Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 3 - all welcome

[Caitni]

Right ladies, time for a new thread.

And a big welcome to everyone . Here's to many more success stories and healthy pregnancies!

LL - how exciting. Two little girls. Can't wait to see the pics. I was looking through my firend's Mini Boden catalogue earlier (ridiculously expensive but super cute clothes) and thinking wistfully about a girl baby. I'm so delighted for you.

Flibberty - all sounds promising. Despite copious amounts of rasberry leaf tea, hot curry, pineapple juice and bonking, my DS still turned up two weeks late after four days of labour so I feel your pain. Sorry - that wasn't particulary encouraging was it? I'm sure you'll be blissful mum of two very soon. Good luck and if we don't hear from you before, see you on the other side. xx

Islegirl -I so know how your feeling. You just get on with things as normal and then sometimes in a quiet minute think - "My God - I'm going to do IVF. How did I get here??" It's surreal isn't it?

I'm feeling much more upbeat today after a few days of feeling a bit depressed about the bump brigade. I attribute it to watching Marley and Me alone last night. Not a film I would usually choose to watch but DP was out and thought I might as well. Oh my God, I wept very loudly for the last 15 minutes. I kind of tried to hold it in for a bit but then thought f*ck it - this is actually making me feel a lot better, so I just let it all out, went to bed and woke up this morning without the horrible weight on my chest.

Hia to Ginger, KC, NPA, Ailz, Susie. Hope you're all enjoying the bank holiday. xx

Hello Ladies,

I would love to join you. I have skim read bits of your thread, which is full of lovely encouraging stories and seems very friendly. Will hopefully start to catch up properly once I get to know you all!

I am currently waiting to go for my follicle count and will start Down reg in Sept hopefully. However, CD1 should have been last Tue, but AF has suddenly gone awol! Two BFN seems to suggest no ov this month. I'm going insane waiting to start! Anxiety keeps me awake at night!

Welcome Mummycat . . . the rollercoaster ride begins here . . .

Wow, I've just read over all the posts about Donor egg, so interesting. Thanks for everyones comments, I know it's been said before but it is such a good forum for talking about this stuff. I'm still feeling a bit wary about it all - but I think the egg-sharing rather than straight donation does address a lot of the ethical issues for me. I guess I am also wary because a friend of mine asked my partner (well actually asked me) to be a sperm donor a few years ago, and neither of us could do it. We might have felt different if we had had children . . I think that's another important factor. How would you have felt Caitni if your donor had been successful and you hadn't?

Hi to LL and your girls - very exciting. I take it you are now in landlocked Zurich - make sure you go and see the Chagalls in the church . . . I really like Zurich, so not what I expected.

Well, I am back on the wagon as of today. Have just had my first blood test and taken my first dose of stimms . . . hoping to get more than one egg but not expecting to. This is my second to last try so it's starting to feel . . . . well, conclusive. My doctor was hinting at an egg problem the other day - apparently there is research that eggs with genetic problems communicate badly with the brain - hence why you produce less on stimms. Not the only reason why you might not respond to stimms though.

Crossing fingers again . . .

Yes, ladies, I am finally happy to announce the birth of my little boy. He is still nameless - as we cannot agree on what to call him, but hope to have that sorted in the next few days!!!!

He was born at 4.35pm 30 August and weighed in at 6lb 11oz. A teeny tiny thing, but not as teeny tiny as my DD.

My waters broke at 4.30am y day morning, midwife came to assess me at 8am, I was 2cm dilated. Quickly progressed and midwife came back at 2pm as contractions were 2mins apart - with my lovely tens machine on.

I went into established labour at about 2.30pm, got into the pool and laboured away happily without any gas and air,. Started to feel the need to push at 4pm and he was born at 4.35pm in the water. The cord was wrapped around his neck, but he soon pinked up and started to scream. We left the cord to stop pulsating of its own accord and then DH cut it. Eventually

Little man latched on pretty much immediately and has fed about 3 times since. I am very worried about my milk given the probs I have with my boobs due to PCOS and lack of breast tissue, but we will see how it goes!

