Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 3 - all welcome

[Caitni]

Right ladies, time for a new thread.

And a big welcome to everyone . Here's to many more success stories and healthy pregnancies!

Hi all - typed out a long message this morning only to lose it all, most irritating!

Lottie I remember the inbetweeny feeling well - I just felt fat and not pregnant for ages, but felt much better after the 20 week scan, which is also when I could start to feel DD kicking, much relief all round. Your Mountain Buggy sounds lovely, I almost have pram envy!

NotPrincessAnn lovely to have you back, and stimming already. When is your first scan? I know some people manage to run when stimming, but I never managed it at all, so don't feel bad about laying off the running now.

Summermagic it probably is worth looking into changing clinics if one looks like it will suit you better. I've changed clinics this year, and the old clinic sent me copies of all the relevant charts, letters and test results which I gave to the new clinic, saved me having to redo all the HIV and Hep tests as well. It cost me £40 to get the copies sent, which I thought was a bit steep, but other clinics may be cheaper. And re FSH and AMH - I think the reason they do both tests is because it give the consultant a better overall view of the state of your ovaries. My FSH isn't great (10.3 a year ago) but my AMH came back this year at 14, so better than expected, and my experience is that the AMH test is the one to take seriously as the consultants say it is a much better indicator of the likelyhood of IVF success.

Bumpless I'd love to get back into running again, and plan to try and do 2 runs this weekend - neither will be a 5K run though, but will endeavour to do my best. I'm going to run into issues with childcare as DH is away for the next two weeks, so may struggle to find the time to run regularly until DD goes to preschool for 2 mornings a week in Sept. And FWIW if I were you I'd jump on your DH just in case you are ovulating - if you think of the number of people who do get pregnant naturally the cycle or two after IVF it means that it is possible to produce better/more eggs than normal due to all the extra hormones kicking around

Hi to Roseca, Bluebell (and her lovely generous DH) and everyone else

Hello, just a quicky as am away on 2 day break with best g/f's (apart from you all, obviously!) in Bath, going to spa and shopping - have promnised myself that this is turning point and will come back in positive and healthy frame of mind!

LL buggy sounds like such fun, and twins kicking sounds even more so, can't wait to hear when it first happens!

Summer fab to have you back! Your last cycle sounds ghastly. Have you considered getting checked for whether you had a cyst? They can delay your period and give you all sorts of symptoms etc. So sorry you had your hopes dashed. We changed clinics too and didn't need to pay a charge for the notes, I think it might depend on how organised they are and ours weren't at all!

OAP , right, first run Sunday! I do feel much better when I'm doing stuff. And I did jump on DH - didn't tell him why, but going off leaving him alone for 2 days seemed like a good enough reason

Ooh, and hi NPA , I'll follow your lead on the running too - hey, wait for me! Hopefully the cake and drugs will slow you down enough for me to keep up...

Good luck with this onme, everything's crossed that it does the trick!

Hi All,

Susie here. I'm a battle weary IVF veteran. If there was a medal I'd get it. Brave I am, successful I am not! Over the past 2 years I've had 5 IUIs (that was the easy part) then 7 IVFs and on the 7th got pregnant with an empty sac so had surgery. Then IVFs 8 and 9 and even 10. On IVF 10 this year we got pregnant and WITH TWINS.

But, it was not to be.

Twin 1 died at 10 weeks. Then at 15 weeks early in the summer I felt 'odd', had a scan and found that twin 2's heart had stopped that day. He was removed surgically the following day. We will 'see' him at his funeral shortly.

We thought this cloud had a silver lining as we had two blastocysts to transfer. Odds are high with blasts. We went for the transfer today. Sadly, neither survived the transfer.

So I'm now on the hunt for donor eggs or someone going through IVF that wants to egg share (in the London area) and get reduced cost treatment.

