels were very low, less than 400 so I'm a bit down now. I was sooo hoping that a change of protocol would help. well I guess it's still early days, but last time round things didn't improve vastly after my first scan (they found one more follicle later on) so I'm not overly hopeful.
I had a chat with dp and we're both in agreement that we should push for EC regardless of nr of follicles (clinic normally convert to iui if less than 4) because otherwise we still won't know any more about the quality of my eggs. and since I see this as a diagnostic cycle it is really important for me to come out of this knowing more than before.

Sorry sooty to hear that your scan didn't go that well either. Do you think the number could still go up? What did the drs say? I had my first scan after 4 days of injections, therefore day 7 of my cycle, is that early? will have another one on tuesday.

wow islegrin, that's not long to EC now, you must be excited. and with all those follies I'm sure you'll get a good nr of eggs too. All my injections go in the tummy, I tried one in my thigh and it hurt much more. way more flab on my belly I guess, my legs are fairly muscular. I have to do them myself too, my dp faints whenever he sees a needle. men, really...

You're probably right lottie, I've been so virtous those last two months, no alcohol, no coffeine, no sweets, loads of organic fruit and veg, wheatgrass, vits - and it didn't seem to get me very far in the end. lost some weight though which is a bonus I guess..

I would say the same gingerwine, go for the job interview, otherwise you'll just keep putting your life on hold. It may also be a nice distraction, give yourself something else to focus on.

Hi all! Our internet connection at home died this week which has been dreadful - we've had to actually chat to each other - but one new router yesterday and we're back online!

Hi Mowmi! Fabulous news that all is going well and you're having a boy! You can start arguing about names now!

Congratulations on your new arrival Flibberty!! I hope your family is having fun getting to know the new arrival!

Bumpless good luck with figuring out what to do - not an easy situation at all. I agree with you that having the one cycle when you did get to ET must muddy the waters dreadfully. I hope you find the counselling helpful.

Gingerwine, best of luck for Monday's appointment, I hope it goes better than you're thinking. I have to say my job has been an absolute godsend in the course of this year - having something to occupy my mind and energies for 5 days of the week saves me from so much angst.

Great news about your follicles Islegrin and I hope yours keep growing and more develop Sooty. I think a puppy sounds excellent, pets are fabulous stress relievers (she says typing with a big fluffy, purring white cat blissed out from having his tummy tickled stretched next to her ).

Glad to hear the move has gone well and you're feeling settled, Lottie. I'll have to figure out to how find the pictures you've uploaded of your girls! Such sad news about your friend, it must be very hard to have passed the 12 week stage when you must think you can relax a bit, and then have to deal with that. . You and DH can start arguing about girls' names too! Just don't get carried away with Swiss tastes and follow Roger Federer's lead though (Charlene and Myla ).

So, 5 days to go on my 2WW, I've been veering between negative and positive on a day by day basis so far. I've been generally taking it easy - a bit of walking is the only exercise I've done, and tried not to obssess about any physical twinges. Not that there have been many, to be honest - I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, and so can't stress about it! I decided for this cycle to give up alcohol and caffeine entirely - I didn't bother with the first one, but didn't see it as a big sacrifice to be honest, as I don't drink that much of either normally. Plus I wasn't going out much in August anyway - all my friends seemed to be away!

So, I'll see how the next few days go, and hopefully AF will stay away....

Duplo I'm so glad to hear that you and DH are pushing onwards with IVF, just keep reminding yourselves - it only takes ONE to work. Sounds like in your situation IVF would give you a better chance - and hey! Two more than last time is good! I know it's hard to manage expectations and still be hopeful, just try to keep your chin up.

Sooty I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I remembered something my best friend said to me a couple of years ago when we were ttc with no luck. She said - don't feel guilty or take it personally what your body can't do - it's completely separate. Don't blame yourself for how your body reacts.

These words didn't mean a lot to me then, but they sure do now. I keep reminding myself that they are separate. Who I am, is not my body. My mind, spirit and actions are who I am, the body is just a shell. A shell I am meant to care for (and I personally am trying to make SMALLER - but that's another issue entirely).

Best of luck NPA!!!