The funny bits - DH missed the birth of his son! and nearly didn't get to cut the cord.

Scarlett was brilliant and slept for 3hrs today, whilst I gave birth. She has been an absolute angel all day long, and keeps calling her little brother "my baby" and laughing at his feet and hands.

I had a natural 3rd stage and the placenta quickly came away without any probs. I was checked and only have grazes

He looks a bit battle weary due to the fast delivery and looks very much like his sister did when she was born. He is utterly adorable.

My mum ended up being my birth partner, think DH didn't really want to go through the labour, he really looked upset at me in the midst of all the grunting!!. He dashed out of the room to get me a wet flannel and ended up missing his son being born. very funny!

The waterbirth at home was a truly amazing experience. really relaxed and chilled out and the midwives were lovely. at one point I had 4, as my little man was born just before the shift change. I had a student there and it was her first home waterbirth.

we are all doing great, despite lack of sleep. I feel truly, truly blessed with my little miracles.

hope you are all doing ok?

will be back on when I have some time. Much love to you all xxxxx

Flibberty I'm a newbie on here, but would like to say congrats to you anyway. Your birth story made me smile a lot.

Londonlottie thanks for saying that late AF happens a lot when you want it to come! That makes me feel much better!

I read a bit of stuff about egg donors on here yesterday. I had previously decided not to egg share, but some of the stories on here have made me have a re-think. I'm 34 so it is feasible, just not sure whether I have PCOS or not - nor are the medical professionals!

Will be ringing my Fertility Clinic tomorrow to find out what to do about AF.

Am off to FF site now to reserach being a donor a bit more...

Wonderful news Flibberty! Many congratulations and I'm glad to hear such a positive birth story, how wonderful for you. All the best to you and your whole family.

Sooty, I started stimming today too. I know what you mean, it does feel final because this is actually our one shot at IVF (unless lotto pays off). But for now I'm very excited, trying not to get too excited, but I can't help but think about in just a few weeks we'll know if it worked or not!

Seems like KC11 and Duplo are also starting their stimming this week. So it seems we'll have lots of company on the rollercoaster this month. C'mon September!

I heard something a few days ago and wanted to check with you to see if it is true. Are the pg tests really only 5 days after IVF rather than the whole two weeks?

Hi to KC, NPA, Duplo, Bumpless, LL, summer, caitni, gingerwine, and welcome to Mummycat and xSusie.

Congrats Flibberty, it all sounds so easy? This is not what I have been led to believe . . . lucky you!

Glad to hear we are stimming together Islegrin, and Duplo and KC11 when do you start? Waiting for that day seven scan is becoming more and more nerve racking for me.

I have also booked an accupuncture appointment for Thursday. The evidence seems to point to it helping around embryo transfer and even though I think unconciously I have been trying to avoid the cost and time (and also perhaps extra commitment/disapointment) I have decided to pull out all the stops on the last two cycles . .

LL aye, there's the rub - testing outside of a cycle. No, not really. If I had loads of eggs and wasn't getting pregnant then we could do that, but as we have such a small amount it's better just to put them back. Dr is just putting it out there because we have now had 4 - 8 (and 9) cell grade A embryo's put back with no result. All have fertilized and developed well and yet I have never been even a day late! She's thinking that if we can put back another 2 - 4 and get the same result - a genetic problem would be her diagnosis, or incredibly bad luck. . . but at this stage it seems silly to spend time and money on getting a diagnosis, better just to keep trying . . . also my results (blood) have always been within all the normal ranges so ?

LL So terrible to hear about your friend's miscarriage, especially after all she's been through. This process of ttc can really rip your heart and guts out! You always have something wise to share and if possible, she's going to need lots of hugs. She's lucky to have a friend like you. Right now, everything is crap and it's good to support her through the darkest times. She's not going to be up to having hope again for some time, but eventually hope does return.

to all I know there are stupid things that people say to us when they find out we are ttc - or when a cycle fails that annoy us, but I was thinking yesterday - what could they possibly say that I actually wanted to hear? I've told my DH and mom that sometimes it helps me to just agree that things are shit right now, I'll get over it soon - but just agree with me for a while, because if you try to pull me out of the funk too soon, it's just fake. The other thing that helps, in small measure, is that my DH does tell me that even if it doesn't work, we will still be alright. We have a great life now, even without kids. Plus he tries to console me with thoughts of travel if we aren't paying for diapers.