At this point I'm contemplating advertising for a donor on the side of a London bus or a jumbo, but hopefully will think of a slightly lower key way to find a donor/egg sharer!
Susie

hi xSusie i dont know what to say its soo hard but my sympathies are with you. I have only had one attempt at IVF so far had to embies transferred but got a BFN and am going back to see the consultant early next month to discuss the next step and what we want to do. Unfortunately i live in Yorkshire but am from London originally i hope you are successful in finding an egg donor very soon and that things get alot brighter for you

not that there is anything wrong with Yorkshire i love it what i mean to say was that if i was in a position to help you xSusie then i would

hello to everyone else hope you all had a fantastic weekend

I could have sworn I posted to this thread yesterday - the computer must have eaten it?

Anyway, I hope everyone had a lovely weekend. Bumpless I went for a run again on Sunday evening - it seemed the least I could do after watching Jessica Ennis and Usain Bolt be so fabulous at the World Atletics championships!

Hello xSuzie, I'm so sorry to hear of your IVF struggles, you must have had to be so very strong to cope with so many IVF cycles, and particularly losing your twins . I'm afraid I can't help you with the egg donation (too old and looking at the same prospect myself) but best wishes in finding a donor.

As for me, I'm having my first scan of this cycle tomorrow, after 6 days of stimming. I can't say I'm hopeful though, I haven't really felt that anything is going on in my abdomen, unlike last time, so I'm not expecting much.

xSusie my heart's breaking for you. I can't believe what you've had to go through. We've just had our third IVF failure and that's been incredibly tough, so I can't imagine how you've made it through so many attempts and such a traumatic loss of twins and still sound so strong and clear. I'm also at the considering donor eggs stage. Have you spoken to the London Women's Clinic? They run an egg-sharing programme, which costs around £5000, and I believe there's on average a 4-9 month wait, so not too bad compared to other places.

NPA good luck with your scan today, I'm rooting for lots of follies! I never felt anything much until the second week of stimming (not that I'm a great advert for responding!) so fingers xed that there's lots quietly going on in there. I went for a run too on Sunday - feels good to have got started on the road to fitness.

Then I foolishly read the letter from the clinic which had arrived while I was away, reiterating that donor eggs are the realistic option for us now, and the reality hit me like a train so I spent the rest of the day uncontrollably bursting into tears. Poor DH had lots of mopping to do. AF arrived - with a vengence - in the evening - I'm glad this cycle's now well and truly over.

Morning ladies

I haven't had any time to MN for the past week or so (most unlike me!) so have missed out on lots of posts. I've tried to catch up (tricky as work is very open plan) so forgive me for any I miss out on

NotPrincessAnne am hoping today's scan brings good news about lovely follicles growing

Bumpless well done on the running and I hope you had fun in Bath. Though I'm sorry to hear that Sunday was such an emotional day for you . Grieving for a failed cycle is inevitable, when this is compounded by facing up to the need to use donor eggs then it must be so much more to deal with...am thinking of you and sending you big virtual hugs

Susie I posted on your other thread too, as I really hope you find someone to help with the egg sharing. You've probably already done this but perhaps it's worth posting on Fertility Friends as well? I know they have a whole section on egg sharing, including a thread of posts from couples looking for egg-sharers and donors.

Summermagic what a nightmare about your last cycle . Hope you've got your FSH results back by now. Having a high AMH count means you should (probably) have a low FSH count afaik. As everyone else has said AMH is generally the ones that the doctors prefer now. I had ishoos with my FSH as it was low but my oestradiol level was very high and the risk was that it was masking my FSH and making it artificially low. I personally think it's because I ovulate early (day 10-11) and the clinic could only fit in my day 3 test on day 5...so they made my take an AMH test and the consultant was much happier with that.

Lottie glad to hear the buggy/pram has arrived! Have fun playing with it - I always think buggies/prams are a nightmare to deal with unless you're the parent who's actually using them (certainly I've spent time lugging nieces and nephews around in travel system contraptions where even putting the break on felt like an achievement for me!). And thank god you saved the twins (and yourself) from the pumpkin colour! It's very sweet that your DH was so in love with it but charcoal is infinitely nicer

OAP hope you're not too busy/exhausted with your DH being away.

Aliz have you had your review app yet? Sorry if you've mentioned this already

Islegrin Roseca Horton Duplo Flibberty (has your little boy arrived yet? [excited emoticon]) and everyone else - hope you're all doing well.