Love to all! Going for another scan today - yes, SUNDAY. Weird, I know.

quickie update: disyncronous (sorry for the poor spelling) follicles, so we're going to wait for the 14 smaller ones (now 10-14mm) to mature and probably sacrifice the 3 larger fols. - so that's pretty good news, except EC probably pushed to Friday and ET on Monday.

xx

Hi all, well I didn't get a puppy, and my DP says to tell you all what a lazy morning person I am and how HE will be taking it out to do it's business at 7am! (He's already agreed to do 'mornings' if we have a baby). I have to say I am holding off too, it seems like if we do end up not being able to conceive at least we can indulge in our love of travel (we are thinking 3 months in India and Nepal) as a consolation prize so maybe the animal substitute will have to wait.

Congrats Mowmi. Remember we had our abandoned cycles together last August? Seems a long time ago now.

Good luck with the baby names LL. I can recommend "Eve". It's easy to spell and pronounce and yet not that common (though you might want to look up the lists - it's a lot more common than it used to be). You get a few "Adam" jokes in primary school though, but everybodies got to be bullied for something at some point right?

Hang in there NPA, we need some good news on this thread . . and you too Islegrin, I expect we will head to EC on the same day . .

Duplo, sorry to hear your scan was disappointing too. We are going to EC regardless (oh by the way LL the reason to go to IUI is cost and much less trauma/expectation). I have been wavering on this for a while now and have converted two cycles to IUI in order to get more pop's at it, but I have come down to just wanting to get the best result for this cycle. My Dr does think there are advantages to going to EC and etc. She said the pregnancy rates are significantly higher. The main reason is that there may be fertilization issues even with IUI cutting out the swimming. It does seem like such an awful effort, and so much drama for just a tiny chance, but it's also part of the walking away process . . .

And Duplo I was really glad to hear you had been so good in the build up to your last cycle, made me feel better anyway, as I just continued as normal and was starting to feel guilty. The accupunturist sent me this really annoying report telling me to stop all the bad things etc and if I did she thought there would be a good chance I got pregnant! Where do they get off offering false hope like that! How dare she after 5 years of trying (some of which early on involved the no coffee/alcohol routine) say she can solve it by a few lifestyle changes! AGGH. I am still going to do it around Embryo Transfer because that's where the results are with clinical studies, but she put me off a longer protocol with her.

That's all really, scan tomorrow, but not expecting much. Hoping for two eggs, but not hanging out for it. At this stage I'd be very happy with one embryo put back. Have been thinking a lot about foster-adoption this weekend. I feel like all this IVF desperation for a baby that is genetically mine is turning me into someone I'm not. Hard to explain.

Hi everyone. Especially, Islgrin, Sootykalucy and Duplo. My cycle buddies. I guess we're all around the day 11 stage. I had a scan today and was told i'm nearly there, and possible Egg Collection on thursday. I was so laid back until then and now my insides are doing somersaults!!! .

I have managed to have food poisioning as well as the original nausea and headaches.

Someone asked a few days ago what AMH stands ofor . It's Anti-Mullerian Hormone is used as an indicator of the quality of the woman's ovarian reserve. Hope that helps you look up more details on google/t'net.

I am awaiting a phonecall from my clinic (Barts) to let me know if EC is Thursday or not. Really trying to nonchalant about it all this time around. If I take my eye off the ball and am distracted perhaps it will happen and I'll be overjoyed with my calmness. Anyone that knows me knows whata worrier I am.

Lottie - fantastic news that your are having girls. I have a new cousin named Eva and I thought that was areally pretty name. Her older sisters are Maria and Eleanor(Ellie). I have a penchant for the names Holly/Hollie and Sophie too. Good luck wondering what name will suit them. I would alwasy write the first,middle and surname down on paper and look at the initials. just in case they spelt out something "wrong" you know like CJD or KAC (let's just say that my initials are now KAC!!!!!! tee hee

Hi ladies. Thanks to all of you for the job advice. I can't tell you how much of a difference it makes to have your input. I am going to give the interview my best and keep my fingers crossed. I have a great friend in RL supporting me but you have all encouraged me to go for it. Hugs to all of you.