Second day of stimming here - Lupron, Repronex and Follistum. The shot that goes in my arm is making it sore, which didn't happen when stimming for IUI, so perhaps I gave the shot differently - too deep or something. And the twinges are back with revenge - I keep telling myself after the cyst that those twinges "don't mean shit" helps keep me from hoping and counting how many follies are forming... I have a scan on Friday to check to see how the follies are coming along - I can't believe in about 10 DAYS I'll be doing EC! It's bizarre and truly exciting!!!

Hi everyone

LL two little girls!!! how adorable, I'm thrilled for you! ... and now you can open the whole new book of obsessions on girls names! Glad your move's done and dusted too, it's always such a massively stressful time. It's a bit late but my prescription for you is to put your feet up, make sure you can hold a cup of tea with your wrist splints on and let someone else do as much as possible! Make sure the biscuits are within reach too!

Awful awful news about your friend's m/c though. This is all our nightmare. Isle 's right, even from a distance I'm sure with your special talent for empathising you'll be able to give her lots of support through this terrible time.

Flibberty WOOOHOOOO!!!!!! Well done you, and your precious little baby boy! Sounds like a textbook birth that we should all aspire to. And LOL to your DH missing the moment! I hope the euphoria is still with you and you're managing to get at least some sleep. And great news that you're managing to BF as well, I remember how worried you were about that.

Islegrin good luck with the cycle! You must be doing a different form of stimms to me, as I didn't have any shots in the arm, all mine were in my (increasingly bruised and swollen) tummy. And you have completely different drugs too. Maybe stateside things have different names? Hope you're getting lots of protein in to get those follies growing like good 'uns, and managing to cut down to just doing the one job - stress really doesn't help at the moment so your colleagues will have to put their own fires out for a couple of weeks! Glad they've got that cyst sorted out - sounds very gory! Nothing's ever simple, is it...

You both make a lot of sense about faking a recovery because people want you to be happier. I do that like a pro because I don't want to impose it on people - but really, would I feel better if I burst into tears in front of my friends, family, colleagues etc? Sometimes bottling it up really is the right thing. I've started wondering about whether I'll survive better if I don't keep raking it up again - especially since going to my (excellent, perceptive, knowledgeable) acupuncturist on Sat. I know I was repressing a lot of the trauma of being told my eggs really had had it, but it had enables me to function for the previous week without feeling too ghastly. She always puts a needle in the 'bindi' spot right in the middle of my forehead which she says helps emotional balance, and 2 times out of 3 it's like turning on a tap and I start crying as soon as she does it. A combination of that, and just talking through options honestly with someone who knows about it, brought everything back into glaring reality and I was pretty crap for the rest of the day. Now I'm back in the deluded world of 'maybe it'll work', feeling much better and quite enjoying not having to think about everything.

Good luck with this one Sooty . I'd be interested to hear more about the 'buggered eggs are low responders' theory - sounds like it might apply to me too.

Welcome Mummycat1 , it's a great crowd on here. Wonderful if you're considering being a donor too, although of course you should only go down that route if it's right for you, so I hope you don't feel any pressure. why don't the docs know whether you have PCOS or not? If you go on much longer without either AF (boo) or a BFP (yay) you might want to get checked for cysts - they can delay AF if they're active. I had one of these which delayed a cycle and had to be treated - not trying to freak you out, but if AF's a week late you might want to mention it.

Summer I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. Them bumps are sent to try us.

Duplo the growth hormone sounds interesting... my clinic never mentioned it to me. It's these tantalising little things that are dangled in front of us that are really tormenting when they just turn out to be unproven theories, isn't it! You must be starting stimms soon? Good luck!

and to you too KC11 !