Hi Lottie sounds like you're enjoying your twins pregnancy. Congrats again. I hope you will all be happy in Zurich. You must leave soon?!?

Hi GillyDaffodil How are you? are you currently having and treatment?

Lottie I envy you every single symptom and ailment!! Yes, I'm on the second go at IVF. I am on day 12 (of 21) of Marvelon Pill, then will start injections of stimluation meds etc ...... I feel awful. Aching legs, stomach ache, headache and feel nauseous. I almost started myself thinking that maybe i'm pregnant but DH and I have not had any baby dancing since my last period so I can't be. I have a scan due on 25 August for the clinic to check the Pill has done what it should. Then the fun begins. I agree with someone else's post. It's gratef that you are still posting on this thread when you are properly on the road of pregnancy.

I have not been on the site for a few months, whilst waiting out the three cycle wait. My clinic have been good. It's me that has been impatient. I hope this IVF is the one for us.

So, I have two 8mm follicles on my right ovary, and one 3mm follicle on my left. Not too much to get excited about, considering I'm on the short protocol and the highest dosage of Gonal F, but certainly better than my first cycle! I was a bit glum as last time I was told that I'd need a minimum of three to progress to EC, but the nurse today said given the circumstances the consultant would proceed with two, so fingers crossed she had that right, and meantime I shall be doing lots of resting (here I am on the sofa in the sun as I type and healthy, protein-filled eating.

Hi to LL and Caitni, glad to hear you're both doing well. The pumpkin sounds lovely to me, but then I love bright orange, it's one of my favourite colours. You would have to live with it for a fair while though, so maybe more muted is the sensible choice!

And sorry to hear you had a bad time over the weekend about the possibility of donor eggs, Bumpless. I go through that too every now and again - sometimes I am convinced it would be a good thing (I have a fair few genes I wouldn't mind not passing on ) and other times I really recoil from the idea. It's a big issue, and it is obviously something that takes a bit of time and thinking to come to terms with. Best of luck with your future plans.

Hi KC11, we cross posted! I hated being on Marvelon too - I felt terribly lethargic and really down both times I had to take that, so all the best while you get through that. Fingers crossed this will be the cycle for you.

Hello everyone

Lottie - I have full on buggy and kick envy. How lovely that you've felt your first movement. It's just the most amazing thing ever isn't it? Just wait til they start doing full on rolly polies. One of the funniest things that happened while I was pregnant with my DS was when I had a sudden dose of loud flatulence(the most polite way I can think of putting it) and my belly jumping a meter in to the air. I must have waken and frighten the poor little thing half to death. I think you made the right choice with your pushchair too. You can always jazz it up with bright blankets/toys/nests. I also found the box my pushchair came in very useful during the first stages of labour as well. It was just the right hight to lean and rock over.

Caitni - not long now til you'll start feeling your little one move. Have you dared look at pushchairs yet?

NPA - great news about the follicles. I read somewhere today that a lot of embryologists like short protocols because even though they tend to produce less eggs they are often of better quality. I don't know how true that is but I hope it will be in your case.

Susie - I am so so sorry to hear about what you've gone through. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must have been to loose your precious twins. I hope the funeral gives you some sense of peace and that you're successfull in your quest for a donor.

Bumpless - sorry your bastarding af arrived. Can totally sympathise on the self destruct mode. the day I got my af I ate a pasty and chocolate bar for lunch, a MaDonalds for my tea, a bottle of wine and two cigarettes (I haven't smoked in ages and ages) in succession!!!!! Stupid I know but I just wanted to say a big "F*ck you" to my body. We're friends again now!

KC11 - sorry to hear your feeling so rough but fingers crossed it will all be worth it.

Got my FSH today which is 2.6. That's ok isn't it? I'm trying to collect all the sstuff I'll need for my consultation at the LLWC on 7 Sep. My af is due a week after so i if they put me on the antagonist short protocol which the other clinic were planning on doing, I'll be ready to start asap if they'll let me. Managed to get a print out of my AMH form the clinic while I was there, (51) my HIV and Hepititis results from my GP and had a smear and swabs done today. DP is getting sperm tested again at GP's tomorrow. Am I missing anything do you think?