Meanwhile we had our appointment with our consultant today. He was lovely. He said as my AMH is low it does shorten our odds of a positive response significantly but that he would still think it is worth one go to see what response I get. Even if I only made one egg he likes to give that egg the best shot so he would go ahead with EC anyway. I will be on the antagonist protocol (need to look that up and understand it more!!) and so will only be doing injections etc once my cycle starts. We have an appointment with nurses on 5th October and we can give it a go on the cycle after that. So that's what we are doing and at the moment my aim is simply to grow an egg or two and we will take it from there.

So we are both feeling a bit more positive now. At least we can try.

Hello to all the cyclers. It is exciting hearing about these growing follicles. All the best with more scans this week. Stay positive all of you. Just one good egg could be all it takes.

NPA - Hope you are still managing to not go too mad waiting to find out. When do you test?

Londonlottie - I love the names Eve and Juliet. I also love Ellen.What do you think? Glad you had a lazy weekend. I think you deserve it. You should try and 'bank' relaxation time now because when those two little girls arrive you may not have much time on your hands.

Night night!!

Hi to all those stimmin, I hope you had some good news Duplo. I now have one follicle on my right side but it's too small at 10mm to catch up to my left which is 18mm. A bit disapointing as the second follicle on the left has not grown, so it looks like just one egg . . . still in December last year this is what we were aiming for, we just got lucky a couple of times and got our hopes up for more.

EC is scheduled for Friday, we are going have a bulging 2 week waiting room. KC11 you are up first, put on the kettle . .

Hi all - I'm on ET + 11 days right now, and it is a bit of a topsy turvey place to be. . I'm trying very hard not to think either positively or negatively and have a couple of songs I mentally start playing to distract myself when my mind does inevitably start down those paths! No spotting so far, no symptoms opf an approaching AF, and no other symptoms at all, other than an annoying slowing of my "digestive transit" (as Actimel has helpfully euphemised it!) which I was warned was a side effect of the progesterone. So, ho hum, bring on Friday!

Good luck with the upcoming ECs everyone - wishing you all loads of luck! I'm really glad your specialist is supporting you having a go, Gingerwine, and hopefully it will work well. I much preferred the antagonist protocol to the downregulation, actually - far fewer injections, and it all seemed far more efficient.

Eve and Juliet sound like lovely names Lottie - and they work well for living in Europe too, as the locals won't be mangling them as they try to pronounce them!

Hi sooty. Yes indeed that kettle will be boiling ready for all the people in the 2 week waiting room. Hope you're getting on ok. Were you on a short protocol as well?

Barts rang last night to say EC is Thursday. My stomach is really going on spin cycle. I'm really nervous but my kind boss has said I can book Thurs-Tues off. I had saved loads of leave anyway, but it is very short notice for him. It has all happened so quick this time around. I am working like a blue-ended fly today and tomorrow just to leave my work up to date. You try explaining to the general public why you're suddenly taking four days off that you did not mention last Friday! they are all stressed about when they get to sign the contract for buying their flat/house or selling on and all i'm thinking about is the sickness post-EC!!

good luck with the interview gingerwine. Give it everything. If you're trying to conceive and you get the job and it distracts you it you just might be lucky enough to fall preggers! You know what they about a watched pot! Take your eye off it and in an instant it's boiled!

I really must do my work. Catch up this evening properly.

XX

Oh. NPA I forgot to congraluate you on your wonderful progress. Here's hoping you are pregnant. Fingers crossed. I remember how difficult the 2WW was for me. I only got to day 10 and then AF arrived in full force. I really really hope you're lucky and get good news soon. Would this be your first time being pregnant? I've never been pregnant yet.

Take it easy and keep calm and relaxed.

Crikey, it's exciting in here at the moment, with so many cycling. There will be lots of company for the hand-holding part of the TWW!

Good luck to all the stimmers, I hope that you all get top quality eggs . And I hope that the stimming mood swings aren't too bad. Good luck for egg collection for you all.

NPA wishing you so much luck for testing. Do you have an "official" test date? For what it's worth, I had precisely no symptoms and didn't really "feel" pregnant until a bit of nausea hit around week 8. But that's because I excluded the progesterone side effects of sore (.)(.) and a slow "digestive transit" as not being "proper" symptoms iykwim. Anyway, to get to 11 days post-ET is positive and I'll stay hopeful for you [fingers crossed emoticon]

Lottie two girls!! How utterly wonderful . Am loving the provisional names btw (and yes, please do avoid the Fed's influence in names ). And glad to hear you got to have a relaxing weekend - after all the hecticness of the last few weeks (or months...or whole year ) you deserve all the relaxation time you can get.