Sigh... wish I was starting a cycle, or had any hope that I ever will be able to again. Not that I specially want to do IVF again, you understand, just that it would mean it isn't all over...

Caitni hope you had fun in Ireland.

NPA how's the 2WW so far? So chuffed to hear how well superembie has been doing! Sending you tons of babydust.

So sorry about your friend ll, that's just terrible! Especially once you're in your second trimester and finally start relaxing about it all. It's very hard to know what to say to someone in this situation that will make them feel better but agree with islegrin that maybe just lending an ear and giving them the opportunity to express their pain may be helpful, I think that's what I would want.

I love the description of your Swiss dr, but I'm not impressed that he makes you feel like you definitely need a cs. You should still be able to decide later on though. Personally I like the idea of giving birth at a hospital, I like being able to get pain relief whenever I need it. I AM a wuss!!

Hi Islegrin my cycle buddy. Very exciting that you have your scan on friday, not long now!

Wave to my other cycle buddies Sootie and KC11! Hope this will be the super lucky month!!!

Bumpless, I see an accupuncturist too and I think it really helps, well hasn't gotten me pg yet but makes me feel better at least. Am willing to try anything really to make a difference, I'm just hoping that if I do lots of little things that will improve my chances I will somehow manage to scrape together enough improvements to make it happen one day. So have you completely given up on ivf then? Have you read inconceivable? I found a lot of the suggestions a bit odd, and don't think I can get myself to do the visualisations where I find my inner orphan (huh?!) but generally the book gave me hope that even if ivf is not the solution for me, there may be other things I can do (appart from DE of course).
I still haven't decided about the growth hormone, and I'll have to tell them tomorrow - argh! but I think I'll probably say no. Just don't feel desperate enough yet on my 2nd attempt to risk messing myself up even more, maybe next time...

Welcome mummycat, this is a great board for advice and support!

I got AF yesterday and will go for my scan tomorrow lunchtime where very hopefully they will give me the go ahead and a few bags full of drugs. I'm still not really excited about it, feels like the drs have spoilt it for me already with all their doom and gloom prognoses but would love to prove them wrong.

Also, I'm having a complete childcare nightmare. my fantastic nanny moved abroad and I found a replacement who never turned up to her first day at work and has gone completely awol. not sure if I should be worried about her or if she is just a complete dork who went to get herself a better job and was too scared to tell me about it. probably the latter. but this means that I have to drop dd with an assortment of babysitters and friends while I work and can only work short days and use up holidays to make up for it, not sure how I will manage to find cover for all my ivf appoinments tbh. And instead of relaxing I have to spend my evenings looking through CVs and interviewing nannies. Oh well, I will get through it..

Morning all. What a big day for posts . . . Hey LL sorry to hear about your friend with the miscarriage. My SIL has chronic fatigue and it really %$£@*& up her life - she didn't feel game to take on having kids etc. Your friend is really brave to get pregnant with it, not sure if that's a consolation? BTW in OZ almost all twins are delivered via CS and ususally at 8 not 9 months. It is highly recommended here . . . just in case you were feeling like you missing out. I was a home birth and it does make for a nice story (my midwife has a matching picture of a set my Dad painted), but I think with twins - saftey first . . .

I've been having those little 'twingy hopes' Islegrin. I was playing tennis last night and felt decidedly crampy and twingy. I do remember when I had my only big follicle count I had the same feeling - so here's hoping . .

bumbless the 'buggered eggs/low response' theory is pretty vague. But it's basically this. Eggs produce some level of communication with the brain which triggers ovulation. If the eggs are bad the communication is weak and therefore the response it bad. There are ofcourse loads of other reasons why you might not respond well. Also, I seem to only produce two eggs no matter how many follicles I get which is another factor we don't quite understand yet . . It's frustratingly vague . . but I guess it's better than twenty years ago when I probably would have had no diagnosis at all!