Got a friend testing after her first IVF cycle on Friday and sister in law testing after her fourth a week tomorrow. The whole world seems to have gone IVF crazy. Or maybe it's just me going plain old crazy.

Big hello to everyone else I haven't mentioned. xxx

Hi All,
It's Susie the IVF veteran (10 then twin miscarriage).

Caitni Yes I've posted on Fertility Friends. What next...side of a London bus? (jumbo jet?)

Bumpless Sorry to hear you've had 3 failed IVFs. Don't like my 10 failures put anyone off! After all it where that hard to go through I wouldn't have done 10 in 2 and a bit years....(but don't talk to me about the cost!). Yes I'd heard about London Women's and have actually been to see them but I've seen someone about the miscarriage who felt that LWC didn't have great statistics. It's hard to evaluate them on the HFEA website because they are quite new (they amalgamated with the Cromwell a few years back). So although they have a relatively short list, I'm troubled by this apparent lack of success. Of course they may be better than the statistics indicate but how does one ever know? The Lister has the best stats for egg share at the moment, hence I was trying to get someone to share there.

LondonLottie It's an interesting one re payment isn't it? Yes it's 100% illegal to pay anything other than travel expenses up to £250 which is madness given what people have to go through. I have assumed that if I found an altruistic donor no one is going to stop me buying her a nice gift. Otherwise it would seem such a terrible thing to put someone through. Now you see why so many people get on the place to Spain to Ukraine. There you can find a fertile donor (not an egg sharer but a donor so you get all the eggs) because they are allowed to be paid! And you can hold out for someone who has had a child. I want to do it in this country but it's made pretty hard for us!
Susie

Hi gals

Susie I suspect the most important thing is that you go where you feel comfortable and confident, so if the Lister is giving you good vibes, stick with 'em! I've done 2 IVF cycles with LWC, and although neither worked, I've been very impressed with the clinic. The stats can only give part of the story - I wasn't eligible for treatment at several other clinics because I'm 41 and have an FSH of 15, but LWC were still willing to let me try, despite the risk that it would drive down their success rates. They've been very active in campaigning for legal egg-sharing, so I'd be surprised if they lagged behind with results on this.

LL WOWOWOWOW for the kick! I can't even imagine what it must feel like! How unbelievably exciting!
It's marvellous being able to live vicariously like this. I wonder if you'll be able to tell which one's kicking you in due course? FWIW I'd have gone for the charcoal too - that way you can wear purple while pushing it...

KC welcome back! And everything crossed for this cycle. Sorry to hear you're already feeling rough and haven't got to the needle stage - or maybe that'll turn out better for you than the marvellon.

NPA great to hear that the consultants will bend the rules for you, that means you already have more developing than you need to proceed. And I found both times that more follies turned up on the second scan than were visible on the first, in fact last time more appeared at every scan. Glad that you're doing the resting thing too!

I know what you mean about the genes I wouldn't want to pass on - the eczema asthma and hayfever (to say nothing of the disorganisation, being able to put on weight by walking past a cake shop and no head for numbers) are not things I'd wish on a baby! Still, small consolation for not having a genetic link to your child... I'm still not
really resolved on this. Ridiculous thoughts like what if DH and I broke up, I wouldn't get custody because no-one would give a child to an unrelated parent over a related one / what if I just don't like the baby, dont you have to be related to them to put up with all the chaos and disruption / what if it rejects me in favour of it's real mother when it's old enough... etc etc etc. I'm sure it's the same thoughts that everyone in this situation has.

Summer LOL to waking your baby up with a f@rt! And another LOL to your self-destruct F off message to your body - that's exactly where I've been! An FSH of 2.6 is fantastic, go to the top of the class. I don't know the LLWC, but sounds like you've got a lot of the results you need. Mine also wanted chlamydia I think, but presumably they can tell you if you ask in advance?

Caitni hi and thanks for the hug! Bath was lovely, and if I can spend a long weekend with a 4 months pregnant friend 5 days after a failed IVF cycle I reckon I can do anything now.

Flibberty can't wait to hear how you are and how your new baby is... tell us soon please...