Flibberty huge congrats on the birth of your son . Haven't managed to make it far back enough on the thread to see the actual announcement (blardy work is busy!) but am assuming it went well and you are enjoying being a mum of two now

Big waves to everyone else.

Am off to the states to see in-laws for over two weeks, leaving Thurs night. I'll be offline but will have to track down a computer to see how everyone gets on with egg collection etc.

PS big congrats to Mowmi too - a baby boy - how exciting!

Hello Ladies
I went into lurk mode in an effort to get my head to switch off from the endless what do we do cycle, but like Mummycat and Gingerwine said, it's in my head every second I'm not actually speaking about something else, so no such luck! Was supposed to go to Zita West's for nutrition appt today but they cancelled, boo.

Mummycat so sorry to hear about your m/c and how badly it affected you. I may be way off beam here, but have you considered talking to someone about the trauma? The sequence of awful m/c, being v upset and repressing it for 2 years, AF playing up, and you clearly being v drained and stressed now sounds a bit like those scenarios you read about where buried issues get in the way of a natural pregnancy. At the very least it might make the whole thing less stressful if you were able to get to a point when it didn't wake you up in the night! LL had some relaxation CD recommendations I remember, which might help. I will now remove my nose from your business!

Islegrin LOL to you stabbing yourself! I did that too whenever DH couldn't do my injections, as well as injecting a nice air bubble which left a ginormous bruise. I vaguely remember an ambition to go into medicine when I was at school, hmm, wonder how that would have worked out... Great response to the stims, good for you!

Gingerwine I'm so glad you decided to go for the job. The whole putting your life on hold thing is such a recipe for disaster. Very good luck for the interview! And it sounds like your consultant's clued in to what you're going through and has a good attitude about giving you a chance too, which is great news. I think the one you're on is basically the short protocol - I've done this each time. Fewer drugs involved but you have to be ready to go at a moment's notice, whenever AF shows up!

Sooty I was interested in what you said about the desperation for a genetically linked child turning you into someone you're not. I feel the same, somehow I seem to have lost all perspective and ability to judge the situation, and randomly bust into tears or explode in resentment - poor DH. And I hope you get your puppy! I'd have put in a serious bid for one after the last cycle if my two cats wouldn't have had major issues with the idea. Hope those 2 follies do their thing.

Same for you too Duplo - grow grow grow!

Re the deprivation conversation, this is another one I don't know what to think about. I'd been off alcohol, caffeine, sugar and most non-organic food, and taking a bucket load of supplements, for 5 months when we had our best cycle. The first one, I'd only been on the health kick for a month. The last one, I'd gone into sod it mode and was having some of the bad stuff. No idea whether it's just a coincidence that the only cycle that went well was the one where I was living like a saint! Inclined to grasp at straws and try to replicate it, but heeding the warnings about ending up blaming yourself for having a cup of tea in the middle of a 5 hour meeting and thinking you've ruined the rest of your life...

Mowmi so nice to hear about your little blue bump!

LL I can't believe you're about to embark on another move! A chill-out weekend is the least you deserve! LOL to being someone that Things Like This Happen To - can completely see how disbelieveing you must be that you're finally thinking about this stuff. Beautiful working titles for the baby gals (especially Eve, love it, it's related to the name I've got picked for a baby girl if I ever have one - I'll tell you all what it is if/when it happens!). The crucial thing, to avoid at all costs, is not to get wrapped up in the whole Swiss thing and end up with a Heidi. This nearly took over my parents when I turned up, I had a narrow escape and feel I should pass this on!

NPA oooh! Sounds like you're doing very well but the impendingness of it all must be getting rather acute! I so hear you about the digestive transit going into super-slow-mo, naaaaasty. Everything's crossed for the next few days. when do you think you'll test?

KC11 good luck for EC on Thurs! Nerves are understandable but just look forward to that fab anaesthetic stuff, you'll be on a cloud of loveliness for, ohh, 2-3 minutes in that day of nail-chewing!

Counselling on Thursday. Expecting total calm and perfect clarity after a 45 min chat. It could happen...