Hang in there Duplo, remember the Doctors have a responsiblity to not allow you to get your hopes up. It's hard because you want them to be positive, but that would be irresponsible of them - especially if you are in the private system and paying. This doesn't mean you shouldn't be hopeful though, and remember it's all quite unpredictable. Each cycle I've tried has been quite different, my Doctor says it's still possible that I might produce more than two eggs, and she had a patient who after three attempts finaly produced two eggs and had twins - case of low responder not being about buggered eggs.

LL wonderful pictures - especially the 3D ones of the girls. I know I've said it before, but it really does lift our ttc spirits to hear the tales of a graduate! Thanks for sharing the photos.

Isle

Evening gals

Went for a run when I got home from work, playing a mantra of 'slim and fertile, slim and fertile' in time with running - hey, even if I don't get pregnant I might get fit, that would be a result!

Duplo it's not that I've given up really, more that everyone from the clinic to my acupuncturist are having serious talks with me about how donor eggs are my only realistic option, and I don't want to hear it. But really, with 3 IVF cycles behind me, only one of which got to ET, I know they're right. It would be easier in a way if we hadn't had that one good cycle, as I can't help hoping for another one, whereas if they'd all been busts I would be much clearer about what our options are. Thanks for the Inconceivable tip, I haven't read it but an Amazon order is going in now! Gotta find out about that inner orphan (?!). Sounds like you're being very level-headed about not getting sucked into growth hormone things before you know whether it's worth the gamble. Hope your scan went well today and you've embarked on lucky cycle number 2!

Sooty ain't it a bummer when we come up against the limits of medical knowledge! I think we all get a bit used to most things being pretty well understood most of the time, and then this stuff takes us right to the edge of research and we run into theories... that said, the buggered eggs theory sounds pretty sensible to me. Presumably that would mean that if we did manage to muster up a decent egg or two we might respond better all round, so fingers xed for that. I love your twin story though - that's the sort of thing we need to hear lots more of!

LL thank goodness you're getting some relief from the CTS. Nettle tea certainly sounds preferable to codeine (wish I'd known about it when my hands were bad!) and OMG about te withdrawal symptoms, horrible thought! Not sure of our plans at the moment - it's either bite the bullet and go for donor eggs, or let the clinic monitor me in hope of finding a month with 4 or more antral follicles and an FSH below 10, neither of which is all that likely. I'm going to try to arrange counselling next week if the clinic will let us do it as part of the costs we've already shelled out for the last 2 cycles.

Your pix of the girlies are amazing! Really heartwarming to see them, real proper minipeople! Thanks.

hello and grow grow grow to all the cyclers!

just a quick one from me, went for my scan and everything's fine so I'll start injecting in a minute. got a massive bag of drugs, sure it's more stuff than last time. Also went to see ian for an accupuncture session which was nice, so quite a good day all round. except for the fact that they kept me sitting around for nearly 2 hours in the clinic at lunch time and I missed a work meeting in the afternoon. oh well, priorities!

Thanks sooty you've really helped to make me feel more positive. actually today I'm feeling more hopeful about the whole thing, but I'm just worried about getting all disappointed again at my 1st scan this sunday.

Those scan pictures are amazing lottie, you can really see their little faces and everything. so sweet!

Thanks for all the welcomes ladies!

Londonlottie Terrible news about your friend. she sounds like an incredibly brave lady. Good luck to her.

All your pictures are lovely - really nice to see

Islegrin your comments on how we are feeling and what we actually want people to say to us really struck a chord. Good luck to you.

Bumpless Thanks for the advice on cysts, I'll take it on board.

As for not being sure whether I have PCOS or not well it's a long story...

Please don't hate me when I tell you that I am a mother to 3 children already...

Back in 1994 I fell pregnant naturally and accidentally(then aged 19). Normal pregnancy and birth. I was at Uni at the time. So I have DS1 who is currently aged 14. My relationship with his dad was turbulent to say the least! Tried to do, what I thought was, the right thing and stay with him. In 1998 I had a 2nd DS. Fell pg naturally after 9 months of trying.

In 2000, I got myself into a better job which gave me lots of confidence and I finally got away from very abusive man. Trained as a teacher. Met gorgeous, kind and caring man in 2002 who is fabulous father to DS1 and 2.

We started trying for a baby in 2004, but after very stressful OFSTED inspection my AF stopped from Nov to the following March. Had bloods done then which seemed to suggest PCOS. Went for scan to confirm this and they said "well it could be, but it's not that
easy to tell."

Started Clomid in November 2005 and fell pg first time. DS1 was born in August 2006 after normal pregnancy and birth. Started trying again as soon as we could and managed to get pg naturally in Aug 2007. In Nov 2007 had an MC at 13 weeks which was horrid and traumatic and lost loads of blood and was very weak and ill afterwards. Was a big emotional mess for a long time, but constantly trying to hide it like we do.

Since then nothing. All blood tests show normal levels. Had a hy-co-sy in Oct 2008 and the had a lap and dye in Nov 2008. Report from this said all was normal.

Have just had 7 months of Clomid which I responded to excellently every time, so was told that it is unlikely that I have PCOS and have just been unlucky. However, saw a consultant in July who said that my blood levels suggest that I could easily get PCOS if I put on lots of weight! So will try not to do that!

We are now waiting to start our first round of IVF. I feel pretty drained and stressed. I can hide it in the daytime, but anxiety usually wakes me in the early hours of the morning.

Spoke to fertilty nurse about an hour ago who said that they want me to wait for another couple of weeks before giving me something to induce a bleed. They are hoping that I bleed naturally and she said that it was probably the fallout of the Clomid messing up my system.

Have had some PMT symptoms - little niggling pains in tummy, plus I,m biting my fingernails - always a sign for me - and have been irritable with all three DCs

Went to pictures with DH last night and saw "500 days of Summer". We really enjoyed ourselves. Felt like a bit of light relief!

Duplo How come you start injecting already? I have been told that, when I finally start, I won't start the drugs until CD21.

Duplo based on your post I imagined a big flowery shopping bag full of meds on your arm, you coming into the kitchen setting everything down then starting to inject within the minute! It made me smile Sorry if I missed this - but did you say that all of your inj are in the tummy or leg? none in the arm or behind?

My DH would be able to shoot himself in the eye before giving me a shot, so I'm left to my own devices. My arm is not as sore now, so that's good, but overall the inj have been a breeze. Except that I accidentally stabbed myself in the leg yesterday while trying to feel my other deltoid to know who to "relax" the muscle the most - bang the needle went right into my thigh!!! Now I have a proper bruise - ha ha, my DH got a big laugh out of it, we've got to keep our sense of humor about these things. I actually look forward to doing the injections (how twisted is that?!).

Sooty I'm hoping for another BIG follicle count for you this time! Have you started meds yet?

KC11 How are you doing? When do you start the rollercoaster climb again?

Mummy I think they didn't start my meds until well after CD21 - I was on the bc pills for so long I lost track of days! Seemed more like 28-30 days though. I have heard there are short protocols and long protocols, so perhaps that is the explanation.

Flibberty not to be too demanding but... what's the fellow's name??? and when can we see pictures, please???

I finally talked to my mom in detail last night, overall it went very well but then she said one negative line that just will stick with me. I hate it that I can have a conversation for 45 minutes and only the BAD stuff sticks with me. So onwards and upwards! Overall I feel 100 times better than I did on the bc pills - OMG! Not nearly as many migraines and headaches, boobs not brick hard any more. I'm still having some small twinges ("don't mean shit" - see earlier post), but nothing like the pains after the cyst. So I'm really quite happy and excited - first scan tomorrow!!! I keep trying to peer into the crystal ball - how many follies will there be on each side, how big will they be already??? Next scan scheduled for Tuesday - EC could be only a week away from today.

I'm estatic - god, I can't imagine what I will be like after I get a BFP! My DH is really excited too, but he keeps trying to downplay it because I'm excited, he feels like he needs to be the counterbalance. (Silly man - I love him so much!)

Big growing follie vibes and sticky dust to NPA!

Hi everyone, not posted for a while as at a bit of a low really and not much happening here.

Mummycat - Welcome. I certainly won't hate you for already having DCs. I have 2 myself from my first marriage. I find I feel terribly guilty when I read of people who have none and I know I should be grateful for the Ds's that I have. The fact is though that the desire I have to have a child (and my DH has no children of his own so it would be his first) is as strong as it ever was. The pain of not being able to is heart renching. I too hide what I feel in the day but when I wake up each morning it is the first thing I think of. This is a great thread for wise words and comfort. I hope AF comes so you can get on with things. I'm so fed up myself at the moment I'm not sure I can help you, but I do know how you feel if that's any help!!

Flibberty - Many congratulations. I hope you are not too sleep deprived and are all well.

Londonlottie - I love those pictures. Glad to hear the move went ok and you are settling in. Terrible news about your friend. I'm sure she will appreciate your support.

Bumpless - I am prescribing you a big hug! I hope you and your DH manage to make a plan for what next. Perhaps you need some time to take stock and the counselling sounds like a good move. Well done for going for a run too. I'm sure exercise always makes me feel a bit better, although I can't muster up the will power at the moment!

Sooty - I liked the twin story too. It gives me a little hope. Hope the stims are going ok.

Duplo - All the best for you this cycle. Will keep my fingers crossed for Sundays scan.

A big hello to all and good luck to those cycling.

We are just killing time until we see our consultant on Monday. I am pretty sure he is going to be all doom and gloom and tell us it's not worth trying IVF with my dismal AMH and DH's few slow swimmers! My DH keeps saying 'Wait and see what he says' but I find it hard to be rational and patient! Just to add to my stress levels I found out that I have a job interview next week. I would like the job (having been a SAHM for some years) but now the timing is worrying me. I'm not sure if I can start a new job and fit in scans, bloods etc.. at the same time. I am torn between thinking that a new job would be a healthy distraction from obsessing about pregnancy, to it being too much additional stress. I feel if I don't go for it though I might be missing an opportunity that I would regret. It is against my nature to lie but I can hardly say what's really going on at a job interview.

Anyway enough moping from me.

NPA - How is your 2WW going? You must be half way through nearly.

Summer - Perhaps I will try some train tracks. The lego annoys me when there are bits missing that we need!!

Islegrin - I spent so long typing my last post you got one in first! Lots of luck for scan tomorrow. I so hope this one works for you. It would be exciting to have another EC on this thread. I know what you mean about one partner needing to counterbalance the others feelings. We are like that too although I am generally the negative one at the moment!!

Someone tell me to stop being a misery!

Gingerwine - I reckon you should focus all your energies positively on job interview. Having a job will give you less time to think about stuff! Sod the timing - do this for you. Putting your life on hold just makes you feel more resentful. Not sure what AMH stands for, but I reckon your DH is right even though it's incredibly hard to wait and see isn't it? Monday is not far away - am sure you can think of some fun stuff to do at the weekend. Chin up

Well, I was a real B**ch to DH when he arrived home. It just seemed to come from nowhere. It must be PMT - was so irrational. Apologised about ten minutes later and tried to explain. Poor boy - wonder what I'll be like on the drugs in a few weeks time!

Hope your scan went well Islegrin, I have mine tomorrow (Sat your time). And Duplo if you are scanning on Sunday that is quite early? After 4 days of meds? My lot make me wait until day 7/8 for the first scan which is more conclusive so don't worry too much for Sunday . . .

Go for the job Gingerwine. My theory is to try and keep other aspects of your life on track as much as possible. It helps with the sense of failure that IVF permeates . .

I was trying to explain this to the accupuncturist last night - why wine is important for mental health - because if I go through the whole abstinence thing I start to feel like I deserve a pregnancy, and all this denial has to lead to something - which it hasn't so far. Keeping drinking (at moderate levels) helps me to not build up too many expectations. She didn't really buy it . . . maybe I'll cut down on the coffee.

Gotta go, will report after Scan . . .